No, this isn't a topic about deposing Super. I've been thinking for a while about getting Hatbot's stock of replies updated, and due to lack of time I figured I could open it up to suggestions. There are several different types of responses he's got:
- Answers: these are replies to the standard "Hatbot, x?" type of question. Unabashedly stolen from a list of magic 8-ball responses; new stuff is welcome, although I can't see expanding this too much. <nick> refers to the person asking the question.
"I'd tend to think so, <nick>.",
"Yes, <nick>.",
"I'm not sure. Can you repeat the question, <nick>?",
"Without a doubt, <nick>.",
"I tend to doubt it, <nick>.",
"As I see it, yes, <nick>.",
"I'd count on it, <nick>.",
"I'm not sure. What do you mean, <nick>?",
"I can answer that, <nick>, but are you sure you really want to know?",
"It is decidedly so, <nick>.",
"I don't think you want to know, <nick>.",
"Very doubtful, <nick>.",
"Most certainly, <nick>.",
"Absolutely, <nick>.",
"I have a headache. Ask me later, <nick>.",
"Most likely, <nick>.",
"Not right now, <nick>. Can it wait until later?",
"My reply is no, <nick>.",
"I think so, <nick>.",
"Don't count on it, <nick>.",
- Replies: These come up when you simply say something to Hatbot, i.e. "Hatbot, x."
"I couldn't agree more, <nick>.",
"Whose stash did you raid, <nick>?",
"If you say so, <nick>.",
"You've got to be kidding, <nick>!",
"Are you sure, <nick>?",
"That's just plain impossible, <nick>!",
"You never spoke a truer word, <nick>.",
"Where did you come up with THAT gem, <nick>?",
"I'm thinking trained dolphins, <nick>. Lots of them.",
"Pfft, as if I care.",
"And on an unrelated note, you won't shut up, <nick>.",
"I see. And how does that make you feel about your mother, <nick>?",
"Uh-huh. Does this dress make me look fat, <nick>?",
"Well, I'll get right on that, <nick>. Tomorrow.",
- 6 W's. Questions containing the words "who", "what", "when", "where", "why", and "how" all have their own individual set of responses.
Who: (<random> indicates a random person currently in the chat)
"It's definitely <random>, <nick>.",
"I'm not sure, but I think you're referring to <random>, <nick>.",
"Wasn't that <random>, <nick>?",
"You may be talking about <random>, <nick>. I'd talk to them privately about that.",
What:
"42.",
"Huh? Were you talking to me, <nick>?",
"The answer is blowing in the wind.",
"I can give you an answer, but I don't think you really understand the question, <nick>.",
"Personally, <nick>, I wouldn't have made my father wear the wedding dress, even if I DID win the... Wait, what was the question?",
"If I were you, <nick>, I'd start asking better questions. Things like, \"Who got to my breakfast first?\" along with \"How much am I willing to pay for the antidote?\"",
When:
"On Decemberweenmas, of course!",
"I think that's next Saturday, <nick>.",
"In precisely <random time>.",
"Do you really think you should be asking me that right now, <nick>?",
"That happened yesterday, <nick>. Get with the times.",
"The world will come to an end first, <nick>. Count on it.",
"Time is but an illusion, <nick>. Teatime doubly so.",
"Hmm. I'd have to say NOW NOW NOW NOW DO IT NOW WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WAITING FOR, <nick>?!",
Where:
"Somewhere on GameFAQs. Try the FFTSB, <nick>.",
"Behind the sofa. I think. You look first, <nick>.",
"In the back of the fridge. Watch out for the baked beans, <nick>, I could have sworn they were moving earlier.",
"The far side of Mars. No, really, I'm serious, <nick>!",
"I don't know. Why don't YOU answer the questons for a change, <nick>?!",
Why:
"Because.",
"The earth exerts a gravitational force of 9.8 m/(s^2), which in turn accelerates any object... wait, what was the question again?",
"Why indeed?",
"Why not?",
"I don't think you could comprehend the answer to that, <nick>.",
"Because I said so, <nick>, and I know better than you. (Which isn't saying much...)",
"That's what it says right here, <nick>.",
"You know what, <nick>? Bored now.",
How:
"How am I supposed to know? I'm just a shoddily constructed program, and you expect me to know that, <nick>?",
"I don't do science questions, <nick>.",
"That answer still lies beyond the ken of mankind, <nick>.",
"I could tell you that, <nick>, but then I'd have to kill you.",
"The key element is a spoon, <nick>.",
"You're asking me, <nick>? You really must be desperate.",
"Ask me when I care, <nick>.",
"You know, <nick>, when I was your age we didn't HAVE problems like that.",
"Just give up, <nick>. Just give up.",
If you've got any ideas or suggestions to add, feel free to toss them in; if not, feel free to wonder what the hell I was on when I first put the bot together and move on.
