Bingo! The Cid gets it.
1. Fear the ninja skillz...
He throws shuriken for his attack.
2. ...even after all those defeats...
You fight Janus' flunkies three times, all fairly easy fights.
3. ...and my boss being way more competent, even though he's not a ninja...
Janus is the only member of the team that's at all dangerous. And Janus isn't a ninja.
4. Okay, so I'm not really a ninja, but at least I can keep my fly zipped!
Self explanatory.
5 would been "Hey, at least I share a name with a famous horror director."
Take it!