DL Quotes Quiz, Impossible Edition

[SnowFire]

There are three types of quotes: easy ones (for a given group), tough ones, and ones that people have a snowball's chance in hell of getting.  In the process of researching good quotes, you tend to find most in the third category.  This is my chance to burn 'em off guiltlessly.  This is your own fault if you keep reading.

The answers are already posted below; no submissions or scores.  This quote quiz is impossible.  Sources can be anything; RPGs, video games, TV shows, movies, novels, snarky Twitter comments, voices in SnowFire's head, anything, anywhere.  All bets are off.  Even the ones from RPGs might be from obscure Bad Ending #7, or debug mode on, or unused text type stuff.  Make no assumptions about fairness whatsoever.  Games shamelessly feature games SnowFire is more familiar with, too.  I wouldn't be shocked if the median score was, like, 2.

You can post your possible score in reply if you want.  Feel free to lie if you like; maybe everybody will all get a perfect score!  Maybe people will do so well they score better than perfect.  Who knows.


1.
I regret to inform you that the next test is impossible.  Make no attempt to solve it.

2.
A: …Perfection. Your skill…is far superior to mine…
B: You… You must be kidding! For {{NAME}} to fall like this… How could a nobody like that defeat…such a warrior…?

3.
Can you hear them?  The wailing of dying soldiers, echoing throughout the battlefield...  With an incompetent king, a soldier cannot show his true bravery.  Time for you to suffer!

4.
A: What's our purpose in life? Why are we here?
B: We're here to devour each other alive.

5.
You've heard of animals chewing off a leg to escape a trap? There's an animal kind of trick. A human would remain in the trap, endure the pain, feigning death that he might kill the trapper and remove a threat to his kind.

6.
Let me down, {{TITLE}}.  I'm begging you! I'm a human being.  Let me have my dignity back!

7.
You know what? I blame {{NAME}}.  When {{NAME}} was there to fuel my desire to open crates, my life was happy.

8.
SEE souvenirs of {NAME}’s most famous escapades! TASTE culinary delights approved by genuine pirates! HEAR beautiful pirate folk music! FEEL your souls being gently ripped from your bodies by this restaurant of uncompromising EEEEEVIL!!! MWAH-HAH-HAH-HAAA!!!

9.
General {{NAME}} said, "I've never seen anything like this," because he had to sign the ultimate.  He had to sign the ultimate, you know.  He said, "I've never seen anything like this before, as long as I've been in the military."

10.
Mother… Forgive me… I…lied… I stole… And this…is my punishment…

11.
Yo buddy, you want to play Cream-A-Cat.  I know it.

12.
All objects under heaven and earth are his weapon. Watch the topography and take full advantage of it.

13.
KILLING ME WON'T BRING BACK YOUR GODDAMNED HONEY

14.
You said to call you Ten.  Who are you?  Why does it take so long?  I don't understand what is going on.  I don't know who I am or where I am.  I'm all by myself.  Who are you?  I love you too.

15.
Another evil penguin.  Surprise, surprise.

16.
Who needs a girlfriend, when you can have the love of a giant poisonous bug? I feed it a steady diet of garbage so that its bite stays toxic to weak-blooded fools. Its strong mandibles can tunnel deep into the earth, break down walls, and cut people in two before slurping out their tasty innards. Honestly, I hope Mirky eats me when I die. I've never had a truer friend.

17.
Updated my journal.

18.
I was all set to terminate, you know? And this wasn’t like…this wasn’t a game I was playing. I’m not playing…you know, I wasn’t playing chess or poker or anything else. This was, I was, I’d never even thought about…it’s always the best when you really feel this way. But I was…I had no thought of anything else, and these two guys will tell you, I had no thought of anything else but termination.

19.
I realized that the purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure poor reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a little practice, writing can be an intimidating and impenetrable fog!

20.
If the arbiter, which is meant to become one with the Time Devourer cannot neutralize Time Devourer's conflict with other lives when they unites, the resolution well be in Time Devoruer's favor, then the alien darkness shall devour the the dreams of all times. In the other words, as long as arbiter does not exist, the full awakening of the Time Devourer can be delayed indefinitely.

