Jenna>Xenobia
"... Magus ..."
"... Magus ..."
"...WAKE UP, YOU LAZY CAT-FOR-BRAINS!" Marle screamed into his ear. "You're missing it all- wow, that was a nasty left hook!"
Magus yawned. "Come on, it's just Jenna and Xenobia pulling cheap tri-"
The arena was massively impacted. Ruins and debris lay everywhere as the two fighters raged at each other, wrestling and pinning and blasting away with magic straight into each other's faces. Magus blinked.
And then blinked again.
"Wait, neither Jenna nor Xenobia are trying dirty tricks?"
"They originally just planned a slugfest, but then Xenobia spiked her fist with magic, so Jenna Debilitated her and the match devolved from th-...OW." As Jenna's Bhairava went straight through Xenobia's chest, Marle whistled. "Damn, guess that makes Jenna the winner. Shiny fight, though."
"...shiny?" Magus muttered, before reporting the match results.
Timelord>>>Kuja
"Hmph." "Hmph."
The two stood, calmly facing each other.
"Hmph." "Hmph."
"..........." Yuna simply stared, dumbfounded, as Rikku played with a yoyo. "Isn't this... the seventh hour...?"
"Yup. You didn't miss much, Paine's out for her break." Rikku yawned a bit, walking the dog. "So. Neither's moved."
"...this is inane." Yuna muttered, sitting in her chair.
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"...isn't there a time limit on matches?" Rikku wailed. Paine, reading Hot Rump, did not immediately respond, prompting further wailing from Rikku. She had already rebraided her hair. Three times.
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"Do these two have nothing better to do...?" Paine grumbled, eyeing the clock as midnight swept past. "I'd like to make them hurt, but... can't interfere in the damn match... feh."
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"Got any eights?" "Go fish. Rikku, got any fives?" "Hehe, go fish!" "Feh..." "Yunie, got any jacks?" "Go fish." "Awww."
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Rikku looked over at the dozing Paine at the judges' desk. "How can she fall asleeeep here, Yunie?"
"You expect me to know?" Yuna shrugged. "Let's just hope this damn thing resolves sometime within the next centur- wait. Where'd they go? And where's Timelo-"
"I'm over here." The two jumped and turned toward the door to see Timelord drop an unconscious Kuja on the floor. "He fell asleep. Thus, I believe I am the victor?"
"Sure, whatever." Yuna blurted out. "You can win. But how did you stay standing for so long?!"
"...So long? It was but a few minutes." Timelord grinned. "Even his ego cannot stand for that lon-"
As Timelord ducked Paine's blade, Rikku rolled in and grabbed Timelord's head. "A FEW MINUTES?!?! YOU'VE HAD US HERE FOR FIFTEEN HOURS, YOUUUUUUUU---------!!!"
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Timelord was reported the victor, but had to be resurrected due to having been turned to a pile of smoldering nuclear ash. Kuja, comparatively, was lucky.
Ashton>Teddie
"Oh, they're so kyuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute!" Teddie squealed, scratching Ururun's neck. "How'd you get these? Can I get two, too? Oh, I do so want some! I can't bear this, hehehehe!"
Teddie ended up throwing the match, defeated and awed by the power of "kyute" the dragons possessed. Ashton, clueless, still accepted the win willingly.
Yulie>Setzer
"To harm a beauty as fair as yours...? I cannot do it, not in this way. Let us settle this with a coin flip, mademoiselle?" Setzer crooned. Yulie, for her part, was offended.
"Look, I don't know what you want from me, but stay the hell away!"
"Come now. It's simple. Call it in the air-" Setzer flipped the coin- "Heads, or taOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW"
Yulie finished digging her heels into Setzer's foot. "You are a piggish man and should be ashamed of yourself!"
"...m-my-myfoo-fooooot..." Setzer muttered, clutching it in pain.
"Hmph. Get out of here, and do not return! I don't want to see your face again!"
Setzer left the field post-haste, leaving Yulie the victor.