Author Topic: Desmond & Dragons - A DnD Chronicle  (Read 24693 times)

Excal

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Re: Desmond & Dragons - A DnD Chronicle
« Reply #175 on: January 15, 2010, 09:25:13 PM »
What are you talking about.  You tossing your cat down there was how they discovered it was bottomless.  And technically, it's not even bottomless.  It's only about 15ft or so deep and then you hit the bottom.  Of course, given that the bottom is the cessation of Time/Space such as non-wizards understand the stuff, I suppose it does technically count as bottomless to you guys.

Finally, technically it's not a cat.  Well...  not any more at least.  I mean, it used to be a cat, until it got molested by overly friendly abberrants, and then it got taken in by Marza who kept it from dissolving into a shapeless bit of ooze harmful to all Euclidean based life by giving it a bit of his soul, and has since adapted it into a part of himself.  I personally think he's using the cat to give the part of himself that he hates form that he might abuse it more effectively.  Very efficient that.

Jo'ou Ranbu

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Re: Desmond & Dragons - A DnD Chronicle
« Reply #176 on: January 15, 2010, 09:29:17 PM »
So, Marza CQ4 involves a cat falling forever?
[01:08] <Soppy-ReturningToInaba> HEY
[01:08] <Soppy-ReturningToInaba> LAGGY
[01:08] <Soppy-ReturningToInaba> UVIET?!??!?!
[01:08] <Laggy> YA!!!!!!!!!1111111111
[01:08] <Soppy-ReturningToInaba> OMG!!!!
[01:08] <Chulianne> No wonder you're small.
[01:08] <TranceHime> cocks
[01:08] <Laggy> .....

Excal

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Re: Desmond & Dragons - A DnD Chronicle
« Reply #177 on: January 15, 2010, 09:31:33 PM »
Nah.  It came back the very next day.

Jo'ou Ranbu

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Re: Desmond & Dragons - A DnD Chronicle
« Reply #178 on: January 15, 2010, 09:36:26 PM »
I'm still utterly amazed at the brilliant show of foresight Alexander had, though. It's like the third story about players willingly jumping into their falling death in DnD that drops by my ears.

EDIT: I mean, it ended up being sorta bait-and-switch, but it's still utterly hysterical.
« Last Edit: January 15, 2010, 09:39:24 PM by Jo'ou Ranbu »
[01:08] <Soppy-ReturningToInaba> HEY
[01:08] <Soppy-ReturningToInaba> LAGGY
[01:08] <Soppy-ReturningToInaba> UVIET?!??!?!
[01:08] <Laggy> YA!!!!!!!!!1111111111
[01:08] <Soppy-ReturningToInaba> OMG!!!!
[01:08] <Chulianne> No wonder you're small.
[01:08] <TranceHime> cocks
[01:08] <Laggy> .....

Excal

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Re: Desmond & Dragons - A DnD Chronicle
« Reply #179 on: January 15, 2010, 10:02:50 PM »
Yeah, he was kinda lucky that I had prepared for the party failing on the platforming (they eventually had the third member roll really well on their perception check, and I didn't make it a skill challenge like I should have) because some of them have invested in neither Athletics or Acrobatics.  Well, that, and it's a Good aligned guild, and not an evil one.

I don't think he'd have liked his choice much if it had been an evil aligned guild.

But yeah...  the fact that he stated that he was going to jump, right after I finished describing how Marza's cat had dissapeared, and was in the middle of describing the fact that it was not coming back, and his usual tricks weren't working boggles the mind.  Even a quick, 'you sure' got hearty confirmation.  So...  yeah.

Then again, knowing he wasn't going to get hurt, I didn't feel any great need to stop him.

Jo'ou Ranbu

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Re: Desmond & Dragons - A DnD Chronicle
« Reply #180 on: January 15, 2010, 10:05:07 PM »
Yes. This just reminded me of one particular story: one of my friends GMed a game where his PCs were walking on the clouds and found a floating castle. The immediate action of one of his players was to jump off the clouds for no discernible reason. Ten seconds later, he was handed a new character sheet.
[01:08] <Soppy-ReturningToInaba> HEY
[01:08] <Soppy-ReturningToInaba> LAGGY
[01:08] <Soppy-ReturningToInaba> UVIET?!??!?!
[01:08] <Laggy> YA!!!!!!!!!1111111111
[01:08] <Soppy-ReturningToInaba> OMG!!!!
[01:08] <Chulianne> No wonder you're small.
[01:08] <TranceHime> cocks
[01:08] <Laggy> .....

Sierra

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Re: Desmond & Dragons - A DnD Chronicle
« Reply #181 on: January 16, 2010, 01:29:52 AM »
Nah.  It came back the very next day.

Win, Excal. So much win.