21.
I'm a farmer.

22.
You and I have a rendezvous with destiny…. We will preserve for our children this, the last best hope of man on earth, or we will sentence them to take the last step into a thousand years of darkness.

23.
I want to meet this God guy face-to-face and beat his punk ass down!

24.
Stopped into Chattagnooga, Tennessee
Joined in the county summer jamboree,
Offered them the madness of the truly free.
He caused their crowns to crumble and their armies to flee

25.
*sigh* ...Good... I was so scared...
I didn't think I was gonna make it...
Oh, thank God...
There's a hole in the bag...
I need to close it...but I don't want to touch it... *whimper*
I don't think this is recyclable...
I wonder if the trash collector will take this...
But I... it's not my responsibility...
I don't wanna touch it again...
*sigh*
I want to shower now...
I hope the smell will come off…

26.
No one has EVER spoken ill of my pickles. This isn't over.

27.
The avalanche has already started; It is too late for the pebbles to vote.

28.
Prince {{NAME}}...yeah, so? 
I hate him!  Everyone does.

29.
It wasn’t two bites of the apple. It was one bite. Somebody set a time limit and that was mistake; I said never set a time limit but somebody set a time limit. So when they didn’t meet that time limit they said, “We didn’t get it there”, well, they shouldn’t have set a time limit.

30.
Dishonor can be washed away with success.  Feed your leftover pride to that dog.

31.
The Sun!  Worship the mercy that outshines sick truths!

32.
Ooh-wee!  … is this what it's like to die?  … ooh-wee...

33.
What is it like to chase cows every day?  I wager they bite, the nasty creatures.

34.
From Hell's heart, I stab at thee; For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee.

35.
This overwhelmingly forgettable appearance, generic speech style, and total lack of sex appeal…  {{NAME}}…  Are you an NPC!?

36.
Battle doesn't need a purpose; the battle is its own purpose. You don't ask why a plague spreads or a field burns. Don't ask why I fight.

[SnowFire]

This post intentionally left blank.

[SnowFire]

Answers

...

...

...

1. GlaDOS, Portal.  (Full line was "The Enrichment Center regrets…")

2. Black Knight & Micaiah, Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn.  (PC Black Knight death quote, aka you hacked the game.) ( https://serenesforest.net/radiant-dawn/scripts/game-script/miscellaneous/death-quotes/regular/ )

3. Hifumi Togo, Persona 5.

4. Calvin and Hobbes, Calvin & Hobbes. ( http://thecuriousbrain.com/?p=23446 )

5. Reverend Mother Mohiam, Dune.  (The novel, not the DLer.)  Perfectly sane advice here.

6. Homer Simpson, The Simpsons, "Homer to the Max".  (Title was "Chief")

7. Lord Ephraim (the DLer, not the Fire Emblem character). Name was Laggy. http://www.rpgdl.com/forums/index.php?topic=6750.msg182803#msg182803

8. Murray, Escape from Monkey Island ( name was Guybrush Threepwood. )  (No link…  of course the LP I found skipped listening to the full shpeel from our bouncer at Planet Threepwood…)

9. President Donald J. Trump (name was General Mattis) ( https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2017/04/24/trumps-bragging-boastful-ap-interview-annotated/ )

10. Heather, Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn, death quote. ( https://serenesforest.net/radiant-dawn/scripts/game-script/miscellaneous/death-quotes/regular/ )

11. Some dude, Terranigma.  ( https://www.giantbomb.com/profile/bshirk/blog/terranigma-unraveling-the-mystery/27631/  )

12. Geomancer description, Final Fantasy Tactics (from the third classes video that plays if you just idle around the start screen) ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbm2aOS2Vec )

13. Nicholas Cage, "The Wicker Man" remake.  ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6i2WRreARo  )

14. Pioneer 9, 17776, Jon Bois.  ( https://www.sbnation.com/a/17776-football/chapter-1 )

15. Estelle, LOH Trails in the Sky: SC.  ( https://twitter.com/XSEEDGames/status/908838630763896832 )

16. Goblin Big Beetle flavor text, Age of Wonders III.

17. The Nameless One, Planescape: Torment.  (Well, at least memetically.  He says this quite a lot in-game, in perfect dour seriousness as well.)

