Well, the Playoffs are just about here, and with Golden State's loss yesterday, we more or less know exactly what the teams going in will be, even if Golden State technically has yet to be mathematically eliminated.
So, in the spirit of my long diatribe about Milwaukee, I've got a BRAND NEW SEGMENT for my half-baked NBA analysis.
And now....
VSM FIXES YOUR DUMBASS TEAM
....With Veryslightlymad
Miami Heat
Miami is actually in fairly great position. They have an excellent shot at getting the number one or the number two pick this year (I think they should take Rose regardless, but if they take Beasley, I can't really fault 'em for it.) Dwyane Wade should be not injured next year, Shawn Marion doesn't seem stupid enough to opt out (probably) and likely is OK with being on a team where he's not the number 3 guy. He can also play his natural SF position. Miami also has Udonis Haslem, who I consider a fairly strong asset. I don't much care for the team personally, but I should give them some credit with what they've put together. The riffraff they've been running at the end of the season won't all be bad players, and they probably ARE evaluating their fairly weak bench to a degree. I think some of these kids might not be bad second stringers. They also have 3/5s of a strong starting lineup with Wade, Marion, and Haslem, and obviously, if they get Rose, they'll finally be set at the point, too. I don't quite expect them to be playoff bound next year, but if they were, I wouldn't be too surprised. I'm pretty darned sure, however, that they'll improve enough to convince Wade that the team is going to turn around fairly quick, and keep him in the burgundy for quite some time.
Or they could draft Beasley and get an excellent player, but flounder for a little longer because, really, who the fuck is going to play the point? Wade should never, ever ever be a point guard. He commits sinful amounts of turnovers, even if he CAN get a lot of assists, too. All in all, though, Beasley is clearly not a stupid pick. Assuming they get in the top of the draft, they're in excellent position, and even if they get stuck at 3 or 4, they're not -too- bad off. They have a much more solid core than their record shows.
The Team Formerly Known as the Seattle Supersonics
Well, they won't make the playoffs next year. Most of what they need to do is get Kevin Durant to EAT something and hit the weights. I'm vaguely sure I have thicker arms than this kid, and I weigh in at 125 pounds. He's got to get stronger. He definitely has talent and heart, which is a good thing, and I truly dig Jeff Green, so I like the start of this youth movement, so far. They have to put together a core. They ALSO need to draft a great point guard, and it's a shame there's only one Rose to go around. Still, there are a couple of other serviceable point-men in the draft, and that's what I'd start with. They have three picks, and I wouldn't be surprised if they kept jettisoning players and wound up with four or five. They have committed themselves to going young, and I'm guessing that they're going to keep going in that direction. For now, this is a fine strategy. Eventually, though, they have to make a move for a player who knows what the hell he's doing, or they'll likely flounder. Still, for this next season and probably the one after it, they can and probably should just keep taking whatever guy looks exciting in the draft, and pretty soon they'll have some options.
So.... I can't fault them for what they're doing, nor do I think I'll hate them after this offseason. The only thing I really think I'd do different is I would not move to fucking Oklahoma City.
Minnesota Timberwolves
Now these guys, should they win the draft, should take Beasley. I might be stupid, but I'd continue to work with Telfair. He's really given the Wolves more than they probably thought they'd get for him, because he's a two or three time loser. He needs to work on his shooting, but his passing skills aren't too shabby, and some consistency is what this kid needs.
The big problem they may find if they take Beasley, is they would have a really undersized frontcourt. Jefferson is pretty damned amazing for a guy his size in his position, but he gets blocked a fuck-ton, and it's not hard to see that his size is a big part of the problem. Having Beasley up there with him could make them a midget team that's fairly easy to control. Ryan Gomes is more of the same. This team really doesn't have many great options. Their only real shining point right now is Al Jefferson, so they're gonna have to find a way to work with him. Other than that, they're pretty terrible. You can't blow the team up, because it's already been blown up. So they have to make it with what they have now, and that's not going to make the playoffs. They have to painstakingly grow something here. This is why I think they need to keep Telfair. The kid DOES have some skills, but he's been very slow to mature and show them. Randy Foye has some potential, too. They're not going to be on the receiving end of a deal like the one they made with Boston, so they have to do things the hard way. They will need the draft for the next several years, because I don't think they have anything to work with. They are especially bad off being in the west. They have less to work with than "Seattle", but the same principle applies. They're stuck with having to put together a team from scratch. They need to target front court help for Jefferson, and they need a better bench.
