Movies

[Scar]

John Carter - Not sure about this one. Was this supposed to be something grand from Disney? Was it ever a book? I have no idea where the concept comes from, but the movie itself was not that good. Now, the weird thing is that I enjoyed the story enough and the ending was fun, but the presentation and actors all made me cringe. It rips off Star Wars in so many scenes, among other movies I imagine. Wish they had done a better job, because it was almost good. 

[Captain K.]

If I'm not mistaken, it's a lesser-known series from the guy who wrote Tarzan.  So it's been around a while.

Snow White and the Huntsman:  I liked the part where the werewolf broke in to stop Bella's wedding and Thor hit it with a bolt of lightning.

[Meeplelard]

John Carter, from my understanding, was this big budget movie Disney sunk a lot of money into, thinking they could get money on merely advertising a movie that looks like it'd be totally awesome, whether it was good or not.

...it failed, miserably, and Disney lost a lot of money on it from my understanding.  At least, that's the impression I got when how Avengers was doing ridiculously well, they were saying "Disney needed it after the failure that was John Carter."

[Shale]

John Carter isn't that well known anymore, but all the stuff that was tired and clichéd about the movie (well, most of it) is tired and clichéd because people copied it from the books. Kind of a Lord of the Rings situation, except the original isn't nearly as well remembered.

[SnowFire]

It wasn't so much that John Carter failed, but rather that it went waaaaaaaay overbudget.  It cost 250 million to make, but was no Avatar as far as getting bang for the buck; it was intended to have been a 100-150 million movie.  Had it hit that budget, Disney would have broke even, which is acceptable (minorly underperformed box office hopes but still didn't lose money; hit them and get a little money; exceed them and get a LOT of money.  Hollywood economics, it's gambling.). 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2012_in_film
It's #9 so far in the year with 72 million domestic gross.  That's disappointing but okay.

Anyway the marketing for the movie was incoherent and bad, but the other thing that helped make it a failure was allegedly that Andrew Stanton was too used to animated movie directorial habits, where it's comparatively cheap to redo a scene that could use tweaking.  So he re-shot a bunch of stuff when he realized it didn't work.  Some reshooting is expected, but it's done far more sparingly for expensive action movie pieces in exotic locales, where every day of the shoot is expensive.  This excessive reshooting alone probably helped balloon the budget a good deal.

[Veryslightlymad]

Sopko made me watch a movie called Redline.

I cannot accurately describe Redline, but I am pretty sure watching it was one of the ticks that get checked off somewhere before I'm allowed to die. So thanks for putting me one step closer to death, Sopko.

[Cmdr_King]

So over the past few months I've been padding out the DVD selection I have, focusing on movies appropriate for small children since by and large I do most of my movie watching when small children are present.  Thus...

Monters, Inc- Cute movie.  There's really not a lot else to say about it.  It sets out to be just an adorable movie featuring a toddler and achieves that goal admirably.

Toy Story 2- This is the first Pixar movie I've seen that really felt like they were just making a movie for the sake of money.  Not to say there's not some good scenes, but it's very formulaic and just doesn't have the sort of soul their movies are known for.

Incredible Hulk- Hey something for older audiences.  Pretty decent.  I do like Ed Norton, and in general the movie is well-cast.  The action is a bit forced but that kinda makes sense; Hulk action scenes really should seem to come out of nothing.  Probably the weakest of the MCU movies, albiet it's better than Iron Man 2 in most ways but lacks Robert Downey Jr. as Robert Downey Jr. as a featured attraction.

My Neighbor Totoro (yes, anime, but lazy)- This is very different.  It's reminiscent of... like if you made a good parts version of having kids.  The movie really seems like that.  The contrast between mundane and fantastic works pretty well, and the kids are really fun to watch because, if it's not like how real kids act, it's like how you remember acting as a kid.  Cool stuff.

All-Star Superman- Not bad.  probably even better as a comic.  Should totally get that.

Beauty and the Beast- I haven't watched this in many years.  Some parts aren't as strong as memory has made them (Belle as a character is still alright, but a little more passive than I remembered), but what really sticks out about this movie is... not just the music itself, but how it's integrated into the film.  When a lot of other Disney films use music (and they do, the musical is their real forte), characters break into song because we've gone too long without a song and we need another song.  not always (Hellfire hype yo), but too often.  In Beauty and the Beast, the songs are very much the best way to convey a lot of story in an entertaining way.  Townsfolk talking about Belle behind her back would be sorta uncomfortable.  The entire town singing about their daily lives and how Belle doesn't fit conveys the same thing in a more transitional and interesting way. 
Gaston is the best singer.