Jo'ou Ranbu

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Re: Desmond & Dragons - A DnD Chronicle
« Reply #182 on: January 16, 2010, 02:06:43 AM »
Cats have nine lives and all. You should have waited until the third day so they could call the kitten medieval fantasy Jesuscat, though. That would give material for icanhascheezburger.com for centuries.
[01:08] <Soppy-ReturningToInaba> HEY
[01:08] <Soppy-ReturningToInaba> LAGGY
[01:08] <Soppy-ReturningToInaba> UVIET?!??!?!
[01:08] <Laggy> YA!!!!!!!!!1111111111
[01:08] <Soppy-ReturningToInaba> OMG!!!!
[01:08] <Chulianne> No wonder you're small.
[01:08] <TranceHime> cocks
[01:08] <Laggy> .....

Luther Lansfeld

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Re: Desmond & Dragons - A DnD Chronicle
« Reply #183 on: February 07, 2010, 06:45:52 PM »
January 9th Session

The Shadowfell and All Within

Desmond and crew walk into Shadowfell Kingston to try to get to the Elfin Downs. A skeleton offers to either take 1-5 years off their lives or to give them 20 silver coins per passenger. But he only takes silver specifically, so we went to the church of the Raven Queen to grab some silver coins. We do so and then we ride on the boat.

We get to the Elfin Downs and find Balen. We ask for the ritual to save the city from evil; Balen challenges us to a fight.

This fight was one of the hardest fights we have fought in the campaign so far. We got wailed on by flunkies and Balen and stuff and the mooks revived themselves. It ended up with Marza and Rachelle on their asses, Alexander and Desmond fighting for their lives, and Balen running away and them pursuing him. Alexander ended up dying and Desmond alone fell the foul Balen. Desmond had about 30~ HP left? So it was very close.

After we barely stayed alive, Balen gave us the rituals needed to save the town’s artifact and told us we would need to enter the realm of law in order to break the spell on the artifact. The Realm of Law’s time goes by differently than our own, and the town will be brutally attacked while we are there, so we can’t linger inside the realm. (No sleeping!)

So we decide to go hunting for Ettercap silk while we are in the shadowfell. We wander to a place which presumably has Ettercaps, and then we FAILED the skill challenge horribly. The cat rolled a 1 on his perception. We got webbed by the ettercaps and immobilized. It sucked. So we fought the ettercaps, Marza was perpetually stunned the entire battle because apparently when ettercaps combat advantage you they stun and Marza’s AC sucks. Marza really needs to fail less and get some real armor. >_>

I ended up challenging everyone to a duel and helping chase the head ettercap, who was running away. Marza ended up laying a lot of damage once he was unstunned for a round.  Rachelle did a lot of MT and slowed the boss. Alexander dealt some damage to the supporting cast and all that. Overall everyone was pretty productive.

After we win, we take the ettercap silk and head back to the Elfin Downs. On our way we run into Shadar-ki (she was pretty hot) and Desmond charms her. (After trying to intimidate her.) We inform her that we are pursuing otherworldly beasts, who Raven Queen followers hate.

Then we get to the Elfin Downs, sleep, and get teleported back to the Prime Material Plane. Rachelle and Marza visit the wizard since Alexander hates him and Desmond wants to get wasted. Marza finds out that his village may have been attacked by a silver dragon and the wizard wants the silver dragon skin for his experiments. Alexander, meanwhile, babysits Desmond as his gets thrown out of the bar for stripping. Alexander asks guards about mating and they are weirded out.

Marza and Rachelle meet up with the stooges and we sleep to prepare for the next day’s adventure.
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Luther Lansfeld

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Re: Desmond & Dragons - A DnD Chronicle
« Reply #184 on: February 07, 2010, 07:11:58 PM »
January 24st Session

Headin’ to the Law Realm

This session was pretty short. We went to Elk’s Bend and told Gregory about the events that were about to occur. They pretty much decided to hide all the people and keep them as safe as possible; by the morning all this stuff was done. Greg doesn’t mess around! Gregory took us down to the basement, and we did the ritual which broke the seal on the artifact as well as doing a ritual to get us into the Realm of Law.

Once we arrived, we got into a fight with some lackeys of the head of the law realm. This fight was really interesting because the ground moved in a random direction based off a die roll. There were eight blocks for us to cross and they moved around, sending Rachelle into non-existence, which she rolled out of because of Alexander’s artifact. Yay! So we killed them off and went into another room. We had another Skill Challenge to help us find the room where the Master of Law is.

