Good Morning, 2010! The Princess' Diary Intarwebs Edition

[Anthony Edward Stark]

On a report today:

"After several attempts, we successfully completed the lumbar puncture."

[Lady Door]

Lectured about not seeming to connect with my job. Apparently I am supposed to find my passion in filing invoices and updating databases.

Yeaaaaaah.

[DjinnAndTonic]

They don't expect you to be passionate about filling out invoices, they just want you to pretend that you're really excited about being a piece of the machine that makes the company work. You just have to pretend you're happy about being on "Team <insert company name>" and regularly tell your co-workers how awesome it is to be working with all of them and that the boss could wrestle a dinosaur into submission if he wanted to.

[Lady Door]

It is true. I was being melodramatic for effect. I got an inspiring speech about how I should always endeavor to seek out ways to help the company grow, find something in my work I love and focus on that, etc.

What you say is pretty much exactly what my boss was rah-rahing about. It was very hard to keep myself from blurting out, "What if I don't want to be a happy cog?"

My sense of drama and entitlement has me wishing I could come into work on Monday and announce that she was right, the person on the job should be focused on the job and the betterment of the company, and that person totally cannot be me, but... I'm not quite financially secure enough for that yet.

Yeah, corporate work is so not my bag. I'm way too much the idealist to feel comfortable fitting myself into the infrastructure. I am just too darned motivated to Do Big Things to understand that sometimes you need to do the small things, too.

I'd've made a great fanatic.

[DjinnAndTonic]

I'd've?

[Lady Door]

Were you implying I am already, or asking about the triple contraction? To the latter: if you're going to use contractions, I feel you may as well go all out. "I would have."

[Idun]

Just something that made me happy.

I saw a white girl dancing. No, I'm not racist. She was wu-tanging better than a lot of people I know. But dancing in my community is so HUGE, and we typically see white people (not asians or hispanics) as dance shy. And more people need to dance. It makes people happy, whether you can or can't. (: And. It made me happy to see her get down. Yeah. Maybe I'm a little racist, fuck, I don't know.

[Lady Door]

Just something that made me happy.

I saw a white girl dancing. No, I'm not racist. She was wu-tanging better than a lot of people I know. But dancing in my community is so HUGE, and we typically see white people (not asians or hispanics) as dance shy. And more people need to dance. It makes people happy, whether you can or can't. (: And. It made me happy to see her get down. Yeah. Maybe I'm a little racist, fuck, I don't know.

Princeton:
Say, Kate, can I ask you a question?

Kate Monster:
Sure!

Princeton:
Well, you know Trekkie Monster upstairs?

Kate Monster:
Uh huh.

Princeton:
Well, he's Trekkie Monster, and you're Kate Monster.

Kate Monster:
Right.

Princeton:
You're both Monsters.

Kate Monster:
Yeah.

Princeton:
Are you two related?

Kate Monster:
What?! Princeton, I'm surprised at you! I find that racist!

Princeton:
Oh, well, I'm sorry! I was just asking!

Kate Monster:
Well, it's a touchy subject.
No, not all Monsters are related.
What are you trying say, huh?
That we all look the same to you?
Huh, huh, huh?

Princeton:
No, no, no, not at all. I'm sorry,
I guess that was a little racist.

Kate Monster:
I should say so. You should be much more
careful when you're talking about the
sensitive subject of race.

Princeton:
Well, look who's talking!

Kate Monster:
What do you mean?

Princeton:
What about that special Monster School you told me about?

Kate Monster:
What about it?

Princeton:
Could someone like me go there?

Kate Monster:
No, we don't want people like you-

Princeton:
You see?!

You're a little bit racist.

Kate Monster:
Well, you're a little bit too.

Princeton:
I guess we're both a little bit racist.

Kate Monster:
Admitting it is not an easy thing to do...

Princeton:
But I guess it's true.

Kate Monster:
Between me and you,
I think

Both:
Everyone's a little bit racist
Sometimes.
Doesn't mean we go
Around committing hate crimes.
Look around and you will find
No one's really color blind.
Maybe it's a fact
We all should face
Everyone makes judgments
Based on race.

Princeton:
Now not big judgments, like who to hire
or who to buy a newspaper from -

Kate Monster:
No!

Princeton:
No, just little judgments like thinking that Mexican
busboys should learn to speak goddamn English!

Kate Monster:
Right!

Both:
Everyone's a little bit racist
Today.
So, everyone's a little bit racist
Okay!
Ethinic jokes might be uncouth,
But you laugh because
They're based on truth.
Don't take them as
Personal attacks.
Everyone enjoys them -
So relax!

Princeton:
All right, stop me if you've heard this one.

Kate Monster:
Okay!

Princeton:
There's a plan going down and there's only
one paracute. And there's a rabbi, a priest...

Kate Monster:
And a black guy!

Gary Coleman:
Whatchoo talkin' 'bout Kate?

Kate Monster:
Uh...

Gary Coleman:
You were telling a black joke!

Princeton:
Well, sure, Gary, but lots of people tell black jokes.

Gary Coleman:
I don't.

Princeton:
Well, of course you don't - you're black!
But I bet you tell Polack jokes, right?

Gary Coleman:
Well, sure I do. Those stupid Polacks!

Princeton:
Now, don't you think that's a little racist?

Gary Coleman:
Well, damn, I guess you're right.

Kate Monster:
You're a little bit racist.

Gary Coleman:
Well, you're a little bit too.

Princeton:
We're all a little bit racist.

