Match of COMPLETE AND UTTER DOOM!!!!

[Meeplelard]

Hetzel vs. Augst.   Yes.

(I'm sure we all know what Augst can do by now, and Hetzel is stat topicable (FE10 stat topic), and even if you haven't played the game, you can figure out what he's capable of, interps be damned <.<)

[Pyro]

Where is my lesbian orgy button? (goes to play XF)

[DjinnAndTonic]

Augst wins with his clever one-liners. Hetzel retreats from the onslaught of 'amazing' jokes.

-Djinn

[Yakumo]

Augst wins because, while Hetzel will eventually get bored and leave,  Augst is pretty much stuck; wins by ringout.

That said, it's kinda stupid to put together a match where absolutely nothing at all happens.  Seriously.  This topic really didn't need to exist.  It's one thing when there's something to debate, but this is totally different.

[Rozalia]

Whoever wins, we lose.

Augst wins because the match is for some unexplained reason on a soon to be blowing up Garra De Leon (I think its called). Hetzel dies while trying to escape in a hover-machine (Ring out?) while Augst uses his uber plot powers to absorb the explosion and then blow up. Augst wins because he died after Hetzel.

Really though, I got nothing.