Missing comments- Updated for week 4's results

[superaielman]

Klein>Thantatos

[superaielman]

Harley>Raven

Rank cowardice. Fear. Backed into a corner. No escape.


Harley may look like a Zebra, but he's a rat in spirit. Bad things happen when you corner him, as proven by Raven. Well, what's left of him. All the physical evasion in the world doesn't do squat against panicky fire magic.

Korgan>Dylan


RAGE. Thrust. Stab. Block. Avoid. Counter. Strike.

Pivot. Spin. Swing. Miss. Damn. Slash. Deseperation. Press. Thrust. Sweep low. STAB. It's time!

Finishing Strike, Violent Rage!

Life left? NO!

Slash. Slash. Slash. SLASH. SLASH.

Nothing left. Slash. Arms heavy. Alicia... Slash.

Slash. SLASH. SLASH.

*Thud*
-------------

Ashley>Marienne

Despite his fancy titles, there's a few risks Ashley won't take. Like being upshirt of Marienne. The hideous freak may not be able to match Ashley's vaunted skill chains, but the image of her underroos are enough to burn his eyeballs into ash, let alone the hideous fate that awaits him when the freak actually -touches- the then defenseless Ashley.


A call to a friend in the DL police department is all it took to handle the matter. You'd be amazed at how long Fuse could keep sometime tied up with pointless paperwork and stupid  legalities. Long enough to miss a fight? Well, Ashley's eyeballs are safe and so his record, which is all that matters.


Two heavily armored soldiers grimly battling to the death. It's the norm across countless battlefields and various DL matches over the years.

What was not normal was the two soldiers in the ring not drawing their weapons, just staring at each other. More shocking was Harken dropping his weapon and singing.


"You'll feast on beans and rotten hay
And a horses hoof come your naming day"

The Soldier from Alliahan

"You'll sweat and bleed 'till you grow old
And your only gold will be dreams of gold"


The two dropped weapons and sung as one, in a tone that spoke of countless letdowns and setbacks.

"If you go to be a solider
If you go to be a solider!"


The crowd sat in stunned silence at the words. The Soldier of Alliahan, clearly bested in song, shook his spear at Harken and left the arena without another word.

---

As Harken explained later to the fans "Us soldiers have to stick together and avoid silly fights like these. And a win is a win!"

[Lance]

Boy vs. A-Tur:

Being a dog-lover himself, Boy knows just how to treat man's best friend.  He entered the match not with his usual assortment of alchemy ingredients, but with a satchel full of chew toys, frisbees, rubber balls, milk bones and Alpo.  What, you think that just because he's the divine servant of Fou-Lu, A-Tur doesn't enjoy all the things that most other dogs love?  The "match" involved lots of fetching, tail-chasing, belly rubs and huggles.  Yes, I said huggles.

Boy was ultimately given the win, but that's not the main point here.  The important thing is that Boy ended making a new friend and A-Tur found a master that wasn't always telling him to go beat up generic heroes and level cities and whatnot.  They both win in their own way.  And if that doesn't tug at your heart-strings, I don't know what will.

     

[Jo'ou Ranbu]

Julius > Benjamin

Deis and Opera aren't the only women that thrive in the subject of manharem abuse. Excellen Browning, like those ranked lushes, has quite a knack for such things. However, she doesn't have the ideal companions for such antics. So, she had to settle with... Princess Ariel of Atlantica, of all people, to help her judge the match between Julius and Benjamin - a wet T-shirt contest, of course.

Things didn't go that well, though. Julius and Benjamin didn't even know what a T-shirt was, so, the moment they got drenched by Dumbo's water hose, things went slightly awry. Julius' robe was so soggy that he looked suspiciously like a drowned yorkshire by the end, and Benjamin entirely rusted.

Dissatisfied by the results, miss Browning just gave the win to the one who looked less like a copper statue and went hunting for a few fabled pieces of erotic pottery that seemed to be hanging around after the DL's last week arena matches. Maybe she'd have better luck then.

[superaielman]

Week 2 missing comments up.

[Sei]

Alakazam > Jango

You know how Psychics are known for bending metal spoons?

Well, think of a Reploid as a really big spoon.

[Jo'ou Ranbu]

Bahamut > Mint

A mighty dragon.

A princess bent on world domination.

We all know how that's bound to end up.

In fact, it ended up as predictably as it could. With a bit of talking, Mint convinced Bahamut to join her in the endeavor of world domination in exchange for forfeiting the match to the dragon. It was completely worthwhile, though: riding dragons is fun, and successfully dominating entire universes as the fancy strides is even better.

Charring the entirety of Guardiana and Runefaust with Megaflares is, of course, a nice bonus.

[superaielman]

Mr S is a brilliant old teacher, wise and powerful. His speeches are smart, to the point, and well thought out. Remedi creates entire universes out of thin air.

Whelp.

There's the whole problem with Alpha being strong enough to level most Godlikes in a hit as well.
---

[superaielman]

Goblin vs Lickick. What can you say about that kind of fight?!

Nothing apparently. Because literally no one showed up for this battle of the titans. It was a six hour masterpiece of combat, with the two leveling blows at each other that wouldn't have phased Jogurt, followed by feeble attempts to evade the blows that would make an FE Axeman laugh. To these valiant little fighters, it was a chance for a victory- not something that happens every day for them. 

