Let's Play Some Motherf*$&ing Games: 2010!!!!!!

[Talaysen]

Cross Edge - Stomped the first set of 5-2 bosses and one of the second set.  Mages have ridiculous damage.  The fighters are just there to break the enemies while the mages mop up.

Now that I've unlocked a third island I need to do more title grinding.  Yay.

[Twilkitri]

SDGGGW-

Finished the Origin Generation. Going on to Another Generation without looking into the Extra Generation map that was unlocked yet.

Guyana!Devil Gundam takes up over three times as many squares as the Albion. I don't remember it giving off the impression of being so massive in the show. Amusingly it has less HP than the Great Zeong.

Current team-
Albion/Zenon et al [Crossbone Gundam X1/Amuro '79 [Gundam Double X/Mark (GG) [Ex-Superior Gundam/Lanalowe (GG), Gundam Leopard/Eris (GG), Heavygun (Aina)], Dendrobium Stamen/Kou [Great Zeong/Char '79, Zudah/Shiro]]]
White Base/Bright '87 et al [Gundam Mk II Basic/Camille [Gundam Unit 4/Billy (GG) [Tieren Ground/Luke (GG), Gogg/Alfreda (GG)], Zeta Gundam/Judou [BuCUE/Eterna (GG), GM/Ivan (GG)]]]

[Sierra]

Symphony of the Night: Started this yesterday, played 3-4 hours in so far. Fairly short game I assume since a decent chunk of the map is filled in already. Bosses have been pretty feeble so far, either because I'm getting overleveled while backtracking incessantly or because they're just sad. Guessing the latter. Eh. I was in the mood for an old-school platformer and the game's decent enough as such, I can forgive it that.

I guess killing Richter = bad end. Or there's stuff I need to do before fighting him, maybe. Still a few scattered areas I haven't got around to filling in (underground places you need double jump or bat form for, the mist grate in the outer wall, the right branch of that clock hallway room since I'm not sure how that place works, the horrible spike hallway in the upper left of the map). Will knock those out and see if that changes anything.

[Shale]

There's a rather annoying secret you have to pull off to get the good ending. The only hints are in some item descriptions.

[Meeplelard]

Onimusha 3 Abridged:

Episode 5: What is a Man? BISON!!!!!

Narrator: When we last left our hero he...
Michelle: Ahem, I believe this is MY section of the game!
Narrator: It is?
Michelle: IT is; I don't get many ofthese and I'm NOT letting you give credit to someone else.
Narrator: ...fine (Hard bitch...)
Michelle: I heard that!
Narrator: Crap! *Flees*

Michelle: So, lets see, I have to take down more of these demons while making sure the son of my fiancee does not get hurt.  This shouldn't be too-...
*Bunch of demons appear out of nowhere*
Michelle: Um, crap, if only I had some sort of explosive other than these dinky grenades...
*she picks up a Grenade Launcher ina  chest that Samanosuke somehow couldn't open*
Michelle: ...that'll do! *Blasts them all to kingdom come*
*the two reach the top of the clock tower thing, along the way, Michelle refuses to move if Henri is one inch too far from her!*
Samanosuke: Michelle, Henri, what are you doing here?
Henri: Dad's in trouble!
Samanosuke: How the hell do you know this?  Oh, wait, I get it...YOU'RE A MARTY STU!
Michelle: I thought it was Gary Stu...
Samanosuke: ...semantics aside, how the hell do you know your father is in trouble 420 years ago?
Henri: IT says so in this history book here!
Samanosuke: ...I see...well, these things aren't historically accurate...
Ako: HELP! JACQUES IS CAUGHT IN A TRAP AND HE NEEDS YOUR HELP!
Samanosuke: ...and Crow Demon Fairies are even LESS reliable sources...
Henri: Dad's in trouble? I GOTTA HELP HIM!
Ako: Yeah! There's a trap down there, lets go!
Samanosuke: ...is anybody listening to me?
*Henri cracks the code on some DEMON KEYBOARD from 420 years in the past.  No, don't ask how, he just does, and its all by pushing arbitrary buttons*
Henri: I did it!
Ako: You did it!
Henri: Yeah, now I gotta send this to dad!
Ako: Yeah, we gotta send this to Jacques!
Samanosuke: So, uh, how do you plan on doing that?
Henri: I'll tell dad myself!? *psychic bullshit occurs, despite Henri being a totally normal mundane child*

*back in the Feudal Era*
Jacques: I can see my life flashing before my eyes...damn this poison...
Henri's Voice: Dad! I know the combination, don't give up!  I'll tell you it in the form of a minigame puzzle that resembles the game Simon!
Jacques: Huh? A Deus Ex Machina? Exactly what I need to get out of this situation!
*One puzzle later*
NOTE: Said Minigame was my only reset the entire game, cause I tend to screw up at Simon-like games.  Just thought I'd point that out!
Jacques: I'm alive! I'm so giving my son a raise on his allowance once I get back home!
Ako: Yay! Jacques! You're alive!
Jacques: yeah, I am...now go tell the others I'm fine!
Ako: Ok ^_^

