Good Xorning, 2008!

[Otter]

cry for attention

Hey, you know what's stupid?  Posting death threats towards people you know in real life on the internet.  It's not just a horrible idea for reasons of, you know, documenting evidence that you were actually thinking about murder at one point (and trust me, if it doesn't bother anybody else, it will bother you sooner or later), 'cause you know what?  I sure as hell don't want to read it, either.  The second you turn on the melodramatic "oh god i am so lost" act, I start ignoring you, because everybody has felt that way and a good number of 'em have talked exactly like that as a result.  But when you get around to saying that you actually want to vent your generic teenage frustrations by killing people, my apathy turns into disgust.

Grow up and keep this garbage out of my sight.

[Clear Tranquil]

Good Morning thread is apparently not a good place to document how badly you are feeling. Pain/mental trauma in any form should never be mocked. Granted neither should death. So I can see why people would be angry either way - but -

Topic needs more HUGS and love >.>

[Hunter Sopko]

Good Morning thread is apparently not a good place to document how badly you are feeling. Pain/mental trauma in any form should never be mocked. Granted neither should death.

Thats what blogs are for.

[Cmdr_King]

Because Good Morning totally isn't the DL's collective blog.  Nope.

[Excal]

Because, hey, when you're feeling alienated, alone, and like the world is against you.  You're frustrated, have no clue what to do, and just want to vent in the worst of possible ways.  Then, obviously, saying that you've hit this point to a bunch of people you've been hanging with for a while, and who might just be able to understand you is the worst possible thing you could ever do.

>_>

Leaving Otter's bile aside, I don't really have any solid advice for you.  While I was bullied a bit back in elementary, I don't think I ever had it as bad as you did.  I mean, there was never anything sexual about what I faced, and while there was definatly an element of my not fitting in, I wasn't able to fully comprehend that situation enough to actually feel like that was something deficient in myself, or really, to judge it in any manner.

That said, yeah.  If the authorities won't do anything, and you can't leave, then that means that you've got two options.  Fight where you can, and when it'll do any good.  And endure what you have to.  And know that if you need to vent, there's some folks here who'll listen to you, and do what we can to help.  But, I honestly do hope you can find someone over where you are who can do the same thing.  As neat as the internet is, it's no replacement for flesh and blood people who can be there when you need them.

[Jo'ou Ranbu]

Excal says good stuff, yes.

Although I kinda do have to wonder what exactly you're trying to get out of this venting to us, Trance. Because... truth be told? We can't really help you. Patting you in the head and going "isn't it sad Sacchin ;_;" will be as helpful as watering plastic flowers, and it could even let you wallow into self-pity further. Which is as big a trap as they come. You're 15 and angst rages over, yes, we've all been through this. The issue with you is far worse due to the fact that you're suffering sexual harassment as well, though, and that is something that I believe at least most of us didn't have to face during those years. But, the thing is...

Life won't stop its gears for a single person. No matter what. And crying over this won't get you anywhere. If you don't want to be left behind, you'll have to grit your teeth and stand your ground at some point. But we can't tell you how to do that, we don't know in practice what you've been through. It doesn't sound nice, does it? That's because it isn't. And it won't be easy, you'll have to get burned and you'll have to feel pain, particularly considering what I know of your specifics. But that's just how it is: when push comes to shove, there's no easy way out around life. I can tell you're seriously hoping there is and you just can't see it and someone will drive you through that smooth and nice, but sorry. No dice. And, while Otter had no freaking business flaming you to hell, he has a point - moaning homicidally will just hamper your situation further, and, unless you're an ammoral monster, it probably doesn't match what you really want, just shows your frustration in a more visceral manner. This doesn't help, though, and if people get a hold of this, they will hold it against you instead of holding it against the people who hurt you. I seriously don't know what could you possibly do other than trying the routes you say you can't - you'll probably have to anyway, you can't just take it like a doormat all the time. What I do know is that this cry won't reach the right ears as is. I'm sorry, but we can't help you anymore than this, and that's assuming this helps at all. You'll have to get through this mostly by yourself, if not entirely by yourself.