Not too much else happened other than me sulking over Skill Challenges in general. I actively dislike being retroactively punished for not understanding how to design a character. My character is pretty terrible at things that don’t relate to people skills and I am required to try to think of something to do with my PEOPLE SKILLS in a dungeon with no people. >_> And then I think of something to use and oh well Rachelle should have done that roll~~~

Next time will hopefully be the Law Master fight!
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Dark Holy Elf

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Re: Desmond & Dragons - A DnD Chronicle
« Reply #185 on: April 08, 2010, 05:27:03 AM »
Rachelle and Dragons

February(ish) updates. Yeah, they're overdue. I don't remember exact dates but I will try to break things up.

I will do March soon enough, too! Be prepared for... interesting times.


The plane of Chaos

Anyway, when we last left off, Rachelle had invoked a ritual which sent the party into the plane of chaos so that they could seal some Law Master (a being of chaos. I'd say this makes no sense, but... y'know. Chaos) back into the Relic of St. Cuthbert, thus stopping the freaky tentacle demons from invading the plane of people who build safe, prosperous societies. Rachelle and her comrades had beaten one round of vile beasts and survived a twisting mass of stairways like something out of an MC Escher painting. But the day was by no means over!


The party once again finds themself on a variety of shifting platforms which Rachelle can control, and once again the enemies are a bunch of floating tentacles demons who don't suffer from them. And try to push us off using some fruity mind control. Bastards! And this time, they have a horrid boss creature with them who has easily the highest HP of anything we have yet faced. Sadly, Rachelle's control over the ritual lets her know that this is NOT the Law Master, but still something that needs a good ol-fashioned killing. So killing ensues.


With killing done, the party rests up on the last remaining platforms, then heads into the deepest area of the realm of chaos, which this time has an actual solid, non-shifting platform. Immediately another attack occurs! This fight proves to be possibly the most challenging one yet. The enemies, who are shambling twisted humans have brutal offence, with the most notable one being able to attack 3 or 4 times a turn while shifting between each. There are two such foes (five total) and between the might of their repeated, accurate attacks, they are even able to fell the mighty DESMOND and bring him near death! Healing happens, but definitely a scary moment. Alexander, though, comes to the rescue, realising that, unlike the floating tentacle demons, these guys need to stand on their two feet, and uses Sequestering Strike to teleport one of them off the platforms and into the abyss. Later on, Rachelle is able to do something similar, as an enemy foolishly gets around to flank her from behind, but in doing so puts his own back to the edge of the platform, so she can use her encounter counterattack Armour of Wrath to push HIM off too. This allows the party to gain the upper hand, though it's still quite a slog. The fact that the first of the two foes pushed off fails his saving throws that would allow him to return repeatedly until he finally dies helps quite a lot!


So finally, the Law Master is at hand. The party rests up one last time, with the caveat that Marza is out of healing surges and thus must enter the final battle near death and unhealable. Then the party disrupts a pair of sigils on the ground, causing the Law Master itself to appear, another big bad abomination of a tentacle demon. The Law Master also has two flunkies who prove decidedly not worth attacking, as each time they are hit they summon a 1-HP mook which is nevertheless competent enough to be an issue, so the battle quickly becomes about hitting the Law Master and leaving them alone, braving their offence. Fortunately the Law Master itself gets pelted with all manner of negative effects the party has at its disposal, including Rachelle's turn-robbing stun and the usual challenge by Desmond. Overall it's not as tough as the previous battle by any stretch. The Law Master is defeated, and Rachelle uses a seal to bind it back into the Relic of Cuthbert.


Also the party is now Level 6.


Elk's Bend

And with that, the party finds themselves back in the real world, with a working Relic. They also discover with it a ring which adds 20% to the sexiness (Diplomacy checks, whatever) of its bearer, which naturally is donned by Desmond. The party makes their way out of the basement of Cuthbert's temple, only to be nearly shot by a frightened guard, thinking they are the abominations. The guard runs off to get Gregory, the High Priest of Elk's Bend, and the party meets with him and learns what has happened.

It turns out that Rachelle and her companions had been away for two weeks in real world time, even though it had only seemed like hours to them. During that time, the Elk's Bend militia had successfully withstood a flurry of attacks from the abominations in the real world. A victory for law and civilisation everywhere! Gregory has the relic inspected and reports that everything appears to be back to normal. The only piece of bad news is that, during the attacks of the past two weeks, the druid's forest has been set on fire by hobgoblins (presumably those under the control of Grallax the evil priest), and Greg has been unable to spare the men to go investigate or control it. The fire is still ongoing at this time, but everyone, including the party, is too worn-out to do anything about it. Instead, Rachelle sends a message to the capital, Thranton, and the party waits and recovers.

The blaze eventually dies down, and Gregory sends an expedition out to see what could have caused it. The party, lacking much else to do, agrees to go along and help out. The party explores the forest, reaching the area that had burned, and discovers it was where the druid had lived. Emphasis on "had", because they also find the druid and his apprentices, dead and strung up in trees, showing signs of having been brutally tortured. It would never have happened if they'd lived in the protective embrace of the town walls, obviously.