*back in 2004*
Ako: You're dad's fine!
Samanosuke: Well, that's great news, isn't it Henri?
Henri: Yeah, it is!
Samanosuke: Now, lets see what's behind this door!
*they go in, big magical machine nonsense*
Samanosuke: ...great, I guess this thing fuels the Power Source of the TIme Folder and...
*Television screen turns on, Zombie Ranmaru is there in front of the Eifel Tower*
Zombie Ranmaru: SAMANOSUKE! I HATE YOU! DIE! MWAHAHAHAHAHAH!
Samanosuke: ...I fail to see how this is relevant...
Zombie Ranmaru: I WILL THROW YOUR BONES INTO A PIT WHILE I DEFICATE THROUGH OTHER GENMA AS I SING BAD COUNTRY MUSIC IN AN ATTEMPT TO MOCK YOUR CORPSE!
Michelle: Do you know this guy?
Samanosuke: ...is it not too late to deny any sort of connection to him?
Zombie Ranmaru: AND THEN I WILL EAT THE BRAINS OF YOUR LIVER THAT YOU WILL NO LONGER HAVE AS I DISEMBOWEL YOU! HEIL NOBUNAGA!!!
Michelle: Is he just mocking you on a TV for no reason?
Henri: How does he even know you're watching it?
Samanosuke: ...seriously, is it too late to pretend I don't know this guy at all?
Ako: Oh! Its your best friend and buddy forever Ranmaru, isn't it ^_^?
Samanosuke: ...I hate you...
Zombie Ranmaru: Oh, yeah, I'm suppose to mention something about a Time Folder and how its ready...BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER! I SHALL DRINK YOUR BLOOD OF YOUR STOMACH ACID AND-...*Samanosuke turns the TV off*
Samanosuke: Ok, I've had enough of that crap, but he did mention the TIme Folder, where could it be...
Michelle: Well, that WAS the Eifel Tower in the background, I think we should head there.
Samanosuke: Sounds like a plan!
*TV turns back on*
Zombie Ranmaru: DON'T YOU DARE CHANGE THE CHANNEL ON ME SAMANOSUKE!!! Oh yeah, you're going to die as this building collapses on you, TOODLES! *TV turns off*
Samanosuke: Um...shit, I think I have one word for this situation?
Ako: And what's that?
Samanosuke: RUN!!!!!
*the group all runs out of the dungeon, once outside, a big boulder explodes revealing a large two headed dog*
Ako: *gasp* Its awoken from its 420 year old sleep!
*Dog attacks Henri, Michelle blocks it and is knocked out, as though she died melodramatically even though the hit obviously didn't kill her*
Henri: MICHELLE!!!!!
Samanosuke: Vile dog! RESPECT YOUR MASTER NOW!
*Dog stops and listens*
Samanosuke: ...did it just...listen to my words?  Um...ok, lets try this *picks up a bone and throws it* FETCH!
*The dog runs and chases it off a cliff*
Samanosuke: Hey, its like I just skipped a boss fight.
Ako: ...cheater...
Henri: MICHELLE!!!!
Samanosuke: HEy, wake up, stop faking it!
Michelle: Huh, what happened?
Ako: Yay, she's alright ^_^
Samanosuke: Like I said, she was faking it...but lets get out of here, and save the drama for later, ok?
Henri: Ok, fine.
*they jump in Michelle's car, insert generic action car racing an explosion sequence here, everyone is fine*
Samanosuke: Well, it looks like we need to head to this Eifel Tower, how far is it from here?
Michelle: About 10 hours
Samanosuke: ...nuts...
Henri: Hey, Ako, can you go see what my dad's up too? Oh, and tell dad to marry Michelle!
(He actually says that last part...)
Ako: Alright ^_^