[superaielman]

Pretty much agree with Snow. Not only is it stupid to leave a public record of something like this around, it does no good and just comes off as looking for pity.  It *is* easy for me at 25 to say these kinds of things to you, or even Otter at 18/19. It doesn't change how little this will help you though- it isn't you venting, it's coming off as disturbing and attention seeking. You have to talk to someone in some form of authority to deal with it or deal with it on your own. You really need to at least be talking to someone in your own age range about this.  Edit: It bears repeating since it looks like I'm just blowing you off, but there's nothing we can really say or do that can have an impact. We've given the best advice we can, at this point you have to do something to fix the problem or else it's just going to get worse in every sense of the word.

School related: Lab cancelled for the first two weeks. This means I have a couple of hours to kill since I'm way too lazy to drive home. Fun.

[TranceHime]

._.

Yeah, now that I've slept it off I do realize that I was going way too far. Yes, my little act of melodrama was probably uncalled for and I should've placed that somewhere else instead of here... Man, to think that the last time I did an attenton whoring act was several years back. Totally my fault, guys. Sorry.

Just... that time, I really was actually bawling my eyes out, I really didn't know shit on how I was going to react to that kind of feeling, and, being the teenager that I am, reacted the way I did. This is really my doing, and maybe it'd be better if I just not talk about this anymore.

Yes, I was a fool for my outburst and putting things in the wrong place. But we all have our moments of idiocy.

Thanks.

EDIT: I usually don't say horrid things like wanting to kill people unless I'm really over the edge, so that was also partly why I said what I said. Yes, partly because it was pretty stupid of me because I didn't really consider of others, but also because, well. That part's self-explanatory.

[Clear Tranquil]

^^ *huggles*

Sooo ... just got back from A + E. I haven't had any time to relax or think about it until now but now that I have I'll take the time to let it sink in and then get over it.

--WARNING - DON'T READ IF YOU HAVE A SENSITIVE STOMACH--

Basically what happened was sister and I were chatting in the kitchen, about what exactly has gone completely out of my mind. Anyway she was also refilling her hamster food/water and wasn't really paying attention to where she was walking. Next thing I knew she was leaning on my chair, then she stumbled, I ask her if she's ok, she looks at her foot and starts screaming, I'm like wtf, what is it, etc, she's all like OMG look the blood, the blood! I look ... and ugh the blood is squirting out in great big drops ... it was as scary as hell. By this point sis is calling for mom, mom is taking her own sweet time getting there so I'm shouting on her too. Yay hysterics.

Mom gets there, asks what's wrong, I point to the floor. Mom takes control, gets material, applies pressure to the wound. There's all this blood on the floor and I felt sick, I nearly was sick, I headed for the sink a couple of times but I manage to stop myself from being sick, I had to try to calm myself down and explain what happened and I'm also trying to calm sis down, telling her she's going to be ok, no she's not going to die etc, rubbing her back and what not. We get a chair so she can put her foot up on it, hold the foot up, keep the pressure on it, tell her to hold her head down, etc. I don't want to think about anything so I try to make myself useful by cleaning up the blood. Mom and I both take turns at keeping the pressure on the foot as well.  Once the bleeding had slowed down we took a look at the wound, trying to see if there was anything stuck in it, etc. Then we have a discussion on whether we should seek medical advice. Mom didn't think the wound looked that bad but sis wanted reassurance from the professionals and I was all for taking it seriously if that was what it would take for her to calm down to rest.

Sis kept going into hysterics since everytime we removed pressure from the foot blood started welling up again,  so in the long run mom finally called her dad and he took us up to A+E. She had to have an X-Ray and then they glued her wound shut. She couldn't walk on it or anything, mom and I had to support her as she hopped to the tiolet and I supported her down the stairs and into her dad's car, then into the hospital and back.

Somewhere in the middle of all this drama, I hear my mobile ringing. Which of course is hidden deep in my zipped coat pocket. By the time I'd realised that my phone was ringing and retrieved it from my pocket I'd missed the call. Sorry Super!

