Let's Play Bahamut Lagoon!

[Taishyr]

Ask miasmacloud. I'm sure she'll have an answer.

[Meeplelard]

Ok, Chap 14 has been played through...however, I was a moron and forgot how to do something optional, or rather, thought it happened later than it did, so I had to reset mid chapter, replay it, take screen caps of the thing and...yeah, the end result is, my pictures are kind of out whack for order now, so its going to take some time to get it ready to actually upload and such.

Also, its a big chapter; 200 pics and what not.

[Meeplelard]

And after lots of picture renaming, Snow murders, general puntings of CK, and lots Parallel Worlds LP watching, its time to FINALLY UPDATE THIS TOPIC!!!

*Dramatic organ music plays for a few seconds*

...anyway, its time to start...



I'll let you guys try and guess which Dragon is here!
I'll give you a hint: Its not Valitora or Leviathan.



So will this be a "yay! I'm home!" and everyone welcomes you with open arms, or "yay, I'm home!" and then your deadbeat dad/grandfather/mother/stupid drunken Uncle comes and says "I threw you out of the house 8 years ago damn it! What the hell are you doing back here?"situation?



Can't object to that.



I smell Melodia backstory! Everyone, prepare yourself for an epic flashback sequence that is long, boring and probably completely pointless!



OOOOOOR not.  Melodia is straight and to the point.  That automatically puts her above at least Taicho for who gets to be the next general in this army! Its pretty sad too considering she's like 12.



Naturally, being 12, she runs off into a random corner of town to go play some game with her girlfriends! Alicia, being the mental equal of Melodia, wants to join in on these games of dress up, cheer leading, and general gossiping about random boys they never are going to have a chance with.




No, cause, see, the Empire really isn't as bad as we thought it was, and they realized this not long after they got their asses kicked?  I mean seriously, how can you call an Empire evil that hands out free candy and teddy bears to all the children and provides Free Bingo Nights every Sunday to the Elderly?



I wouldn't so much say that Donfan fought, more so "Tried to grope the female troops, and they killed themselves as an excuse to not deal with it."  Mind, this was a surprisingly effective strategy, if the outcome wasn't intended...



I'm sooooo tempted to bet you 2000 Pr that Donfan already has half the town against him.



But you never instituted any rules.  I mean, if there were rules, you KNOW there'd be rules about "No Physical contact if there's an age gap of 30 years or greater" and...well, ok, I made that up, but my point stands!



And again, Matelite shows his low attention span.



Cause you weren't...



Leave all WHAT in my...wait! Get back here! I want an answer, damn it!



Yes it is, and yes, that includes the part where I reject your offer to join you in your room alone.



I suppose its nice that I'm finally getting credit as being the ONLY COMPETENT MEMBER AMONG THE SENIOR OFFICERS ON THIS SHIP.



I'm always working hard cause I'm the only one who does a damn thing on this ship.



Well, we DO have two of them on our ship, so that should be normal and...wait, WHO LET THEM OUT OF THEIR CAGE THIS TIME?



...wait, you mean there are MORE of those things? ARGH! No! I am NOT taking care of them! Go find someone who will damn it! I'm pretty sure Taicho wouldn't mind.

Anyway, now we can finally explore the town.  This is like Campbell and Mahal, so there's items floating around and such.  Among those items are some generic stuff like Dragon Bait, a Stealth Armor which look cool until you notice its worse than Matelite Armor in most ways that matter, a Master Rod, which happens to be the strongest Storebought Rod, and an Assault which is debatable the best Rod in the game...yeah, that's going to Alicia or Sendak cause who doesn't want ubered Summons <_<



Hey, if you had to sleep in the same room as Taicho, Bikkebakke, Matelite and Gunso, you'd smell the same way.



"Deadly?" That's odd, cause the Mini Devils I have are nearly useless barring free EXP actions.



Why am I not surprised? I mean, seriously, outside of Melodia, who actually LIKES Mini Devils in Orelus?




What town would be complete without a FEMALE hitting on Hatbot, to further prove he's a pimp?



...you know, that Mini Devil idea is starting to sound better all of a sudden.  Why didn't you bring that up before!



You're drunk, aren't you?



*sigh* Here we go again...



...well, we got lucky this time.  Sendak, you need to get drunk more often.




Damn it, "Mini Devil" this and "Mini Devil" that and "Global Warning is real!"  Can you just shut up?



About time I met the "Welcome to Coneria!" stereotype person and all that!



Not even going to message prompt me, are you ;_;?




But I never wanted to know ;_;



Yes, it also makes me better than you by definition.



Why does everyone in this town have such a keen sense of smell anyway?





These guys are pretty paranoid merchants. I mean, its crowded, Don't injure the armor! is just weird and such.

In any event, new equipment upgrade here and such naturally, I take advantage of that!



There probably won't be a resistance when you grow up, either cause we'll have been disbanded due to winning the war, or we would have been wiped out by the Empire.  But hey, you can dream!



Wouldn't it make more sense to stand OUTSIDE of the house then?



I...what the hell are you talking about, woman?



But she's only like 12! Her childhood is NOW! Remembering it would be pointless!




So Granbelos DOESN'T rule the world? Damn it Matelite! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THIS SOONER!

Anyway, think now is a good time to end up the update. More fun stuff coming soon!

[AAA]

Where are the Mini Devils dammit

[Meeplelard]

I think now is a good time to continue.  Why now? Cause its exactly when you expect it! Yes! I AM BEING PREDICTABLE AND I AM PROUD OF IT!

...that aside...



And Alicia shows off her amazing observational skills.

This next scene is so breath taking, so important, so...crucial to the plot, it can only be done without being interrupted by Meeple Commentary.  So brace yourself, ITS GOING TO BE EPIC!


















See? The scene writes its own commentary!

On a more serious note, this scene actually is important, not so much for what is said...or happens or...well, ok, its something that you just have to activate!  Fun fact is, when I was first playing to get screen caps and all that, I completely overlooked the house with this scene which led to me wanting to kick myself, hence one of the reasons I had to redo the chapter and rename stuff and all that!

Anyway, lets move on!



No, I'm just an emotionless IRC Bot who is captain of a Dragon Squad, and the only competent, nonHomosexual male among our crew.

Anyway, once you trigger the big scene I showed above, a certain NPC says something different!



