Movies

[Anthony Edward Stark]

El Cid, not only do I now believe you have no taste, but I hate you as a person.

[Grefter]

Next you will be saying Big Lebowski isn't good or something like that.

In other news, I half expect to see El Cid has just watched Lady Hawke and Legend within half a month.  Lay off the lame 80's fantasy dude, it will rot your brain.  (Or watch them and laugh)

[Sierra]

Next you will be saying Big Lebowski isn't good or something like that.

I should kill you for even suggesting this, but it would require effort (going to Australia and so on).

Seriously though, I remain baffled at Fifth Element hype. You knock one trashy movie and the whole board come down on you. Sad times.

In other news, I half expect to see El Cid has just watched Lady Hawke and Legend within half a month.  Lay off the lame 80's fantasy dude, it will rot your brain.  (Or watch them and laugh)

Nah, I was just tracking down stuff I hadn't watched since like the 80's. I've already seen Ladyhawke too many times in the recent past (my brother seems to think any movie with Rutger Hauer is automatically cool). Though, the wacky Alan Parsons soundtrack remains hilariously inappropriate (meanwhile, Legend has to make due with just one song by the singer from Yes).

[Taishyr]

DOA something or other: it sucked. Also, korean subtitles.

[BaconForTheSoul]

...how can you NOT like the Fifth Element?  Seriously, man. >_>

Yeah I was a bit late, but needed to be done regardless.

Umm been visiting home with a lack of anything to do, but watch free movies on HBO, On Demand, etc.  Seen these all before, but yeah.

Rush Hour 2- Not as good as the first, mildly amusing though.

Tuxedo- Yes, some channel had a Jackie Chan Marathon.  Umm, kinda fails action wise for a Jackie Chan movie, and JLH isn't hot enough to save the movie herself.

Biodome- Still fucking awesome

Overboard-  Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn (1987).  This movie is fucking awesome.  Had seen parts of it, but never the whole thing straight through.  Despite being an off the wall random romantic comedy or something, it still kicked ass.

Hostage- Entertaining action.  However, why do bad guys fuck with Bruce Willis or Harrison Ford?  If you mess with their families, their friends, or even the town they live in, they will crush you.

[Grefter]

There is a directors cut or something of Legend that uses the original more fitting (lame) fantasy score that was released in the US version according to Wiki (I had to look it up to clarify something in my head).  Also come to DL Con 3 and kill me there.

[Dark Holy Elf]

...how can you like the Fifth Element?  Seriously, man. >_>

Even more late than Mep, but fixed.

I mean, uh. There's worse. I can see finding it average, an amusing diversion of an action movie. <_< But at best there is nothing hypable about the movie. It's not especially notable in the annals of action movies, and it's certainly not getting any points for anything remotely serious. This is probably the first time I've ever seen it hyped as anything more than a 2-3 -star affair, despite actually paying attention to the movie scene back when it came out.

Granted, I can't get into a debate about it because I don't really remember any details any more, but I can see El Cid's reaction more than the rest of yours, from what little I do remember.

[Shale]

Stardust - Good stuff, as good as or better than the book on balance because the story's uncluttered enough to work as a movie. Aesthetics drew me in very well, casting was solid, good writing. Plus it has Robert De Niro, and Jesus Christ his scenes were hilarious.

Librarian: Quest For The Spear - B-movie fluff, and fine at it. It is to Indiana Jones as Read or Die is to James Bond.

[BaconForTheSoul]

...how can you like the Fifth Element?  Seriously, man. >_>

Even more late than Mep, but fixed.

I mean, uh. There's worse. I can see finding it average, an amusing diversion of an action movie. <_< But at best there is nothing hypable about the movie. It's not especially notable in the annals of action movies, and it's certainly not getting any points for anything remotely serious. This is probably the first time I've ever seen it hyped as anything more than a 2-3 -star affair, despite actually paying attention to the movie scene back when it came out.

Granted, I can't get into a debate about it because I don't really remember any details any more, but I can see El Cid's reaction more than the rest of yours, from what little I do remember.

It was a sci-fi, action, fantasy, drama, romance, comedy.  It is the only movie of that kind ever!

In reality, it was just a quirky movie that didn't really completely kick ass in one category, but it all seemed to work perfectly.  As I've said before, a good movie is one that keeps my mind from wandering during the movie.  This one did that and still manages to do it.  Logic need not apply!

[Hunter Sopko]

Librarian: Quest For The Spear - B-movie fluff, and fine at it. It is to Indiana Jones as Read or Die is to James Bond.

Whoa, someone else whose seen a Librarian movie. Can't remember which one I saw. I'm pretty sure it was King Solomon's Mines though.

