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Author Topic: ToR Round 1 - Pool H  (Read 1343 times)

Excal

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ToR Round 1 - Pool H
« on: March 08, 2011, 06:29:44 AM »
Results

49. Buffy Summers v Burrich, Farseer Trilogy - Breakfast         /IIII
50. Lord Zedd v R2-D2 - Spelling Bee               III/IIII
51. Chocobo v Hong Meiling - Decathalon               IIIII II/I
52. Ryusei Date v Belcoot - Getting Rich Quick            I/IIIII II
53. Jack Frost v Woodstock - Mantracking               IIIII/IIII
54. TimeLord v Antenora, WA2 - Plane Crashing            I/IIIII I
55. Alucard, Castlevania v Jareth, King of the Goblins - Fashion Makeovering   III/IIIII
56. Gary Oak v Odin - Hiding Easter Eggs               IIII/IIIII


Pool H

Match 57

It's amazing what kinds of things people can find to be competitive about.  Blogging is inane, but still frighteningly easy to tally a winner as you simply see which blog gets more hits.  And this time we have some real personalities going at it.

Darth Vader may be a dark lord of the Sith, but that doesn't mean he can't open up and spill his thoughts and feelings on the interweb.  After all, he's got his own blog at http://darthside.blogspot.com/ where he spills his thoughts and feelings.  Or at least did.  Hope his plan to introduce his kid to his boss worked out well for him.

Against the well written and fairly serious sith lord, we have someone who is everything he is not.  A buffoon to his intelligence, a fool to his menace, an incompetant to his skill, and a jack of all traces to his mastery of one.  But despite all that, his life story has captivated people for over a decade and a half.  That's right, Simpson, Homer Simpson, the greatest guy in history!  From the town of Springfield, he's about to hit a chestnut tree!


Match 58

If it exists, there's bound to be at least one person who excels at it.  But what about things that don't exist yet?  In this case, we've got a competition where our two contestants will face off against each other in a sport that doesn't even exist yet.  We don't know exactly what this sport will involve, but I'm assured it'll be wacky, exciting, and possibly even a bit insane.

These are horrible attributes to be applying to a Dwarf, whose efforts are rarely involved in things that don't exist yet, traditionally focussing on things that don't exist anymore.  But Gimli, son of Gloin, is game for doing things which no Dwarf has done before, like going on a long travel expedition with an elf, and teaching his bretheren that it isn't gay if it's with an elf.  This kind of broad thinking should be just enough to let him manage with the ancient dwarven tradition of hitting it with an axe until he wins.  Which may not work by the rules, but probably works by the ratings.

Of course, his opponent is the epitome of wacking, exciting, and possibly a little bit insane.  Also, since she doesn't exist yet either, this may be all the leg up Excellen Browning needs in order to take the day.


Match 59

Jogurts, though individually weak, they breed quickly, until their 1337 numbers can even overcome twinks.  Against these hordes, lone men are 'volunteered' to herd them, getting them across the great plains in time for market.  This is their story.

If any man is an expert at being resigned to suicide missions and somehow surviving them all the same, Sahz is that man.  With his trusty Frocobo at his side, and a legion of snarky passive-aggressive comments on his lips, there's nothing that will make Sahz give up.

But he's up against the cool confidence and crack shot of Revolver Ocelot.  And while Sahz is less likely to purposefully kill his Jogurts, Ocelot is likely to make any, dissappearances, count.


Match 60

Alright, I'll keep this short because I don't know anything about one of the competitors.  However, the competition is pillow fighting.  But the best part is, on one side you've got the EO3 bartender, some chick name of Missy.  On the other hand, you better bow down pansies, because Kornell and his killer swing are taking to the field.  But in this silly contest, will the glory be all his?


Match 61

Dog Grooming, the art of taking a smelling unkempt mutt and making it look like a pedigree hound.

First up we have the illustrious Sherlock Holmes, who is a master of everything he thinks worth doing, and utterly ignorant of anything he deems beneath him.  Which is dog grooming?

Next up is Ike, leader of the Greil Mercenaries.  Who...  has never had a dog, but it may be a skill he'd know.  Also, who knows if he's ever gotten into Laguz grooming, a skill that's almost certainly transferable.


Match 62

This is the way!  Two adventurers will head out with faith.  There they will do the job they are given!  They'll try their very best and...  who will have a good feeling?

Arche likes Tigers!  But not Elves!  But is her Magic a match for legendary dynasty warrior Guan Ping?


Match 63

Basket Weaving is kinda the injoke of this tourney.  After all, why else would it be back, and with a subaquatic element to boot?  Doesn't change that it's still in demand.