Before we can give the poor fools a proper burial, though, we are interrupted. By some blue-skinned tall androgynous freak with an eyepatch and a glaive or some similar sort of polearm. He(?) reveals much of what has gone on. It seems the sacrificing of the druid and his apprentices was part of a ritual performed by Grallax in order to summon him/her/it. And s/he claims to be a lesser deity of the Chains order which Grallax worships. The party is skeptical, but the being insists. It also asks for us to return its ring... the one on Desmond's finger which somehow came back with us from the plane of chaos. Rachelle and Desmond attempt to deal with the being diplomatically, trying to gauge if its bite may be able to match its bark, and hoping to deftly maneuver to keep both the ring and their lives from this self-proclaimed enemy of Erathis.

Feth (presumably trying to avoid vomitting from the weasel-wording on both sides) just tells him to fuck off.

Strangely this results in us rolling initiative. Anyway, although alone, the creature is quite a bastard, shifting everywhere and striking twice for some fairly scary damage. Fortunately, we have our own heavy blaster, as Marza sends his winged dagger out to launch a powerful attack from... and as he does so, the being cuts the (magical) dagger in two, destroying it instantly. Well, fuck. The party is able to keep afloat in the battle, though, and although their foe does not appear to take noticeable damage, its polearm does, cracking under its master's strain. Finally, as the weapon continues to look worse and worse, the being uses it to launch one final strike on Desmond's... warhammer, destroying that, too. Fortunately the polearm. itself shatters in the process, and the blade becomes separated from the handle.

At this point, the creature congratulates us on giving it a "good warmup". I guess recently summoned beings need those or something, but it's not exactly polite of it to say so. Unfortunately what happens next is substantially less polite as our blue-skinned freaky friend decides to pull another weapon out of nowhere and attack us for one-hit knockout damage. Repeatedly. With everyone but Desmond lying unconscious, the creature demands the ring again, and Desmond is forced to comply. :( The creature exhaults at having re-obtained its ring of sexiness, and announces something cryptic along the lines of SOON THE CHAINS OF LAW SHALL BE BROKEN and tells us to relay this to our masters. Bloody enemies of Erathis never learn.

Once we recover, we bury the dead and decide to set off. We also pick up the two parts of the polearm, which turn out to be a fairly wicked staff and scimitar respectively, so Rachelle and Desmond have new weapons (particularly handy given what just happened to Antonio's warhammer). It's rather sad that Desmond lost his mentor's keepsake for some filthy scimitar used by some evil being, but such is life. The party makes its way back to Elk's Bend, and fills Gregory in on what has happened. Concerned, he sends us back to Thranton to bring news of what has happened.


Next time: Rachelle attempts to treat Marza's cat for mental trauma! Alexander murders a wizard for refusing to offer free help! Feth is tempted to ride a giant mechanical crab! Marza is turned into pulsing red goo! Desmond has a fling with a crossdressing priest! Scientists debate the merits of asbestos kitties and fire chihuahuas!

Only one of these is made up. Stay tuned~

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Maybe.

Luther Lansfeld

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Re: Desmond & Dragons - A DnD Chronicle
« Reply #186 on: April 08, 2010, 06:00:46 AM »
Tarvec Must Die.

Desmond also annoys the unannoyable~

I am so pissed that my ring of sexiness was stolen.
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Magetastic

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Re: Desmond & Dragons - A DnD Chronicle
« Reply #187 on: April 08, 2010, 06:12:29 AM »
And just think; if the ring hadn't been stolen, you would've been MORE annoying!
<%King_Meepdorah> roll 1d999 for "It was beauty...that killed the mage"?
* +Hatbot --> "King_Meepdorah rolls 1d999 for "It was beauty...that killed the mage"? and gets 999."12 [1d999=999]
<%King_Meepdorah> ...
<+superaway> ...Uh oh.
<+RandomConsonant> ...
* +superaway shakes head.

Luther Lansfeld

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Re: Desmond & Dragons - A DnD Chronicle
« Reply #188 on: April 08, 2010, 06:12:53 AM »
I KNOW!!!
When humanity stands strong and people reach out for each other...
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Grefter

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Re: Desmond & Dragons - A DnD Chronicle
« Reply #189 on: April 08, 2010, 11:42:41 AM »
I am hoping for a character side plot in that it turns out that the Ring of Sexiness was not actually enchanted and the power of Sexiness came from within the whole time.
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Jo'ou Ranbu

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Re: Desmond & Dragons - A DnD Chronicle
« Reply #190 on: April 09, 2010, 12:36:42 AM »
Quote from: Elfboy
Next time: Rachelle attempts to treat Marza's cat for mental trauma! Alexander murders a wizard for refusing to offer free help! Feth is tempted to ride a giant mechanical crab! Marza is turned into pulsing red goo! Desmond has a fling with a crossdressing priest! Scientists debate the merits of asbestos kitties and fire chihuahuas!

