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Author Topic: DRUGS  (Read 9306 times)

cloudstrifesheart

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Re: DRUGS
« Reply #25 on: June 04, 2008, 02:08:34 AM »
Its good to know there are people out there that dont use drugs........it seems like those people are impossible for me to meet. It seems like they don't exist. Im only 23 and I have to go to NA and AA meetings to meet those type of people......and they are there cause they are too weak like me to beat their problems
I think......I think I want to be forgiven. Mhhm. More than anything.

Luther Lansfeld

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Re: DRUGS
« Reply #26 on: June 04, 2008, 02:33:46 AM »
It definitely seems to be an environmental thing, from my experiences with drug abusers. I was someone who was lucky to have some positive influences in my life to take me away from the bad ones, but many of the kids that were in my position went down the same road as their parents or other family members.

It's a trap, which is totally sad.
« Last Edit: June 04, 2008, 02:38:26 AM by Ciato »
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cloudstrifesheart

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Re: DRUGS
« Reply #27 on: June 04, 2008, 02:45:07 AM »
Is it a trap....or is it personal choice. I feel like a victim....but at the same time I feel like I deserve every horrid thing that happened to me....because I brought this upon myself
I think......I think I want to be forgiven. Mhhm. More than anything.

Luther Lansfeld

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Re: DRUGS
« Reply #28 on: June 04, 2008, 02:47:44 AM »
I think there are some things in your environment that you can't help but be exposed to and life choices that are made by others that pave your path toward the same thing. Sure, it's your personal choice to decide if you want to do drugs or succumb to what your peers/family are doing, but at the end of the day a person can't be blamed fully for their upbringing that brought the likelihood of drug abuse up.

How long have you been addicted to drugs?
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Monkeyfinger

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Re: DRUGS
« Reply #29 on: June 04, 2008, 07:08:37 AM »
I'm a stoner. Drink occasionally as well. No hard shit because I have no interest, no over the counter stuff because they don't work. If I'm really sick, I'll get some prescription meds, but that hasn't hapened in years.

Shale

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Re: DRUGS
« Reply #30 on: June 04, 2008, 07:21:33 AM »
Over the counter: painkillers and cold medicine as needed.

Caffeine: Nein. Don't like the buzz, and I can wake up fine without it.

Prescription: ADD meds, once or twice a week as needed (possibly more often now that I've got a more constant workload) - basically low-grade amphetamines, which is one of the reasons I don't like to depend on them for focus.

Alcohol/tobacco: No.  I don't like the taste of alcohol enough to even find out what I'm like when drunk, and have no desire to smoke.

Illegal drugs: never.
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Grefter

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Re: DRUGS
« Reply #31 on: June 04, 2008, 09:14:56 AM »
Caffeine yeah, I like a cuppa.  Been off soft drink as a thing to drink for over a year now.  I have a V occasionally when I am thrashed at work though which I guess counts as breaking it, but the stuff taste like shit and I only drink it because it is impossible to get a good cuppa at my new work.

Hard stuff, no.  Recreational drugs, no.  Never touched either.  Soft/Rec drugs meh I do consider them a bit of a life choice and am not going to go up in arms over someone doing it.  Like with Monkey, that doesn't bother me. 

Hard drugs are a trap.  Anything with that high an addiction rate and lead to a physical addiction that requires life long medication to stay off (seen the Heroine thing before) is a fucking trap no matter how you wrap it up.  It would be less of a trap and more of a lifestyle choice if it was legalised and government run however.  You know, just like gambling and prostitution.

Alcohol, no I don't drink.  I have enough anger management issues when I am sober.  I would likely wind up dead.

Anger, this is the shit.  Fuck that endorphin crap.  There is no higher high than that moment of sheer absolute vindication of your argument and decisively crushing your opponent intelletcually and aggressively.  And then you feel like shit for the rest of the week because that much emotional work is beyond you and you peak out in a moment of awareness that you treat people like the human garbage they are and stupidly feel bad about it.

I consider smoking incredibly retarded, but have considered taking it up in my more cynical fuck everything moments, mostly because when I get frustrated I fidget and develop an oral fixation which in such a situation smoking would fit perfectly (and ironically making them happen more frequently).  I will just stick chewing pens and biting my fingernails though.
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Clear Tranquil

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Re: DRUGS
« Reply #32 on: June 04, 2008, 11:50:59 AM »
Over the counter - Cold/flu reliefs. Painkillers for toothaches, stomach aches, etc. That's when I can be bothered to remember and buy them, like Lance I have a tendancy to try and grin and bear it a lot. Caffeine in cola seems to be my main vice, I also used to drink copius amounts of tea since it's a British thing, especially when with other people but I'm currently avoiding that by being somewhat anti social >_>

Medication - Citalopram for depression. I ... used to be in pretty bad mental health. Some years ago I used to hide away in bed allday long. My mental health is much better now. Positive thinking and attitude have played their part in shaping me to how I am today and that's what I have to believe in. I can't rely on medication forever.