First up is one of the first, and memorable, NPCs ever.  That guy at the town entrance who welcomes you to Coneria at the start of FF1.  Given how he has a lot of time spent just sitting there, odds are he's probably got some hobbies, and who knows if Basket Weaving is one of them.

Against him is the unstoppable merchant Taloon, who has sold more stuff than any other RPG Merchant.  Of course, just because he's an ace at buying and selling doesn't mean he has any skill at actually making stuff.


Match 64

And so we end Round 1 with one of the greatest events to exist in this competition.  Puppy Kicking.  As before, the event is simple.  Total Yardage over a period of time is all that counts, meaning that the power of your kick may not matter if the other guy is better at getting his puppy to return to him so he can get more kicks in.

First up is our trapped man, the Admiral Ackbar.  He likely isn't going to be any great shakes at power, but as a high ranking admiral he's probably got it in him to actually do the kicking.  And since he seems to be some kind of squid alien, he might even be delicious enough to dogs that they'll be willing to keep coming back, which is his best shot considering...

That he's up against M Bison, the insane criminal overlord with the super human street fighting powers.  This is one foe who'll be hard to outpower.  Just, it's hard to imagine that this guy will be able to coax the puppies even if he doesn't psychocrusher the little balls of fluff.  That said, for him, just terrorizing them enough that they don't run may be all the advantage the floating bastard needs.


57. Darth Vader v Homer SImpson - Competitive Blogging
58. Gimli, Son of Gloin v Excellen Browning - Excelling at Sports That Don't Even Exist Yet
59. Sahz, FF13 v Revolver Ocelot - Jogurt Herding
60. Kornell v Missy the Bartender, EO3 - Pillow Fight
61. Sherlock Holmes v Ike - Dog Grooming
62. Arche Klein, ToP v Guan Ping - Propositioning (FFT Style)
63. Welcome to Coneria Guard v Taloon - Basket Weaving
64. Admiral Ackbar v M. Bison - Puppy Kicking

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Re: ToR Round 1 - Pool H
« Reply #1 on: March 08, 2011, 06:56:22 AM »
57. Darth Vader v Homer Simpson - Competitive Blogging
Darth Vader was a former emo teen.  Homer's just outmatched here.

58. Gimli, Son of Gloin v Excellen Browning - Excelling at Sports That Don't Even Exist Yet
Honestly I could see this go either way.

59. Sahz, FF13 v Revolver Ocelot - Jogurt Herding
Abstain.

60. Kornell v Missy the Bartender, EO3 - Pillow Fight
I honestly have no idea here.  I just think this is funny.

61. Sherlock Holmes v Ike - Dog Grooming
Strong kneejerk.

62. Arche Klein, ToP v Guan Ping - Propositioning (FFT Style)
What.

63. Welcome to Coneria Guard v Taloon - Basket Weaving
What.

64. Admiral Ackbar v M. Bison - Puppy Kicking
Villain vs. not a villain.

superaielman

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Re: ToR Round 1 - Pool H
« Reply #2 on: March 08, 2011, 03:25:49 PM »
57. Darth Vader vs Homer SImpson - Competitive Blogging- Homer comes from a universe where there is no such thing as ending gracefully. He will literally blog about beer until the sun explodes.
63. Welcome to Coneria Guard v Taloon - Basket Weaving
64. Admiral Ackbar v M. Bison - Puppy Kicking- Pretty obvious.
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DjinnAndTonic

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Re: ToR Round 1 - Pool H
« Reply #3 on: March 09, 2011, 01:12:32 AM »
57. Darth Vader v Homer Simpson - Competitive Blogging - Homer's blog features Dancing Jesus, which is more than enough to convince the internet to read it over a thousand emo teen blogs.
58. Gimli, Son of Gloin v Excellen Browning - Excelling at Sports That Don't Even Exist Yet - I don't even know Excellen, but I get the feeling she would be awesome at this.
59. Sahz, FF13 v Revolver Ocelot - Jogurt Herding - Despite not being named after one, this gunman is better with animals.
60. Kornell v Missy the Bartender, EO3 - Pillow Fight - Kornell busters the pillow into Missy, ending the pillow fight very quickly.
61. Sherlock Holmes v Ike - Dog Grooming - I feel terrible every time I make a statement that boils down to 'Ike seems like he'd be good with animals'... because I always want to follow it up with "...not that I think you're an animal, Caineghis-sir... please don't eat me."
62. Arche Klein, ToP v Guan Ping - Propositioning (FFT Style) - Well, by the more vulgar definition of Propositioning, Arche is actually shown to be notably bad at it, getting turned down by both Cless and Chester (though persistance eventually wins over Chester). Guan Ping is a general who just kind of inherited the title from his family and is really young and inexperienced and they make a note of this in the games... so, anti-voting him based on experience.
63. Welcome to Coneria Guard v Taloon - Basket Weaving - Taloon kicks ass at anything that doesn't involve kicking ass.
64. Admiral Ackbar v M. Bison - Puppy Kicking - Meaning he would be terrible at this event, but don't worry, BIIIIIISSSOOOOOOON!!!!!1 can kick puppies like it was Tuesday.