Only one of these is made up. Stay tuned~

The true answer is the hidden seventh option. Which probably involves knitting with Cher or something, since it's comparatively normal.
[01:08] <Soppy-ReturningToInaba> HEY
[01:08] <Soppy-ReturningToInaba> LAGGY
[01:08] <Soppy-ReturningToInaba> UVIET?!??!?!
[01:08] <Laggy> YA!!!!!!!!!1111111111
[01:08] <Soppy-ReturningToInaba> OMG!!!!
[01:08] <Chulianne> No wonder you're small.
[01:08] <TranceHime> cocks
[01:08] <Laggy> .....

Dark Holy Elf

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Re: Desmond & Dragons - A DnD Chronicle
« Reply #191 on: April 09, 2010, 05:25:14 AM »
Thranton :)

The journey to the capital city of Thranton is unremarkable, except that two of the party don't make the journey. Feth decided to take off and report the words of the Chains sub-deity to her church. Marza, meanwhile, decides that there is a chance for him to use RITAULS and ARCANA and decides to control the remnants of the forest fire until it is firmly under control. He sends his cat along with Rachelle, Desmond, and Alexander though so he'll know what is going on.

The journey to Thranton takes a week, and Marza needs a few days to control the fires. Finishing, he decides he needs to catch up, and he doesn't like the idea of riding a horse to death. What he DOES like is paying a visit to the wizard, Tarvec, who is just a short journey away in Kingston. So he does this.

Marza is able to get into see the wizard, and he tries to bargain for passage (i.e. teleportation) to Thranton. Well, "bargain". He tries to offer vague offers of future favours, and bad shadowsilk that the wizard had previously seen and rejected. The only time he even gets close to attracting Tarvec's interest is when Tarvec suggests putting some sort of wizard marking on Marza so he'll be able to summon Marza and demand ANYTHING of him at a later date. Marza refuses this and tries to bargain further (again offering nothing worthy of note) and Tarvec becomes disgusted at what a mooch he is and promptly teleports him out of the tower onto his ass. Marza gives up and decides to ride to Thranton after all.


Meanwhile, the Erathi investigation team makes its triumphant return to Thranton, the largest city in the known world, brilliant centre of all civilisation, commerce, and secure living, and Rachelle's hometown. Rachelle and company return at long last to report to Bishop Charles, the man who gave Rachelle, Alexander, and Feth their mission to investigate Elk's Bend back at the start of this story. The party reports both their success at restoring the Relic of Cuthbert, and their concern over this new enemy. A concerned bishop asks the party to report again the next day to some of Thranton's cardinals, the highest rank in the religious order. They agree to do so.

Meanwhile, the the party members decide to take care of some loose ends. Mainly this means things like shopping; the party buys some cool magical items since Thranton is the centre of all things commerce-related, getting bracers that improve common types of damage, amulets that raise defences, and other such things. This done, Alexander goes to report to his own temple, that of Pelor. Desmond is interested in seeing the sights of the city, so Rachelle fills him in, with maybe a hint of pride in the fact that she lives in the most propsperous, safe, and influential city in the world. Desmond is unconvinced until Rachelle notes that such a large city has something that appeals to everyone. -Everyone-.

And so it was that Desmond asked where one could find a m->f crossdresser looking for a good time. A bemused Rachelle tells him to search after someone named Theodora. Desmond suspects that Rachelle might be trying to make a mockery of him, and remembers a friend of his from Elk's Bend who dropped another name. So Desmond goes to the rougher part of time to track this contact down. Rachelle sends Marza's cat to keep an eye on him so he doesn't get into trouble, and returns to her own home (family sadly all out of town) to rest for the day. Desmond finds and propositions this contact, but something about it doesn't seem right. The man comes off as exceptionally creepy, and this has nothing to do with his tranvestitism. Marza's cat meowls ferociously, and Desmond, after a few moments, backs off, and, despite the overtures of the "man", bids him good day and takes his leave. We aren't sure if the man was after Desmond's flashy new sword or just wanted some rape. The DM did, however, reveal that the "friend" who gave Desmond this advice was in fact someone with an axe to grind with Desmond, and Des of the 11 wisdom just didn't realise it. :(

Marza's cat is clearly scarred by the experience and wants to go home. Desmond however is not so easily deterred. Asking around, he tracks down this "Theodora", who turns out to be a very attractive older woman (except for the detail where she's actually male, but Desmond is allowed his tastes). Marza's cat protests, but a long story short is that Desmond rolls well on his Charisma check and has a place to enjoy an evening AND breakfast.

