Two creatures.
Both indeterminate of sex and sanity.
Both capable of unspeakable deeds to get their way.
Both, in their own ways, horrific monsters.
There was only one way to settle such a match.
A pole-dancing contest!
---
"And remember," Jenna said calmly, tossing the Profound Darkness' battered hulk back into the judges box. "You really need to have enough power to <i>enforce</i> these kinds of matches." She said calmly.
Zio and Endora nodded dumbly in response.
Oblivious to the change of plans, a well-oiled giant-spiney-shelled beast attempted to wrap it's self around a fifty-foot-wide pole.
Ultimately, Lavos lost simply for being unable to adjust to plans quickly, as a Bhairava during it's pole dance proved.
Sadly for Lavos, he lost more when he was voted the Duelling League's Least Sexy Shelled Being.
As of now, Lavos is currently attempting to find and kill Bowser.