Luther Lansfeld

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Re: ToR Round 1 - Pool H
« Reply #4 on: March 09, 2011, 05:30:42 AM »
Darth Vader v Homer SImpson - Competitive Blogging
Sahz, FF13 v Revolver Ocelot - Jogurt Herding
Kornell v Missy the Bartender, EO3 - Pillow Fight
61. Sherlock Holmes v Ike - Dog Grooming
63. Welcome to Coneria Guard v Taloon - Basket Weaving
64. Admiral Ackbar v M. Bison - Puppy Kicking- Duh
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Clear Tranquil

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Re: ToR Round 1 - Pool H
« Reply #5 on: March 09, 2011, 09:53:04 PM »
57. Darth Vader v Homer SImpson
59. Sahz, FF13 v Revolver Ocelot
63. Welcome to Coneria Guard v Taloon
 
 
 
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SnowFire

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Re: ToR Round 1 - Pool H
« Reply #6 on: March 10, 2011, 02:00:26 AM »
57. Darth Vader v Homer SImpson - Competitive Blogging
I think there was an episode where Homer made a website, which was a godawful flashing thing with animated gifs that briefly was super-popular but then burnt out.  Anyway, he'd have had a shot in 2005, but nowadays he's your classmate's dad making awkward friend requests on Facebook that you ignore and hope he forgets about in conversation.  This is easy for both emo-Anakin or for the later Vice Chancellor or whatever his title is (I'd read Evil Joe Biden's blog!).
58. Gimli, Son of Gloin v Excellen Browning - Excelling at Sports That Don't Even Exist Yet
I don't know Excellen but this sounds like something they'd both be good at.
59. Sazh, FF13 v Revolver Ocelot - Jogurt Herding
Sazh is actually a pretty amiable guy.  Who can also cast Haste to get the lagging Jogurts to market in time.  Ocelot is awesome but would shoot them 6 at a time, then torture the remaining one.
60. Kornell v Missy the Bartender, EO3 - Pillow Fight
Don't know Missy but I'd be shocked if Kornell loses.
61. Sherlock Holmes v Ike - Dog Grooming
Mycroft's the lazy one.  If Holmes memorizes train schedules and botanical treatises I'm sure he knows about dog grooming.

EDIT:
[9:09pm] *Snowflame* But yeah, Ike washing Lethe sounds like bad fanfic material.
[9:09pm] *Excaliburned* Thanks, I've been trying to avoid thinking on that one.

62. Arche Klein, ToP v Guan Ping - Propositioning (FFT Style)
Normally would anti-vote the more obscure character, but going to run with the character more likely to speak strange stilted English.
63. Welcome to Coneria Guard v Taloon - Basket Weaving
Welcome to Cornernia Guard wins things like "staring contest" and that's about it.
64. Admiral Ackbar v M. Bison - Puppy Kicking
If you're allowed to move and catch up, this is an easy win for Bison, as he can do his spinny thingy.  He only loses if he's stuck in place, where his one kick does tiny knockback followed by the dog running off.
« Last Edit: March 10, 2011, 02:11:38 AM by SnowFire »

Dark Holy Elf

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Re: ToR Round 1 - Pool H
« Reply #7 on: March 10, 2011, 04:34:10 AM »
57. Darth Vader v Homer SImpson - Competitive Blogging: See Snowfire. Homer barely knows what the intraweb is.
58. Gimli, Son of Gloin v Excellen Browning - Excelling at Sports That Don't Even Exist Yet: Probably.
59. Sahz, FF13 v Revolver Ocelot - Jogurt Herding: Abstain.
60. Kornell v Missy the Bartender, EO3 - Pillow Fight: Yup.
61. Sherlock Holmes v Ike - Dog Grooming: I strongly associate dog grooming with well-to-do turn-of-the-century Englishmen. On the other hand, Ike supports two cats, even having a paired ending with one, and zero dogs, so I think we know how this one goes.
62. Arche Klein, ToP v Guan Ping - Propositioning (FFT Style): who
63. Welcome to Coneria Guard v Taloon - Basket Weaving: Actually has skills.
64. Admiral Ackbar v M. Bison - Puppy Kicking: Is a villain. Has clearly displayed kicking powers. Yeah, mismatch.