*420 years earlier*
Ako: Hey Jacques! Everyone's fine and happy and they're getting along happy and he says he wants you to marry Michelle!
Jacques: Well, that's good to here, so I guess its time we make some progress?
Ako: Yep ^_^
*TJacques makes his way into the castle*
Vega Donna: *insert Naga's Laugh here* Ah, yes, its you, BUT YOU'RE TOO LATE!
Jacques: ...look, I don't even know who you are, you're just a random demon chick who exists for obligatory fanservice in this game, would it hurt to have a little plot?
Vega Donna: Yes, YES IT WOULD!  But anyway, observe, I SHALL UNLEASH THIS CASTLE'S SECRET!!!!
Jacques: What would that?
*A large JAPANESE temple grows in the middle of the large FRENCH castle...yes, you read that right...and I mean it in the literal sense*
Jacques: What...the...hell...
*Said Temple is also being carried by a Kaiju-sized Bug Demon...and by "carried" I mean the temple is actually growing out of its back...no, I am not making any of this up*
Jacques: Assuming I'm still alive, when did that bitch drug me, cause there's no way I believe that this shit is happening...
Ako: Oh, this happens everyday here.
Jacques: ...I see...
Vega Donna: *insert Shantotto's laugh here* Now, I believe this is the part where you fall off and become conveniently separated from me!
Jacques: And what makes you say that?
Vega Donna: Cause the PLOT DEMANDS IT!
Jacques: ...oh, well then, I guess I'll take me leave *Jacques falls off the giant bug, the giant bug lands in what looks like a Temple Base conveniently perfectly fit for the rest ofthe large temple*
Jacques: HOLD IT!!!!...you know, it just occurred to me...that castle exists in my time, how the fuck can that be when it just got TOTALLY OBLITERATED by that large bug thingy?
Ako: Uhh...Capcom oversight? *is holding a compilation of Resident Evil files*
Jacques:  ...sure, I'll go with that.
*wakes up from unconsciousness*
Jacques: Ugh, where am I?
Samanosuke: Oh, good, you're back with us.  We saw you fall from that thing and well...I think its best for everyone's sake we don't go into details.
Ako: ITS SNOWING! IT MUST BE GENMA WORK CAUSE ITS SUMMER!
Samanosuke: And there's that.
Honda: Aha! He's awake!
Jacques: ...YOU!!! WHAT DO YOU WANT!?
Samanosuke: Whoa! He's on our side.  Lets just say he flipped a coin and it went in our favor.
Honda: Hey, I have perfectly good reasons to fight for you!
Samanosuke: ...even though you're a loyal vassal of Nobunaga.
Honda: I didn't say I don't have good reasons to fight for the Genma too, now do I?  BUT I WON'T FIGHT ALONGSIDE THOSE FREAKS SO WE'RE ALLIES NOW!
Jacques: Uh, ok, so...basically, what's the scoop?
Samanosuke: We've located Nobunaga's hide out!  However, the 3 of us alone won't do, but we've discovered an ANCIENT ARTIFACT in a temple nearbye that will help us out!
Honda: I WILL GET THIS OBJECT!
Jacques: Actually, Honda, I was hoping you could, you know, go back and pretend to be on their side? It'd be good to have someone in on the inside.
Honda: ...or I can do that.  Yeah, that works, I WILL BE THE BEST DOUBLE AGENT YOU EVER SAW!!!! *he leaves*
Jacques: So about that mystical artifact...
Samanosuke: Oh, its the Oni Army Orb.
Jacques: ...the what?
Samanosuke: Oni Army Orb.
Jacques: Are you seriously telling me its called that?
Samanosuke: Yes, yes I am.
Jacques: And I'm suppose to take it seriously?
Samanosuke: Yes.
Jacques: Dude, that sounds like something a 2nd grader can come up with!
Samanosuke: Look, I don't name these things, so take it up with the Ancient Oni Army who are sealed up inside the thing that we can use to our advantage.
Jacques: Eh, screw it, lets just get the damn thing.
*Jacques and Samanosuke get separated by a random gate, they decide to split up of course, Jacques finds the Orb*
Jacques: I guess this is it.
Samanosuke: Ah, you found it!
Jacques: I-...wait, weren't you trapped outside?
Samanosuke: Look, you don't ask me how I got in here, and I won't question how we get out of this supposed Point of No Return moments from now.
Jacques: ...fair enough.  Anyway, how does this work?
Samanosuke: Someone with an Oni has to control the Army, they'll fight for us.
Jacques: Ok, you'll control them cause you're better with that kind of stuff than me.
Samanosuke: Ok.
*The two enter battle field, Samanosuke summons the ONi Army, a bunch of Phantom Demon Samurais come and starting the Zombie Demon Skeletons.  Note that Phantoms move as though they're on skate boards...even though they lack skate boards*
Jacques: Ah, good an army of canon fodder that's already dead, now I can kick some ass!
*Jacques cuts swath across the Zombie Demon Skeletons as the Phantom Demon Samurais help him out, he eventually breaks into the temple*
Jacques: Well, I'm here, and...wait, where did all my useful Undead Red Shirts go?  God damn it, I'm solo again, aren't I?
Ako: You got me!
Jacques: Yep, I'm alone...
Ako: HEY!
Jacques: Now to-...*sees Honda on the ground as a bloody mess* HEIHACHI!!!
Honda: Damn, they got me.  Ranmaru's trap failed!
Jacques: ...Ranmaru set up a trap? ANd if it failed, why are you hurt so much?
Honda: Who said Ranmaru's trap did this? I just fell down the stairs, into a bunch of Zombie Skeleton Demons, and this is kind of what happened when their knives were out.
Jacques: Oh, ok, I can believe THAT.  For a second there, I thought you implied Ranmaru did something important.
Honda: Ha! Like that'll happen, but now I'm going to sort of disappear from the plot, so uh, yeah, pretend I'm dead.  By the way, Nobunaga isn't here.
Jacques: Ok.  *clears throat* HONDA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Camera is slowly zooming away from him dramatically*  YOUR DEATH WON'T BE IN VAIN! *he storms off dramatically*
Vega Donna: *insert Kefka's laugh here* Ah, you've arrived! Well, now we shall fight.
Jacques: Ok, look, I'll fight you, but please, just tell me, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?
Vega Donna: *insert Albedo's laugh here* I'm Nobunaga's wife, and QUEEN OF THE GENMA! ANd-...
Jacques: ...ok, that'll do.
Vega Donna: But I'm not done!
Jacques: Look, all I wanted from you was a modicum of plot; we can't have someone whose less useful than Ranmaru running around.
Ranmaru: *from offstage* HEY!
Vega Donna: *insert some generic evil low pitched villainous laughter here* BUT HERE'S WHERE YOU DIE!
*One boss fight later*
Vega Donna: NO! HOW DID I LOSE!?!??! But the Time Folder is complete! *insert a 10 year old giddy school girl laugh here* *she dies*
Jacques: Crap, well, better go find Nobunaga...oh, Ako, go tell Samanosuke...the future one...to stop shit on that end.
Ako: I don't want too!
Jacques: Wait, what?
Ako: I've been taking shit from you two all along, I WANT SOME RESPECT!
Jacques: ...you're a freaking Crow Demon Fairy whose use in this game is akin to Navi from Orcarina of Time...
Ako: DOESN'T MATTER!
Jacques: *sigh* Fine, I'll give you $5 if you do this.
Ako: Ok ^_^ *she teleports to the future*
Jacques: ...did she actually believe me? Wow...

