Okay, non-serious answers. I just linked up names for comedic value, and as far as I know every one of these is wrong, though I only know about two answers for sure, so don't rely on that. Also, attempted to be insulting to as many people as possible, so don't take it personally >_>.
1. In one of the first places I ever visited online, I was known for dropping pizza trucks on people.
Gotta be Taishyr. He needed some gimmick before "I hate China".
2. I used to have a toy poodle named 'Rocky'.
RobtheStampede. Totally seems like the person who'd name something after Rocky Balboa.
3. I am a world class salsa dancer!
Captain K. Salsa Dancing is so 70s; he's clearly the only candidate.
4. I graduated with a class of 15.
NotMiki. He grew up in New York, and therefore nobody would suspect him.
5. I didn't learn how to speak until I was five or six years old.
Ciato. I can totally see her communicating using complicated sign language. Involving heavy clubs. Yes.
6. Genetically speaking, I should be the finest musician in the DL.
WanderingMind. Person I don't know very well paired with hint I can't think of a good joke for; how can it go wrong?
7. As a young kid, I was put into a Sailor Moon costume and paraded around at school. For over half a day.
Damnit, where the hell is Dune when you need him? Oh, well, I'll guess myself here, since I think I still qualify as a little kid to the DL, and I can totally see someone forcing me to dress up as Sailor Moon next DLCon and forcing me to parade around a school. It could happen.
8. Attempted to go skydiving at the age of fourteen, only to have a seizure on board the plane.
DjinnandTonic. Clearly drank too much tonic before getting on the plane.
9. Due to a traumatic childhood accident, bamboo is my hated foe! You could still see the scar pretty well if not for my perpetual stubble.
Alanna. It hints at stubble, which suggests a male, but clearly this is misdirection and it's really talking about leg hair stubble!
10. I am a very friendly and open person to pretty much everyone but if you didn't know me you might just think I was just a major flirt.
Superaielman, definitely. How else are we supposed to respond to the whip fetish?
11. Recently, I was almost thrown into the drunk tank at the local police station, if it wasn't for a random friend who showed up at the last second and volunteered to take me home instead.
HunterSopko. I'm not sure whose local police department has a dunk tank, but New Jersey seems like a pretty good guess.
12. On my first day at my first job, I had to clean a pile of overflowing used tampons from the bathroom floor. I also managed to cut myself on a pickle jar and ended up needing stitches on my hand by the third day on the job.
TranceHime. After reading the TranceHime fanfiction, I'd believe that anything could happen in his life.
13. I named my first computer, "Sherm D. Computer".
Scar. Eh, cartoon related username => cartoon related computer name. It's not like my most recent computer isn't named after Touhou, for instance >_>
14. I once beat Ogre Battle in one sitting.
Gatewalker. If he can bake 400 cookies in one sitting, I'm sure he can beat OB in one sitting too.
15. My psychologist keeps calling me a lesbian.
Zenthor. Obviously attending anger management, and I think we've already determined that nothing placates Zenny quite like the word "lesbian".
16. In these recent times, as it turns out, I find myself writing in English; there is a problem, and that problem is a most dire one indeed. Whatever I write, whatever flows from my hands, be it formal, informal, fiction, non-fiction, or anything else, is written in the most peculiar Victorian style.
Bardiche. Makes me think of Shakespearian bards, and such.
17. Because of my intense hatred for certain persons, I hugged another man I hate and have lived to regret it.
ThePiggyman. Who knows what repressed emotions he has bottled up like this; let it all out.
18. I wanted to be all of these professions at some point during my younger years; archaeologist, astronaut, President, physicist, professional soccer player, economist, professional jewel thief and architect.
Clear Tranquil. Honestly, I looked at the list of proffessions and thought "that comes across as a fairly normal friendly person". Granted, my definition of "normal" and "friendly" is probably pretty weird, but hey >_>.
19. I have actually played The Longest Journey, but I don't want people to know that my machine can run PC games, or they might force me to play too many Good Games and I'm worried I'll never be able to enjoy JRPGs again.
Veryslightlymad. VSM seems sneaky enough to pull something like this.
20. I am descended from the Salem witches. Incidentally, I'm from the state they came from as well.
El Cideon. Well, I have three names left, and I know Hal's from Texas, so obviously by process of elimination...
21. Every major injury I've ever had was a result of a bike accident.
Ryogo. Two names left; IIRC Ryogo is Canadian. Over half the Canadians I keep in touch with bicycle as a primary mode of transportation.
22. I'm one of the few people in the group who like Phantasy Star 3.
Halbarad. I could cheat and look at one of my old RPG ratings spreadsheets on this computer, but what fun would that be? I know Hal's not cookie cutter DL opinion (top games are Crono Cross, Harvest Moon...or were top pre-Touhou at least), so hey, seems like a plausible guess.
