Without even knowing what or why it was, I was heavily influenced by gay culture, which provided me, and many other straight young men, a wide variety of templates for manhood that are at once unmistakably masculine, playfully ironic, aesthetic, emotionally open, and happily sexual. You can be manly and care about shoes!!! I’ll confess that I used to periodically regret my heterosexuality because there seemed to be greater scope for constructing a distinctive and satisfying male identity within gay culture.
THE GAYS ARE EMOTIONALLY OPEN AND NON STEREOTYPED LET ME GO MAKE AN OVERARCHING ASSUMPTION ABOUT AN ENTIRE SUBCULTURE
Um, what? There's at least 5 major gay subcultures that I can name offhand, ranging from very similar to heterosexual males to Bears to beefcakes to flamers and so on. I'm only really aware of one or two heterosexual male cultures. So...yes, it seems perfectly reasonable that gay culture would provide a wider spectrum of templates for masculinity, since there seem to simply be more subcultures.
Frankly, I find the fact that you're arguing otherwise kinda weird. When is more selection bad?
But most of us have not yet given up on oppressively restrictive, strongly normative conceptions of hetero masculinity. That, I submit, is what stands in the way of a real, um … renaissance for men.
Mmm yes clearly men embrace a standard of masculinity that is completely wrong, clearly these white males suffer greatly and can only overcome their emotional traumas with a dose of 'the gay', as he's implying. What the fuck? *Reads other columns of his*
Again, I'm confused at your objection here. In the reverse direction I know quite a few women who want to get married, get pregnant, and be a stay-at-home mom and do that with their life. It's actually very common in certain regions, and there's nothing wrong with that template. Where you do get a social problem is if all women are expected and pressured into acting this way (as was the case in the 50s). Quite a few women will be okay with this, but other women will not.
Similarly, not all men are comfortable in the heteronormative definition of masculinity. This isn't calling the heteronormative definition
wrong, in fact for a number of men it will still be the right fit; just not all men.