Or more accurately, Donfan interrupts.
Again, I think his scenes are best showed in successive order rather than commenting on them outright, so ACTIVATE COMMENTLESS MODE...NOW!






Great example of how much of a pimp Hatbot is, really.  He's such a big pimp even *DONFAN* has to go out of his way to introduce him.  Really, that's no easy task.



I'm just that awesome, Donfan.  You should take notes.



Threesome eh?  Well, I...er...actually, I'm not sure WHAT I should say here, so instead, HERE'S A KITTEN!



Anyway, moving on...



It is also your destiny to get disappointed in the end, and probably end up in a lot of pain as a result.



If by "waiting" you mean "want you dead" then you're probably right.



How does the option of "shut up, follow me, and let me do all the talking!" sound?

That girl leads us back to the room where someone is sleeping!



I don't know if I'm a friend of that person! I don't even know whose in here!  And frankly, I'm sure its just another useless guy who ha...
...wait, its a GIRL? So then there's SOME HOPE for this person not being a total moron and actually not raising the homosexual levels on our ship...or if she does, it'll be of the lesbian kind which naturally can ONLY be a good thing and...ok, yeah, I'm going in.



<Hatbot> Most certainly,      .



Well, that...
...
WAIT A MINUTE.
Lets consider this statement for a second.
Ok, normally, "Drifted from x land" is a bit awkward, since how do you know they're from there?  I suppose if they keep speaking about their home towns but...well, wait, does that mean she was sitting in that bed for *3 YEARS*?
But that's just RPG Magic playing and such, so I'll let it slide; I mean, RPG Characters never feel the effects of time, so yeah.
HOWEVER, one thing that makes no sense? Normally, drifting involves falling out of some sort of vessel or boat or off an animal...which is perfectly reasonable.  The problem? Drifting typically means you mean fell into the sea and thus floated and landed on a beach or something.  Now, in ANY OTHER WORLD, that'd make sense...
BUT this is Bahamut Lagoon.  THE ENTIRE WORLD IS MADE UP OF FLOATING CONTINENTS.  So did she like defy the laws of gravity and somehow float to Godland from Kahna and...yeah...

ALTERNATIVELY, Drifting could simply be a metaphor and this NPC needs to be shot for using them.



I said it before, I'll say it again:
Hatbot is a damn awesome pimp.



Say, that name looks vaguely familiar!
I'll give you a hint: Check back to the prologue.



Since I already know you, I guess I kind of have to be polite, right?  Well, as I said before, since you're female, there is *SOME* hope for you being both an ally and competent.



Yes, I recognized you.  I'm not as absent minded as a certain Knight Captain you use to fight under.



No, she's just sleeping standing up with her eyes open and talking at the same time, while clearly trying to hug me for a nice heartwarming reunion!

And of course, what reunion with someone like Mist wouldn't be complete without...



Him.



Smile and nod.  That's the best way to deal with him, near as I can tell.

Well, that reunion was relatively painless, though I can't feel like we're missing something...something that'd inevitably...



RUIN THE MOMENT.  GOD DAMN IT!



Unfortunately, yes.




Not only do you come in screaming like a moron, complete with maracas and cymbals and all that, not to mention a kilt you got from Taicho's closet, you ALSO interrupt her touching story of survival? Damn it, I'd kill you if it didn't mean I'd lose my tight gr...er...nice relationship with Alicia.



You do realize she was about to explain that VERY THING before you interrupted her, right?



...I'm speechless.
Really, I am.  I mean, think about it...
A RANDOM NAMELESS NPC just talked back at Matelite.  That's gotta be the ultimate insult.



...and he actually submits to her as well.  Can we recruit her and make her our second in command? I'm actually serious about that....



Awwww...she's showing sympathy to Matelite by pretending to give credit to him, how thoughtful!



Look, its not called being shy, its called being POLITE.  The girl is clearly not feeling well, so I figure speaking a little and just BEING here is enough to make her feel better, as opposed to your method of "GET UP AND JOIN OUR ARMY WOMAN!"

Anyway, can you finish your story please?



Yay! She listened!



Let me guess; he was the man of your dreams! A (rather masculine) angel sent down by Lord Bahamut himself who had swoon you! He was like a temptation of the devil that you couldn't resist, and he rescued you, right?



...I think my response was more fitting.



Typically the appropriate reaction to *ANYTHING* Matelite says.



Give her time to think damn it!  She's obviously tired and can't remember straight!
...wait, why am I going over the logistics of someone recovering from what seems to be a coma of sorts to you when all you'll do is stare outside at the dog with the bushy tail?



*Cue dramatic sounding, suspenseful music here*



*Cue shock and awe organ music or whatever instrument that is used here*

As a side note, Palpaleos' parents must have hated him.  I mean, who names their son "Satha."
If that's an actual name of sorts, I apologize for insulting anything named Satha.




Yes, Matelite, its not *THAT* confusing.  We've already learned that he's a nice guy...just an enemy.  Granted, you're just racist towards all Granbelians.



Was I the only...ok, Donfan, I'll let that slide; you never actually MET Palpaleos, so you have no clue what kind of guy he is, so for once, your ignorance WAS a legit excuse.  MATELITE on the other hand...



I'm guessing that was the first time she met him as well, so yeah, I'll let that slide too...



Lukia to the rescue!  She tells us exactly where to go to advance the actual plot!




Its at this moment Donfan realizes he might be two timing Lukia (as if he doesn't do that every other moment of his life...and that's assuming that Lukia really WAS in love with him like he claims...)

Anyway, that scene is done and all that.  Basically, this entire sequence was optional, but there was a very good reason behind doing it...
See that character Mist? She's an optional character.  You can miss her ENTIRELY if you don't do those two Donfan sequences.  See, the first time I played, I forgot about the Donfan scene (somehow overlooking the house entirely), and when I got to a point of No Return (its after you visit Melodia's house), you can't get her, and thus she's gone for good.
And yes, getting Mist is that important.  I won't spoil why, but again, the Prologue posts in the LP might give a slight hint why.

[Fudozukushi]

Those flowers look odd.

[AAA]

Donfan is VSM if we ever do DL casting for this game.

Is she good in battle or something?

[Meeplelard]

Maybe we will!  But until then, all we can do is MORE SCREENSHOTS!



How'd you guess?



...no, you will *NOT* start singing "Can you hear the people sing" from Les Mis.



...I'm not sure what he's saying here.  I...really, I'm not.



