Season 56 Week 3 missing comments

[superaielman]

Fou-Lu>Marino

Black Wizard>Tim

[Taishyr]

Margarete>Robo

Robo didn't have any weak points to snipe.

Robo didn't have any relatives to blackmail, nor anything to be blackmailed with.

And dropping things on him seemed rather pointless...

------

"What do you -mean- you sold him to the Koorong scrap dealer." Yuri asked, beginning to flush.

"What? He had a LethalGun I wanted." Margarete shrugged. "And he kinda looks like scrap, to be honest, so I just had him and Riki drag him off."

"...We did not need the wrath of Blue coming down upon us." Yuri rubbed his head. "You know how little I like dealing with that guy?"

"Already got you covered, big guy." Margarete smirked.

------

"Dear Blue, A Present For You~ Please Enjoy It~"

Blue unwrapped the gift cynically and psychically (his body still occupied fighting off the Lord of Hell). After opening it, he paused.

"Alright, Yuri. You're forgiven this once."

And with that he locked on to the LordofHell with the BFG9000.

"Say hello to my little friend."


Maya>Pamela

"POSITIVE THINKING POSITIVE THINKING POSITIVE THINKING ohgod I'm gonna die gonna die gonna die gonna die" Vayne whimpered, running from the arena, being chased by Pamela.

Riding Groudon. And giggling loudly as she tossed her bear constantly at Vayne, forcing him to dodge and weave constantly as the two left the arena, leaving a smiling Maya to accept the victory.

Angela, frustrated, slowly turned to Magus. "Can we just stop bothering to come to judge these? Yes, Vayne gets picked on by anything with a brain. Congrats. I'm really bloody sick of this, and of seeing Maya pick on him."

Magus shrugged. "I don't make the rules, and... actually, she's got a deal with him, from what I heard."

"...a deal?" Angela raised an eyebrow. "What sort of a deal could he possibly be offered to make him endure this torture?"

"Maya's trying to make him the star of the next Persona game, but for that, he needs to awaken his Persona first. If she fails to do so, he'll get paid... I think she said ten billion yen?"

Angela gawped.

"They've working with him for a month, trying everything they can. Maya just figures the world is ready for a Persona main character that actually talks in the game they star in, and, well, Vayne's a broody teenager, like Tatsuya and that one blue-haired dude we didn't rank, Minoto or something like that."

"... he's ... he's getting ten billion...? HEY, MAYA! MIND IF I TAKE YOU UP ON YOUR OFFER?" Angela yelled out the judging booth. Magus just rolled his eyes.

[Sei]

Mewtwo>False Althena

<i>This is highly degrading for everyone involved.</i> Mewtwo said via telepathy as he scanned the arena. <i>A Pokemon battle?</i>

In the judges' seat, Ness just shrugged.

<i>I take it this is her idea?</i> continued the psychic kitty, indicating the loudly cheering false goddess over at ring-side.

Ness nodded.

"And you're going to lose!" False Althena chirped. "Psychic types lose to Dark types, and a vampire like my Brahms must definitely be Dark!"

Mewtwo just sighed while silently cursing the clout that Godlike champions get in these things. He then looked at the 'Pokemon' he was supposed to face, noting his clenching and unclenching fists, his twitching eye, and his deep frown of displeasure.

<i>Tell you what</i> Mewtwo said to Brahms. <i>Admit that you're a Fighting type and I'll get you out of this mess.</i>

"Deal"

"What!?"

And thus, Mewtwo smacked Brahms with a super-effective blast of Psychic energy, angled just right to launch the lord of the undead out of the ring and straight towards the Godlike Champion. Now, normally, False Althena would have immediately blasted the vampiric projectile off course with her speedy twin rays of electric death but a) she was still reeling from the shock of her beloved Pokemon's unexpected (for her at least) betrayal, and b) she's not in her half-scorpion boss form, and her mundane NPC human form is kinda lacking in the lightning-breathing snake department.

And thus, Brahms landed on her with a great crash. Since our false goddess has no wheels to speak of, the laws of narrative causality made do by having Brahms' Pokeball roll out from them instead.