Memphis Grizzlies
This team has Cap Space! Nearly 13 million for next year. (Based on the current cap. That'll change some). So they have options that other teams don't, in that, if they wanted to, they could pursue some free agents next year. Unfortunately, the coming free agency market is not exactly good. (I think, of the players likely to consider switching teams, Corey Maggette is the best thing out there. And no slight on Maggette, he's got some mad skills, but he's not going to be "The guy" on your franchise. Plus Memphis has Rudy Gay.)
Can Conley run this team? I think they have to take the answer as "Yes" and hope like hell that he'll improve from this year's performance. For now, they need to focus on building around Gay, because their only other really good player is Mike Miller, and they definitely can't start a team around him. I would give serious consideration to trading him for some size that is not Darko Milicic or Kwame fucking Brown.
Size is what Memphis needs more than anything, looking at their roster. They really have nothing reliable as a big, or as a big guard. Nothing. Their entire guard situation is a bunch of shrimps, and Darko and Kwame are not the front court of the future. Size size size. Rebounding. Big, burly guards who play defense. They need to do anything they can to get these things in the draft, and if I were them, I'd hoard my money and make a run at someone in the free agency market next year. I dunno who, but there's no reason to go crazy with spending on this year's lackluster free agency. They need another year to evaluate Mike Conley and Javaris Crittenden and I guess Juan Carlos Navarro. Kyle Lowry, too. The shrimps. The tiny, tiny men who are still giants compared to me.
I'm not sure who would be willing to part with a really good big man, but a trade package of Mike Conley and Jason Collins (a 6 million dollar expiring contract) would almost certainly make any team's mouth water. The problem with this scenario, is it almost certainly forces Memphis to take on some bad contracts and kill their cap space. Also, there just aren't too many good big men out there that I could see a team readily parting with save the idiots in New York, and... they're idiots. Letting Collins' contract expire would give them an amount of cash that could do pretty much anything they wanted, so they're in excellent position for two years from now. Next year, I'd sign some short-term contracts and accept that I'd have a terrible team. Hopefully they could win the next draft.
If they win THIS draft, they almost certainly have to take Rose, because he has the much-needed SIZE that Beasley sort of lacks. That means Conley is free to be traded and added to the asset list with Miller and Collins and all that gorgeous money.
To summarize, Memphis has an ass-ton of options, but no real core outside of Rudy Gay. That's not going to have a team "identity" and it's not going to get it done next year. Even if they luck out and score big in the draft. My advice to the Grizzlies is "Wait and see". They're almost certainly going to get something tantalizing in this next draft. They have to pick someone, see how they and Gay play together, and fill in the gaps from there. They more or less have to keep Darko, too, and hey, there's way worse. If Memphis makes a huge deal, I would expect them to do it in midseason next year. Their goal is to put together a core, and despite their enormous flexibility, they have such a fragile base that I don't know how they'll do it yet. They MUST wait and see.
Los Angeles Clippers
They need a point guard. I sincerely doubt Livingston is coming back as a point, and that assumes he comes back at all. I hope he does, because it's terrible seeing an injury like that.
I think they more or less have to resign Corey Maggette, and they have to hope Elton Brand is good on his word and chooses to stick around next year. Al Thornton was a savvy pickup for them, so they actually have one hell of a decent core. Kaman, Brand, Thornton, and Maggette. Bringing guys like Mobley off the bench. That's actually a hell of a team. The only significant deficit they have right now is at Point Guard. If it weren't for Brand and Livingston's injuries, I honestly think they'd be right there in the West with everyone else. It's almost scary to consider how many good teams are in the west. Especially with Portland AND Sacremento looking like they're going to be coming up. It's insanity. I couldn't tell you who was going to fall off next year.
Once again, this is a team that needs to draft Rose, if they win it. No slights on Beasley, but they got his position fucking COVERED. They need a point guard who can play immediately... uh... immediately. Luckily for LA, they have a bunch of capable point guards at their spot in the draft. Probably. And there's a few that they can trade down for. Yeah, they're the dreaded "Combo" guards, and I was originally going to say this was a bad thing for the Clippers, but then I remembered that Cassel and Livingston were combo guards, and they very nearly won the West with those two and the same lineup two years ago. And the pass-first guys like Dickau and Brevin Knight? Boy, they have not really worked for LA. The Clippers in their hey-day, if I recall, were sort of like a slowed-down version of Dallas. They are simply not a team that gets many assists. They are going to kill their opponents with isos and having some seriously stacked players for one-on-one. So yeah. A combo guard, or a good defensive guard, that's exactly what they need.
LA, if you miss on the lottery, draft Russel Westbrook. He's both. And, having gone to a local school, he could actually draw people to watch Clipper games. Seriously. Westbrook is hands down the perfect draft choice for the Clippers. He helps solve three problems the team has. (DISCLAIMER: I don't actually follow college ball too closely, I mostly go by reading draft reports on the various players. It could be that this is too high for Westbrook, but at least one site that has him on the board at all has him at about this level. Even if it's a reach, I think it's the right one.)