Ooooh! She's not oblivious either.  Can we *PLEASE* recruit her?  PLEASE?



Well, considering how far we've gotten with MATELITE as our leader, we'd probably have already won if we had someone competent like Zora or Bikkebakke leading the army.





Shameless message from the Rom Translators.  They admitted they put this in as an easter egg.  Anyway, this is the way you access the Sound Test mode which, from what I understand, was not in the original cart, and is a pure Rom thing.

Seiken Densetsu 3 had a similar ordeal, except no shameless message by Neil Corlett, outside of maybe the Translation Readme.

Now that we've escaped the horrors of Donfan monologues, Matelite idiocy and 4th Wall Breaking, we finally go to Melodia's house!



What the, MINI DEVILS? AND ONE IS GREEN? OH GOD!!!
...wait, did that one just talk? THEY'RE GETTING SMARTER AND TAKING OVER!

On a less...distressful note, these are the two new Mini Devils that will be joining us.  Wagahai is the Green one, the other is Munyo, Manyo? Whoever we don't have...its the same name as the other two with one vowel changed. 



Um, hi?



I think its safe to say that Melodia's return has been a positive experience.



...she's only 12 or so, how long has she been away? Or more importantly, how old was she when she left? That...ok, I'll be patient and let you explain the story.  If these questions aren't answered, I'm forcing you to play Kaizo Super Matelite.



See? Look what you did now!



...I...have no words.  None.  Can we just label this guy senile already?



Ok, good, so its not just me.



ARGH! Say something that makes sense already, damn it!

And with Hatbot already confused, the old man jumps into ONE MAN PLAY MODE!







I...I...I use to have a kitten named fluffy.




Yes, thank you Melodia, I couldn't have said it better myself! I guess you're use to this stuff, eh?



Um, ok, I'm not sure what that has to do with ANYTHING.



Oh? Well, NOW we're getting somewhere! MELODIA BACKSTORY or something.



I think that counts as a neglectful guardian or something, you know...



Well, its the only thing he says that makes sense too!





What the hell is WRONG with this family?



I'm right here! You don't have to shout!  Geez, first my mind is starting to go from having to deal with Matelite and then this guy, and now you're screaming in my ear ;_;



...you busted my eardrums to tell me THAT?



This better be good...

And suddenly, with the door busting open and impeccable timing, SENDAK AND ALICIA ENTER THE HOUSE!



Look, I don't want to hear about you and that damn Loch Ness monster!



Cue scene shift to black background and white letters!  Also cue the SEA MOTHER VOICE!




Cryptic...



So...how do you pronounce a "...?!" anyway? I mean, really, what does that imply?



Wait, so the Dragon we have to go after is actually...



...I think Lightning Protection might not be a bad idea...



No, I'm pretty sure that's...
DAMN IT! Neither Matelite or Taicho are here to blame something on *le sigh*



Well, so long as what you're feeling isn't me...



Last I checked, he's in Saronia.  Bringing Dragoons wouldn't be a bad...
*Ponders*
Wait a minute! Frenze, Reeve, Zora's Son and Donfan! They're practically Dragoons! We may not have already solved this problem, BUT FOUND A USE FOR OUR LANCERS!



No, I'm pretty sure he's in Saronia.   At least, that's where he was the last 5 times I played...
Wait, right, this isn't Final Fantasy 3.



Ok, look, that's a given.  If there aren't Monsters, there's Imperials instead.  In the end, we just gotta kill a bunch of things and we get our reward.



Brave Girl or something.



Can I ask why you said that twice?

Well, after battling the confusing tales of a senile old man, and the over enthusiastic nature of a little girl, I think now's a good time to end this update!

[AAA]

Damn son, you gots to get Garuda on your side.

More mini-devils! Yay!

[Yakumo]

So, do the mini-devils actually get useful if there's four of them in a group?  I think you explained them before, but I forgot and I'm too lazy to check for myself. >_>

[Meeplelard]

I refuse to talk about Mini Devils for a variety of reasons.  Anyone whose played BL knows why, and I would request that you don't spoil why either <_<

[Yakumo]

You could just say yes or no, it's not like I was asking for a ten page essay or something. >_>

Oh well, whatever.  *hypes senile UOM or something?*

[Meeplelard]

Now that we've scaled that large tower in Saronia, gotten Dragoon equips, outfitted the useless Lancers with Diamond Equipment, we are ready to head off and battle...GARUDA!!!!




No, we just came to Godland blindly and there just HAPPEN to be a Dragon here, of course its a mere coincedence!  Its not like these things ever work out nicely for some divine reason or another!



Anxious, are we?



Given who we're speaking to, I'm going to assume "Long Time Ago" actually means "Last week."



...what?  Stop with the nonsense damn it!



...there's more? ;_;



Yes, after we met the other 2 Mini Devils, we met someone new, namely that senile old man you call a grandfather.  Yes, I'm aware he's standing right there.




...there wasn't much to memorize, and you're...no, I'll just stop trying to work out how you think.



Oh, yeah, sure, I'm sure if Garuda gets so angry and nukes us with his Lightning Bolts of death, we'll be fine!  Especially if the entire landscape around us is destroyed.

Ok, the next part can change slightly, depending on whether you got Mist or not.  See, this is the one advantage about me initially failing to get Mist.  First off, these scenes are what happened when I DIDN'T get Mist, though this part is unchanged.  How can you tell? Normally, Mist and Matelite would be standing in the upper lefthand corner, so yeah.  Anyway, the "yes Mist" sequence first, since I did get her on the TRUE Run through!



Look, I said it before, and I'll say it again:
You're Female.  That automatically makes you competent enough to the point where I'm not worried about you.



...you don't listen, do you? I am NOT worried about her in the least!  Though, even if I could somehow put that into drug form and inject that knowledge into you, you'd probably somehow translate it to mean "Pretty Flowers!" instead.

Ok, the 3 or so pics are what happens if you DON'T get Mist.



Taicho tries to become Captain Obvious again!  He fails to impress anyone as a result.




You know, for being the self proclaimed leader of our army, you really do JACK SHIT, don't you?



*close up to Hatbot's head, it whitens out to show what it looks like inside.  There is nothing, the sound of crickets can be heard*

And this is the effect a senile old man's ramblings have had on Hatbot.

Anyway, plot scenes are over, Dragon feeding done, TIME FOR BATTLES!!!!




