Correct! The answer is Bobbery from Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door.
1.) My body is a weapon
Bobbery is a Bob-omb. You know what those do.
2.) I am still mourning the loss of my true love
His wife Scarlette died several years ago, and he is still grieving over her loss
3.) Just by looking at me, you would think that I'd just keep turning around in circles, but that's not the case.
The steering wheel attached to his back is always turning in the same direction, so you'd think he would just keep walking around in circles...
4.) Apparently that thing attached to my back is just there for decoration. It serves no practical purpose whatsoever.
...but apparently it's just there for decoration.
5.) If you think my partner's facial hair is impressive, you obviously haven't seen mine
Bobbery's mustache > Mario's mustache. It's true.
6.) I don't mind sharing a ship with a ghost, even if that ghost was a bloodthirsty pirate back in the day
The ghost pirate Cortez lets Mario and company use his ship so they can travel between Rogueport and Keelhaul Key. For being a ruthless pirate lord, he sure is friendly.
7.) Captain? Harrumph! I am an admiral, thank you very much.
Self-explanatory. Bobbery is an admiral.
8.) The port town I live in is very dangerous -- rogues, thieves, and scoundrels prowl the streets unchecked
Bobbery lives in Rogueport
You're up, Flaya.
