"...damnit. I'm still worried." Yuri said to Edge, sighing, as he watched people file into the arena, before Alice's match.
"Man, I didn't think you were this dedicated to her." Edge said, half-questioningly. "When the hell'd this happen?"
"...It's complicated. You know that."
"You go out with Karin, Alice kills you. You go out with Alice, Karin kills you. You go out with anyone else, they both kill you unless you keep it secret but they're too devoted to you to actually hold anything against you. Not that complicated." Edge shrugged. "Which I have to add really pisses me off. Why the hell can't Rydia just beat me up and forget?"
"You know, the only real difference is that she can have a dragon rip you and half, while neither one of Alice or Karin could do that to me. So mostly it's another Godlike perk." Yuri shrugged.
"...Shut up." Edge said simply.
"Anyways, it doesn't mean I don't wish her well or anything like that. She's had...a rough history fighting-" Yuri was cut off by Edge. "Because of us, partially."
"...Shut up. The point is, I'd like to see her win some." "Or covered in mud." "After Zidane did that last time, she threatened to...uhm...remove some things in my sleep if that happened to her again." Yuri said, pointedly not wincing.
"...I guess anyone can get as pissed as Rydia. You know, maybe we shouldn't have...nah, I'm only saying that because I've got pictures of all the fights we've rigged still. Ahhhhh, man." Edge said, sighing happily, as he pulled out pictures of a nearly-completely-naked Marisa.
"...man, you even carry them around?" "Yeah, so?" "Never min-wait, what the hell is that?" Yuri said, stunned, as he watched something strange wander into the crowd.
The strange pink thing, noticing Yuri's stare, waved, said "Hiii!" and proceeded to wander into a seat, accompanied by a massive, mallet-wielding penguin twice his size and a horde of small brown creatures.
"...What...the....hell?" Edge said.
"Oh, good, they're here. Look, you two, there's an amaz-" Brey, dragging a confused Lexis, rushed up to Yuri and Edge's seats. "Them?" Yuri said, pointing to the extremely strange horde.
"Oh, you've seen them. You should have seen the others. I swear, it's incredible! We've never seen anything like this! It's fant-" "...You sound like Lexis, Brey." Yuri cut him off.
"...Oh my god. I do." Brey chopped off, blushing.
"Hey!" Lexis yelled. Brey, ignoring him, went on. "Ah, it's just...well, it's a long story. You know the rules of the multiverse, right?"
"Sure. Everyone thinks it's fiction, but in actual fact, people that are drunk or high enough see other worlds and write stuff about it. That's why Jecht has that hit series of novels now." Edge said, nodding confidently.
"What? No, that's completely ridiculous." Brey said. "Well, the part about Jecht's Harlequin novels and being really drunk while writing them is true, but besides that..."
"...I...it sounded good?" Edge stammered, as Yuri looked at him.
"No, the multiverse simply exists and things synthesize through. Smart people make huge amounts of money finding the occasional storybook of another world, etc. Then Jogurt..."
"Jogurt." Yuri and Edge stated blandly, staring at Brey.
"Well, that's the official story. Who really knows? At any rate, the multiverses were pulled together here. With some rules about who gets in. Again, no one knows what... At any rate, another universe broke through recently, owing entirely to thirty people or so hanging on very tightly to Princess Peach or some such." "Kink-Ow!" Edge winced, as Yuri slapped him.
Brey ignored the comment magnificently. "Ike mentioned something about a lot of liquor being passed around by some guy named Walio or something, that day. Some celibration up on a cliff somewhere after a fight... At any rate, an illegal cast broke through. Who knows how long whoever it is gets rid of these things will take to get rid of them. Probably forever, considering the Profound Darkness keeps randomly ruining matches and no one seems to care. This is tame in comparison. They're causing quite a stir."
"When the hell is this match going to start, anyways?" Edge asked. "You've been talking for 20 minutes." "Oh, they're waking up Deis, so she can judge." Lexis answered for Brey, snapping out of his intent study. "How many has she killed?" "Seven." He answered absently, and went on. "I think they call the pink thing a Kirby. I'd heard about this in some obscure errata. Something to do with some monsters that appeared through a window of some kind and were defeated it. I don't recognize the others, though."
"So what's it's gimmick?" Edge asked. "Eats things." Lexis replied, still focused on writing notes about the strange hoard of newcomers. "Eats things?" "Anything within about three times it's size or so." "Huh. Go figure."
Edge smiled. "I have a pl-" "He can't eat the clothes off people, I don't think." Lexis noted. "Damnit!"
---
An hour later, the match finally got underway.
The deathtoll from waking Deis currently stands at 37 for the day and 722 lifetime.
Alice and Sheena traded blows, as bible met blade in a strange and disconcertingly graceful dance, as Sheena's magic met Alice's in an ordinately flashy conflagration for Middle.
Yuri bit his fingernails.
"You know, though. It really is a shame." Edge noted, as he glanced over to one side, as Kirby happily clapped at the match. "There ought to be some way we can make use of someone that eats things."
"You always want to make use of...every..." Yuri trailed off, as Sheena's lightning blasted Alice off her feet. Dazed, she slowly got up, only to see a laughing Sheena walking towards her.
"That's it. Edge, cover me." Yuri said.
"Hu-" Edge said, as Yuri bodily launched himself.
Towards Kirby.
Before anyone could react, Yuri had lifted the pink puffball high over his head, and tossed him into the arena.
"...okay, what the hell. That's the sort of thing I'd do, Yuri." Edge said, disgusted. "Seriously, you didn't think that through at al-Hey, why are these brown things and penguin glaring at me? Hey! Stop throwing the brown things at me, you stupid pen-OW!" Edge said, as a horde of Waddle Dees descended upon him.
Dedede had been paying attention to the conversation.
He knew who came up with the stupid plan.
---
Kirby was puzzled.
Why had he been thrown?
On the one side was the girl who made all the pretty lights.
On the other side was the guy that made all the pretty lightning.
Sure, Kirby knew it was a fight, but he didn't really care much about that.
He could get a closer view this way! He happily sat down, directly between the two.
Unfortunately, Sheena, not known for in-depth planning, figured that a pink puffball thrown between him and his opponent was a definite threat.
Especially if Yuri was throwing it, and Edge was nearby. Any second now, it would probably transgender him, pull off all his clothes, and teleport him to Shana's bedroom.
So, he did the first, and only, stupid thing he managed to this match, after a close battle.
He tried to kick Kirby out of the way.
---
"So, he eventually spat Sheena out?" Yuri asked, curiously. "I mean, I don't hate the silly kid. Edge was right, it was really stupid..."
"...Spat, something like that, yes." Brey shuddered involuntarily. "At any rate, Kirby's been happily electrocuting random trees to get the fruit down, and the judges have awarded Alice the win, since "Interference by a Duelling League non-resident." turns out to technically not be covered. When they tried to figure out what to do, they realized it'd take a few years to settle. How's Alice?" He added, curiously.
"Let's just say what Karin doesn't know won't hurt her, and leave it at that." Yuri smiled. "Get the feeling I'm forgetting something though."
---
"Enough fire yet?" Jecht asked curiously, as Kirby electrocuted down yet another tree, clapped at his own lightshow, and happily munched on baked apples.
"...eh, good enough. I guess Yuki took that one. Not that anyone cared. Eweeeheeeheee!" Kefka laughed.
---
"...damn...you...YUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!" A battered, bruised Edge screamed into the night, from his position up a tree, as hundreds of Waddle Dees stared up at him.
Dedede simply chuckled and munched on some chocolate cake.
This new place had some remarkably good cooks.
It would be foolish not to come here more often...