Given at the time, no one in chat wanted to help me, I decided to make a serious team for once.  Basically, this is what a bunch of units with actual *THOUGHT* put into them looks like.

Anyway, token Side Quest is done, more Dragon Food gotten.  This time, upon feeding Dragons, something very odd happened to one of them...



Cutman evolved into something that wasn't an Uni Uni related form!

If you look at his stats, notice how he has 4 elements Maxed out, and maxed Strength?  Yep, that's right; this is his Holy form, Raiden.  I'm...not sure the logic here though.  You'd think Raiden could go to Elecman, being the Electric Dragon and all that, but nope, Cutman gets it.   In this form, he gets a new *UNIQUE* attack.  His alternative is...well, can't remember the name offhand actually.  If I stumble across it, I'll tell you or something!

Also, something else happened!  This one, I'll have to show you in a few scenes...



Keep note of his stats here...
Note I am about to feed him one Porn Mag and some other weapon, so the stat that's boosting the most is actually Strength by...a value above 15 (Porn Mag alone is +14 after all.)



"Vegita, what does the scouter say about his HP?"
"ITS OVER 9000!!!!!"

Yep, THIS is Fireman's Holy form.  Its a Phoenix, and hey, it shouldn't be THAT surprising; i mean, if Garuda, whose also a bird, can be a Dragon, why can't a Phoenix?
All the same stuff applies to Cutman's Raiden.  IN ADDITION, Phoenix also gets his HP immediately boosted to 9999.  The alternative to Phoenix is Effex, though in this case, Holy vs. Dark is...horribly one sided its not even funny, cause Effex doesn't get that nice little HP boost, and also gets a weaker attack compared to Phoenix (NORMALLY, Holy vs. Dark attacks are very similar in power, but in Fireman's case, his Holy attack > his Dark one quite significantly.)



I think now's about time I show you the use of an Uni Uni form...and what better way to do that than use the strongest of them, a Black Dragon?
Sorry about that Elecman, but you're the one whose Loyalty and Fid stats were the highest, so least Mushroom's required, hence you get sacrificed!



Grand...wait what? I thought Garuda was the...
...so all that preparation thinking we're going to face the big bad bird who terrorizes Saronia was all for not, and instead we have to deal with a MOTHRA Rip off?
:psyduck:



Well, might as well see what we're up against.
Nothing special, but good to know he has no support!



Odd new enemy in this dungeon.  Their trade mark ability is turning you into a Rabbit!
...no, I'm completely serious about this.  There is a status that turns you into a rabbit.  That status is like FF Frog status, except you ALSO get you're MHP halved, and I think you get some new useless ability called Carrot or something? I can't remember, but point is, its an evil status and its not that common outside of these guys and the move Randomizer.



Can't remember if we saw him recently, but anyway, just a big annoying, ugly giant with multiple heads!



Bat upgrades!  Believe it or not, they actually look something like bats this time, and NOT like birds.

Anyway, this update was short, but I have to get going soon, so yeah.

[AAA]

Rabbit morphs! Truly horrific!

The new dragon forms are pretty stylish, I must admit.

[Meeplelard]

Anyway, picking up where we left off, ONTO TO THE ACTUAL FIGHT!

Fireman decided to be aggressive and attack an enemy force head on, instead of intelligently slam them from a safe distance with Hellfire or something. Lets see how that goes! 







Ok, so lets analyze these shots.
Fireman starts the fight with 9999 HP.  That's expected; this is the first action he's seen all fight.  Now enemies attack him, doing about 800 damage total, so you'd expect his HP to hover around 9200, right?
But its still 9999.  What the hell? Is this a glitch? Did the game lie?

...actually, no its not.  This is a hidden factor of Fireman's Phoenix Form.  What's that factor? He has *INFINITE HP* in this form.  Yes, you read that right; INFINITE HP.  Now remember, Dragons are also immune to Status, Instant Death, and Bridge Collapsing.  What does this mean? Fireman is ABSOLUTELY INVINCIBLE AND CANNOT DIE in this form.

Well, there is one way to die, but its in an indirect manner; if the unit he's assigned to dies, he's technically "die" too, like how any other Dragon would.  Granted, Fireman is linked with Hatbot, so if his unit died, its a game over ANYWAY.

Next off...see that team with a Light Armor and 3 Mini Devils? Wondering what I was thinking with that, right? Well, now I'll show you!



Ok, see the name of the Dance here? Looks different, no? Ok, maybe not since I'm not sure if I showed you, but...
Normally, Mini Devil attack names are called "Devil Dance."  However, because I paired them up with Elecman, whose in a Black Dragon form, they are now "Fright Dance." Do note that despite how most Uni Uni based attacks are dependent on the level of Uni uni (and Black Dragon is effectively level 10), Fright Dances function like Devil Dances, so its still based off the Dragon's Mind stat.

Anyway, lets see how it differs!




This is one of the neat effects.  Self explanatory; it kills the MP of enemies in the range of the attack.  The MP damage is actually pretty significant too.

Elecman decided to get in on the action! He's a Black Dragon, so he should only be using Uni Breath or Failure, being an Uni Uni race thing, right?



Wait, huh? That's new, wonder what it...



Ooooh, pretty!



O_o

Yeah, Dark Power is the STRONGEST DRAGON ATTACK IN THE GAME.  The only way a Dragon will do more is through one of the rare Gravity attacks.  It still has the flaw that it might fail (only way to prove this is through a different Dragon form which I haven't showed yet), and it costs MP.  I think it works in a unique style, since I saw the move used and it did like 2500 to one enemy, 1200 to another and 600 to the last, so my guess is that it has a set amount of Damage, and spreads it however it wants across the enemies ala Double Edged Sword from Suikoden Tactics.  So when its ST, you get a damage value like that.  Needless to say, this is one of the reasons Black Dragons are good (also Uni Breath level 10 hurts quite a bit too, but nowhere near as much.)

Anyway, BACK TO MINI DEVILS!




Despite the name of the attack, it has nothing to do with Frogs.  IIRC, all Dances have a move called "Damage All" which is 1/8th MHP Gravity to all targets, both ally and enemy, in the area of effect.  Frog All hits EVERYTHING ON THE MAP.  Note that some enemies can immune this.  In any event, this is actually often beneficial since you can typically keep yourself healed while the enemies cannot, especially with the broken item command.  A neat double edged attack, in any event, though frankly, not something I'd use Mini Devils for...



