Oh, man. I had some cinematic ones today (which I am going back to, since I am still exhausted.)
So me and like five other guys were being told to look up this top secret information for... someone. It was in Korean, so we weren't supposed to know what it said. But because I once dated a Korean girl thought I was dating a Korean girl, I magically knew how to type in Korean. I didn't know what anything MEANT. I could just TYPE it. Also, this was common knowledge to everyone I worked with, so the guy who wanted to steal the information for ourselves broke all kinds of rules by letting me use his computer, which somehow made it easier to type Korean letters. So I copied the information faster than we were supposed to be able to get it, and I [printed it out? copied it to disk? It's fuzzy here] .
So me and the guys are running across a bridge, ready to give the info to SOMEONE or another [for cash? the greater good?!] and HOLY SHIT WE WERE ATTACKED BY DEMONS. So a bunch of us guys were like, fighting demons with our bare hands. Somewhere in there I woke up.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Later I dreamed I was in some sort of bizarre news training internship. But not like PUSSY CNN NEWS. This was top-secret, "we only give news to the government" news. So I'm pretty sure it wasn't really news, but it was the CIA or something wonky. Anyhow, my boss was this fucked up gray guy that was a total sadist. He was constantly threatening our lives for really obscure, weird reasons, and he seemed to be serious about it. (He'd actually pulled a gun on us)
At one point, he's all "Check this out", and turns the gun on himself, pulls the trigger, and a weird pink gem structure appeared on the side of his face. He turned his head, and there's a DENT on the side that's covered in gunpowder. Everyone is impressed, and he goes on to explain that with concentration he can stop the bullet, and even regenerate---but he'll die if it pierces his brain. Why he told us how to kill him is beyond me. I think he was taunting me.
He introduced me to two of my other bosses, who still seemed to work under him. We asked the first if HE had any special powers too, and he said, "OK, everybody give me a dollar" and we all did. He pocketed all the money and said "Naw, I'm just fucking with you guys, I don't have any powers".
I kept repeatedly fucking up on the job in ways I can't understand and was getting threatened by the gray guy left and right, but he seemed to admire my wits and chutzpah for sticking up to him. My next boss looked like Stan Van Gundy, only he was really aggressive with all of the girls. When he introduced himself, he made it clear that he wanted to be treated with respect at all times, or he'd kill us. Then he said his name, but I got distracted by something, and didn't hear it. Apparently, it was a long name, and very memorable--at least the second part. He made clear that he'd be shocked if someone forgot that part of his name. There was the subtle hint that if you did, you'd be dead. I somehow managed to dodge the issue of not knowing his name by cleverly insulting him when he was flirting with one of the girls, and this had the added benefit of me making friends with her.
When I woke up, I was on the firing line to be killed for being such a screwup, but if I could fill out this one TRADITIONAL ASSESSMENT OF WORTH paper and manage to fudge my worth numbers, I could be kept alive.