[Otter]

CT: ouch.  Glad the people around more or less kept their heads, treated it with pressure, and got help.  I'm technically proficient in first-response wound care but I'm also a huge wuss around actual blood, which can sometimes make me nauseous on sight.  Fortunately I haven't had too many actual emergencies to deal with.

Trance: it's cool.  People have dark moments.  My reaction was blunt and to the point because that's how I am, and for the record it was nothing personal.

[Ultradude]

Go ahead and take my post into account anyways >_>

I hear people having problems and immediately jump into 'try and help' mode instinctively, so at least... uh... didn't waste time on something that was difficult to write since I'm pretty natural at making stuff like that <_<

Saw Foreigner live the other day. Kelly Hansen, the current singer, is great, and Jason Bonham is a lovely drummer. My uncle is the bassist for Half Tempted, who opened for 'em, so it was cool seeing him up on a pretty big stage like that. Fun stuff and such!

[superaielman]

Ouch. Hope your sister's okay.

[Sierra]

In unrelated news, my boss tilded in an email today.

The Nitoris have taken over. The end is nigh.

[VySaika]

There ARE correct uses for that symbol. If it was a correct usage, we might still be safe.

[AAA]

Kill your boss. Just to be safe.

[Sierra]

There ARE correct uses for that symbol. If it was a correct usage, we might still be safe.

It wasn't. It was at the end of a sentence saying something along the lines of "Good job." There's really no way to take it but NITORISM.

[Anthony Edward Stark]

So what exactly happened to result in all this blood, anyway? Knife fall off the counter, maybe?

[Talaysen]

In unrelated news, my boss tilded in an email today.

The Nitoris have taken over. The end is nigh.

My supervisor also has done that in something we use for work, not an email though.  And yes, it was also at the end of a sentence.

[Luther Lansfeld]

Haha. That's great. >_> (Maybe your boss IS Nitori?)

[Talaysen]

Haha. That's great. >_> (Maybe your boss IS Nitori?)

Dun dun DUN!

[AAA]

Haha. That's great. >_> (Maybe your boss IS Nitori?)

Kill your boss. Just to be safe.

[Jo'ou Ranbu]

Haha. That's great. >_> (Maybe your boss IS Nitori?)

Dun dun DUN!

I feel this needs a tilde or two for emphasis. So:

~~

This is funny, regardless.

[Dunefar]

Trance: It's been said a few times now, but buck up. It's not the nicest advice in the world but it is the correct advice. The suffering of teenage angst is great, yet it has to be kept within reasonable limits.

Cid: You must kill your boss and kill Nitori. Do it. You must stop the plague at it's source now!

[Clear Tranquil]

Thanks guys~

Otter yeah I felt quite nauseous myself for a while. True be told I acted like a complete moron for a couple of minutes and lost my head by shouting on our mother along with my sister instead of trying to stop the blood right away myself but on the plus side I think that if mom hadn't been in the house I would have been able to handle the situation. Luckily I calmed down quickly and was actually able to help my mom out with the situation and my sister by being there. I'm good at being sympathetic whereas mom was all business and a bit gruff in manner. Sis needed both I think. Though mom reacted great off the bat her panic kind of kicked in later with her not being sure what to do about sending sis to the hospital and what not. I think I did the right thing by being firm on the seeking professional advice stance since there is only so much someone who isn't trained in such things can do. Sis wanted it as well and I recognised the importance of getting her calmed down by supporting her so yeah.

Mum has worked in hospitals and various other areas related to the care profession as a care assistant all her live and she has had *some* basic first aid training but nothing specialist in that area. She took first aid a while ago though so I think she's forgot most of it >.> She did well considering. I feel like taking a first aid course myself now >.>

Rob - It was a sharp piece of enamel from a broken drink holder (one of the things you put your glass on to stop any spills marking surfaces underneath) It was quite sharp yeah. No idea how it got to be lying on the floor or how the damn thing got to be broken in the first place but I think it must have been angled to a degree that it pierced her straight up ... and guess it must have struck an easily gushable part of something. I mean both of us have had tacs or things stuck in our foot before and nothing like that has ever happened <.<

[superaielman]

Metroid: Need to talk to you on AIM/IRC tonight about site stuff (Need you to put up a fact center for me)