*THIS* however, is.  See, Power Dance is a pretty standard Dance that heals all allies marginally in the area.  Complete Heal All? HEALS EVERY DAMN UNIT ON THE MAP COMPLETELY, this includes Status and MP.  It also hurts Undead (this actually comes in handy) *AND* is the ONLY WAY to restore Dragon MP mid battle.  So yes, while it heals enemies, so long as you keep killing enemies, this move can only help keep your team going, and ends up being far more beneficial than the "Heals Enemy too" aspect would imply, especially since half the enemies are likely fully healed anyway.



Eventually decided to attack a guy head on.  One of the Mini Devils midbattle pulled off a move that did that much damage.  For the record, my Knights, who are my better consistent ST damage, do around 1500...on a Critical.  Yeah...



Of course, Fright Dance also has "Heal Enemy" move which does exactly as the name implies.  Hey, they had to balance them SOMEHOW.



Take a close look at the damage value.  Now remember, this is only *3* Mini Devils; 4 would have hit the damage cap no problem.  However, I prefer slightly less damage paired off with a Light Armor for mobility, so hence why I'm only using 3.

Ragnarok is one of 4 Major attacks Mini Devils can use.  The others are Bagdem, Super Secret Attack (which is also Lightning Elemental, so typically drops better stuff), and Giga Shock.  Note that Giga Shock cannot be used by Fright Dance, but is used by a 3rd Dance from the unnamed Dragon Form called "Reggae Dance" which is generally a safer, but less rewarding version of Fright Dance.  In addition, Fright Dance uses an easy to get Dragon Form, Reggae Dance does not, and uses a Dragon form several classes would want to take advantage of.  Reggae Dance also lacks Frog All and Complete Heal All.

This is the last thing I'm going to show you regarding Mini Devils.  If you're wondering, what does Devil Dance have? Mostly generic Elemental Damage, a healing dance, a move that randomly causes the enemy to skip the next turn and some bad stuff like Damage All.  Its a boring, generic Dance basically.  Its not bad if you have Mini Devils participate in Head On Combat since the elemental damage they can pull off IN BATTLE is decent, but Devil Dance sucks when on the map, which is when Mini Devils are best used.

So yeah, THIS is what's useful about Mini Devils.  Normally, they aren't much, but paired with a Black Dragon, they can become a fun random unit with O_o rewards should they pull out the big stuff.  And the game doesn't even rig them; its about equal chance of doing any of the moves.  Essentially, take a Rafalak concept, and make it actually worth the risk.

Anyway, lets attack Mothra Wannabe now!



OH GOD THE PAIN! WHEN DID MOTH'S GET FLAMETHROWERS?

Yeah, this is a big move he has, I forget its name though.  He also has a Poison Powder Move which does Poison damage and randomly poisons targets, but that should surprise NO ONE.



DEATH QUOTE ACTIVATE!



POST BATTLE PLOT SCENE ACTIVATE!



UGLY OLD MAN MAKING USELESS STATEMENT ACTIVATE!



This statement can be taken in several bad ways, I think I'll just avoid commentary.



Leave it to Matelite to be naive enough to not understand a DAMNED THING.



Ok, let me rephrase that:
Alicia's the Naive one, Matelite's just a freaking moron.



Umm...nothing happened, Sendak; I don't know why you're worried...



See?

Lets see the rest of this scene with no interruptions!  Why? Cause its an EPIC SCENE OF PLOT INTEREST AND...yeah, ok, its mostly cause I'm out of material...















Yes, the chapter ends with INSIGHTFUL COMMENTARY FROM A MINI DEVIL! Bet you didn't see THAT coming?

Anyway, THIS GOD FORSAKEN CHAPTER IS FINALLY OVER! BWAHAHAHAH!
(I pray I never have to rename that many pics again <_<)

[AAA]

Whoaaaaaah. That's pretty awesome. How is making Fireman unkillable at all balanced?

[Yakumo]

Who said it was balanced?  <_<

[Meeplelard]

And we're back after a long hiatus.  I wanted to Video LP this one but...well...its...ah...

...screw explanations, WE'RE STARTING NOW!

This Update of the LP may contain a special secret.  If it doesn't...well, I said it *MAY*, not that it does!



Sadly, this episode does not have Hatbot riding a horse, holding 6 shooter, challenging Elegant Maid Palpaleos wearing a bandana over his mouth to a duel.



Gee, I wonder where our next destination is...



A desert? HOT? Surely you jest!



...what map 





"We" made her suffer? I'm pretty sure I had nothing to do with it...or you for that matter.  I don't care if its we in the figurative sense, I DON'T LIKE BEING BLAMED FOR MATELITE'S MISDOINGS!



But aren't you the pilot?




I'm still wondering how you can faint from someone elses anger.  I've heard of fainting from your own anger, but...

...wait, I'm trying to question why Alicia is so pathetic...



I think Taicho stole their klondike bar.  Just a hunch.



Oh great, now he's getting philosophical.



Would the correct response to this be "Is it Sparta?"



...that's pretty sad, you know.



Saved from...?



I...I have no words...none...



You mean be a total retard and hope it works out?  Cause if it does, that pretty much defies everything I've ever been taught.



Never took you to be the depressed type.



Wait, SAUZER? You mean...ok, now I'm lost...



I...I...can someone explain what the hell is going on here?



Wait, but why is...argh, head...scene...sense...make...no...fish sticks...*shoots self in the face*



I have a radio in my car...



And...oh, wait, FINALLY something that makes sense!  Except why is Sauzer telling us about...



Ah, its a taunt!



Something tells me a flashback is about to happen of some event that makes absolutely no sense cause this whole freaking scene is just so *psyducks*



*Cues flashback*







Wait...Hornet is a *CROSS KNIGHT*?  Why the hell is he stuck on the ship doing nothing but telling useless crew members what to do rather than being on the front lines with Hatbot, joining forces in a formation to create level 20 Swordtechs?





God damn it Hornet! Why'd you have to become all poetic and philosophical and...argh! And here I thought you were cool...



And he goes and pulls a Kenshin stunt as well with "I will never kill again!" Man, my respect keeps dropping of you, I am saddened...



That's not quite what Hornet said.  That, or my analytical skills aren't as bad ass as you...which could only mean you are a poetic philosophical bastard too!




I smell some preaching...



See?



Suddenly, I get the image of Elegant Maid Hornet. ARGH! NO! BAD BRAIN!