*at the Eifel Tower in 2004*
Samanosuke: Michelle, Henri, you stay here, THIS TIME ITS PERSONAL!
Ako: Yeah! Lets go kick some ass!
*Samanosuke just beats the crap out of everything in his way until he reaches the top*
Samanosuke: God damn it, why'd I take the stairs?  That elevator would have come in handy here, stupid hero's code of "Always take the harder route for EXTRA DRAMA!"
Zombie Ranmaru: SAMANOSUKE!!!!!!
Samanosuke: ...and my reward is him...
Zombie Ranmaru: AHAHAHHAAHHAHHAHA! YES! NOW I SHALL DUEL YOU IN THIS FATED CONFRONTATION OF LIFE, DEATH, TIME, SPACE, POODLES, AND HEIL NOBUNAGA!
Samanosuke: Ok, look, you're not exactly a major character,c an you just walk to the side while I blow up this machine?
Zombie Ranmaru: not...a major...character? HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT!
Samanosuke: Yeah, now, where's the main villain in charge?
Zombie Ranmaru: I'm STANDING RIGHT HERE!
Samanosuke: ...no, seriously, where is he?  I mean, I know I beat Skeletor, but there's either somebody behind him, or he's not really dead, and waiting to make a grand entrance.
Zombie Ranmaru: Damn it, PAY ATTENTION TO ME!
Samanosuke:  And why should I?
Zombie Ranmaru: CAUSE I'M THE MAIN VILLAIN!!!!
Samanosuke: ...you know, arguing with you is like arguing with a 5 year old boy, except 5 year old boys actually understand what is being said to some extent.
Zombie Ranmaru: DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Samanosuke just punches Zombie Ranmaru*
Zombie Ranmaru: Curse...you...Samanosuke...*pulls a lever on the big switch of the DEMON EIFEL TOWER*
Samanosuke: Shit, I'm too late...and I let Ranmaru actually do something USEFUL.  Crap, I just hope Jacques and my past self can deal with this problem...

*back in Feudal Japan*
Random Samaurai Commander from the Game's Opening: Alright, men, we're going to take Nobunaga's fort!  By which I mean, you two will do all the work while my men get useless slaughtered.
Jacques: Its cause we have big awesome mystical weapons and your mean are just generic samurai, isn't it?
Samanosuke: Yeah, pretty much.  Lets just get this over with.
Jacques: Ok...
*a reenactment of the game's opening occurs, except Jacques is now kicking ass in the mix, at least til they reach the front door step*
Samanosuke: Beyond this door is Nobunaga...
Jacques: And finally, the end of my journey, I can soon go ho-...
Ranmaru: SAMANOSUKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Samanosuke: ...do I know you?
Ranmaru: Oh come on! I know we've fought at least once before!  I even sent a generic demon monster thing at that other guy over there!
Jacques: ...let me deal with him.
Samanosuke: Why?
Jacques: Cause there's something I've been wanting to do the entire damn time I've been back here since I first saw this guy.
Ranmaru: Oh, you want to fight me? Well, YOU DON'T STAND A CHANCE AGAINST ME-...
*Jacques kicks his ass effortlessly.  No, I'm not kidding; its really just horribly one sided to the point where he just starts punching him to death, eventually Ranmaru falls off the balcony and dies*
Jacques: For both our sakes, let us hope he's dead, and not going to come back as a Zombie in my era.
Samanosuke: ...who was he again?
Jacques: ...you know, I'm not really sure, thinking on it...lets just go beat up Nobunaga.
Samanosuke: Works for me!

*The two enter, Nobunaga is sitting on a throne, wine glass in hand, with what appears to be a red police cap on his head*
Jacques: ...I'm not even going to ask...
Samanosuke: Beware the mustache, Jacques...
Jacques: Why?
Samanosuke: That is the source of his Genma power!
Jacques: Good to know!
Nobunaga: Ah, so you know?  But even knowing that, it won't be enough to defeat me!
Samanosuke: And why's that?
Nobunaga: Cause even milk...has an expiration date *punches Samanosuke, he gets knocked out*
Jacques: ...ok, that analogy made absolutely no sense whatsoever...
Nobunaga: Now for the Western Barbarian from the future!
*The two engage in epic battle, note that Nobunaga ALSO has Ivy's sword, so we have two WHIP SWORD USERS going at it...ok, Jacques also has a ROPE FLAIL and Sword-chucks, but lets not get into that, Jacques comes out victorious*
Nobunaga: Beaten...by the Western Barbarian...good show *he falls into the flames*
Jacques: IS it over? *he gets engulfed i white light* ...yes, I can finally go home.
Ako: Yay!!!!!
Nobunaga: I'M NOT DEAD YET! SEE!?
Jacques: Oh shi-...
Nobunaga: And to prove it, I WILL KILL SAMANOSUKE! *He does so*
Jacques: NO!!!!! I must help! *gets teleported to his own time*

