The main event:
well rip my ability to vote
Bonus: Malik's Story Time
Well the good news for The Really Terrible Version of the Orchestral Army That Actually Came First is that they're all on the right side of average speed. The bad news is uh everything else. ~10HKO damage and basically oneshotted by average damage, no one struggles against these things.
Werecreatures, that said, have their issues of backloaded damage on full display here, as none of them can actually oneshot on their first turn, so they have to focus fire. To boot, they're pretty much locked to single target.
Nightmare inflicts perfect accuracy sleep, you say? As the animals only heavily resist it, Beatrice goes to town here and carries Team Demons. She might be getting outsped here but who cares?
Witches are all capable enough here, they're getting outsped but certainly aren't lacking offense. Arche can take them out all at once with Meteor Storm which is enough to put them in a tie with the demons, it's not like any resources were taxed here.
So there's a bit of a problem with Team Vampires in that I don't actually recall the extent of their AoE skills (well, also they're all close to average speed at first). So they might not be able to claim the same level of annihilation Teams Demons and Witches can. They still have AoE capable enough of putting down the opposition though, so they're still ahead of Team Werecreatures.
(Demons(3.5)=Witches(3.5)>Vampires(2)>Werecreatures(1))
Okay since apparently we don't have Humpty stats, they're apparently literally the same as Dumpty's but with reversed resists (so, weak to Dark, nulls Light) and he has Shield, Protect, Critical Heal, and Reflect. So about average durability and slightly below average speed. Anyways Dumpty 4HKOs and is MT.
Werecreatures will take some licks which will prompt some Water Rune useage but don't seem too bad here apart from the risk of Rei fucking up? They'll want to blitz down Dumpty first but they should be able to do that.
Demons have a stronger start, as their combined offense can take out one of the two, but it's a question as to whether or not Beatrice outspeeds Humpty and Dumpty. If she can, Demons are pretty much top here, if not, they'll have to take a hit. Still, in worst case this is a better performance than Team Werecreatures.
So Humpty can throw up Reflect, and while WA3 reflect is, IIRC, not great, Team Witches are not a fan of it. Lulu certainly isn't fast enough and Arche doesn't have dark damage so... Thage to the rescue? Looking at the stat topic EP's practical speed spread is probably weak enough that I'd respect Thage beating out -0.05 SD speed and it looks like some form of Malus blows up the 3x Dark Weak Humpty nicely enough. So they eat one Dumpty spell which doesn't harm Thage at all and shouldn't drop anyone else. I'll actually give Witches the nod here, since I don't think Beatrice actually does outspeed.
(Slim, which I assumed in the previous fight as well) Hilda and Asellus are both faster, and their combined offense should take down one of the eggs. So, they suffer exactly 0 attacks. Yeah, the best here.
(Witches (6.5) > Vampires (6) > Demons (5.5) > Werecreatures (2))
Determining WA3 boss durability is a rather dark art at this point, but personally I'd rate the Wizard of Oz rejects in roughly the same ballpark as the musician animals (okay Steamgear is a bit above and Leonhardt somewhat below). They do have better tricks, but still, they're on the wrong side of the speed average.
Werecreatures do not like confuse, so Steamgear is probably their first target. They should be able to focus them down one at a time, but they'll still take a few hits, as usual.
Beatrice just scoffs at any attempt the Wizard of Oz rejects make to be relevent. Laharl and Kurtis do things because why not, it's not like their SP was taxed considering they rode off of Beatrice carrying.
Leonhardt has auto-reflect! But is he durable enough that Thage can't say "fuck it" and smack him to death with a book? Honestly, to me, he's probably not. Which leaves the other two. Scarecrow has terrible accuracy and is probably putting Reflect up on himself first thing. Meteor Storm might outspeed but it might not, I dunno, ARPGs, man. Anyways Thage blocks confusion apparently even if Psychedelicor bypassed her magic immunity and it's not turn 1 against Lulu so this feels like the team has things in hand. I mean, Thage will still probably have to hit Scarecrow with a book multiple times, but with how inaccurate he is, it hardly matters.
Vampires are just straight up better than the witches here, I think? Asellus just straight up takes out Steamgear first thing and then nothing ever matters.
(Vampires (10) > Witches (8.5) = Demons (8.5) > Werecreatures (3))
We all know and love to mock Malik.
Well Rei has Slow, at least. A pity then, that it's not even remotely 100% accurate and if he actually gets tagged with Misery before sticking it, well, that's going to be terrible. As in, could concieveably lose terrible.
If she gets here in good enough shape, Beatrice should have no problems trolling the fuck out of Malik beating Malik in a slugfest, even with Malik trying to be annoying with confuse and turning the MIGHT OF DISGAEA BASIC PHYSICALS against her. Which she'll have to do, since her teammates are useless here. However, the enemies beforehand would probably just focus fire on Beatrice and that damage does add up. So that is a bit of an if.
Thage probably doesn't give a shit about anything Malik can do, and even if she did, Malik can only screw over one PC at a time and the other two are more than capable of blowing his ass up six ways to Sunday.
Lifesprinkler ignores evasion, you say? Anyways, the Valentines both have magic damage, so even if Malik takes Asellus out of the fight first, it doesn't really matter much, at worst it just takes longer than the Witches would so...
(Vampires (13) > Witches (12.5) > Demons (10.5) > (Werecreatures (4)).
While I could be argued since some of these are quite close and is somewhat based on my lowish WA3 boss respect, Vampires take it, if barely.