AND THE INNUENDO CONTINUES *Cries*




Is it over? Please god tell me its over?

IS THE FLASHBACK OVER? WILL THE SCENE WITH HORNET EVER MAKE SENSE? AND WILL HORNET EVER REDEEM HIMSELF AS BEING A SENIOR MEMBER OF THE BEAT WHO ISN'T A COMPLETE MORON AND/OR PERVERT?

FIND OUT NEXT TIME IN CHAPTER 15 OF BAHAMUT LAGOON!!!

[AAA]

Bad Meeple. No 300 jokes.

[Fudozukushi]

Next time?  Will that be before or after you update your other LP?

[Meeplelard]

And so we return to an epic tail of...

Epic tail of...

...you know what? its just Epic.

Anyway, when we last left our "heros", it was a flash back with a scene from Hornet that made no god damn sense.  I mean, really, how the hell does it make sense that he met Sauzer and...oh, right, I'm suppose to CONTINUE with the game, not moan about things from before >.>;



Zora to the rescue! Yes! WE ARE OUT OF THE FLASHBACK AND WE OPEN WITH SOMEONE COOL!



I'm not.




Don't look at me! I was the one who warned you all that a personalized dinner cooked by Matelite can't be remotely nutritious!



Wait, what? We just got out of a flash back, and the scene hasn't been completely loaded and you're saying its an important time?



Ok, I can endure...wait, what is the problem again?



...there must be something defective with this chapter.  First Hornet and now Zora are both starting to spout out nonsense.



Thunderhead? Wait, we were in one? Why didn't you tell us sooner!

Also, Hornet must be practicing for his audition to be Captain Obvious.



3...
2...
1...
0...
!!!

(no, I am not making this up, the game actually does this...)



I SEE THE LIGHT...AND IT BURNS!!!



This can only mean one thing:
HOT YURI ACTION!

...or I can hope ;_;



Wait, you have enough money to hire goons for your shop?  I'm not sure if I should congragulate you on your success, or if I should smack you for the bad investment.



Typically, a good way to expand is to sell things besides Mushrooms, you know.



And Alicia did too, and she doesn't?  Damn it, why do we always get the useless Deus Ex Machina character or whatever you wanna call it?



Even if we could, Matelite would force us to head into the battle with full force, and probably advise us not to use weapons since that's how REAL MEN FIGHT! (even though half our army is female...)



Taicho in deep meditative thought.  Whoever can tell me the most amusing kind of "enlightenment" he reaches will win the right to tell me what kind of style I'll write the next update in!



Well, we did it for the first 6 chapters or so...



Yeah well...wait, that "but" implies some doubt of the situation.  Right, Truce isn't a moron, keep forgetting that given a lot of the other members of our group.  In any event, yes, good boy for not being overconfident.



Move along people, nothing to see here...



I'd agree if we had 6 shooters, some special boots, and 10 Gallon Hats.  Some large domesticated 4 legged mammal couldn't hurt either...



Damn it, why does everyone keep making this sound like its going to be some sort of awesome Western flick?  Did people forget we have magic, swords and dragons to fight with?

Talk to Hornet again, he says "Shall we leave" and the usual "yes/no" prompt comes up...aka, he's the guy we talk to in order to advance the plot this time!



Hornet has a boss, what?





Mind explaining what the point of all that was?  Seriously, I'm confused; beyond the word "Thunderhead", I don't see how this fits into the rest of the game.

Anyway, ONTO TO THE MALE QUARTERS!  Why them first?  Cause it adds SUSPENSE!!! for the female quarters or something.

Talking to Barclay, he offers to sell us equipment (namely the usual Matelite stuff), or he can just chat.  We choose Chat cause it might have him say something new!




Well, good luck with that!  I suggest hanging out with Matelite less if you wish to fulfill that last part.





Reeve is annoyed Frenze left him still, so he's trying to recruit someone else!  Naturally, he goes for the next lancer available, even if its a janitor!



And he shows off the Lan-Lan-Lancer! Pose.



Yeah, hard to do that pose with a broom...





Uh-huh.  You know, before you consider helping Taicho and the rest of the crew stop the empire, maybe you shold take a shower?  Calamine Lotion (SP?) couldn't hurt for that itching either.

...and then we got a Gunso???




...no comment.

And no onto the Female Quarters!



Um, considering I don't know what you're talking about, no, not really...




Oh boy, more use-...wait, did you say Dragons? Master Dragons? Something ABOVE Holy and Dark Forms?
...well then, THAT'S something new and useful! Congrats, you moved up a tier in worth on this ship.  No, not sure where you are right now, but hey, at least there's a bigger gap between you and Matelite now!
Though, how did you know this, and why didn't you tell me earlier?



...oh.  Now I wonder why HE didn't tell me...



...this scene pretty much speaks for itself.



Mind explaining what those good points are?



Somehow, I think "Looking" is a euphamism for something else here...
That, or she didn't complete the sentence.



So wait, being held captive by a bunch of hot young chicks is the biggest crisis of your life?

...I really don't know how to respond to that...




Yeah, that works; I mean, it keeps me from having to deal with him myself, which is a waste of time, but still part of my job as Acting Leader of this damn force cause Matelite...well, its Matelite.




Good lesson to learn indeed



So how do you plan on putting him back in there then?



Also a good lesson to learn!




*cues freaky music*
I'll let you come up with your own imagination as to what she's thinking.  Keep in mind whose she's trying to impress also!



Like, no I didn't!



Like...wait, what? Painful sounds...
...
That's just...whatever the opposite of a euphamism is...for saying "girls are in there having fun" which is a euphamism for...yeah, now you just made me MORE INTERESTED!



Well, she IS the princess and the Deus Ex Machina character, so...



Being the SUCCESSFUL pimp on the ship, I'm kind of obliged to, no?



Maybe this medicine is what's causing you to end up this way.  Just a hunch...



What is it with the girls being so unhealthy on our ship?  I gotta speak to Sendak about sanitary conditions.

...that, or Zora's Son isn't doing his job right.  Maybe I should have a talk to him or his mother...



If you really want fans, fighting in a bikini would be a sure way to succeed!
Then again, they're not the greatest of defensive armaments in battle, so you'd probably end up scarring yourself.  And the fanservice value might be a bit offensive and...

...you know what?  I'll just end the update now before I start comparing this game to FFX-2.