*back in France*
Jacques: Hey, I'm back...crap, I need to get back to Japan.
Henri: DADDY!!!!!!!!! *he tackles Jacques*
Samanosuke: Ah, Jacques, you've made it back! That must mean the Time Folder is in effect!
Jacques: Wait! I need to help you defeat Nobunaga of your time!
Samanosuke: No, I can deal with this on my own! Everything shall soon be where it belongs.
Jacques: Good luck!
Samanosuke: Indeed!  Oh, and you three will make a good family!
Ako: Later ^_^!
Jacques: (Thank god I won't be seeing HER again!)
*Samanosuke goes back to his own time*
Jacques: ...I was going to tell him that Nobunaga sort of killed himself there, and...holy shit, I'm speaking French again! And my accent is back!
Michelle: You know, I'd question how that's possible, but I think I've seen enough fucked up shit for the past 24 hours.
Jacques: Well, lets go home then!
Zombie Ranmaru: I'M NOT DEAD YET! IN FACT I'M STILL SO VERY MUCH ALIVE THAT I WILL PROVE IT THROUGH THIS ACT OF PURE VILLAINY AND EVIL AND *stabs Henri in the back* AHAHAHAHAAHAHAH SEE!?!?!?
Jacques: Henri! NO!!!! *beats the shit out of Zombie Ranmaru Effortlessly...again...*
Zombie Ranmaru: Curse you...Samanosuke...I won't forget this...in the depths of hell...even though I know I will be going to heaven...HEIL NOBUNAGA!
Jacques: Henri.  Speak to me, you can't die! *Oni Gauntlet flashes, heals Henri's wound, disappears*
Henri: Daddy!
Jacques: Henri!!!

*meanwhile, back in Japan*
Samanosuke: ...well, it looks like nothing has changed since I last left.  Things are still on fire, war going on, and *looks to his left* Oh! Ranmaru's even already dead!  Excellent!
*busts in*
Samanosuke: NOBUNAGA!!!!!!
Nobunaga: But...what...how...I killed...oh I get it, you're the OTHER Samanosuke...from like 20 minutes into the future, aren't you?
Samanosuke: Yeah, and for killing me I have one trick up my sleeve.
Nobunaga: You're not going to revive your dead self as a Zombie and then double team me?  
Samanosuke: ...no, not only is that morally wrong, but its also stupid.  I mean, who would revive a dead person as a Zombie?

*420 years in the future, just before Samanosuke gets warped in*
Skeletor: Aha! Arise, Ranmaru! You will be the perfect Henchman as...ZOMBIE RANMARU!!!!
Zombie Ranmaru: DIE SAMANOSUKE!!!!!!!!!!!!
Skeletor: ...ok, remove the "perfect" part...
*back to stuff that matters*

Nobunaga: Ok, good, so you think you can beat me when your past self failed?
Samanosuke: Yes...though, I'm not gonna take chances! *merges his Oni Gauntlet with his dead selves, and the two bodies become one, Samanosuke transforms into SUPER SEPHIROTH*
Nobunaga: ...you know, even though I know you're in some sort of invincible God Mode, I STILL THINK I HAVE A CHANCE!
*Samanosuke beats the shit out of Nobunaga for about 5 minutes*
Nobunaga: Can't you not see Samanosuke? Your friends die! For surely you cannot protect them now!
Samanosuke: You better have some sort of way to back up that threat, or I will be-...
*Nobunaga pulls off Demon Hax, his fortress of DOOM turns into one of those big surreal flying stone areas that only exist for big epic fights in the middle of spaceless voids, and Nobunaga himself transforms into SOUL CALIBUR'S NIGHTMARE*
Nobunaga: Now to beat you in a CHILDREN'S CARD GAME...WITH SWORDS!!!!!
Samanosuke: ...or we could just fight like normal people with super powers do.
Nobunaga: That works too!
*the two battle, epicness ensues, at some point, Sephiroth-Samanosuke gets the Soul Edge from Nightmare-Nobunaga, battle continues on, Sephiroth-Samanosuke wins!*
Nobunaga: I have been defeated...why? WHY CAN'T I WIN!?
Samanosuke: I'm going to assume that's a rhetorical question and just watch you die now.
Nobunaga: Fair enough. BUT MY MUSTACHE AND ITS EVIL WILL ALWAYS LIVE ON!
Samanosuke: ...I was afraid he'd say that...
*Nobunaga dies*

*sometime in the near future, Samanosuke is sitting by a river*
Samanosuke: Ah, peace at last, nothing can go wrong now.
Ako: HI SAMANOSUKE!!!!!
Samanosuke: ...NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Credits roll, but with ONE AFTER SCENE*
Hideoyoshi: Ah, Nobunaga has fallen, its time for a new era...one where I rule the Genma...for I have INHERITED HIS MUSTACHE MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

THE END

----

Yeah, that's Onimusha 3 for you.  Fun game, and the Abridged series more or less sums up the plot.  Thanks to Xer for pointing this game out to me or I probably would have never touched it.  Might do the Heihachi Honda mini-game thing since that seems quirky and what not.

[DjinnAndTonic]

Normally don't post about non-RPGs, but...

Playing CV: Aria of Sorrow. Got to Death in a single sitting, but he killed me on a lucky shot. For some reason, I am taking boss notes. The RPGDL has corrupted me to the point that if a game uses numbers, I want to write them down...

Eternal Poison: Finished Thage and Ashley's stories. The game has pretty solid writing and most of the VAs are good quality, too. Music is fitting, and visual style is appealing.

Gameplay is kinda sluggish. It's not bad, it's just not engaging for some reason. There's a lot of interesting concepts going on, and I find myself utilizing all of them, but somehow it just isn't -fun-.

Playing Olifen's story, and Logue is a beast. Possibly literally?