18. President Donald J. Trump ( https://www.economist.com/Trumptranscript )

19. Calvin, Calvin & Hobbes. ( https://i.pinimg.com/736x/3d/11/1e/3d111e36da2a5fdd5947a972d7da528b--academic-writing-on-writing.jpg )

20. Niu, the RPGDL. ( http://www.rpgdl.com/forums/index.php?topic=3639.msg88954#msg88954 )

21. A Farmer, Final Fantasy 1. ( https://www.rpgamer.com/games/ff/ff1/info/ff1_script.txt )

22. President Ronald Reagan.  ( http://www.nationalcenter.org/ReaganChoosing1964.html )

23. Kaido, Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Survivor ( https://photos.app.goo.gl/eX14hLefPDdB7wQF3 )

24. The Ballad of Choo-Choo Cthluhu, XSeed's Twitter account. ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lza0--2egl8 )

25. Noel Vermillion, BlazBlue: Calamity Trigger (happens in Arakune's campaign if he loses to her, and she needs to dispose of him) ( https://www.gamefaqs.com/ps3/958720-blazblue-calamity-trigger/faqs/56986 )

26. Hisame, Fire Emblem: Fates ( https://serenesforest.net/wiki/index.php/Fates_Supports/Hisame_Selkie )

27. Ambassador Kosh, Babylon 5, "Believers". ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1GF4Gnb-D0 )

28. http://www.rpgdl.com/wiki/images/7/7d/Whoops.png

29. President Donald J. Trump  ( https://www.economist.com/Trumptranscript )

30. Archer, Fate Stay Night: Unlimited Blade Works, "The Dark Sword Bares Its Fangs".  (Sadly, the context is way dumber than the totally metal episode name suggests.)

31. New World Order lyrics, DL Music Tourney / Granblue Fantasy.  ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TpVxreT7NPU )

32. Mr. Poopybutthole, Rick & Morty, Total Rickall.  (No link.  Spoilers!)

33. Clair, Fire Emblem: Echoes.  ( https://photos.app.goo.gl/6pLQxmkqVJvFotpr1 )

34. Captain Ahab, Moby-Dick.  (I guess Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan would also be acceptable here.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VYPsoxpt0BU )

35. Futaba Sakura, Persona 5.  (name was Mishima) ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8jvgBug2Bc )

36. Black Knight, Magic: The Gathering. ( http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=2088 )

[superaielman]

4. Calvin and Hobbes

9. SNowfire if 9 is the president I am going to boo you.

19. CALVIN AND HOBBES AGAIN

*Dropkicks Snowfire*

[Ranmilia]

Let's see.

1 - Easy
4 - Didn't get, but wow
5 - Got, fairly memorable.
7 - Got, remembered.
8 - Got.  Gives itself away.
9 - Didn't get but should have.
12 - FFT geekery prevails
13 - For the memes
17 - Another gimme.
19 - This one I got.  Very relevant lately.
23 - Got from remembering seeing a screenshot.
28 - Gimme.
30 - Didn't get specifically, but my guess was Nasu.
34 - Everyone gets this, right?  Right?  There's even two possible sources!
35 - Got.  One of the most memetic lines from the most quotable character.
36 - Classic MTG flavor text?  Smells like free points for me.

So 13.5?  Got more than I thought I would. 

[Sierra]

Things I got and things I should've got:

1: I'd never not recognize Portal.
5: Dammit, should've got this. Fear is the mindkiller. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration.
12: Eh, I never use geomancer anyway.
13: Haven't seen it, but everyone recognizes NOT THE MEMES, right?
14: Yeah, that was a cool story.
17: Even the enunciation is seared permanently into my brain.
19: Recognized the quote but couldn't place it. Should dig out my sister's old C&H books, they've been in a box in my room for years.
20: I assumed it was Chrono Trigger. Close enough, I say.
23: I was sure this was Yuri Hyuga.
34: Recognized this due to KHAAAAAN.
36: Sorry man I played blue and white.

