Fou Lu > Malik
The Dragon-God-Emperor eyed his opponent with a rather bemused expression, "And what purpose does thy presence here truly serve?"
Malak Galthana just shrugged and hefted his favorite stick, "Well, they couldn't find your real opponent, and there's alot of people out there paying to see you massacre some scrub, so I'm the stand in."
Now Fou-lu was honestly a little confused, "And thou hast agreed to play this unenviable role...why, exactly?"
"Well, the pay is pretty good and at least I'll be able to say I've been in a Godlike match. Even though the loss is going on his record, not mine."
Satisfied with the answer, Fou-lu transformed and proceeded to do exactly what you would expect.
Ike > Max
Ike greeted his opponent as he entered the arena, "Hey, good job with Middle last season."
A bit relieved to find his first match back in Heavy would be a friendly one, Max smiled and nodded, "Yeah, thanks. So, you ready?"
Taking a couple of warm up swings with Ragnell, Ike nodded, "Anytime."
A few passes later, Max struggled to pick himself up off the ground where he was flung by his opponent's brutally powerful strikes.
Seeing the fight was as good as over, the mercenary captain sheathed his sword and made his way out, calling back over his shoulder, "Not too bad. Welcome back to Heavy. And try to stick around this time, alright?"
Cid > Odin
As Odin was preparing himself for the match, he heard a very familiar...and very unwelcome voice behind him.
"Here, use this!"
Forcing a smile, Odin tried to wave off the weapon being offered to him, "Ah, thanks but I'll pass. That's not really my fighting style, you know?"
The Allfather frowned as he held out his mop, "What do you mean? It's up to you to defend the good name of Odin, so I'm trying to help you out here. Go on, take it!"
Odin started to refuse again, but the sight of Freya giving him the evil eye made him rethink that idea, "Uh...alright. Thanks..."
The god turned janitor slapped him on the shoulder, "Attaboy! Now get out there and kick some ass!"
Holding in a sigh, Odin trudged out into the arena...
- - -
In the stands, Odin crossed his arms and cast a displeased expression over what he saw in the arena. Namely the soldier who shared his name getting the snot beat out of him by a mere pilot. "And to think I entrusted him with the power of the Mop. I should have known that no mortal could use it's full power."
Long Chan Chan > Grobyc
Grobyc spelled backwards is Cyborg.
Long Chan Chan spelled backwards is Nahc Nahc Gnol.
No, I'm not really going anywhere with this, I just thought that Nahc Nahc Gnol was funny to type. It's funny to say too! Go on, try it!
Anyway, if kung-fu movies have taught us anything, it's that technological enhancements are never a match for true old school mastery of martial arts. So L.C. Chan grabs Grobyc by his laser hair and whoops his ass good or something. There might be a ladder involved somewhere, his name IS Chan afterall.