When Goblin landed the final blow, he lifted his poor tired head, waiting for the adoration of the crowd. Surely they came in waves, hearing what a great fight this was...

Nothing. Not a single person had come to see the Goblin succeed. What was all that fighting for?

---

When the cleaning crew came in to sweep up the dust and trash from the arena, they found a tiny little Goblin crying in the middle of the arena.


-------------------------

[AAA]

Baofu vs. Ciato

Baoful's just better. Better damage, better versatility, better everything. Really, the only thing Ciato has going for him in this fight is that he probably won't get cancer from second-hand smoke, being a Mystic and all.

Of course, all the other various nasty things Baofu can do with his Persona takes care of that. But it still counts for something, right?

[superaielman]

Missing comments are up.

[Sei]

Salade > Jinx

Wishing to show the techniques he's learned since his defeat against Mario, Jinx jumped many times higher than his height and landed on Father Salade's head with a mighty stomp.

Unfortunately, since he lacked Mario's huge boots and his, you know, mass, all he did was mess up Salade's hat, an action that the priest did not take lightly and responded with a punch that sent Jinx rocketing out of the ring and through several arena walls.

[superaielman]

Updated for week 4, grab a few etc etc.

[Meeplelard]

Bloodbane>Fereydoon

Fereydoon had a good chance to win this fight...except one minor aspect...

Despite all his efforts, studying up on his opponent, and power at his disposal, there was nothing he could to do protect against Gravity Blessing.


Zero>Arcana

Zero: Robot built by a certain mad man for rampant destruction somehow turned good, and has saved the world from greater evils on numerous occasions.
Arcana: Average Einherjar who has been sitting inside of a Valkyrie's soul for several hundred years.

Zero: Wields a one of a kind Beam Sword that is highly praised, and with skill to match.
Arcana: Shoots arrows from your standard Medieval Bow...she can light them on fire though!

Zero: Can Upgrade himself to be far more bad ass by turning his armor Black, which also makes him resist fire, and allows him to build damage up to dramatic levels.
Arcana: Can Heal.

Zero: Has the power of horrid voice acting on his side in at least SOME fashion.
Arcana: Does not.

The victor is pretty clear when you add up all the points, really.


Mist>Nimufu

Mist is the exact kind of opponent Nimufu fears.  No, its not cause Mist has high Resistance.  No, its not cause Mist has evasion.  And no, its not cause Mist can counter either.

Its cause Mist doesn't fall into the category of "Big French Frog" or "Cowardly little boy."  As such, the end result is naturally she panics and flees the scene and Mist wins the easiest fight of her life.

Edit:

Balthier > Goddess

There are many ways you can analyze this fight.  However, the simplest solution is always the best.

In this case? Guns tend to kill woman who don't wear much in the way of armor.  Balthier has a gun, Goddess doesn't even wear clothing.  I think the outcome of this fight is simple.

[superaielman]

HATFEST 08!

THE LATEST AND GREATEST IN SUPERMEGAAWEOMSEMAGICAL HAT CONVENTIONS IS CURRENTLY HAPPENING RIGHT NOW IN THE NOT RANKED ARENA. MITHRA'S GREAT POINTY HAT AND MOHS'S SUPER DOME TOPPER BATTLE IT OUT FOR FELT COVERED SUPREMACY.

MITHRA'S IN THE LEAD.. BUT WAIT! THE JUDGES TAKE OFF POINTS FOR THE USE OF ORGANIC ANIMAL LEATHER IN MITHRA'S HAT AND IT BEING OUT OF DATE BY SEVERAL CENTURIES! OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!


MOHS WINS MOHS WINS MOHS WINS

---

Mitsuru woke up and looked around. Right, she was in the NR Middle Arena stands.. and Mohs/Mithra was still going. Somehow. The fight was still going on, and... huh? Mitsuru looked at the giant results scoreboard hanging on one side of the arena, and saw that she had slept past her fight. Yawning, Mitsuru flipped a coin. It landed heads.

With a shrug, she blasted Mohs clear out of the arena both to vent her annoyance and end the slapfight.

And then to be really mean, she blasted poor Mithra anyway, denying him even a moral victory over his foe.

-----

Axel raised his hands in the air. He had won! Sure no one had showed up for his fight besides one bored looking superboss judge, but it was a win.

This catapult him back to fame!

"Uh... Axel Baby.. the camera is out of film."

The resulting shriek earned Axel a brutal beating from Ozma and not a bit of relief from his frustration.

[Pyro]

Klein > Thanatos

A battle of light and darkness. Good and evil. Righteous and vicious. Magiks both virtuous and vulgar clashed.  In the end, light triumphed, and peace was restored to the world.

And so Klein returns to his daily routine of jealous beatings and passionate embraces with his 'angelic' girlfriend, and Thanatos...

Thanatos' remains were never recovered. It seems a little catgirl comanion of Klein's has found her new favorite candy: Lollipop of Lich. Its improved her magic power dramatically, too. Yumminess and concentrated evil magic in one little stick of sugar.