The next day, the party meets up at the temple of Gareth (sub-deity of commerce) where they met Bishop Charles the next day. Desmond is on top of the world, but Marza's cat has never looked worse. Rachelle takes the cat aside and tries to console him, saying he did a good job and that nothing he saw could be THAT bad... probably. Regardless, the cat relaxes. Anyway, before it is time to meet the cardinals, they do some more shopping, as Rachelle and Desmond both have magical shields to sell. It seems that one can't use both a magical shield and magical bracers at the same time, and while shields are cool, their magical enhancements are less so, so the party has some selling to do. Desmond gets a particularly good deal on his. It turns out that the Cuthbert chapter of the church of Erathis is more than happy to buy the SHIELD OF HIS MENTOR WHICH WAS AN IMPORTANT RELIC OF THE CHURCH. They're not happy with Desmond, just happy he's not selling his shield off to some mook instead of them. Desmond is shamed into not selling his shield after all, so decides not to buy magical bracers and continue using Antonio's keepsake.

And so, the party comes before the cardinals. They go to the high temple of Erathis and, after some time waiting, are met by one cardinal. A older, stately holy man named THEODORE. The look on Desmond's face is priceless. The cardinal warmly greets Rachelle, whom he recognises, as well as Alexander and Desmond. He compliments the latter in particular for being a paladin of the order, and praises him as "a man who knows his place in the chain of command". Rachelle SUCCEEDS on a will check to avoid breaking into laughter.

Regardless, the cardinals inspect the staff and scimitar that the deity held as a single polearm, and listen intently to the party's description. They aren't sure what to make of things, and after grilling the party of the events, they release them. The party has a few more days to kick around in Thranton while they wait for their judgement, though say the party may part with the weapons if they don't wish to wield implements of the Chains creature.

The next day, Marza arrives. As he pops the cat out of existence, his brain is suddenly overwhelmed and he buckles to the floor. Rachelle has to console -him-, too. Desmond, meanwhile, decides he isn't too happy with his scimitar after all, especially since it was used by a being of EVIL. The party looks into selling it. They find a buyer reasonably quickly... a man who is very, very eager to get his hands on the weapon. Suspiciously, Rachelle and Alexander grill him for why he wants it, and the man tries to act as if he were a simple collector. Desmond has a change of heart and despite the man's incredible offers, decides not to sell the weapon. Finally, the man gives up and takes off. Marza sends his cat out to act as a spy.

The cat silently stalks the merchant as he goes about his day, doing nothing suspicious... until late in the day, where, in the shadows of a rougher part of time, the merchant meets with someone who is disguised, but underneath it looks... well, demonic. The merchant reports that despite his efforts they weren't willing to sell "it". The demon, or whatever he is, expresses disappointment, but is overall unconcerned. The cat then attempts to follow the demon, but as it does so, becomes increasingly ill. It is forced to give up and return home. When it does, Marza himself starts to feel unwell.

Marza starts to get feverish, so the party takes him to the best healers Rachelle knows of. The clerics are most concerned, and despite the party's suspicion that it might be connected to the demonic creature Marza spied on, the clerics suggest that the culprit is the RING OF CHAOS AND TWISTEDNESS AND OH MY GOD IT SHOULD NOT EXIST that the party encountered a couple weeks ago and Marza haphazardly handled and inspected. The clerics note that such contact with raw chaos can in rare cases lead to certain death as chaos consumes the afflicted person's body. And already, Marza's body, which has recently fallen unconscious, is starting to... liquify. The clerics promise to inquire, but aren't hopeful.

Later that day, the party hears from a messenger from Charles. He has a new mission for them... to head to Sturmhalten, capital city of the domain of Ioun, goddess of knowledge. There, they will inquire from the most knowledgeable men there for information on this Chains creature they encountered, and will take the broken parts of the deity's weapons to show them (good thing we didn't sell them!). Also, they and they alone may just possess the necessary medical expertise to save Marza, who is rapidly turning for the worse. To illustrate what is meant by "worse", the clerics return Marza to the party... in a bag.

With a new mission in hand, the three heroes and their rapidly liquifying friend decide to head off to Sturmhalten, the capital city of knowledge pure, unadulterated insanity. But more on that next time!
« Last Edit: April 09, 2010, 07:16:39 AM by Dark Holy Elf »

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Maybe.

Luther Lansfeld

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Re: Desmond & Dragons - A DnD Chronicle
« Reply #192 on: April 09, 2010, 07:21:21 AM »
Theodora was cute. What can I say. I like older men in drag.
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Excal

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Re: Desmond & Dragons - A DnD Chronicle
« Reply #193 on: April 09, 2010, 07:54:29 AM »
Oh god...  Desmond's trip to Wall Street.

DO NOT WANT!!!

DO!  NOT!  WANT!!!
* Excal sobs quietly in the corner.