Despite the slow gameplay, the whole package of the game stands out to me. It feels like an RPG where the creator was suddenly inspired to write a gothic fairy tale, realized that his creative vision would be best explored in a game format, and got someone to put together a SRPG to go along with it. Not that the fairy tale is particular original or amazing by literary standards, but it does some surprising things and it utilizes its world well to explore the characters and try to keep the player guessing about the mysteries of the world and the characters' motives. The multiple main feature of the game really heightens the exploration of Besek and while the characters/stories after Thage's chapter aren't nearly as engaging, they are still good at expanding upon the world-building.

Seeing how it all comes together is keeping me playing.

[Excal]

Continuing along in Soul Nomad.  Learning to hate ranged units with a burning passion.  Pyremages specifically thanks to that whole if they get first shot they can do some nasty things.  Aside from that, generally liking the gameplay, the characters...  and even the story is kinda holding its own now.  Even more so now that Penn is out of the plot.  Sadly, I do have a sneaking suspicion I can pick out who the final boss is.

Anyways, up to the third Shauna fight.  She is annoying, seems to be a boring nihilist (aka, not Kefka) and refuses to die.  Also, Plot! refused to let me kill her when I had the chance.  Damnit people, would it have hurt you to at least have let Gig have his fun with her?  It's not like she has any redeeming features.  Hell, I'm not even using the Gypsies already in my party, so she's just gonna be a benchwarmer if ever she is recruited.  Bah...  Probably won't have anything bad happen to her in Demon mode either.

[Jo'ou Ranbu]

Man, you're so wrong about Shauna in just about all counts. >_> Just keep playing.

[Unoriginal]

Man, you're so wrong about Shauna in just about all counts. >_> Just keep playing.

Don't usually do this, but yeah, quoting for emphasis.

Jade Empire: Finished, game goes by quickly once you start getting the really broken stuff, fully upgraded Crimson Tears in focus mode obliterates things, and it's only one of the I Win buttons the game hands you.  Usual Bioware morality stuff, they largely stop trying to pretend that Closed Fist isn't evil by chapter 3.

[Excal]

If the game tries to redeem Shauna, I think I may have to hate it.  For all of five seconds.  I mean...  how can I hate something with Gig in it?  He's so cuddly and adorable.

[Yakumo]

Just play the damn game, you'll see.

[Jo'ou Ranbu]

If the game tries to redeem Shauna, I think I may have to hate it.  For all of five seconds.  I mean...  how can I hate something with Gig in it?  He's so cuddly and adorable.

Just keep playing. And by that, I mean "do Evil Path too".

[DjinnAndTonic]

Okay, yeah, Soul Nomad is good, but don't over-hype it. It's not going to live up to ridiculous standards.

[Excal]

Eh, I suspect in this case it's not hype for the game itself, but more commentary on how I should reserve judgement on this one specific character.  One specific character that caused me to actually look up Tonfa's affinity faq because I wanted to stomp her into the mud that badly (On that note, realising that Juno's the only person on my team capable of aforementioned mudstomping has lead to happy, happy results!).  And she's done so much shit so far that, again, I don't care if she actually does have some kind of legit sob story, she's happily heading down the road to near Lekain douchery.  Doesn't help that she has not been handled well so far, instead getting all of these "You wouldn't understand my pain!" Speshul moments.  >_>

So yeah, maybe she does fit in on the demon mode.  But in the hero's path, I just want to curbstomp the bint, and leave her bloody carcass behind instead of letting her get away again, and again, and again because she is some kind of pretty bandit princess who brings nothing but misery and destruction in her wake.  And while it may be irrational, it will definately feel wrong if the party in any way, shape, or form, forgives her.

[Fudozukushi]

WoW: Got my 4piece t9.  Hit 4k on the training dummies.  Which is lower than what it will be once I run an instance because Wandering Plague doesn't hit for full against them for some ass reason.  Also had an ass time with gems because I had a unique-equipped on the pants that I also put on my helm.  Waste of 160 gold urgh.

[Grefter]

Use the Nightmare tear in helm slot yeah (Both badge and tier being +8 Str in a yellow socket) and get the Agi +3% Crit damage meta or if you absolutely insist on the crit meta (Which is probably pretty close call for Unholy I guess) put the Nightmare Tear in your helm like you have (Pants slot bonus is not worth picking up especially) throw a Strength/Stam purple into your chest piece (I assume you are using the 75 badge head?  Not that the difference is really huge between going the shoulder or helm off piece, but I guess it depends on how much Hit you are running on other pieces, I am not familiar how much is on DK T9 DPS Set since I was working on tanking set).  160 gold isn't a huge loss, should make it back easy enough off a set of dailies.

[Taishyr]

I mean...  how can I hate something with Gig in it?  He's so cuddly and adorable.

Truth, unblemished truth.

* Taitoro sets super on fire in support.

[Jo'ou Ranbu]

SRWW - God, fuck Orgun's EN guzzling.

* Jo'ou Ranbu gives him a Big Energy Generator, a Mega EN Chip and FUBs his weaponry, picking the -20% EN costs bonus.

Much better.

[Smashy v2]

Labyrinth of Touhou: Exploration Chen'd 18F.  These treasure items are getting all 'Whoa' now, and the drops aren't too far behind (Hi there Blue Saber drop on a fairly common 17F enemy).  Saw the 18F boss, decided I needed about 30 more levels (I am still massively underlevelled.), and went BP grinding for Kaguya.  F.O.E.: Third Strike died easily when it realized that it still sucked against PAR.

