Author Topic: Ranking characters by hair  (Read 1896 times)

Fenrir

  • Denizen
  • *
  • Posts: 2397
  • Social Justice Archer
    • View Profile
Ranking characters by hair
« on: November 05, 2015, 08:41:58 PM »
Tidus: 0/10

Grefter

  • Villain.
  • DL
  • Denizen
  • *
  • Posts: 10386
  • True and Honest. Smarter. More aggressive.
    • View Profile
Re: Ranking characters by hair
« Reply #1 on: November 05, 2015, 08:57:18 PM »
Zangief: 10/10.
NO MORE POKEMON - Meeplelard.
The king perfect of the DL is and always will be Excal. - Superaielman
Don't worry, just jam it in anyway. - SirAlex
Gravellers are like, G-Unit - Trancey.

NotMiki

  • Denizen
  • *
  • Posts: 4476
  • Social Justice McNinja
    • View Profile
Re: Ranking characters by hair
« Reply #2 on: November 05, 2015, 10:03:52 PM »
Everyone > Seymour
Rocky: you do know what an A-bomb is, right?
Bullwinkle: A-bomb is what some people call our show!
Rocky: I don't think that's very funny...
Bullwinkle: Neither do they, apparently!

The Duck

  • Social Justice Duck
  • Denizen
  • *
  • Posts: 623
    • View Profile
Re: Ranking characters by hair
« Reply #3 on: November 05, 2015, 10:10:05 PM »
Royal Rat Vanguard - 10/10

« Last Edit: November 05, 2015, 10:18:38 PM by The Duck »

Cotigo

  • Jerkface
  • Denizen
  • *
  • Posts: 4176
  • Yoo-hoo, Mr. Tentacle Guy...
    • View Profile
Re: Ranking characters by hair
« Reply #4 on: November 05, 2015, 10:41:56 PM »
Tidus: 0/10

30000 word dissertation about how you're wrong and Tidus' hair is fantastic

Reiska

  • DL
  • Denizen
  • *
  • Posts: 251
    • View Profile
Re: Ranking characters by hair
« Reply #5 on: November 05, 2015, 11:04:34 PM »
Tidus: 0/10

30000 word dissertation about how you're wrong and Tidus' hair is fantastic

75000 word thesis about how Tidus' hair is the cause of global warming

DjinnAndTonic

  • Genie and Potion with Alcoholic Undertones
  • DL
  • Denizen
  • *
  • Posts: 6942
  • "When you wish upon a bar~"
    • View Profile
    • RPGDL Wiki
Re: Ranking characters by hair
« Reply #6 on: November 06, 2015, 12:11:14 AM »
Albel: 0/10

Terra: Green/2 possible colors

Meeplelard

  • Fire Starter
  • Denizen
  • *
  • Posts: 5356
    • View Profile
Re: Ranking characters by hair
« Reply #7 on: November 06, 2015, 01:13:25 AM »
[21:39] <+Mega_Mettaur> so Snow...
[21:39] <+Mega_Mettaur> Sonic Chaos
[21:39] <+Hello-NewAgeHipsterDojimaDee> That's -brilliant-.

[17:02] <+Tengu_Man> Raven is a better comic relief PC than A

Veryslightlymad

  • CONCEPTUALIZATION [Challenging: Success]
  • DL
  • Denizen
  • *
  • Posts: 1141
  • Shitposts are a type of art for webforums
    • View Profile
Re: Ranking characters by hair
« Reply #8 on: November 18, 2015, 08:52:07 AM »
FINAL FANTASY IV:

Cecil Harvey:

OK, so Cecil doesn't really count, on account that his hair is invisible. Like, he wears a helmet constantly, so----Wait, there's more game? And he changes class? Oh, OK. Well, what does the cool anti-paladin change class to? ....oh. Well, that's OK, they're both cool concepts, I guess. Anyhow, what does his hair look like?




...k. So, I'm gonna be honest here, I never really got the appeal of the albino superman thing that Japan seems obsessed with, but on the other hand, good on them for reading Moorecock in addition to Tolkien. Take a goddamn lesson American Fantasy writers. In his portrait and Dissidia art, as well as his official art (not shown), Cecil has sort of longish, white-as-the-driven snow hair, which is oddly the stock choice for both Dark Knights AND Paladins, so hey, I guess they couldn't really miss. He has long flowing locks, like a girl, and as someone who used to have hair down to his ass, I can tell you that it doesn't grow that way.
He gets a single bonus point above the "Meh" line for his in field and battle sprites, where he is rocking some WICKED Helmet Hair, and honestly, for a guy that was in his helmet all day every day, including to sleep, for like, ten years or so, that makes sense.

6/10

Kain Highwind:
Ok, now THIS guy. HE never takes off his helmet, so...
.....really? ...like right at the end? Like Metroid? Well, I mean, surely he's got something wrong with him, and it's a phantom of the opera reveal, yeah? I mean, he's the other guy, the unloved one. What's he look like?



Oh, a leonine god. .... Come on, Kain, you had to fixate on the most boring woman on your planet? I'm pretty sure you wouldn't have trouble getting laid if you just broadened your horizons.
You know, Kain is REALLY dark in his original artwork. This hair just feels incongruous, and it honestly felt incongruous as a little kid, too. NONETHELESS, I'm rating him on his hair, not my expectations of his hair, and damn it, it's not bad. And, unlike Cecil's hair, this actually looks like it grew out of a human head.