Luther Lansfeld

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Re: Desmond & Dragons - A DnD Chronicle
« Reply #194 on: April 09, 2010, 06:27:47 PM »
^_^! You didn't like my beautiful blue dress? I personally thought I was rather hot.
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Jo'ou Ranbu

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Re: Desmond & Dragons - A DnD Chronicle
« Reply #195 on: April 09, 2010, 10:39:09 PM »
^_^! You didn't like my beautiful blue dress? I personally thought I was rather hot.

Desmond's CQ4: where Lily only wishes she could be this gloriously unbalanced.

^_^
[01:08] <Soppy-ReturningToInaba> HEY
[01:08] <Soppy-ReturningToInaba> LAGGY
[01:08] <Soppy-ReturningToInaba> UVIET?!??!?!
[01:08] <Laggy> YA!!!!!!!!!1111111111
[01:08] <Soppy-ReturningToInaba> OMG!!!!
[01:08] <Chulianne> No wonder you're small.
[01:08] <TranceHime> cocks
[01:08] <Laggy> .....

Dark Holy Elf

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Re: Desmond & Dragons - A DnD Chronicle
« Reply #196 on: April 17, 2010, 11:07:08 PM »
Sturmhalten

Still in Thranton, the party heads to the teleportation circle in a temple in the centre of town. Thranton and Sturmhalten are separated by a large, possibly unknown distance, but both cities were built at the focal points of the leylines which bind this world, and as such, both are connected well via a lot of teleportation traffic, as are a few other such major cities in the world. They are teleported to Thranton, liquifying body and all.

Sturmhalten proves to be... different. First of all, whoever designed it is the biggest failure at city planning of ALL TIME, and I don't say that just because Rachelle is a proud Erathi fangirl (though she is, as everyone should be). Like, we need rolls to not get lost here. The party aims first for the hospital. Outside the teleportation centre, a strange man asks the party if they wish to ride a steamcrab, which turns out to be a mechanical, crab-like machine which clambers through the city over buildings. The party is unconvinced of the safety of such a course of action and attempts to walk there instead, although the city planning does cause some difficulty.

Talking to random people on the streets, they learn a fair deal of the city, which appears to be partially populated by "minions", who may or may not be people who have lost their souls in strange mad science, appear to have little to no free will, and serve the bidding of the town's citizens. Speaking of mad science, it is present and obvious everywhere from some of the things the party sights. One man appears to be out harmlessly walking some dogs, until one of them barks at the party and shoots fire. Turns out they are FIRE CHIHUAHUAS and the scientist walking them has great plans for them, oh yes. Soon they will be desired by every military power in the world, and HE WILL SHOW THE ACADEMY WHO IS LAUGHING NOW! The party considers investing some money in this fire chihuahua idea, but shortly after they run into a scientist apparently from the academy itself, and he snorts derisively noting that the academy's asbestos kitties will be more than an ample counter for fire chihuahuas.

Okay then.

Long story short, the party reaches the hospital. The party informs the attendants there of the emergency, and quickly, two doctors appear and announce their intentions to treat him. Unfortunately, both doctors appear substantially LESS sane than the scientists the party has already met. The first talks of saving Marza through toast (no, this doesn't make more sense in context) while the second talks of using a distiller. The only upside is that both doctors appear very knowledgeable of Marza's condition so they are apparently competent, just... batshit crazy. The two doctors get into a heated fight, and although Alexander tries to interject, both immediately team up on him ("And what do YOU know about medicine?") and order him kicked out. The guards take one look at him, and tell him to just pretend that he was kicked out, and pretend to be someone else, named Steve. Steve also attracts the ire of the doctors and is also kicked out, and replaced by Bob, who then proceeds to offer useful advice to the doctors that they thank him for.

Regardless, the doctors are far too overbearing to actually listen to the party on issues such as which treatment sounds more sane. The party was sounding less skeptical of distillation, but of course, the doctor proposing toast wins. He calls for a giant toaster (provided by the minions, of course), in which giant, man-sized toast is prepared. After some debate the doctor decides to add nutmeg instead of cinnamon because apparently eladrin react strangely to cinnamon. Finally, his mad science apparently complete, the doctor takes the giant toast and drops it into the bag where Marza is helped. And somehow, this accomplishes... absolutely nothing! Who would have guessed.

