The Body ThiefLestat: "So...despite what I said at the end of the last book about everyone staying on Armand's island? Yeah nevermind: everybody left Armand's island."
Lestat: "Hey David, wanna become a vampire?"
David Talbot: "For the thousandth time, no."
Lestat: "I'm going to kill myself now."
David Talbot: "NNNnnnnooooooooooooooooooo!"
Lestat: "I failed, but check out this bitchin' tan."
Body Thief: "Hey, Lestat, we can switch bodies."
Lestat: "I can be human?
??"
David Talbot: "Don't do it. Do you really want an evil psycho who forced some poor man out of his body to have that much power?"
Lestat: "I'm totally going to do it anyway. Because I'm the James Bond of vampires! I break rules!"
Body Thief: "I steal everything. I engage in petty thievery at every opportunity. Oh but don't worry--you can get me to switch back with you by baiting me with money. I think I've demonstrated that I'm shallow by this point, so 10 million dollars will totally get me to switch back!"
Lestat: "Sounds good to me. OMG A DOG. SO CUTE! Anyway, we switching?"
Body Thief: "Yep."
Lestat: "Hey, where's the money I stored?"
Body Thief: "Yoink! Told you I was petty."
Lestat: "Hey, aren't we supposed to switch back now?"
Body Thief: "Yoink! Told you I was petty."
Lestat: "Give me food please."
Waitress: "Get out bum! Wait...is that your dog?"
Lestat: "Yes."
Waitress: "Oh, well in that case, have some wine and veal. And sex later."
Lestat: "Is it later yet?"
Waitress: "Wait, put on a Condo--"
Lestat: "LEEEROYYY JEEEENNNKIIINS"
Waitress: "Stop! Stop! Rapist!"
Lestat: "So...I hate this constant eating, shitting, peeing, coldness, and aches and pains. But the sun is awesome. I'm going to stand outside and bask in the sun."
Stranger: "Dude, you're going to freeze to death."
Lestat: "It doesn't matter today. I..." *falls over*
Lestat: "I'm talking with Claudia."
Claudia: "You're totally going to have sex with that nun."
Gretchen: "You know, you could atone for this past life by spending your current human life saving lives like I am. I imagine you could save just as many lives as you've previously taken."
Lestat: "Tempting offer, but I'm too much of an attention whore. I don't think I could live in a life where I wasn't center stage."
Gretchen: "OK whatever, let's have sex."
Lestat: "Done."
Lestat: "Louis! I know you're going to help me. Make me a vampire again!"
Louis: "You have...exactly what I wanted, and a perfect chance at redemption by living with Gretchen. No, Lestat, I can't take that away from you; you'll thank me later."
Lestat: "WHAT? When have I ever denied anything to you?
" *burns down house*
(Incidentally, he denied a lot to Louis in Interview, like...refusing all information about other vampires. So uhh >_>)
Lestat: "David, you have to help me!"
David Talbot: "Well, despite being a prim and proper 75 year old British gentleman...I want to have sex with you."
Lestat: "Oh, cool, my bed or yours?"
David Talbot: "Wait! We don't have time just yet. We may need to act fast to get your body back."
David Talbot: "And this is how you get back into your body."
Lestat: "OK, got it. Can we have sex now?"
David Talbot: "I really, really want to, but I'm just too British."
Lestat: "Got my body back! I wonder what happened in the fight between David Talbot and the Body Thief. Ah whatever, I'm going to go visit Gretchen."
Lestat: "Hi Gretchen. Everything I said was true, and you said you wanted to know."
Gretchen: *MENTAL BREAKDOWN*
Lestat: "Weird. Earlier in the book I had concluded this was an amazingly strong character who wouldn't be driven insane. That sucks."
Lestat: "Hey David Talbot, so how did the fight go."
David Talbot?: "My shots missed, he got away. Hey make me a vampire."
Lestat: "ok"
David Talbot?: *is really the Body Thief in a different stolen body.*
Lestat: *kills*
Body Theif Talbot: "What? You weren't supposed to kill me! I didn't think you'd kill David Talbot's body."
Real David Talbot: "Actually, I'm cool with being in the body of a 26-year-old with a huge penis."
Lestat: "Oh, glad that worked out. We can't be together, though."
David Talbot: "What, why?"
Lestat: "Because I want to make you a vampire and you keep telling me no
."
This book...doesn't really take many risks with the setting; which is fine. But it actually manages to have a few setting holes (it calls Maharet and Mekare "the oldest of us all", when in actuality Khamayan would be the oldest--seeing as how he's the one who transformed Mekare). And...I already commented on how becoming a vampire involves the blood-drinker spirit to chain your soul to your body, so...soul swapping between a human and a vampire is...rather weird.
Characters I actually liked...Gretchen is awesome; although I don't like her reaction to the final reveal (the book spends so much time portraying her as amazingly mentally stable for a human, and totally ready for such information). Mojo (the dog) is awesome. The body thief...his entire personality is "I'm the ultimate kleptomaniac", which despite its one-dimensionality can be highly entertaining when taken to such extremes. Everyone else...
Lestat comes across as such a whiner in this book. Whines about wanting to be human...and then once he is whines about everything to do with being human. (And gets copious amounts of sex in situations where he's not even looking for it, which is just weird). David Talbot is...why does he hang out with Lestat? The reason given in the book seems to be the danger-factor and Lestat's sex appeal. These are shallow reasons to start with, but he also refuses sex from Lestat, and has dangerous things he's always wanted to do in South America, so...zuh? I'm wondering if I actually don't have a good read on him. Louis is...quite consistent with his earlier books; still unlikeable! Claudia...somehow she left basically no impression on me; she was taunting Lestat and uhh...past that I don't remember much of what she did, or why she was there; half of it was re-playing book 1 scenes; most of the rest was just a peanut gallery commenting on stuff that was actually happening.
Overall...enjoyed this a fair bit less than 2 and 3. (2 > 3 >> 4 >> 1 for my current opinion?) The new stuff of value introduced into the setting was...honestly more to do with "here's how being human comes across to a Vampire", which is somewhat novel--the other way around (fledgling vampires describing their new experiences) has been done frequently by more than one author, so it was a nice twist. But...the general not really liking the characters was an issue. Yes, there's Gretchen (who...may well manage to be my favourite character in the series) and...a couple of one dimensional characters who make momentary appearances. But those are small parts of the book.