NEXT TIME, WE WILL SEE WHAT HAPPENS IN ALICIA'S ROOM, FIND OUT MORE ABOUT DRAGONS, AND TALK TO MINI DEVILS!

[AAA]

Implications of S&M and no guys allowed? Alicia's gotten really weird lately.

Have you already gone over Master Dragons or are you saving that for later?

[Meeplelard]

Saving it for later.  Basically, you know they exist, but I refuse to tell you what they are.

[Meeplelard]

And cause you all failed to give me a way to do this next update...well...GENERIC MEEPLE UPDATE BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!




Well, being Male, Hatbot is apparently banned from this room. BUt oh no! That's not going to stop him! I mean, Hatbot is the one whose pants Alicia wants to get inside!  Clearly an exception can be made for him!

And he fails to get in.  So instead, he attempts to peak inside instead!  No, I'm not sure why Alicia has a reverse peep hole in her room, just assume she does.



Zuh? How'd Lukia get...oh, I get it.  You really meant "Men aren't allowed in there" literally, didn't you?

Well, THAT'S NOT GOING TO STOP ME!



Oh, I get it.  A threesome between Melodia, Lukia and Alicia, and they're just sitting there...CLOTHED...just to mock us.

...I think its a good thing Donfan doesn't know about this.

At this point, Hatbot knows he'll never get to see any action, since Lukia's one of the few intelligent members on this ship and thus knows how to take precautions ("You know, none of the guys can see us if we go to THAT side of the room, which is a complete and total blind spot for that reverse Peep Hole Matelite installed!"), so he decides to go see what those who are not part of our army and/or human are up too!



Wait, Wagahai can speak english? Does that have to do with being green?
Though, based on this line, its safe to say Wagahai isn't one who supports Ansem.



Um, ok, if you say so.



Wait, what is it you're doing THIS time?



Hatbot's brain at the moment: *insert sound of crickets chirping*



Well, you know, being indoors, and never having a reason to outside, I don't see why you'd ever close it for weather related reasons.

...well, I suppose Tornado completely demolishing your shop might do the trick but...wait, is that even physically possible in this world?



And of course, what ship would be complete without the awesome of the Dragon Keeper.

Also, yes, I forgot to get the Battlefield Salesman Line somehow.  Don't think he says anything special, just talks about his wife and all that.




Our teams, compliment of...a bunch of people in chat.
If you didn't notice, Alicia isn't anywhere in site.  Why is that? If you've been following the plot along, it makes complete and total sense and *is shot*

...ok, fine, I'll get back to actually doing PRODUCTIVE things, sheesh.

But first...you'll notice I have 2 Light Armors in one unit, right?  Well, this is something I would NEVER BE CAUGHT DEAD DOING...but in this LP, I have no say in my teams, so I just hate you whoever forced me to do that.



THIS is what happens when you have more than 1 Light Armor and a High Dex Dragon; you have such high move you don't know what to do with it!  Also hurts your other teams since instead of spreading your Light Armors out, you're forcing them to work together in a way that doesn't really help!

If you're wondering, 3 Light Armors pretty much turns into "Move anywhere you damn please."

Anyway, Side Quest done, intermission set up...



GUTSMAN EVOLVES!  This is his Holy form.  Yes, its name is Odin.  No, I don't know what it has to do with Dragons.  And yes, I'm aware that suddenly a random guy out of nowhere is now riding on Gutsman that very clearly wasn't there to begin with.  Whoever comes up with the best theory as to where that guy came from gets to choose a commentary condition for the next update!

(and yes, the fact that its Odin is exactly why I went for getting the Holy form, only cause the name Odin in the DL has...ah...history here <_<)



Elecman evolves too! This is his Dark form!  Oddly enough, it has absolutely nothing to with Electricity.

Actually, that's one of the things I never got.  Cutman, the Dragon of healing, transforms into forms that both clearly use electrical attacks (even though they aren't electrical elementally speaking), while Elecman transforms into something that is...different.
Anyway, Dark Forms are equal to Holy forms, should this be the first one we got, only real difference is that you maxed Poison instead of Healing (if they're both maxed, Intimacy is used as a tiebreaker, where 50+ = Holy, and 49- = Dark.)

Anyway, with 2 more Dragons evolved, its time to MOVE ONTO THE SHOWDOWN IN THE DESERT!  CUE THE WILD ARMS MUSIC!

(actually, at this point, I ended up putting Advanced Wind from WA3 on <_<)



What better way to start a classic western showdown than Matelite shouting out the enemies name like a complete jackass?



And Taicho only now realizing that Sauzer never goes anywhere without his side kick, Perfect Elegant Maid Palpaleos.



Ah, the irony of this line...



This is true; we did gain a bunch of levels and such since we last fought Sauzer!

...though, that's giving Matelite enough credit that he has the ability to break the 4th Wall, so knowing him, he's probably reffering to the fact that he's wearing Matching Socks today.



Well I...wait, dah! This line actually makes sense.  Fuck you Matelite for actually being sensible for once.



So...this is suppose to be the final chapter I take it?



Dude. She's still alive.  Kind of hard to ask for someone's divine presence to watch over us when they haven't yet died...



Lengthy? It lasted all of one month.  Has the Dragon Power gone to your head or something?



...yeah, this is SOOOO the final chapter.



Can someone tell me what the point of swearing upon your sword is? Really, I'm not sure...



Yes, yes, we know, can we fight already?



Unfortunately, this line lacks any sort of witty humor associated with it; god I hate these kinds of lines.



...I was about to make an Alanis Morsette (SP?) reference here, but I figured that'd be in bad taste, so instead, HERE'S A PICTURE OF A BANJO!



...moving away from that scary note...



See, that's just being bad ass right here.  Sauzer is willing to fight for the honor of his entire damn empire WHILE BEING SICK.  How many Emperors do know do that, huh? HOW MANY?



I don't know what he's trying to imply here...really, I don't.  Ok, I suppose we're suppose to assume he's just saying "I'm better than Alicia!" but...well, for fucks sake, who the hell is going to waste time announcing a statement like THAT?



Truce: Hey Matelite, how about we let Hatbot lead the army this time.

Matelite: Hatbot lead it for once? THAT SOUNDS LIKE A BRILLIANT IDEA!

Truce: HA! Told you so! You owe me 200 PR Rush!

Rush: God damn it!  Well, if nothing else, I learned to never overestimate the attention span of Matelite...