8/10

Rydia of Myst


OH MY GOODNESS. Look at those mats young lady! HONESTLY. Where is your moth----oh, right.

So, aside from the official Amano Art (And her original SNES "In Battle" sprite which looks kind of like an octopus), and, let's face it, Amano's gonna Mano:







Rydia consistently has good hair. In a variety of art styles. It translates between platforms, games, young and adult Rydia. It's cute, has a realistic level of human bounce, and she even takes the time to accessorize. As far as JRPG characters, Rydia wins the hair category. Yes, I realize right now that my sample size is "3".

10/10 you go, girl.

Veryslightlymad

  • CONCEPTUALIZATION [Challenging: Success]
  • DL
  • Denizen
  • *
  • Posts: 1141
  • Shitposts are a type of art for webforums
    • View Profile
Re: Ranking characters by hair
« Reply #9 on: November 18, 2015, 09:08:56 AM »
Tellah Oldfartington:


Dude, you went Full Wolverine. You never go full Wolverine.

4/10

Edward Chris von Muir
Oooh. The bard. Let's see what we got?


...ugh. Kind of obnoxiously flat. Is there a better angle with some bounce?



WHOA. Too much bounce. That is like, super girly. Or pre-pubescent boy. At any rate, apparently what they say about musicians holds true, because who would run away with that? Does he age well?



While the hair got a lot better, that goatee. Jesus. Edward, are you gonna sell me weed out of your parents' basement? Who the hell rocks a goatee and no mustache?


....question withdrawn. And in battle:


He honestly looks good. DAMN good, even. So yeah, he just needed to hit puberty and his hair became "fine". Good on you, Edward. Now bang that hot Secretary get over Anna Oldfartington.
6/10 FFIV, 8/10 TAY.

Rosa Joanna Farrell:
Now, let's get cracking. I'm gonna be wowed, here. I've got to be. I mean, this is the woman who tore boyhood best friends apart in their quest to get some. She's got to have not only a rockin' body, but an amazing head of hair. Let's see what you've got, Queen Harvey.




....That's it? This is the legendary beauty? It's like she spent too long in the damn pool. She's not a bad looking girl, but... her hair is nothing special. Her Chibi sprite is much better, but that's basically the only Rosa image where I like her hair, so I'm counting it as an aberration. Well, maybe there's an official chibi version that's cute. What's her Theatrythm sprite look like?


OH SWEET JESUS GOD WHAT IS THAT KILL IT.

.......just by FFIV and TAY, though, 5/10. Still better than Tellah.

Veryslightlymad

  • CONCEPTUALIZATION [Challenging: Success]
  • DL
  • Denizen
  • *
  • Posts: 1141
  • Shitposts are a type of art for webforums
    • View Profile
Re: Ranking characters by hair
« Reply #10 on: November 18, 2015, 09:18:57 AM »
Yang Fang Leiden:

Oh, so that's what the dudes yell out when you kill them in Wolfenstein. I always wondered.



Bleh. Not a fan of the warrior Top-knot. Also, it's a rat-tail. Like, if he's the strongest warrior in your kingdom, it's kind of sad that he's got such a wimpy little topknot. Like, aren't you supposed to grow those out the longer that you've been undefeated in battle? Yang's original art depicts the greatest warrior of Fabul. .... who was defeated in single combat sometime around March.


Now, as an old fart, he looks significantly better. Here's a warrior that might have strung together years and years worth of victories. Also, look at that mustache. God damn. Couple that with the braid and you have a take on a style I don't like that forces me to like it. Old Yang really came into his own. Unfortunately, it's a bit weird that his hair turned blonde. Like, he didn't go grey, he just became blonde, and that's weird.

FFIV: 3/10 or TAY: 9/10 Oh, the difference time can make.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, originally, I was gonna do this in one big series of 4 posts with 3 characters each, but Imgur is starting to bitch at me for "spamming" and forcing me to do captchas, so I'm gonna lay off for the day. MORE TO FOLLOW?!

...maybe.

Captain K

  • Ugly Old Man
  • Denizen
  • *
  • Posts: 1210
  • Saving the world with curry and coffee
    • View Profile
Re: Ranking characters by hair
« Reply #11 on: November 18, 2015, 11:33:01 PM »
Chourou from Jungle waa itsumo hale nochi Guu

Helmet hair: 2/10

Gravity-defying moustache:  8/10

Underarm hair:  manly/10

Chest hair:  500/10


Dhyerwolf

  • Mod Board Access
  • Denizen
  • *
  • Posts: 4736
  • Here it comes, the story, of mankind's final glory
    • View Profile
Re: Ranking characters by hair
« Reply #12 on: November 19, 2015, 04:09:15 AM »
He has long flowing locks, like a girl, and as someone who used to have hair down to his ass, I can tell you that it doesn't grow that way.

Of all the FF characters with art styles like that (modern CGI), Cecil probably has...more realistic hair than most. I've dated a guy with hair like that and if mine was that length and stuff into a helmet for a while, it would look relatively similar.
...into the nightfall.