Season 54-3 Missing Comments

[SageAcrin]

Loki>Arc

Fei>Nephenee

[Dunefar]

Vormav is sure a ball-buster! He can lay down the...oh wait, BAAL. Whoops! Baal, my mistake! Oooooh. Ow. Can poor Baal get a heal spell, someone?

[Sei]

Ryu >>> Karti

Kartikeya had figured out what went wrong last week!

He should have done research on his opponent's girlfriend first before he threatened to kill her! How was he to know that puny human had a bunch of freaky monsters at her command?

And so, with the knowledge that the girlfriend of his opponent this week was just a weakling princess that couldn't even get out of Light, he pointed his ARM at Nina with great confidence and laughed with sadistic glee as he threatened to blow her head off.

Whereupon Ryu reacted as expected. As it turned out, Veruni bones broke just as easily as human bones when the Golden Kaiser came a cracking.

In retrospect, Kartikeya probably should have done some research on his opponent too.

[Bardiche]

Vinsfeld >>> Edward

--------

"You spoony bard! You can't beat Vinsfeld!"

"Oh? And why not?"

"He has Pure Ideals!"

"... pure ideals?"

-------

In the end, Edward never showed up to the fight. No one could honestly blame him, because the bard's combat prowess is one of those obscure little things that hardly anyone knows about. In fact, those that attended had come to cheer on Vinsfeld and watch a real bloody slaughter. None of that happened.

Still, there was cause for celebration. Edward had cancelled his appearance in the match to research just what Vinsfeld's Pure Ideals were. Despite his noble goal, the jury had to award Vinsfeld the victory.

And so, while Edward lost the match, he gained the attention of many curious eyes, hopeful that maybe he, the spoony bard, would be able to unearth the truth behind the mystery of the leader of Odessa's ideals.

[Dunefar]

Adell>Mizuki

Wham! Slam! Dodge! Evade! Counter! Counter-counter! Counter-counter-counter-counter-counter!

As the dust cleared, Mizuki and Adell regarded each other. Both were wounded dozens of times over, at the last vestiges of stamina. The next blow would decide the fight. Adell smirked and his fists began to glow with fire...that was Mizuki's chance! She vanished and went for him from behind, moving at the speed of...WHAM! Adell is already there! Flaming fist after flaming fist followed, plummeing Mizuki into oblivion!

It was only later that Mizuki figured out how she lost. With her hair in a towel and gorging on M&Ms, it came to her. No human could have anticipated her attack. That means...!!! Of course! There's only one conclusion that came to mind as Mizuki leapt up, sending chocolate candies in a spray all about. Adell is...a cheater! Well, if he wants to play like that, it just means that Mizuki isn't done with him yet. Oh no, not by a long shot. Surely that demonic strumpet who stays around with him was behind it.

It's time to plan.

[Dunefar]

Yukiko>Jibril

Okay. What happened the last time darkness tried to swallow up Yukiko? Anyone? Yeah, sure, it may work but sooner or later some overpowered silent guy is gonna show up and end things.  At least Jibril will get a speech about finding the truth out of it.

[Dunefar]

Serph>Shiba

Quick review.

Giant plodding lizard vs a guy with a gun and magic.

Hint: Guns fire from far away. So does magic. Shiba meanwhile moves at about the speed a sleepy mountain does. How is he even going to get close to Serph before it's all over? He's not.

[Taishyr]

Renee>Jean

"Okay, now turn up your chest like... so! Yeah, you've got it!" Jean encouraged. "Just the right amount of cleavage showing, too. Excellent!"

"...this is the most humiliating thing ever..." Tony muttered.

*WHACK* "Ow!"

Renee snorted, putting the sword back over her shoulder as Tony rubbed his backside.

"Stop complaining. You were the one that lost the bet with Jean - be glad she's going this easy on you." Renee yawned, before frowning. "Hey, Jean. What was he asking you to do if he won the bet?"

"Surrender the match." Jean said cheerfully. "Oh, yes, you're a natural, Tony! Now, just hold the fans out a bit higher... Yeah, to give up the match."

Renee stood for a moment, before looking to Tony. "That's so sweet!"

"Isn't it, though?" Jean nodded happily.

"I don't know if I should thank you or kill you!"

"... or kill him?" Jean tilted her head, as Tony began sweating.

"Yeah. I was looking forward to our fight - heard a lot of good things about you. Kinda annoying that he'd do that without my permission, you know? Also, stand up straight, Tony!" Renee grinned.

*WHACK* "Ow!"

"Huh. Yeah, that's a good point. But, honestly? I kinda figured that Mana was pretty much game over for me." Jean replied. "So I already surrendered the match. Was gonna tell you earlier, but then I won the bet and kinda figured I'd wait until I had you witness this."

"Fair. ...He does look good in a tutu, doesn't he?"

"You two are total evil." Tony muttered under his breath.

*WHACK* "Owwww!"

"I heard that." Jean replied casually, cracking her knuckles as Tony fell to his knees. "But hey, if you were looking forward to the fight, wanna have a casual spar? 's how I prefer my matches anyway."

"Heh, sounds good." Renee grinned lazily. "How long's he gonna stay like this?"

"A week. He's my cabana boy. Of course, I'm perfectly willing to share with you." Jean chuckled.