[Veryslightlymad]

I've seen the first one. It was worth watching simply because at one point, Bob fucking Newheart kicks a guy's ass and then loudly shouts "Does anyone else want some of this?"

[Captain K.]

I've seen that.  Kind of lame.

[Captain K.]

The Forbidden Kingdom:  Maybe it was the theater I was in, but I could barely understand the dialogue.  Movie needed subtitles badly.  So I made up my own story for it:

SPOILARZ

Son Goku is kicking all of these stormtroopers asses up in the sky, because he is badass.  Ralph Macchio is dreaming about this and wishing he could wail like Goku.  Then Ralph Macchio watches the opening credits and gets pumped up!  But he gets his ass kicked by the kids from Joe Piscopo's karate school.

So Ralph Macchio goes to the old Chinese dude's pawn shop.  He wants to buy this staff, but the old dude only wants to sell him DJ Quack Quack.  So he goes and befriends Joe Piscopo's kids and they go shoot the old man.  Staff get!

Then Ralph Macchio falls off a building and into ancient China.  No, I actually didn't make that part up.

He meets Shun Di from Virtua Fighter, who proceeds to make his own combo video on some stormtroopers.  Then they go to a bar, where they fight some more stormtroopers.  But they have to run because Ralph Macchio sucks ass at fighting.  They get saved by Mileena from Mortal Kombat.

Shun Di talks about how the evil ruler Vegita is very evil.  He is so evil!  Vegita statuses Goku because Goku didn't take a stone-blocking accessory.

They all decide to go kick Vegita's butt and steal his wine.  Maybe just steal his wine.  The wine seems to be important.

So Ralph Macchio, Shun Di, and Mileena go riding together.  Ralph Macchio wants to learn to fight, but Shun Di doesn't have any cars to wax.  So he makes Ralph Macchio cut his lawn instead.

Then a dude in white steals the staff.  It turns out to be Lei-Fei from Virtua Fighter.  He and Shun Di fight to see who is a more broken character, but the fight ends when Ralph Macchio grabs the staff dramatically!

So they all go riding across a desert together.  Mileena talks about how she was dropped down a well like a baby from Texas.  Lei-Fei tells her that revenge is badong.  Then Lei-Fei gives Shun Di a golden shower.  Also not making that up.

Vegita is so evil!  He kills a messenger who interrupts his busy schedule of brushing the cheeks of women.  Then he tells a stormtrooper to go get that chick Sheeva from Mortal Kombat, because she's kind of hot.

The group makes it to Vegita's castle, but they stop, because they figure being in sight of the bad guy's castle is the safest place to train.  Sheeva shows up and kicks their asses.  She also rolls a natural 20 with her bow.

Ralph Macchio takes the staff and gives it to Vegita.  But he has to fight Sheeva first, and loses like usual.  Then all the monks from Big Trouble in Little China show up and start kicking all the stormtrooper's asses.  Lei-Fei fights Vegita, and loses because he forgets that iron spears are really sharp!  Shirt-ripper!  Shun Di drinks some good wine and gives Sheeva a bad hair day.  Mileena throws her Sai at Vegita, but he just Gallic Guns her into the next county.

Ralph Macchio hits the statue of Goku, who then comes back to life and wails on Vegita like a ninja guitar.  Vegita is thrown into a pit of fire that he made earlier, because he always wanted a pit of fire in his castle.

Then God shows up and blows Ralph Macchio.  Once again, not making that up.

Ralph Macchio goes back home and beats up the kids from Joe Piscopo's karate school,   which proves that Lei-Fei was wrong.  Revenge is gnodab!  He also meets Mileena, who now has a bad hair weave and some crappy designer-wannabe jeans.

THE END.

[BaconForTheSoul]

This is the best plot in the history of the universe.

[Cotigo]

This is the best plot in the history of the universe.

QFT

[Captain K.]

I'm waiting for someone else to see the movie and realize I made very little of that up.

[Fudozukushi]

He didn't, honestly.

[Captain K.]

Iron Man

Maybe not the best superhero movie ever made, but right now I honestly can't think of a better one.  Complete awesomeness.  The best thing about it is the believability.  You don't see a scene and think "that's bullshit".  They present it in a way to make everything realistic.

Also, be sure to stay until after the credits for more awesomeness.

Saw previews for the Incredible Hulk (looks bad), Spirit (done in the same art style as Sin City), and a new M. Night Shamalamadingdong movie called The Happening (which hopefully has Rerun in it).

[Grefter]

You would think everyone would know to stay through after comic book movie credits by now, they all freaking do that.