New York Fire Isiahs
FIRE ISIAH.
I'm not even gonna bother cleaning up this spill. Fire Isiah. Let Donnie Walsh do whatever the fuck he wants. Get back to me in a year. There is probably nothing you can do to make this a scummier team. You might make the RECORD worse, but not the future. You currently have no future. You have looked into the abyss and the abyss is looking also into you. Pray. (Hang onto David Lee. OVERPAY him when the time comes. I am advocating making a silly move, because you owe this kid for fucking up his future. Assuming you ever become a respectable franchise, you damn well better have Lee on it. Make Lee harder to pull away from you than Charlton Heston's guns, which I hear have only recently been pried from his hands. (Too soon?))
Milwaukee Bucks
Already discussed. Get somebody who'll work well with Bogut. That, or get Charlie V to stay in the post, because apparently, he's actually been doing shit down there (rebounding!) for the past few games. If he can be convinced this is his job, you are actually in FANTASTIC shape, because then all you need is a wing. It's a shame they probably won't have the money to go after Maggette, but if they somehow do, for the love of god, go after Corey Maggette. Maggette is the sort of rugged slashing player that they need to pair up with Michael Redd. Draft a big guy. Beasley if you win. Get Maggette. I don't care how. Just do it. Whoever gets Maggette between you and the Clippers is officially the smarter team. You both kinda need the guy. If Yi improves in the offseason, you're in even MORE fantastic shape. This team better make the goddamn playoffs next year. Consider setting yourselves up to trade Williams to the Clips, because they will almost certainly want him. You want him too, but if you had your hands on Maggette, you might be able to get away with drafting a combo guard, because hey, there's way more of them in the league than rugged slashers like Maggette. So go get him.
Charlotte Bobcats
GET. SOME. FUCKING. SIZE. Your front court is so very, very brittle. Okafor is fine, but he needs some damn help. Felton is absolutely capable of running an NBA team. Richardson and Wallace are both freakishly good in different ways. You have most of the pieces already, but you need someone to hang out up front with Okafor who is not made of glass. Hey, I like Sean May, too, for the 10 games he plays a season. You draft Beasley and like it if you win. Otherwise, size size size. You need a front court. (Actually, Nazr has been healthy for most games, but you need more than just Nazr.)
You will officially be over the cap next year, because you need to re-sign Okafor, and holy shit, you're paying Matt Carol five and a half million dollars a year. I actually really like Matt Carol, but he's taking up a fuck-ton of your salary.
I repeat: Get some size. You're in fantastic shape! Stay healthy somehow, and you will be FINE.
Felton will need a competent backup, too. (For the love of god, start him at point. FIRE your coach if he moves him to SG again.) Make sure you get one. Your bench is a little thin. Your core is way better than most teams could hope for, so just keep at it. You are almost there.
Chicago Bulls
If you win the draft, draft Beasley.
If you do not win the draft, draft Kevin Love. Trade down if you feel this is a reach. Love is a good fit for your team. He has legit post moves, but he's not very athletic. He makes up for it by having decent passing skills. HEY, you have two super-athletic, long-armed PF/Cs you can pair with him. Ta-DA. I solved your goddamn stupid "We don't have a post presence" problem. Fuck Drew Gooden.
New Jersey Nets
You're not in bad shape! Krstic needs to be healthy. Your starting lineup looks to be Harris/Carter/Jefferson/Krstic/Diop, which is fine.
Actually, when I see your cap space and expiring contracts, I come to the horrifying conclusion that you need to do some spending if you want to keep that core. You need Krstic, so go get him. Diop is less important, but you probably want him too. Boki Nachbar is a fine addition to your bench. So.... you don't have a lot of options. If you get a great offer for Vince Carter, you should probably take it. Otherwise, there's not a lot you can conceivably do with the cap situation. (Although, you seem to have a trade exception from trading Kidd. That will help a bunch.)
Somehow, you have Keith Van Horn signed for three whole years. I didn't think you needed to sign him for more than one. If you get Van Horn out of retirement, he might actually help strengthen your bench. Otherwise, congratulations! You officially have four million dollars of dead weight.
Take the best kid you can get in the draft, or the most NBA ready kid you can in the draft. Try again next year.
Indiana Pacers
Uhhh................
I'd trade Jermaine if I could, but good luck finding a team that'd nuke itself to take on an overpaid player who will probably leave the next year anyhow. Granger is good, you have finally gotten production from Dunleavy, which is good. You're stuck with Jermaine for now, but if he doesn't break himself again, he'll at least be productive. Holy shit, Dunleavy and Murphy have hilariously bad contracts. WOW.