Recreational - Don't smoke, tried a cigarette once, didn't like it. I've seen what drink can do to people through experience within the family so hardly ever touch the stuff myself. My mum has been tee total for five years now and things have been much better than they were. I do personally have a soft spot for whisky on special occassions however. I blame me grandad for making me a hot toddy (tea and whisky) to send me to sleep when I was younger ;p Babycham/champage is also one of the few other alcoholic beverages I can sample. Most stuff gives me a headache. Even on special occassions like Christmas I can only take a very little alcohol.

Hard stuff - No.

I have every respect for anyone that might be battling demons here. Good luck CSH.
« Last Edit: June 04, 2008, 12:36:34 PM by Clear Tranquil »
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cloudstrifesheart

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Re: DRUGS
« Reply #33 on: June 04, 2008, 04:13:49 PM »
Since I was 18.....its funny, I never did a thing till then. I grew up in a disfunctional family, parents were crazy alcoholics...so I stayed clear. Then my mom died, got booted out, and was taken in by my drug dealing uncle who is currently doing four years for class A aggrivated trafficking. When he went away I took over...then I got busted too. Ive done my time....so I have a record. I try to do better and it seems I can't get anywhere so I always turned to the problem that started it all and it consumes me. Its just so ironic. Ive been addicted to opiates ever since I was 19. I thought it was the greatest thing in the world until I tried to stop.
I think......I think I want to be forgiven. Mhhm. More than anything.

superaielman

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Re: DRUGS
« Reply #34 on: June 04, 2008, 06:44:58 PM »

Prescription: ADD meds, once or twice a week as needed (possibly more often now that I've got a more constant workload) - basically low-grade amphetamines, which is one of the reasons I don't like to depend on them for focus.

I've commented on this in passing before, but going on and off that kind of med is mindblowing. That messed me up bad the few times I had it.
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cloudstrifesheart

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Re: DRUGS
« Reply #35 on: June 04, 2008, 07:11:19 PM »
ADD meds are fucking twisted. I don't like uppers and emphetamines.....can't handle it. I like to be mellow and chill
I think......I think I want to be forgiven. Mhhm. More than anything.

Captain K.

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Re: DRUGS
« Reply #36 on: June 05, 2008, 12:33:18 AM »
because when I get frustrated I fidget and develop an oral fixation

Yes, yes, we know all about your "oral fixation", Freud fanboy.

Jo'ou Ranbu

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Re: DRUGS
« Reply #37 on: June 05, 2008, 12:40:49 AM »
I consider smoking incredibly retarded, but have considered taking it up in my more cynical fuck everything moments, mostly because when I get frustrated I fidget and develop an oral fixation

Have you considered lollipops?
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ThePiggyman

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Re: DRUGS
« Reply #38 on: June 05, 2008, 01:26:43 AM »
Aww, what's it called... Damn it, it starts with an R.
The name will come to me later.

In any case, it's medication to halt my epilepsy and prevent me from having seizures.

I don't take anything else that can really be considered a drug, including painkillers (I'm never in pain), and illegal drugs.
« Last Edit: June 05, 2008, 02:05:59 AM by ThePiggyman »
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cloudstrifesheart

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Re: DRUGS
« Reply #39 on: June 05, 2008, 01:34:03 AM »
riddiline? i think i may be wrong....thats for ADD
I think......I think I want to be forgiven. Mhhm. More than anything.

ThePiggyman

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Re: DRUGS
« Reply #40 on: June 05, 2008, 01:43:45 AM »
Wow, I was off.
I take Epival. Or Divalproex.

Where the hell did I get the R from?
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cloudstrifesheart

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Re: DRUGS
« Reply #41 on: June 05, 2008, 01:52:12 AM »
are those antidepressants? never heard of them
I think......I think I want to be forgiven. Mhhm. More than anything.

cloudstrifesheart

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Re: DRUGS
« Reply #42 on: June 05, 2008, 01:55:30 AM »
nevermind, i scrolled up. I'm actually checking myself back into a detox on monday......wish me luck. I'm getting internet disconnected friday morning because im moving and dont want to start off my life at a new place on the wrong foot so im going to detox....ill miss the rpgdl for a little bit, but I'll be back....I'm going to try and beat this thing once and for all.....sometimes I feel that it is impossible, but I keep fighting
I think......I think I want to be forgiven. Mhhm. More than anything.