With one quick surge of power around the Pokeball, Brahms was released back to the wild, and not one to waste time regarding matters involving payback, he immediately unleashed a Bloody Curse on the recovering False Althena for all the humiliation he had to go through in the past weeks.

<i>Never did like the entire capturing aspect of my world</i> Mewtwo muttered as he psychically crushed the Pokeball into a tight wad of metal and threw it over his shoulder.


Chiepoo>Chuck

You know how Chuck typically can't hit the broad side of a barn with that Pile Driver of his?

Now, imagine him trying to hit someone who literally fights with cat-like grace.

[Dunefar]

Kanon > Tosh

It's a classic. A wandering samurai vs a wandering...cyborg? Sure, why not? Anyway, the point is that these two threw down with all they have. Tosh and Kanon went after each other like wild dogs! How does it end? Simple logic. Cold steel lasts far longer than soft flesh.  Sure, Kanon is going to be in need of several healing spells, but Tosh is cut in half.

[VySaika]

Kyogre > Royce

Lyon > Ivan

Weigraf > Oswin

Aisha > Orcha

[VySaika]

Kyogre > Royce

Royce knew she was in hot water with this fight.

She had flooded the judges with requests to turn this contest into something more favorable for her then a straight fight, but was met with nothing but a steady stream of denials.

As the match drew closer and her odds of getting an advantage trickled away, she finally thought 'Dam the odds!' and swore to find some way to turn the tide in this battle!

But alas, her well of resolve was drained away in the face of the merciless whale. With one mighty waterspout, Royce's dreams of victory were washed away in a river of aquatic violence.

As Kyogre floated on to the next round, not even sparing the thought to taunt his fallen opponent, Royce lay in a puddle of despair upon the floor. It was over for her. And not even at the hands of a legendary hero or a bigger and badder boss. Just an overgrown fish who couldn't care less about her if it actively tried.

Life's a beach, ain't it?

Lyon > Ivan

Lyon had this match in the bag for one simple reason. Because he's just flat out stronger? Well, he is, but that's not the reason. Because he has more fans? Well that helps, but also not quite it. Because he's bishier? That's possibly the source of those extra fans, but not really helping in a fight.

No, he wins this match because Ivan beat Opera last round. And the laws of the universe state that it is not possible for that woman to avoid a downgrade pool.

Wiegraf > Oswin

Oswin's signature trait: being covered head to toe in sturdy metal armor.

Wiegraf's signature attack: Lightning Stab.

Metal armor.

Lightning Stab.

You can see where this is going, right?

It really shouldn't have worked, seeing as Wiegraf's swordskills are technically the same element as his sword. But nobody told Oswin that, and apparently that's enough for the laws of comedy to take over and leave the Ostian knight flopping around like a fish after being electrocuted from a single stroke.

Aisha > Orcha

The life of a woman of the cloth is a hard one. Living a life of virtue and piety, always putting your faith and the good of all before your own needs and desires. Always keeping a kind demeanor for those who need your council no matter how bad a day you've been having. Always keeping on guard against perverts who have far more sexy nun fantasies then are healthy.

It's really no surprise that such holy women tend to stick to eachother's company when they have some time to relax. Who else would understand what they go through day in and day out?

As such, nobody needed to ask where Aisha picked up her latest combat technique.

At least she felt a little bad about using it though. Orcha hadn't really done anything to really deserve it and that Coup de Grace will leave him "cha"-ing in soprano for a week.

[SnowFire]

Billy>Sasarai

A priest-off?  Sure, Sasarai's Bishopness may have been more political than religious, and Billy had sort-of lost his faith, but hey, it was enough of an excuse for Sasarai to dare Billy to an evangelize-off rather than a standard duel.  At least that'd avoid Billy's normally-useless Earth Shield which had ruined him.  And even more to Sasarai's surprise, Billy accepted?

Sasarai, being able to summon up a giant Harmonian army who'd be forced to listen to his sermon, figured he had it made.  Of course, he hadn't counted on Billy's late-game Haste spell being handy for going door-to-door quickly.  While the Harmonians snoozed through Sasarai's attempt at a revival speech, Billy left "Have you been SAVED (from the giant bio-weapon god that wants to eat you) " tracts like a champ, covering the entire DL neighborhood in record time.

