Has to be Popoi.
Bingo!
1) I could've been a star, if I hadn't gotten dragged into this saving-the-world thing.
When you first meet Popoi, he's making money by pretending to be an abandoned orphan. He brags about his acting skills after bilking Randi out of some cash.
2) Of course, with the tricks I learned, I could probably put on a mean special-effects show; sometimes even I don't know what they're going to do!
He picks up a lot of spells during the course of the game, including Moon Magic, which has a randomized effect.
3) The acting career probably wouldn't have worked out anyway - I've got the talent, but nobody ever casts a short guy.
He's a sprite. They're short.
4) What the...I'm supposed to be the cannon in this team - I should be the one in Godlike!
Purim, the support spellcaster, is in Godlike. Popoi, who gets nothing but offensive magic and can stunlock anything with pure damage, is in Heavy.
5) It's the bow, isn't it. I should have known that weapon wasn't going to impress anybody.
His default weapon is the bow.
Your ball, Elf.