With that bet out of the way regarding whether Matelite would recall that Hatbot leads every single god damn attack to date or not...



Sendak comes up with actually USEFUL info!  Basically, tells us the quirk of this fight, as in, there are sandstorms.

...there must be a Tyranitar or Hippowdon near bye.



Oh, yes, cause I didn't think the Emperor himself who COMPLETELY KICKED OUR ASS last time we fought him singlehandedly, and his highest ranking General, would actually be threatening.

Anyway, we've been on this map standing around for a while...and I've already got sand in my shoes damn it! Can we please-...



Ah, THERE we go.



Sauzer's unit.
Translation: He's a total bad ass with support we've never seen before.



Palpaleos' Unit.
Translation: Less bad ass than Sauzer's, but still no slouch.





Generic BS we'll be facing in order to finally reach Sauzer himself.



This spot is unaccessible Terrain that I believe you can get rid of with some sort of element.  Either way, its pointless, and not sure why its called "Antlion" for that matter.



ONe of the higher level Devil Dances!  Sadly missed getting a shot of, you know, the damage.  In any event, it did 2200~ from what I remember.  The other elemental attacks aren't much different...

Now, that sounds nice and dandy, right?  Good...now go look at what Fright Dances did in the previous chapter, then come back and say that.



Our Wizards were paired with one of our Holy Dragons!  This little spell is one of the two Ultimate Black Magic spells: Armaggeddon.  Its stronger than the others, and hits 3 panels instead of 2, and like summons, cuts to a battle sequence to show its animation!

if you can't tell, its basically a variation of FF6 Ultima with better graphics for animation.



Oh, right, we have another Summon, don't we?  Anyway, this is Garuda's animation! It is incredibly boring and bland.

As for what he does?  He's a *5* Panel attack, costs 1 more than Leviathan (so 2 more than Valitora) and is Non Elemental.  He's also the weakest summon in the game.  All in all? Pure utility summon and isn't as useful as it sounds, so I typically stick with Leviathan for beat downs.



Fireman decided to get off his lazy immortal ass and do SOMETHING interesting. Unfortunately, I couldn't really get the animation.
Its mostly just "everything is set on fire with white explosions in the mix to make it look Holy elemental!"
Thus, we have Solar Flare, Fireman's unique Holy elemental attack!

See, apparently, Fireman being immortal in the Phoenix form wasn't broken enough, so they took it a step further and gave him the strongest Map attack of any Dragon to boot.  No, I'm not sure what they were thinking; they must just really love Phoenixes and Red Dragons and such.  And yes, this attack out damages Uni Breath.

After much tedium, boringness and beating the crap out of wimps, and possibly some Dirge of Cerberus Cutscenes for pure MST3k potential...



WE HAVE MET PALPALEOS HEAD ON!
And...wait, Flame Hit?  Isn't that one of Hatbot's Techniques?  Like the one he started the game with cause he was linked to Fireman?

And is Palpaleos swinging two swords?
HOLY CRAP PALPALEOS IS A CROSS KNIGHT!  I NEVER WOULD HAVE EXPECTED HATBOT'S RIVAL TO HAVE AN IDENTICAL FIGHTING STYLE TO HIM! ITS LIKE THEY'RE GOING AGAINST A CLICHE! MY WORLD IS TURNING UPSIDE DOWN!

...wait, no, that's just the vertigo kicking in.



Even has the same animation to boot...

After this turn ended, something peculiar happened...



*Hatbot's Army was buffeted by the Sandstorm!*



And as is the trend of Bahamut Lagoon, they tell you useful info about map hazzards *AFTER* you just were hit with them.  What's next?  The game tells me about Sky Bridges after Matelite accidentally drops Hatbot off one and causes a game over?

Anyway, Palpaleos eventually falls...and to our dismay, he lacks a deathquote.  HOWEVER, on the otherhand...



He did give us a nice shiny equip.  If you guys know your RPGs, you know any weapon labelled "Excalibur" has to be bad ass, right?

Well, Excalibur in Bahamut Lagoon is the second strongest Sword in the game usable by (Cross) Knights.  Which is to say, its REALLY FREAKING SWEET.  How did I get one?
Palpaleos counts as a Class 4 enemy, which is the highest, so his drops are insanely good.  By killing him with a Holy attack, it gave us that nice fun thing.

Darth Vader in the form of a Yaoi Mistress has fallen!  ITS TIME FOR

THE DUEL WITH SAUZER!!!!!!!

and by duel, I mean our entire army against his lone unit...



Does this move look familiar?  Yes, that's Ragnarok!  He still has it, and he decided to teach Matelite a lesson in competence as the two "leaders" of the armies clash!



Needless to say, THE MOVE STILL FUCKING STINGS (though at least now we can survive it.)

After several rounds of clashing, killing, burning chimps cause its fun, Tea Time at 2, and watching the entire Lord of the Rings Trilogy...




SAUZER FALLS!
YES! THE FINAL BOSS IS DEFEATED! THE CHAPTER IS CLEARLY OVER! THE GAME HAS BEATEN!  THE LP IS OVER!



...wait, why is he dropping stuff like a normal enemy?  I mean, yeah, Excalibur is awesome and all, but...some thing's not right here.

(as a side note, when I was doing a quick test to see how long this chapter would be, I managed to get an even *BETTER* equip from Sauzer.)

Oh, I know! Duh! No Final Boss has simply one form!  Of course!  Clearly, Sauzer's going to pull a Sephiroth and whip out his SUPER DELUX ANGELIC FORM!



No, I'm pretty sure he's going to bring out his ultimate form...wait, was that the victory fanfare we just saw before?  So the fight is really over?



Ah! Its an interactive Ending sequence!

Well, with the game obviously beaten and there being nothing else that could get in our way, all we have left is to play out the ending!  I mean, this *IS* the Final Chapter, right? We *DID* beat Sauzer, so all should be good, right?  No, I'm sure I'm not forgetting a certain figure that could make this game go on longer.

Well, stay tuned next time for the ENDING OF BAHAMUT LAGOON'S FINAL CHAPTER!!!!

[AAA]

Good work on the LP, Meeple. I can't wait to see the ending.

Too bad Garuda sucks, his sprite is kinda cool. We really need a new page, on another note.

Oh yeah, the guy riding the dragon is actually Hatbot's eviler twin, Thaddeus Von Bottington. Make the next update Darker and Edgier. To the extreme.