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VySaika

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Re: ToR Round 1 - Pool H
« Reply #8 on: March 10, 2011, 05:54:40 AM »
57. Darth Vader v Homer Simpson - Competitive Blogging. No matter how much blogging Homer can manage in 30 minutes, it's back to status quo as soon as the episode is over.
58. Gimli, Son of Gloin v Excellen Browning - Excelling at Sports That Don't Even Exist Yet. I think Gimli would put up a fight, but Excellen would have the overall advantage.
59. Sahz, FF13 v Revolver Ocelot - Jogurt Herding. Dunno either.
60. Kornell v Missy the Bartender, EO3 - Pillow Fight. I'm sure there's some rule somwhere about how immodestly dressed women have innate pillow fighting skills. <_<
61. Sherlock Holmes v Ike - Dog Grooming. Ike would manage not to embarrass himself, but Holmes could study up on the subject for a bit then simply dominate. And competetive dog grooming sounds like exactly the rediculous subject that might catch his attention for god only knows what reason.
62. Arche Klein, ToP v Guan Ping - Propositioning (FFT Style). Only generics can do propositions. Guan Ping was a generic officer in every Dynasty Warriors game until 5. He just uses one of those forms, then Arche loses by default. EDIT: unless he was a unique officer in 4, I didn't play that one so wouldn't know. Positive he was just a generic in 3 though.
63. Welcome to Coneria Guard v Taloon - Basket Weaving. And he'll somehow find a way to turn a profit while he's at it.
64. Admiral Ackbar v M. Bison - Puppy Kicking. Bison would get more distance in one kick then Akbar could in ten. He'd also kill the poor thing while he's at it, but the contest doesn't say the puppy has to be alive at the end of it...
« Last Edit: March 10, 2011, 06:14:35 AM by Gatewalker »
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Re: ToR Round 1 - Pool H
« Reply #9 on: March 10, 2011, 07:10:56 PM »
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17sEq7HX2QE  
?

Also just so we're all clear, the frocobo owns Sazh not the other way round  ;-) Regardless Sazh still wins this~
« Last Edit: March 10, 2011, 07:13:20 PM by Clear Tranquil »
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Re: ToR Round 1 - Pool H
« Reply #10 on: March 16, 2011, 07:22:45 AM »
57. Darth Vader v Homer Simpson - Angsty Teen argument wins this pretty damn easily.
58. Gimli, Son of Gloin v Excellen Browning - Normally Gimli would get this, but nobody is better at this than Excellen. Really. Nobody.
59. Sahz, FF13 v Revolver Ocelot - Does he get Frocobo to help? If so, two votes for him.
60. Kornell v Missy the Bartender, EO3 - BOW DOWN, PANSIES. THE (pillow-fighting) GLORY IS ALL HIS.
61. Sherlock Holmes v Ike - Ike tries diplomacy with the dogs. Dogs can't speak. Soren makes fun of them. They attack Soren. Ike defends. Ike doesn't earn their respect because they are NOT gentle giants. Eventually, Ike is forced to either kill the dog, disqualifying him, or even more likely to just forfeit because he can't wash an angry dog. (Alternatively: Sure, why not)
62. Arche Klein, ToP v Guan Ping - Propositioning (FFT Style) Abstain because that's just a pile of "meh" right there.
63. Welcome to Coneria Guard v Taloon - Basket Weaving = Hobby. Guy who spends his entire life doing one thing that does nothing but waste time? Probably a master of every single hobby out there.
64. Admiral Ackbar v M. Bison - Ackbar proclaims the competition a trap, judges disagree, argument ensues. Bison, on the other hand, kills his puppy from killing kicking it so hard. M. Bison is, once again, victorious.


I now demand M. Bison vs. Kornell in ice ballet. Or possibly Flay Ballet. Or possibly Ice Flay. Or some combination of the three.
<%King_Meepdorah> roll 1d999 for "It was beauty...that killed the mage"?
* +Hatbot --> "King_Meepdorah rolls 1d999 for "It was beauty...that killed the mage"? and gets 999."12 [1d999=999]
<%King_Meepdorah> ...
<+superaway> ...Uh oh.
<+RandomConsonant> ...
* +superaway shakes head.