One remained. One final, vile bitch remained to be slain.
The roll call came in:
"I am a giant bear, protecting people at night from murderers!" exclaimed Andrew.
"I'm the reason the dodo is extinct" claimed the one called EvilTom.
"I've returned from the dead...with a subpoena!" called the distinctly dead-sounding voice of Ciato.
"I'm a fat snobbish prince!" called out Meeple, further adding, "Damnit, why does my role sound so weak here, even compared to all the others?"
"And I'm...uh...Ricky Martin!" Dhyer exclaimed.
The group stared.
And stared.
"Ricky Martin?!" cried Yakumo. "That sounds like a girl to me! Get her!"
As the group jumped the one called Dhyer, a terrifying shriek arose from his body. His visage melted into that of the final, most certainly evil person in their midst - Colbie Caillat, who immediately broke into what can only be deemed as the horrifying combination seventeen tortured cats screaming through a meat grinder in the bahamas being run by thirty deaf kids watching The Passion of The Christ while dancing Lord of the Dance. The sound tore into the souls of the remaining heroes, debilitating them.
"Fools!" the vile woman cried. "You shall learn the true meaning of terror when I'm done with you! You'll be extras in my next music video! You'll suffer for all eternity!"
A collective scream from the disabled group was drowned out by the awful scat. They were helpless before the terror of the vile siren's song.
But, as is typical deus ex machina, a light of hope shone out from the sky! Though faint, there was...a shadowy figure, flying towards the disabled group. The horrid bitch continued to sing as the shadow grew larger and closer. As her song reached the high point, the shadow echoed throughout the void:
"And baby said...DIE!"
And on the spot, Colbie Caillat disintegrated into nothing.
The group of heroes, battered and worn, looked up at their saviour, the all-mighty Goblin King. Bowing down, they gave respect to the greatest hero the world had ever known.
Epilogue
Dean Venture (Tai) - After joining with David Bowie, he assisted in defeating the vile Zombie Tesla like any Venture would - jumping up and down and calling for Brock Samson to help him. After this victory, he returned to his brother, father, guardian and robot and continued on his adventures, accomplishing nothing, as usual.
Chuck Norris (EvilTom) - After roundhouse kicking Zombie Tesla in the face, Chuck Norris continued to make a name for himself. When he finally disappeared from the face of the world (obviously leaving to kill more people on other planets), there were exactly 65535 Chuck Norris facts in existence.
Seven Bundy (Yakumo) - Sadly, after the defeat of Zombie Tesla, Seven Bundy once more faded into obscurity, just the way he was meant to be.
Zombie Cochran (Ciato) - Zombie Cochran went on to once again, successfully defend OJ Simpson with his newly patented M. Night Shyamalan defense.
Prince Charmles (Meeple) - After the battle with Zombie Tesla, Prince Charmles' actual use in saving the world legitly brought him true fame, and several women eventually came wooing him. Yes, PRINCE CHARMLES GOT THE CHICKES.
Iorek Byrnison (Andrew) - Iorek, newly materialized in the real world, proceeded to maul the executive producers of The Golden Compass movie for butchering the book on the big screen. President Hilary Clinton presented him with a medal of honour subsequently for his heroism and bravery and defense of decency.
David Bowie - The great Goblin King had many more adventures, but those are better saved for another time...
So yes, wonderful playing from everyone. More to come!
