Last week, on the Ultimate Tournament of Ultimate Doom Part IV...
Lightsabre met Masamune in a blinding battle of frogs with swords. Scales flew, skin was sliced and diced, and somwhere, pigs cried. Struck by the Masamune, Kermit lay down weapon, clutching his wounded arm. With the immortal words, "If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possible imagine", Kermit stood, ready to take the blow. Frog readied his sword, but before he could complete the Star Wars reference, a swarm of spacesuit-wearing pigs jumped him and proceeded to tear him apart. Guess dating a hog comes in handy.
Meanwhile, Riki fought a completely uphill battle - Beast Boy's multitude of transformations completely outclassed even Riki's Black Dragon form. Realizing his plight, Riki attempted the unthinkable, and combined all 7 of the rings to grant him ultimate power. He was rewarded and transformed into the most powerful being in existence...Vergil the Fowl, guide to Mighty Max. Of course, despite infinite knowledge and wisdom, the fact remained that Vergil just can't fight. Beast Boy morphed into a flu virus, gave Vergil/Riki Avian Influenza, and watched the CDC cart him away.
One, Two, Ghost Dad's coming for you. Three, four don't lock the cupboard door. Five, six grab your pudding sticks. Seven, eight don't ever be late. Nine, ten cause he'll do it again...The battle between reaper and travel agent was much less epic than expected. After offering Grim an all expenses paid trip to Cuba well away from Billy and Mandy, his victory was sealed. After all, even reapers need vacations.
In the robotic division, the Prime Directive was upheld. The vile Warmech was defeated by Robocop, upholder of the law. Although there were many casualties, justice won out in the end.
Megaman vs. the Vice President - what else could be more thrilling? Megaman did the smart thing and defeated Metal Wolf in battle and GOT EQUIPPED WITH Rocket Punch! Unfortunately, it worked like the Hard Knuckle, allowing Richard Hawk to deftly dodge it, making the Blue Bomber waste all of his charges. Wounding Megaman, Richard Hawk prepared for the final blow, diving in close. In desperation, Megaman activated subconsciouly any weapon to defend himself...and ended up activating PLANT BARRIER. Which killed the Vice President on contact, striking his other weakness - poisoned tea leaves.
Luther and Bill Gates eventually did team up. Microsoft bought out Sphere Corp., and using their technology, was able to virtualize the entire world. Of course, Luther won out overall - I mean, RPG party of Bob Dole, Jerry Seinfeld, David Bowie, and Chuck Norris? Who wouldn't play his game now?
Judas pissed off a lot of Christians, as well as the world itself. Of course, this was all according to God's master plan. Arnold? Got jack and shit. Tough break, you pathetic excuse for an American.
And so, we welcome our victors from last week to the quarter finals...NOW!
And now, for the quarter finals, when everything goes to hell and no insanity is deemed too nutty! Beware! Madness inside! No descriptions right now - maybe later.
Bestiality DivisonMr Ed (Mr. Ed) vs. Rikki-Tikki-Tavi (see name)Tony (WA:XF) vs. Mothra (Godzilla)Mumble (Happy Feet) vs. Firkraag (Baldur's Gate)Kermit the Frog (Muppets) vs. Beast Boy (Teen Titans)Oz (Buffy) vs. Typing of the Dead Typist (Typing of the Dead)
Nancy Drew (Nancy Drew) vs. Ash (Evil Dead)
Yugi Muto (Yu-Gi-Oh!) vs. Sabrina (Sabrina the Teenage Witch)
Ghost Dad (Ghost Dad/BARKLEY) vs. Manny Calavera (Grim Fandango)Megatron (Transformers) vs. Robo (Chrono Trigger)
Dist (Tales of the Abyss) vs. Mecha-Birdo (I Wanna Be The Guy)
Bender (Futurama) vs. Dragoon Fenix (Starcraft)
Robocop (Robocop) vs. Megaman (Megaman)Darth Vader (Star Wars) vs. Gary Coleman (Real Life)
Michael Flatley (Riverdance) vs. William Shakespeare (Real Life)
Sharon (LoL2) vs. Pheonix Wright (Phoenix Wright)
Luther Lansfeld (SO3) vs. Judas Iscariot (The Bible)Voting closes in a week! VOTE NOW!!!!
