"Ooooh, I'm gonna rock until I roll
I'm gonna roll until I rock
And then I'm gonna checka e-maaaail."
Dear Strong Bad,
I was wondering if you'd be interested in helping me run a quiz for my friends. I was thinking of giving them a list of quotes from your show and seeing if they can guess the characters that said them -- you know, like a mix and match type dealie. I think it would be pretty fun. Could you help me out?
Crapfully yours,
Lance"Ugh. Okay, first of all, "Lance" is way too cool a name to waste on a burger-flippin' dork like you. I'ma call you…Percival. Percival Utterbunk McGetsalottawedgies III. Yeah, that sounds pretty accurate. Secondly, the thought of you actually having friends makes me want to throw up, spew, upchuck, vomit, toss my cookies, and hurl all at the same time.
Anyways...create a quiz of awesome quotes, eh, Percy? That doesn't sound like such a bad idea. I mean, I'm always saying all kinds of awesome and cool and rock-you-in-the-face-with-an-electric-guitar-made-of-money words of wisdom and one-liners. My mouth is a gold mine, man. There have already been, like, tens of dozens of documentaries and videographies made on my super cool vocabulary. Like, ones that were shown on TV even.
But then again, the quiz wouldn't be very hard if you already knew that all the quotes came from my awesome mouth. Wouldn't want to give you slackers any more reason to loaf around. So I guess I better throw in a couple quotes from some of the other losers I hang out with just to spice things up a bit.
Okay, so here we go, Percy's totally-not-imaginary-at-all "friends." I got thirty quotes here from me and all the other not-me characters on this here Homestarrunner.com website. All you gotta do is match up each quote with the character what said it. And make sure you're specific too! Like, if there's a quote from old-timey 1930's Homestar, you gotta say that it's from him specifically and not just "Homestar." The guy or gal who identifies the most quotes correctly gets either a high-five or a free makeout session with me. Hopefully a girl wins. Mmmmm...makeouts.
Also, just so we're clear on somethin', I went ahead and fixed all of the characters' little speech impediments and idiosyncrasies. Keeping them in would have just made them way too obvious, y'know?"1.) "The King of Town's gone mad with power! He's trying to eat The Cheat!"
2.) "Meh, Strong Bad. Meh."
3.) "Hide some in your pocket for secret eating."
4.) "Whoa, no sir! Heck no at all!"
5.) "People like you don't even eat pandas!"
6.) "Yeah, I figured I'd just cut up some Iceberg lettuce, throw some tomatoes on there, maybe a little Catalina dressing. Nothing fancy, nothing fancy."
7.) "All you gotta do is shimmy-shake a little bit to the left, and if time permits, shimmy-shake a little bit to the right."
8.) "To me, this is something that losers would do.”
9.) "Homestar's always trying to give me the ol' relish-foot."
10.) "I don't wanna eat a guitar."
11.) "Shut up, Marzipan."
12.) "For some reason, I thought you guys liked hush puppies."
13.) "I'm feeling much better now, but I still can't feel my legs."
14.) "I bet freaking Strong Sad is plain couth."
15.) "The Cheat is one fine-looking young man.
That is an ugly bird."
16.) "One of them said they'd buy me lunch, but I don't see nobody taking me to Chick-Fil-A."
17.) "I told you you'd never amount to anything. I'm not even your real father!"
18.) "You've got more infectious diseases than any other vermin here!"
19.) "Does anybody here know if it is either illegal or unethical to wanna eat yourself?"
20.) "You keep your chappy thong to yourself, mister."
21.) "Well hello, chocolate cake."
22.) "This dinner party is top-dollar."
23.) "And that's how I almost died the fifteenth time."
24.) "What do you think this is, you little placemat? A diaper show?"
25.) "I'm a website!"
26.) "Ooooooh...I should eat a pony." (There are two correct answers to this one; you just need to guess one of them.)
27.) "I'm thankful that my hat is wearing a belt!"
28.) "If I had thumbs, I'd be sticking 'em up my armpits right now!"
29.) "Hey Reggie, is that rhinoceros around?"
30.) "Aw crud-crap. My skin flesh broke."
"By the way, make sure you send your answers to ol' Percy over there. Posting 'em here would be pretty stupid since then everyone else could just copy your answers. Now I'm all for cheating on a quiz, but you gotta do this one on your own, y'hear? And don't go looking 'em up on that new-fangled Interweb thingy neither. I swear, the loafing just never stops with you people.
Anyways, you got a week to send in your answers...so you got until March 7th. And just in case you forget to send in your answers cuz you got distracted by the Thnikkaman or something, I'm gonna give you bums a reminder before the deadline too.
So go on and give it your best shot. Just make sure you don't slack off and send in your answers too late or anything. Otherwise your message might get..."