I get the feeling you stuck with the worse executive. Your cap space is really abysmal, but there's really nothing you can do about it with Dunleavy and Murphy AND Jermaine taking up some sick space. Those guys combine for nearly forty million dollars. It's VERY good for you that you managed to squeeze some production out of Dunleavy, because goooooooood luck finding someone else to take him. He is now a building block for your team, and part of your core. No matter what.
So you have Granger and Dunleavy. You have a mix of old guys that aren't going anywhere, and young guys who will either improve -slightly- more or are about what you're stuck with. Luckily, they're not too bad. You must take the best available player in the draft and hopefully add him to your core. O'neal comes off the books next year, so there's only a little more time left in the horrible red zone. The bad news? Granger is up for his contract at the same time.
In other words, your money is going to be very sparse for the next few years, barring some kind of trade miracle that would probably also nuke your team. So take whoever you can get at any position. Just take the guy that your scouts agree is the best available player. Eventually the pressure will come off, and when it does, you should have a stockpile of talented young guys in the yellow and gray. It could be worse.
Hey, the Atlanta Hawks are currently in the playoffs
Tough noogies.
Get this: You need a center. That's it. That's all you fucking need. Get one.
I was down on the Bibby trade, but for some reason, he's actually come back from the dead playing for your team, and I have no idea how that works. I pretty much wanted to turn you guys into what I hear the Philadelphia 76ers are, but what you are is apparently enough to reach the playoffs......... this year.
Next year, you absolutely must have a center up there paired with Horford. I dunno where the hell you plan on getting one. By the way, Horford was the best pick you've made in a long time. I give you tremendous props for that one.
You have some tough decisions to make with re-signing players. You might have to say goodbye to Josh Childress, which would be a shame for you, but probably a good thing for some team that might throw money at him. (Memphis? Milwaukee?) Your terrible ownership issues might make signing someone even harder.
Bibby comes off the books in two seasons. This would open up enough space to sign your guys, but you'll have to spend one year with the luxury tax. I can't see your owners letting you do this, but if they do, that might be the best choice.
Consider making a run at Ben Gordon if you can't keep Childress. I doubt you can get either, though.
Sacramento Kings
Biggest surprise of the season? Beno Udrih. That really helps your position. Unfortunately, now you need to pay him money.
Shareef and Brad Miller are eating up all your cap space, but somehow, I don't think it'd be entirely unfeasible to trade Miller to a team for either some more shiny young players to pair with your backcourt, or some much-needed relief. Congratulations on signing an EXCELLENT player in Kevin Martin to a contract that is not batshit insane. Spencer Hawes has been showing flashes, so that's 3/5s of a team right there.
You're stuck with Artest, but he still plays good defense, makes other people play good defense, and plays for a surprisingly affordable price, so hey, you currently have 4/5s of a good team. You seem to be doing good with keeping him in check. I think if there's a way to handle a "problem" player, it's to give him respect and space. Look at what the Warriors did with Stephen Jackson.
What you need is a bench, which means you have to either trade Miller for some bench players, because SOMEONE has to be crazy enough to want him, or you need to draft some more young guys. I would go for both. Your team is actually quite good, but you need to be better than good to win in the crazy west, at least for the time being. However, with Martin, Hawes, and hopefully Udrih locked up, you are in excellent shape for the future. My advice to you is the same as the last few guys. Take the best guy you can get and be patient.
Portland Trailblazers
Your GM is better at this than I am. I can give you no advice. By all appearances, you have a beautiful future, and I hope everything goes according to plan.
Golden State Warriors
You have to decide where you want to take your team. If you're happy just making the playoffs sometimes, you have pretty much the roster to do it with. If you want to compete for a championship, you are going to have to give your roster a long, hard look, and probably get rid of someone you really don't want to.
Unfortunately for you, you have a lot of players coming off the books next season, and you need to re-sign most of them to stay at even your current position. This doesn't give you much flexibility at all. You're probably going to need to go over the cap, and you still won't be competing for a championship.
Hopefully, some of your young guns evolve some more, because you will need all the help you can get. You need size, and I know that's not Nellie's style, but you need it anyhow. I don't know where you can get it, or who you could get to fit your team that way.
If you want to be an exciting franchise that your fans love and that you can market, then stand pat. You've already got that, and you'll probably continue to compete for the playoffs for as long as you keep this unit together. If you want something more, I'm afraid I can't help you, because as far as improving goes, you really don't have much leverage at all. This year, you will have to make a choice.
