"Dear Dread Thomas. You're good at picking up the small hints, and you are an utterly lethal player. And boy, are we glad you always target yourself first. Don't worry, we love you as you are and hope you never change. Kisses, the Scum"
"Dear Quiet Rain. This is our admission of complete and utter respect for, and soul numbing fear of, your analytic abilities. Also, we don't like competition. Love, the Scum"
"Hey Smodge, liked the stats for showing us who to go for. But didn't like your tricks. All in all, don't blame us, but we're not too sorry to see you go. Sincerely, The Scum"
"To Unoriginal and IhatethisCPU, Okay. Regards, The Scum"
"Dearest Nitori: Shit, that really was an accident, we had hoped the noise for CK/VSM would divert enough attention. Um. Thanks so much for your help the first day, and we promise we'll win this for you. Love, your Scumbuddies"
"Dear CK. We're glad you didn't see anything. And, forgive us, but we'll be making sure you don't. Do, The Scum"
"Dearest Bobbin. You sir, are a legend amongst us, and your magic was truly of aid. Sadly all legends must die, especially when a cop slams a book in their face. We'll win it for you yet, though. Love, your Scumbuddies"
"Dear Yakumo. Though two eyes we can blind, your third eye yet saw true. So we had to be somewhat more thorough in shutting that one. Congrats on the catch, though. Love, the Scum"
"To Otter. Staying silent? Can't blame you, this is a mess! Still, we would like to ensure this silence... Regards, the Scum"
"Dear Corwin: Mmm, the oddball kill. We should have no-killed and let Kilgamayan sink Strago, but hey. You were also in the way. Hugs, the Scum"
"Hey, Mad Fnorder! The scum tried, they really did. But in the end, we couldn't save Death.
Just as well, we were betting you were a Beloved Princess. Ah well, the act was well and good. Kisses, the Scum"
"Dearest Shale, Well. So determined to use your head, you drown out what your gut says... Mmm, I suppose it's expected from a master of Headology. Still, perhaps removing your head will teach you to rely on your gut... in the afterlife. Love, the Scum"
"And you, Dearest Excal. I have but three words: being sick SUCKS. Love, your Scumbuddy"
"Ah, Hunter Sopko: I'm afraid that in this world of magic and Narrativium, we have no need of computers that can correctly analyze what people are. Plus, ew, mice. Regards, Scum"
"And to VSM, Kilgamayan, Carthrat and Strago...
well, I did what I could, but I'm afraid that it wasn't enough.
Oh, and our choice of humans to possess was simple! We took the ones that didn't taste like cardboard.
Still, you guys won fair and square. As a gift, I left you some almond pie on the counter! Do try a slice, it's quite tasty.
Love, Taishyr -Scum"