The moral of the story is...  uh...  don't covet your neighbor's things?  Keep the Sabbath holy?  That's not it.  Well, the least happy onlooker was certainly Falenan bodyguard Lyon, who will now go from nearly-upgrading to Godlike to possibly downgrading to Middle.  Oops.  So I guess the moral is "don't lose to scary damage mages who can be spoiled in Heavy?" 

It'll have to do.

[Monkeyfinger]

Cecilia
Max

-----

Steel against steel echoed throughout the arena as Seifer and Max fought it out. Max was fighting hard, but Seifer's fast, unerring gunblade strikes seemed to be getting the upper hand. One jolt of pain in Max's sword arm, one lapse of concentration, was all it took for Seifer to land a vicious, unchecked blow to the left side of Max's face. As the blood gushed from beside Max's eye, Seifer triumphantly lowered his sword and adopted a victory pose.

Max looked at Seifer like he was retarded, then jammed his sword through the defenseless knight's temple.

"Some of us can keep fighting after that injury. Don't be so quick to assume victory."

-----

"Your little trick with the parasol was a cute way to stop Tir, but the concentrated power of Malice will eat right through it." Gilbert began to tremble. "Try and block THIS!" He knocked Cecilia on her back with Deep Grudge, then brought a Malice Dirge right down on her face.

Cecilia gingerly got up, clutching a necronomicon in the hand which normally holds the holy parasol. "I'm pretty... tough against that kind of attack without the parasol, you know", she said to a stunned Gilbert.

She hasted herself. She healed herself before the exhausted Gilbert could act again. Gilbert, having spent his killer combo and being too worn out to do it again, was unable to do anything that Cecilia couldn't simply heal off. In the longest, most painful fight of his life, he eventually fell.

Killer, deep in his cups, silently watched the torturous beatdown to the end from a bar inside the arena complex. As the gelatinous remains of Gilbert were sucked out of the arena, he quitely muttered to himself. "Glad she never showed up to fight me."

[SageAcrin]

Fou>Marino:

"I dunno. It was kinda disappointing." Marino sighed.

"Well, you didn't show up at all to the match." X noted.

"Yeah, I don't know why the hell you weren't there. Something come up?" Zero asked, curiously.

"Oh, uh, yeah, something came up, tripped and fell down the stairs and had to get repairs." Marino nodded.

"Huh. Wait, I don't see any rep-" "Oh, you know these mages, they're always so good at fixing you up without leaving any marks! Heheh. Well, gotta go!" Marino grinned, and walked out of the room.

"...I dunno about this..." Zero muttered.

---

"Damnit. Dragons are supposed to have <i>great</i> hoards." Marino sighed, as she looked over the pile of clothes, incredibly well crafted equipment, and several rare accessories. "He had a lot of Zenny, for some reason, but I'm not going to <i>that</i> pit of a world to spend it...maybe I'll just dump this on someone stupid and cut my losses." She finished with a sigh.

Ultimately, Marino got several hundred thousand Potch-the only currency she could get for the stuff-and sighed as she now had a bunch of money she wasn't going to be able to spend. Ultimately she just found a money changer willing to change it for about enough money to buy an extremely decadent cake with, which, all things considered, was a pretty good trade up from getting her Soul Rended, wherever that is.

(Of course reploids have no problem eating. Why would you make something that human-like without providing that? I mean, never mind the question of why you would to start with.)

And, all things considered, Krin didn't lose much when he promptly gave everything back to Fou-Lu without question, along with several other objects(mostly previously owned by Godlikes, who presumably he planned on giving still other stolen goods to if they found out.). Which just goes to show, good fences make good neighbors. Or something like that.

Black Wizard>Tim:

Tim tried his best.

He got the wardrobe.

He got the makeup.

He got the beard.

He had it all.

Unfortunately he was eaten by a Black Rabite on the way to the arena.

He tried to pet it, you see.

Which, really goes to show, if you're trying to fool people into thinking you're an Enchanter, you really ought to know more about the source material.