"Oooh, you do know how to make me smile!"

Tony looked up queasily from his spot on the floor. "...Total evil."

*WHACK* *WHACK* "OW!"


Landis>Selphie

Evil Selphie was determined.
Evil Selphie was all-powerful.
Evil Selphie wa- wait, what?

-----------------

"oh mi god you're goth just like me that's so hot do you like trains i like trains like to see them crash an burn and everyone suffer cuz like life is suffering and pain and black mascara and clothing and stop poking me it won't do anything and like i've got this gf not girlfriend but guardian force and his name is doomtrain it's not really legal but i can summon it and crash it into people and like it goes boom and bang and then everyone feels emo just like us and it's so awesome how grimdark it is like totally so hey do you like BITGOYSWB i so like them their lyrics about cutting babies into paste like the grimdark corporations do in all the goth stories but i haven't been able to find any of those corporations so i can help them so i guess i'm doing this myself but that's okay because we all die alone and cold like my stuffed bunny he's so cold inside except when i'm sleeping with him but that's okay because he's my bestest friend ever and he's like actually a vampire bunny he drew blood from squall when he tried to touch him it was so rad mr bunny was like rawr and squall was like yipe and now he won't come near mr. bunnicula of the grimdark castle train of our souls and he's like a bunny ninja too cuz no one ever sees him coming but anyway i think lavey was kinda silly with how he interpeted things but that's okay because he was just trying to capture an image of the darkness within us all and anyone who does that is like my bestest best friend of all and there's this one candy bar i really like..."

------

The match was eventually decided by Landis just picking Selphie up and setting her down outside the arena. It's impossible to tell if Freeze actually kicked in or not from his repeated jabs, as she hasn't stopped talking yet; Landis hasn't left himself yet, and is still listening to her.

Apparently he feels bad for her or something.


Beechan>>>Sanae Y

A straightforward fight. Easy victory - a healer vs. a non-healer, and even Beecham's normal pride in not beating up girls somewhat got removed when Sanae called him "Lucia's lapdog."

Yeah, that didn't go over well.

[Yoshiken]

Kanji >>> Gryz

"Wait, how on Motavia did that happen?!"

Titania sighed. "I'm sure I've explained this to you more than enough times already. It's called the Weapon Triangle Advantage."

"But.. there's no table in that triangle! And neither of us are even from your world!"

--

Turns out, Anna forgot to include one thing in all of those tutorials. Lances beat Swords. Swords beat Axes. Axes beat Lances. But, regardless of what planet (or universe) you come from, nothing can beat a table to the head.

[074]

Naoto > Geno


In a column of light, the puppet fell lifeless, defeated.  The Detective Prince, however, looked on confused.

"...huh?  It didn't disappear?"  ...shooting it once simply splintered wood all over the place, as she came to a realization that she never anticipated.

"...it's not a Shadow?  ...strange."

As she was about to exit, a loud...slurred...call came from the stands.

"Naoto-chaaaan!  Hurry up!" a drunken Rise called.  "I'm gonna staart a round of King's Game once everyone's back from their fights!  You're the only one left!"

...the bifauxnen could only sigh, furrow her eyebrows in annoyance, and lower her hat as she walked out of the arena, not looking forward to the upcoming events...

[SageAcrin]

Loki>Arc:

The fierce blows.

The soaring flights.

The horrific flames of battle.

All of these would be seen within three strokes.

---

"...You know, letting some Lights judge a match really did seem like a better idea at the time." Terra noted with a sigh. "I mean, they never get to do anything fun, so..."

"Yes, but just picking three at random has it's downsides." Celes noted grimly, as she looked out at the wartorn scene. "Specifically, the average Light's a freak."

"Yes, but...well, Vaida didn't go along with it. Duessel having a love of golf, I can understand that. Mao having a love for the bizarre, I can understand that." Terra sighed again.

"Okay, maybe it's the Godlike's faults." She noted, as Loki easily made a hole in one(after distantly expanding the hole repeatedly using his Dragon Orb to the side of half the field, while an angry Arc stabbed futilely at him.).

"Yep." Celes agreed.

Ultimately, Arc's lack of high range magic doomed him, this battle.

Ultimately, the bill from the course for repairs doomed Loki. He'd better champ this time. He's not going to have the money to pay for that otherwise.

[Jo'ou Ranbu]

Fei > Nephenee, by Djinn And Tonic.

Two powerful fighters enter the arena from opposite sides. It was looking to be a fierce match. Fei's ether-boosted martial arts were well-known, but newcomer Nephenee was making waves as one of the best Lancers in the league. Who would emerge victorious?

The answer to that would never be known, of course.

As Nephenee entered the arena, she was overcome at the sight of Fei... or more precisely, his incredibly bouncy hair.

You see, no matter how hardened a warrior she may appear, Nephenee has always truly wanted to have bouncy pretty hair. But alas, cursed with flatter hair than even Ryu5, she has taken to wearing a helmet full-time, so at least she can excuse the flatness on helmet hair.

Nephenee's plan was simple - an exchange. She would throw the match if Fei would only teach her the secrets to incredibly bouncy hair. A victory in her mind!

Fei was too much of a softie to say no.