Shale

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Re: DRUGS
« Reply #43 on: June 05, 2008, 02:15:11 AM »
Good luck, man. You're doing the right thing - let us know how it goes.
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Luther Lansfeld

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Re: DRUGS
« Reply #44 on: June 05, 2008, 02:28:29 AM »
Yeah, I really really hope it works out for you.
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Scar

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Re: DRUGS
« Reply #45 on: June 05, 2008, 02:56:48 AM »
I don't mess with over the counter stuff. That shit doesn't work. It's all in yer head. A headache will go away, I don't waste time hoping that a magic pill will make it disappear faster. I don't like to be dependent on anything, but myself.

~

Everyone around me smokes.

My best friends, my brother, my co-workers, pretty much anyone I socialize with.

With that said, I have smoked marijuana before. Curiosity was what got to me. I was in college the first time I tried it. For a good 3 years I smoked with my friends. I will admit, I didn't waste any money on this sort of thing though, because I wouldn't buy any. I would just leech off my friend's supplies. When it came time for me to start chipping in, I "quit."

So, I almost lost my friends at one point because I didn't smoke. It was a pretty fucked up situation I thought. Childhood friends not calling me anymore when they all got together just because I wasn't going to smoke with them.

Eventually that all passed. They said they thought it would be weird for me if I was around them and not smoking. I assured them that that was not the reason I wanted to hang out and for a good year I didn't smoke, but hung out with a group of stoners.

I was like I was an anthropologist studying a group of natives in their secret habitat from the outside. I almost felt out of place, thank goodness I had booze! (insert corny joke)

In the end, my friends said they thought I was becoming distant, which was why they stopped calling to hang out with me. That, to them, they felt that my choice to stop smoking with them was like a punch in the face, like I was subliminally telling them I was better then them or something. I never thought it through that far. I just wanted to see how strong my willpower was.

To stay around them for a year and not smoke when I was able to. That told me a lot about myself.

I drink. I drink like a champ. I have never drank anything alcoholic alone, so you can rule out alcoholism or anything of the sort. I enjoy a safe environment, among friends for me to get stupid and cause a couple laughs. Yes, I have gone overboard, but eh....it's life. "You only live once," or so they say.

I have never tried anything worse then weed. It's not the "one" fun trip that leads up to a lifetime of dependence.

I have my fun, but I know my limits. I'll stick to booze most of the time nowadays, but even that has lessened as the years pass.

Huzzah!
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cloudstrifesheart

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Re: DRUGS
« Reply #46 on: June 05, 2008, 03:31:28 AM »
Thanks guys I appreciate it. I've been down this road before and it always ends with me going out and using it again. It starts as using a couple times a month, to once a week, to a couple times a week, till the point where it is everyday. I always try to control it and it controls me. Detox gives you a drug called Suboxin which is an opiate blocker. The only thing is it is addictive as well. It takes the withdrawals away though which is a must. Going through opiate withdrawals is like death....thats why I can't quit because I can't take the sickness. It lasts up to ten days and a whole month before you feel normal again. I won't give up though.
I think......I think I want to be forgiven. Mhhm. More than anything.

Captain K.

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Re: DRUGS
« Reply #47 on: June 05, 2008, 04:23:12 AM »
Good luck, bro.

Grefter

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Re: DRUGS
« Reply #48 on: June 05, 2008, 09:09:26 AM »
because when I get frustrated I fidget and develop an oral fixation

Yes, yes, we know all about your "oral fixation", Freud fanboy.

Welcome to the worst kept secret on the internet. 

Also good luck man, and yeah like I said, seen it before and it is rough.  They really are a trap.
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Re: DRUGS
« Reply #49 on: June 05, 2008, 10:48:23 AM »
I ... don't what to say really. With my mum and drink she just woke up one day and decided to stop. She's never touched the stuff since. For her it was like a click or a lightbulb switching on, something just went ping! And that was that. I don't know if her experience was normal or how different alcohol withdrawal is to drug withdrawal. Getting sick sounds awful but then my mum was already pretty sick to begin with, vomiting in the tiolet, bringing up blood. She had a stomach ulcer due to her drinking and the doctor pretty much told her she was drinking herself to death. It must have been a real wake up call for her. Maybe she just figured that she couldn't feel any worse than what she was going through already and that any withdrawal sickness would be worth suffering if she could stop being sick at the end. If you can take any faith from my family's experience then please do. I hope my mother's will power will serve as an inspiration to others, I do it does for me.

Anyway all I can really do is wish you the best, again. I hope our words are some small comfort. If you can conquer being sick for a while then you can get could get well for good. Easier said that done though but worth trying.
« Last Edit: June 05, 2008, 10:50:04 AM by Clear Tranquil »
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