http://www.raintaxi.com/online/2011summer/card.shtmlOrson Scott Card has decided to take it upon himself to rewrite Hamlet to make it "accessible." Also to change shit around to reflect his personal (and by "his personal" I mean "the one the Mormon Church dictates he has") worldview.
New additions include!!!!
-Awesome new dialogue like:
Horatio brought him his sword. "Laertes is looking for you," he said.
"I don't have time for Laertes. He must know I didn't mean to kill his father," Hamlet said.
"It's not his father," said Horatio. "It's his sister."
"Ophelia? I didn't touch her."
"She killed herself. Walked out into the sea, dressed in her heaviest gown. A funeral gown. Two soldiers went in after her, and a boat was launched, but when they brought her body back, she was dead."
"And for that he wants to kill me?"
Yes, that's when he first learns that Ophelia is dead. WAY TO HAVE YOUR CHARACTERS EMOTE.
-Any musings about the nature of what happens after we die is now gone, because Hamlet should already know, because it's in the Bible, duh.
-Rather than suggesting nothing is good or bad, but rather that we make it so, he instead claims "Some actions are always good, and some are always bad."
-Hamlet's father is revealed to have become a Ghost because he was evil. Why was he evil? Well, obviously because he was gay. And gay people will fuck ANYTHING, so Hamlet's dad wants to bone Hamlet.
For someone who hates gay people so much, Card sure does write a whole lot about supple young naked boys, though.