And then I fed the group responsible for the BP requirements for Kaguya to a Bloodstained Seal.  Seriously, that was just really bad for a number of reasons:

1) 1000 BP.  Yes you get 4 characters, except...
2) Sanae's going to be in the reserves most of the time, although she'll likely be the biggest source of BP. Also, bit of an obscure pick over Wriggle (Wriggle's IN, Sanae's FOE connection isn't obvious until after you get Kaguya)
3) Eirin's TP is trash.  At least this is fixable, unlike...
4) Reisen.  Reisen has two purposes in this game: Stat Downs, and art that makes no sense.  Seriously.  The art makes it look like her ears are attached to the side of her head (or at the very least, facing the wrong way)
5) Mokou is recruited so late for this purpose.   Any team that can beat Mokou has likely already killed off Dark Forge and Hill Gigas to get to 16F.

So yeah, right after seeing how far ahead I likely am I just slapped +TP on those 4 and punched Kedamas.

[VySaika]

KotOR: Cleared Tatooine, Kashyyk and Korriban. Plot twist ensues, though I'd been spoiled on it so. On Manaan now, haven't done anything there yet though.

Character is a Scoundral -> Jedi Guardian. Pretty much just focusing on the Speed powers and healing, and very occasionally pulling out the Throw Lightsaber antics. Swap the party around alot, though my favorite one is probably Juhani + either Canderous or Big Z. Gate SMASH, etc.

Not too much else to say. Fun game.

[Ultradude]

BoF5 - I has a D Dive. D Counter already up to like 7.8 and I somehow wandered back to the platform I exploded Bosch on. Dunno if I'm screwed or totally going the right way and in good shape.

[Grefter]

Party swapping is fine in KotOR, everyone works from the same Exp pool  based on the main PC pretty much (one of the reasons level squatting is so powerful in KotOR but ultimately doesn't get you much).  Only is a bit of a pain juggling the equipment (shitty menus), but otherwise, go for it.

[Meeplelard]

BoF5 - I has a D Dive. D Counter already up to like 7.8 and I somehow wandered back to the platform I exploded Bosch on. Dunno if I'm screwed or totally going the right way and in good shape.

Dragon Quarter has very little, if any, actual Backtracking, so generally, if you're re-exploring an area, then that's a bad sign.

Due note that there are two "Lift" areas; the one early in the game with Bosch, and the one you come in with Lin/Nina joined up; this is the only time the game really reuses a dungeon design, though its mostly for stylistic and plot consistency reasons (You're going consistently up, after all, the logic is same levels look the same, even if you're at a different point.)

Regarding your D-counter...7.8% sounds pretty standard for where you are; it sounds bad that running = the D-counter raises, but note that its 0.01% every like 20 steps; the amount you gain by merely running is so negligible, its honestly unimportant.  The real way you get your D-counter up is either using D-Dash too much (like...a lot too much.  Don't feel afraid to use it if you just want to get around Random Encounters, or get a quick speed boost), or more importantly, using D-Dive, which REALLY raises the counter.

[SnowFire]

CK was kind enough to lend me his PSP as part of his ranking drive for WA:XF.  A very nice gesture (something to do on 12-hour holiday Amtrak trips!), and despite the mostly negative rants below I'm actually enjoying the game a good bit.  The gameplay is solid, and I'm the type of person for whom good gameplay OR a good plot can make a game worthwhile.  The plot...  has some potential, and I like a few characters, but some major plot issues too.

I see that Ciato is also posting thoughts, so figured I'd give my midgameish report.  Oh, and spoilers.

1-5
We need an army!  Friendly drifters Jack, Arnaud, and Yulie joined up.  Wish I'd figured out that "reject = reroll" a little earlier as far as stat maximizing, though.  Jack's gone Secutor-Sentinel, Arnaud Sacred Slayer-Fantastica-Elementalist, Yulie Elementalist-Gadgeteer-Sacred Slayer(very occasionally Fantastica).

As far as others?  Clarissa is Dandelion Shot-Gadgeteer with DS equipment always (Decelerate on a gun is pretty amusing).  Felius is Halberdier-Secutor-Sentinel-Grappler, Labrynthia is Elementalist-Arcanist-Sacred Slayer, Levin is Martial Mage-Geomancer, and Ragnar is Stormrider-Sentinel.  Levin and Clarissa get particular call-outs on great gameplay design - they're tons of fun to use and stay distinctive no matter what class they're in.

1-7
First major plot ARGH.  Clarissa not being the shiny special princess with super magic powers but having to make do without them woulda been actually pretty cool, which is why I initially approved of "The princesses of Elysius have special powers!"  Woulda led to some neat situations, like being forced to choose whether to fake it or not.  But instead...  Clarissa is even shinier and specialier than the real princess?  .....ugh.

(Also, while this may be explained later, I'm getting hints of plot laziness with regard to the setting.  The princesses have special powers...  but there's a king?  Wouldn't this mean the royal family marries away its seers and loses control of them?  What happened to the Queen anyway?  They haven't said boo about her; I guess she's dead.  It's possible, of course, that Elysius is a Queendom with a dead queen, or that descent passes through the female line but power is held by the husband, but I'd like these things made explicit.  As is, I suspect it's just lazy tropes: there's a king because you expect a king, but everyone loves princesses so let's give them magic.)

