Chaos>Chaz:
The brilliant light of judgement.
Pure.
Cleansing.
Holy...
---
"Okay, I get that Chaos keeps healing himself. But why is he healing Chaz when he tries to kill himself?" Rolf asked curiously.
"How should I know?" Celes replied testily. "All I know is that this match is literally going to take forever at this rate."
"...ahhh, yes, I recall this bet." Zio noted from his judges seat, with an air of disgust. "The great Profound Darkness and this lowly...thing called Chaos had a bet. Chaos claimed that so called "white" magic was just as capable of evil as the dark, destructive energies were."
"So he's trying to drive someone insane by healing them?" "Yeah, basically." "...that's actually not a half bad way to prove his point."
"Yes, but my idea of using revival magic to bring back old internet memes was better." Zio noted grumpily. "Imagine! All your base would truly belong to evil! You could not surviv-"
"..." Rolf sighed, as he blasted Zio into a wall with Megid.
---
Chaz woke slowly.
Where was he?
Why did he feel so strange?
And why was Raja in a bikini standing over him?
...
Raja in a bikini!?
---
"He keeps screaming about scantily clad Dezolisians." Rika sighed, as Chaz moaned and thrashed despite heavy sedatives.
"Well, three days of getting pummeled and healed can do that, I guess. Let's hope he snaps out of it. Otherwise, I'm going to have to start shaving my bikini area at this ra-" Raja was cut off.
"...No. Just no." Gryz stated, pressing his axe against Raja's neck firmly.
Yunalesca>Killer:
There's good news and bad news for Yunalesca here.
The good news is that she won in an incredibly boring slugfest match.
The bad news is that she was wrong.
Not *all* guardians can be turned into Final Aeons.
She'd so wanted to see the true, raw power Killer could have made possible.
Of course, the one that's really put out is Lady.
Even throttling Yunalesca to death with her bare hands simply didn't perk her up much.
Killer, meanwhile, is simply admiring the thoughtfulness of his girlfriend. I mean, it's one thing to kill the person that beat you up, but to get it taped? While being a mute? That's a lot of trouble. I guess the crazy ones sometimes are still keepers.
Suicune>Janus:
Janus had it!
He knew Suicune's weakpoint!
After all, he was but a Guardian, and he'd absorbed the powers of Guardians before, by raiding their homes!
Travelling over Johto would be a sinch for him! Then he'd ruin Suicune's source of power before the match began, and would have won before the match started!
---
<i>-I knew it. I knew he'd get stuck trying to grind a Hoothoot up to solo everything.</i> Mewtwo noted, as he watched Janus' desperate battle with Bugsy end in defeat, as he struggled his way towards the charred tower Suicune once had called home.
Suicune nodded solemnly, and departed for his token appearance at the arena.
Entei, Raikou, Ho-oh and Lugia were too busy laughing their asses off to make much commentary.
Have you ever <i>heard</i> legendary Pokemon laugh? Goes through you like a bone saw.
But it's not as if anyone can blame them, really.
Hahn>Alis:
The Profound Darkness was depressed.
Not that fun kind of depressed where it gets to cut it's self, the kind where it can really creep people out by playing Linkin Park.
No, it was <i>actually</i> depressed, not just faking it to screw with people's heads.
Losing a bet to Chaos, of all....things? On the evil of...that...detestable "white magic"? It was a travesty! The Profound Darkness hadn't misunderstood the evil potential of anything so badly since she'd decided Harry Potter couldn't <i>possibly</i> get popular enough to bother with mentally influencing it's author into more mentally shattering writing.
No, she needed something to perk her up.
And then she found it.
---
"Take that, minion of evil! Pretty Soldier Hahn Mahlay never loses to any evildoer!" Hahn shrieked wildly, flailing her baton at Alis.
Alis, now sporting 10 year old girl features, a long, flowing majestic beard, cat ears and a chainmail bikini, easily parried Hahn's blow, roared mightily, and counterattacked with a battleaxe.
The crowd simply sang along about how life was a cabaret.
And the Profound Darkness smiled.
She didn't know how the hell she'd ever survived before she found this place. Normal people didn't stay sane enough to heed her commands after she'd influenced them.
Ultimately, after a long, protracted makeout session which the judges(Luca Blight, Kefka and Ghaleon) gave 10/10, Hahn was declared the winner.
Now let us never speak of this ever again.
Oh, but there is one last thing to note.
Profound Darkness, after having her fun, recognized that true evil is really obtained by learning from one's mistakes.
And so, she jobchanged to Cleric.
Only 137,897,421 fights to go before gaining a job level.
Not very suited to it, but she has all the time in the universe. She'll get this down eventually.
Aika>Erk:
On the goooood ship.
Lollypop.
It's a sweeeeeet trip.
To a candy shop!
Where bon-bons play~
---
"Hah. So that's what happens when they don't have a physical attack and you whack them with this!" Aika crowed, as Erk pranced around the arena singing.
Aika barely had the heart to finish him off, but she ultimately decided that it was for the best, in the end. Kind of a mercy killing.
On the upside, Serra now can't get enough of Erk's singing.
Wait, that's not an upside.