[Hunter Sopko]

Heh. Wish I noticed this. Homer to the Max is my favorite episode of The Simpsons. Though you should specify that's Police Cops Homer Simpson, not Homer.

[Aziraphale]

I collaborated with NotMiki in trying to figure out guesses for this quiz. This is more-or-less what we came up with before seeing the answers.

1. Portal - recognizable, I think
2. Fire Emblem 10 - I only know this because I saw it on the website
3. sounds like ...I may have heard something like this...or maybe I’m just imagining such a scene. Maybe The Heroic Legend of Arslan? (NotMiki’s guess)
4. ...I’m not sure I would have gotten this. Devouring each other alive sounds like Digital Devil Saga, and Argilla asks the question in A more-or-less exactly after the events on the ship, but B is not actually one of the answers you can give to that question.
5. This sounded like literature, but I wasn’t able to place exactly what it is...
6. I didn’t know what this could be.
7. What kind of meta-something would have this...? Let’s just guess Team Fortress 2.
8. This certainly seems memorable, but I don’t think I actually encountered this.
9. This mostly made both me and NotMiki think of Catch-22. We both came to this guess independently.
10. Well, this does sound video-gamey, maybe... It sounds really familiar to NotMiki, but he couldn’t place it at all.
11. hmmm... maybe I should’ve had a good guess at this, but I didn’t.
12. Well, it sounds like a character/job description and/or tutorial message. NotMiki guessed FFT Geomancer.
13. a metal remix of Winnie-the-Pooh!?
14. beautiful, but I had no idea what it could be
15. The Legend of Heroes: Trails in the Sky Second Chapter (a follow-up to the penguin boss in the first game)
16. Well. Okay.
17. Good for you! I know there are a number of games where the journal is updated on a regular basis, but I can’t place one with that particular phrasing.
18. no idea.
19. awesome. I’m not sure whether or not I would have gotten this, though...
20. I immediately pegged this as Chrono Cross.
21. I like swords.
22. I couldn’t place this - it does sound to me like the kind of thing one would say to one’s rival shortly before beginning the climactic confrontation...
23. There are a number of video games that this line would seem to fit - NotMiki guessed Digital Devil Saga 2?
24. I dunno
25. Sounds like a visual novel to NotMiki, but we didn’t know which one.
26. Don’t know - Ys 8, maybe? Pickles feature prominently in the plot, according to NotMiki.
27. Have I heard this? I can’t place what exactly it is. NotMiki says “Don’t take suffrage for granite!”
28. Final Fantasy 6 - messing up the opera on the third option. I’ve played the game, but I only actually know this thanks to Djibriel...
29. dunno
30. not sure
31. If only I could be so grossly incandescent...
32. Our random guess was a a death quote in some Fire Emblem game.
33. dunno
34. The first part sounds so familiar, so why can’t I place it???
35. Persona 5 - I think this quote got mentioned in the DL at some point?
36. Magic: The Gathering, Black Knight(? something like that, at any rate) flavor text

[DragonKnight Zero]

Got a half point.

Random attempting-to-be-witty commentary

1. Guessed somewhere from the Portal series.  This is my half point.
4. Seemed familiar but couldn't place it.  Kept thinking it was some competitive game somewhere.
12. I almost never leave the attract mode running long enough to see this.
15. Disgaea series or a Prinny game came to mind.  Otomedius series would be an alternate guess.
19. First guess was a Meeple quote from chat somewhere
20. Thought Chrono Cross though impossible quiz ought to have tipped me off that it wouldn't be so easy.
21. "I like swords" led me down a path but failed to guess so no point.
29. OK, that's sneaky using the same source more than once.
35. uh, Undertale?  What else out there is so self-aware?