[Idun]

CK, all great films (except I've never seen All-Star Superman, and I don't like most Toy Stories). Despicable Me is great. Happy Feet is worth of adult-child viewership. Cars 1 is funny (I'm Southern, get over it; Mater all the way). I believe you've already seen Up. I am impartial to Madagascar 2, but the Ice Ages are funny. Do not waste your money on Open Season, any number, whatsoever. I realize you're not asking for suggestions, but I love animation/kid's films. Actually, you may really enjoy Ratatouille.

[Grefter]

You should find a copy of Man Bites Dog.

[Shale]

Justice League: Doom - Pretty damn good. It's the cast of the old Justice League cartoon plus Nathan Fillion, so that's awesome, and the script manages not to give any of them short shrift. Good fights, good pacing, and it adapts a decently long (5 issues, I think?) plot from the comics into 70 minutes without feeling rushed. Best part: They took the best scene in All-Star Superman, which didn't make it into that movie because we live in a cruel and uncaring universe, and worked it damn near seamlessly into this one. Granted it ends differently, but Superman's part is there and that's what matters. It's "you're much stronger than you think," of course.

If I'm going to nitpick for flaws, there are a few issues with time. After the first round of fights, there's a scene that makes it feel like it's hours later, but then they cut back to the heroes and it's been at most ten minutes. Later on, I'm pretty sure the plot requires Superman to fly faster than light.

[DjinnAndTonic]

Snow White and the Huntsman - This was really really pretty. Particularly Charlize Theron and Chris Hemmsworth. Also, I think Kristen Stewart may have a use in movies - Action Chick. Niji turned me on to the whole idea - all she has to do is stand there in Plate Mail and look ANGRY. No dialogue or anything. It could be the only smart move she ever makes in her career.

Also: Forgot to mention that this was probably the worst movie I've seen in years. C-.

[Cmdr_King]

I don't think that'd work.  Eventually she'd get a close-up and her face would be stricken with that terrible disorder than forces her mouth to go slack and look like she's gone braindead whenever it's exposed to camera radiation for an extended period.

[Captain K.]

Note to casting directors:  If you're going to cast someone as "fairest of them all", please make sure she doesn't have buck teeth and a penchant for standing with her mouth agape.

[Shale]

Judging from Thor and Avengers, I was under the impression that that referred to Hemsworth.

[Sierra]

Later on, I'm pretty sure the plot requires Superman to fly faster than light.

Superman's speed is generally defined as however fast or the slow the plot requires him to move.

[Shale]

I did say I was nitpicking.

[DjinnAndTonic]

Judging from Thor and Avengers, I was under the impression that that referred to Hemsworth.

 

Objection! 

[Cmdr_King]

Maybe he meant Hemsworth was "Fairest of them all"?

Because he is pretty hot.

[Captain K.]

I'd hit it.

[Anthony Edward Stark]

Maybe he meant Hemsworth was "Fairest of them all"?

Because he is pretty hot.

It's Thor the Mighty, not Thor the Fair.  Vikings said so.

[Cmdr_King]

One of Thor's many hats was the god of boners.  He's obviously supremely masculine and handsome in addition to everything else.

[Jo'ou Ranbu]

Also: Forgot to mention that this was probably the worst movie I've seen in years. C-.

It amuses me that the worst movie you've seen in years is a mere C-, especially considering the source material.

[Cmdr_King]

Not really that surprising.  When you can selectively see whatever movies you want, and so so rarely, the selection criteria become so stiff that the odds of truly bad movies getting a watch in the first place become vanishingly small.  C- would indicate "just barely competent", which is a pretty good summary of that particular movie; there's some neat stuff in there but Stewart really drags things down and it's just ridiculous after a point.

[DjinnAndTonic]

I was actually just being a pretentious hipster and making lame social commentary that nothing is actually graded on a 10-point scale anymore, only translated to letter grades because I always think of eBay ratings due to the "A++ would buy again" meme.

Ergo, "WORST MOVIE EVER!" ..."A-" would probably have gotten my joke across more clearly, but Snow White and the Huntsman really was that bad in comparison to the usual "WORST MOVIE EVER" that "C-" is what it gets.


Ladies and Gentlemen, this joke has officially died and I am dancing on its grave.

[Cmdr_King]

Lesson being you suck at pretentious hipster and should stick to things you excel at, like hitting on Snow.