Gary Coleman:
I think that I would
Have to agree with you.

Princeton/Kate Monster:
We're glad you do.

Gary Coleman:
It's sad but true!
Everyone's a little bit racist -

All right!

Kate Monster:
All right!

Princeton:
All right!

Gary Coleman:
All right!
Bigotry has never been
Exclusively white

All:
If we all could just admit
That we are racist a little bit,
Even though we all know
That it's wrong,
Maybe it would help us
Get along.

Princeton:
Oh, Christ do I feel good.

Gary Coleman:
Now there was a fine upstanding black man!

Princeton:
Who?

Gary Coleman:
Jesus Christ.

Kate Monster:
But, Gary, Jesus was white.

Gary Coleman:
No, Jesus was black.

Kate Monster:
No, Jesus was white.

Gary Coleman:
No, I'm pretty sure that Jesus was black-

Princeton:
Guys, guys...Jesus was Jewish!

Brian:
Hey guys, what are you laughing about?

Gary Coleman:
Racism!

Brian:
Cool.

Christmas Eve:
BRIAN! Come back here!
You take out lecycuraburs!

Princeton:
What's that mean?

Brian:
Um, recyclables.
Hey, don't laugh at her!
How many languages do you speak?

Kate Monster:
Oh, come off it, Brian!
Everyone's a little bit racist.

Brian:
I'm not!

Princeton:
Oh no?

Brian:
Nope!

How many Oriental wives
Have you got?

Christmas Eve:
What? Brian!

Princeton:
Brian, buddy, where you been?
The term is Asian-American!

Christmas Eve:
I know you are no
Intending to be
But calling me Oriental -
Offensive to me!

Brian:
I'm sorry, honey, I love you.

Christmas Eve:
And I love you.

Brian:
But you're racist, too.

Christmas Eve:
Yes, I know.
The Jews have all
The money
And the whites have all
The power.
And I'm always in taxi-cab
With driver who no shower!

Princeton:
Me too!

Kate Monster:
Me too!

Gary Coleman:
I can't even get a taxi!

All:
Everyone's a little bit racist
It's true.
But everyone is just about
As racist as you!
If we all could just admit
That we are racist a little bit,
And everyone stopped being
So PC
Maybe we could live in -
Harmony!

Christmas Eve:
Evlyone's a ritter bit lacist!

[Shale]

Beaten to the punch. God dammit.

[Idun]

Whatever that is, it's really cute.

[Cmdr_King]

Avenue Q.  It's basically a broadway show depicting what would happen if you turned the low rent district in New York (or perhaps a more specific region, but anyway) into Sesame Street.  So, basically, there's puppet-monsters and random celebrity guests everywhere.

[Lady Door]

You forgot to mention AWESOME.

A few other songs:

What Do You Do with a B.A. In English?
The Internet is for Porn
I'm Not Wearing Underwear Today
My Girlfriend Who Lives in Canada
Schadenfreude

[Cmdr_King]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ya6PutXw3_M&feature=related

The above song rendered in a DL-friendlier format.

[Cotigo]

Ha, ha, ha. Wait. That's supposed to be Gary Coleman?

HAH!

[Grefter]

It is true. I was being melodramatic for effect. I got an inspiring speech about how I should always endeavor to seek out ways to help the company grow, find something in my work I love and focus on that, etc.

What you say is pretty much exactly what my boss was rah-rahing about. It was very hard to keep myself from blurting out, "What if I don't want to be a happy cog?"

My sense of drama and entitlement has me wishing I could come into work on Monday and announce that she was right, the person on the job should be focused on the job and the betterment of the company, and that person totally cannot be me, but... I'm not quite financially secure enough for that yet.

Yeah, corporate work is so not my bag. I'm way too much the idealist to feel comfortable fitting myself into the infrastructure. I am just too darned motivated to Do Big Things to understand that sometimes you need to do the small things, too.

I'd've made a great fanatic.

If I can do it then anyone can.  It is just a job and it lets you do the things you enjoy.  Get in, do it for as long as you have to and get out.

Edit - Of course it helps that I do enjoy updating databases.

[Cmdr_King]

The sad thing is, apparently Gary Coleman himself didn't know about it until later and wishes he could sue now.
Honestly, I'd have just given him a cut.  You kinda feel bad for the guy, y'know?

[OblivionKnight]

Damnit, how the hell was I beaten to the musical reference ;_;

[Dunefar]

Today's lesson: No matter how hungry and how desperate you are, Burger King at 4 in the morning sucks.

[Idun]

Found the culprit that devoured Meeple and some other members (can't remember who was what), PLUS my newly planted Mexican Sunflowers!!! THE BIRDS!!! AARRRGHLES.

I wonder if I have any more seeds.

[Luther Lansfeld]

So I seem to have gotten an illness from one of my coworkers. Joy.

[NotMiki]

Sore throat, sinus headache, 3-hour criminal law exam, and Bang Install stuck in my head the whole time.  God damn am I running on fumes.

[DjinnAndTonic]

*Prods Snow for any potentially-embarrassing and/or interesting stories concerning his love life.*

[Jo'ou Ranbu]

*Prods Snow for any potentially-embarrassing and/or interesting stories concerning his love life.*

There's really nothing to it. We talked it over, we broke up amicably and consensually.

[DjinnAndTonic]

That's fine, you should make a crazy story about it anyway. I want to be entertained.

[Dhyerwolf]

You could get those from me (Although not in forum form)!