[Sierra]

Iron Man

Maybe not the best superhero movie ever made, but right now I honestly can't think of a better one.  Complete awesomeness.  The best thing about it is the believability.  You don't see a scene and think "that's bullshit".  They present it in a way to make everything realistic.

Also, be sure to stay until after the credits for more awesomeness.

Mostly seconded, though I'd put it below Batman Begins and X2. Don't really know anything about Iron Man from the comics, so I can't comment on what references were included/ left out (beyond "Call us S.H.I.E.L.D.," which was cool) but the movie is consistently fun. I especially liked seeing him fine-tune the suit after he gets back to the U.S., because I always enjoy watching the creative process at work, though seeing the suit in action was also pretty badass. Especially that "Oh shit, I didn't sign up for this" expression on all the mooks he mows down. And Robert Downey Jr.'s pretty good throughout. Goes from arrogant, spoiled brat to...well, still cocky wunderkind, but one with a mission (one that actually makes good on parallels to real life, even. Tony Stark vs. the military-industrial complex, go).

My only real gripe about it is that Jeff Bridges flat out inhales the scenery near the end of the movie. Very un-Dude.

Aaaand, I didn't stick around through the credits. What'd I miss?

Preview for Indy 4 before the movie, also (shut up, I hadn't seen it before). Looks promising.

[Captain K.]

IRON MAN SPOILERS (comic to movie etc.)

His origin is very faithful to the comic, substituting Afghanistan for the Korean War.  Don't read a whole lot of the comic myself, but most everything I saw was faithful.  The only major change is his archenemy.  In the comics, he was called The Mandarin and was a Chinese warlord with 10 magic (actually alien technology) rings of ass-kicking.  For the movie he became a random terrorist leader from a group called The Ten Rings.  Worked well enough for the realistic feel of the movie.

The after-credits scene is Tony walking into his house and Nick Fury is there wanting him to join the Avengers.  Nick Fury is played by Samuel Jackson, so apparently they're going with Ultimate Avengers.

END SPOILERS

[BaconForTheSoul]

MINOR SPOILERS, NOT REALLY IMPORTANT

1. Ironman/Tony Stark had better casting than anyone in any super hero movie to date.  Stark just wouldn't work with anyone else that I can think of, whereas almost any other superhero would work with a different actor.  Rhodes was solid, "The Dude" played a good bad guy.  Gwen... meh I wish they'd a just picked someone younger instead of trying to make her look 10 years younger than she is, but she did okay.

2. In terms of plot/character development/flow/etc. this movie once again raped any other superhero movie.  It also used humor properly and awesomenly... unlike say... Spider-Man, whose humor was pathetic, uncalled for, and not funny.

3. ONLY downsides were A. No Supervillain to fight.  I like seeing villains that can actually duke it out with the heroes.  His enemy at the end wasn't bad, but coulda been cooler.  B. When he crashes in his original armor... how the fuck does he survive when his armor is raped?  Also, how doe she survive when he slams into the wall while testing his new armor.  Obviously they were both done to look cool (and be funny) but still... probably shoulda toned those down a little bit to make them look survivable if nothing else.

So yeah.  Awesome casting, awesome plot, and awesome action.  Only very minor issues with this movie that don't really take away from it at all.  Probably my favorite superhero movie to date.  Avengers movie would kick ass too obviously.

[Captain K.]

Eh, other than Mandarin, Iron Man mostly fights industrial feebs like Iron Monger in his own comic, so that's pretty par for the course.  He does the supervillains in Avengers.

[BaconForTheSoul]

Eh, other than Mandarin, Iron Man mostly fights industrial feebs like Iron Monger in his own comic, so that's pretty par for the course.  He does the supervillains in Avengers.

Yeah, I was trying to think of a good supervillain for him to fight.  It'd be fun if he took on that Russian super team, but Russia isn't really a fun enemy in movies anymore.  (Vanguard, that Russian Iron Man, Ursa Major, and that chick.)

[metroid composite]

Iron Man.  Good.  Didn't really feel like a superhero movie...in that it felt more like a Bond movie.  Swanky main character who drinks heavily, gambles, and gets with lots of women.  Has lots of gadgets.  (All of this completely fits with Iron Man's comic continuity, of course, just usually when watcing a comic movie you get reminded that it's set in a comic universe, which wasn't a problem for Iron Man so much).  So...as a bond movie, it was pretty good--not as good as Casino Royale I'm thinking, but still better than most.

Gwen... meh I wish they'd a just picked someone younger instead of trying to make her look 10 years younger than she is, but she did okay.

I thought that was intentional.  At the start of the movie he has sex with the blond 20-something bimbo.  Gwen comes off looking 30-something and more responsible by comparison standing next to that girl, but still looking good enough that it's believable when he starts hitting on her.