So the second doctor gets to try his own mad plan, pouring Marza into a distiller, which... well, separates him. When his body emerges from the machine, it is... well, no longer what could be considered a body. Instead, it's a mass of crystals. But after some time, the crystals appear to wake up, moving, and forming a cluster in a clearly humanoid shape. Complete with a smaller cluster of crystals in the shape of a cat. Even more strange, this Marza is capable of speech, and announces that he is feeling better. And so it was that Marza the eladrin became Marza the... crystal... thing. And though he had lost his sorcerous powers, he had gained psionic ones. Also traded a lot of Dexterity for Wisdom, like any good mage should. Wisdom changes aside though, the personality was still very much Marza, and the obsession with all things arcana remained. The party compensates the doctor to the tune of his demanded fee of 2000 gold, and moves on to their next mission, tracking down the most knowledgeable scientists (at least on the subject of Chains-related deities) in the city, Baron Klaus Wolfenbach and his son, Gilgamesh. The two are known to spend their days mainly in the baron's castle and in a tower in the centre of the city, respectively. As the tower is closer, the party heads there first.

This proves to be an even more difficult task than the previous journey, and the party becomes hopelessly lost in a labyrinthine chain of city streets. The party's attempts to find their way out end in miserable failure, and encountering minions who are fearing for their lives and claiming to have been trapped here for days or weeks isn't exactly encouraging. Eventually, though, Marza hits on a clever plan; he has just gained a ritual that lets him lift someone high in the air for effectively as long as he wants, so he uses this totally untested incantation to lift Alexander high in the sky and map out the maze of streets. The Erathi members of the party promptly hatch a plan to map out the maze more fully and sell it to the minions at a price the market will bear (i.e. gouging!) but for now they have more pressing concerns.

The party arrives at Gilgamesh's tower, and a minion directs them to where Master Gilgamesh can be found, on the top floor. The party makes their way up there, and finds him, a young man every bit the picture of a distracted scientist, engrossed in operating some bizarre machinery connected to a pair of mechanical automatons. The party attempts to talk to him, but he makes it clear that his current work is far too important. Well, whatever. Fortunately for us (maybe), after a few moments, the machine flares out of control, bursting into flame, and one automaton starts moving on its own. As he turns to deal with the fires, he calls at us to deal with the automaton, saying he doesn't care what happens to it. Seeing an obvious advantage to having the man in their debt, the party agrees.

The automaton doesn't really prove much of a fight, He has a fair bit of offence, but being a solo enemy, and the only one the party expects to fight this day, he is the brunt of all sorts of horrible debuffs, from defence lowering to plain old stun. And the party now has more healing than ever, as even Marza has picked up some thanks to his transformation, and sixth level has brought Rachelle the Healer's Lore ability which makes her Healing Word quite potent indeed. So yeah, ends up pretty easy. The construct is destroyed while the fires are put out, and when the dust settles, Gilgamesh is much more willing to listen to us.

Gilgamesh ends up being much more lucid than most of the town's scientists we have already talked to, and agrees to examine our artifacts for us, if we do him a favour in return... clearing out some undead who have been roaming around the nearby town of Beetlesburg. Rachelle notes that this isn't exactly a fair trade, since they will be putting their life in danger while he won't be, and the deal gets hashed out into some cash for the party, as well as loaner weapons for Desmond and Rachelle to replace those that Gilgamesh will be borrowing. Rachelle just gets a boring staff, but Desmond gets a very sweet two-handed sword made by Gilgamesh itself which has an electric generator built in (for giving enemies a shocking experience) and can be used to turn him invisible for one round. Only downside is he can't use it with his shield.

Gilgamesh gives the party a letter, and they head over to the baron's castle to pick up their money and Rachelle's new staff. After some difficulty getting past the guards who seem obsessed with the idea of "hats = rank" (solved by Marza assembling his crystalline cat as a hat on his head), they get through to one of Baron Wolfenbach's stewards, who give them what they need. The party heads back to the inn to prepare for the next day's journey to Beetlesburg, where they run into Feth, who had also arrived in the meantime, and also been harassed to ride a steamcrab and had thought the better of it. She's a bit confused by Marza's new change, but shrugs it off quickly enough.

And that's all for today's update! Next one should be the last before we're finally caught up. Stay tuned for tales of Desmond versus the undead in a battle of wits. You don't want to miss it!

Erwin Schrödinger will kill you like a cat in a box.
Maybe.

Random Consonant

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Re: Desmond & Dragons - A DnD Chronicle
« Reply #197 on: April 18, 2010, 12:52:48 AM »
Well, that all sounded perfectly sane and balanced.

Luther Lansfeld

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Re: Desmond & Dragons - A DnD Chronicle
« Reply #198 on: April 18, 2010, 01:42:29 AM »
I'm pretty sure it was just you and Marza plotting to sell to people in the maze. >_>
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Dark Holy Elf

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Re: Desmond & Dragons - A DnD Chronicle
« Reply #199 on: April 18, 2010, 01:48:09 AM »
Well profiting off the disadvantaged seems like something Alexander the uptight Pelorite would object to, and Desmond just isn't good at hatching plans that don't involve Desmond dispensing justice or wooing anything with a pulse.

Erwin Schrödinger will kill you like a cat in a box.
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