1-8
Okay, as a storytelling device, I respect that rather than hit you over the head with all the introductions and chatter when people meet up, it's more interesting to stretch it out a bit so you can plot->battle->plot->battle->plot rather than ploooooooooot->battlebattlebattle.  Still, this is a bit late to find out Levin and Felius don't know each other, and haven't even been introduced!  Haven't they fought together a bunch and already have a mini-rivalry?!  And would "Felius is Clarissa's bodyguard" been that hard an answer to have given long ago, by Labrynthia if no one else?

More to the point...  did Clarissa just totally spill the beans to Levin?!  She uses her real name and talks about travelling the wilderness with mom for five years which the real princess blatantly didn't do!  ...and then... Levin accepts it and then calls her "Your Highness?"  I like Levin so I'm just going to pretend this scene never happened.

1-9
Beat up Rupert.  Doesn't seem like I got any particular bonus for killing him, but it was fun.  Wonder why his offense was so uninspiring.

Still: On the villain-o-meter, Rupert is the best by a lot.  The rest of the council seems to be idiots and/or lame yet the plot doesn't realize this.  Look, "turn own country into Zimbabwe" is generally the tragic fate of bad rulers, not an intentional grandiose master plan.

1-14
Fun, yet the first really aggravating mission.  First time through, I have things wrapped up.  Secutor Felix can either Hard Smash the enemy Excavator for a 91% chance of ~110ish damage, or Upper Hand for ~90 damage.  As said Excavator has 170 HP, I figure why take a chance?  I'll just hit him with the 100% UH twice.  Unfortunately, after the Excavator runs past, when I go to complete the 2HKO I see Upper Hand has mysteriously dropped to 71 damage now.  And the Excavator's movement meant I couldn't catch up to Hard Smash him.  Dunno if I had the height (dis)advantage before or if Overflow ran out or something, but the 14 HP Excavator barely made it into town to wreck havoc(?!).

Second time, I switch Felius to Sentinel (Jack was already a Sentinel manning the right), but fail due to activating the reinforcements too soon and also being too effective in rushing my units up, when I really wanted to let the first wave come a little farther so I'd be in position to block the next set.

Third time, I get the abuse of the timing on the reinforcements right, and by intentionally stalling the third reinforcement set with lots of Shut Out / Crippling nonsense on the Right rather than killing them, the mission is much easier.  Yay!

1-16
More plot fail.  Respect the need for fight excuses, but...  come ON.  To make this work it requires Ragnar to be an idiot.  I mean, it'd have been better if he'd just flown into a rage and stomped off; fine, his hatred is so strong he's irrational about it.  Instead he's rational enough to talk about "No this is bad" yet not enough to explain WHY.  Worse, Stronach & co. are also idiots - do they all activate the Black ARM simultaneously?  Wouldn't a "can we find a brave volunteer" approach work better?  Or, better yet, change the plot so that Black ARM effects kick in an hour after activation, so after a test attempt Stronach & co. would have reason to doubt Ragnar?

Actually that's a problem with 1-15, too.  Fine, so 2/3 people in an expedition find a Black ARM, activate them around the same time, then kill the third person...  and then the 2 undead mercs get stomped by everyone else who put the area on lockdown and investigate what the hell went wrong.  It's not like they're vampires, they're described as ravening beasts not "hold still so I can attatch this equpiment to you and activate it so we can have friends."  Seriously, just change the plot to have the hour-later kick in so things could make more sense.

Yeah, the more I thought about this the less I liked it.  The entire black ARM plotline calls attention to the "ARMs are downloadable skillsofts from Shadowrun that you somehow learn the more you use!" plot element anyway, which is fine as a gameplay excuse but bizarre plot.  This is weird flavor even for the world of Wild ARMs and vague references to ancient fallen empires don't help.

2-1
Brutal, brutal mission what with the fact they've 4 levels on you, have a better tier of equipment (screw synthesis), and get a giant jolt of reinforcements.  Took me three tries, with the first attempt basically being a straight invasion that blundered into the surprise reinforcements of doom.  My winning strategy: clearly Loch Ness Monster abuse is required. Geomancer Levin immediately teleports over to the enemy side and wakes up 2 more of the enemy force (so 4 will charge across the water, not 2), then teleports back.  Slaughter the 4 as they wade through the swamp while also moving to the middle island.  This will activate the reinforcements harmlessly while out of range.  Levin once more drawed some across and into the swamp...  and actually a bit too much, as everything kind of fell apart and Levin / Clarissa / Felius died horribly to speedy and painful Berserker beats.  Thankfully, I had thought before that Ragnar was badly out of position - he was blundering about in the "right" side of the swamp if the enemy position is "up" - but as he went back, he drew the Berserker and others to follow him.  Thus staying in the swamp, rather than going on land to finish off the squishy mages now that shore guards Clarissa/Levin/Felius were dead.  So Labrynthia and Yulie rained Elementalist destruction on those who were in range while the swamp monster ground down their other forces fruitlessly chasing a Heal Berry-chewing Ragnar.  Things stabilizied, Labrynthia started reviving people, and shockingly I was back in business.  I found this one mostly on the fun side of difficult, at least.

2-2
Not TOO bad.  The fact that 3 CLM was required to get on the Lift was rather annoying and forced a restart, but doable after that.  This game really likes forcing you to change up classes.

2-3
Meh, beatdown that's very dependent on enemy positioning, which is hard to control.  They have their back to the wall = no Formation Arts.  The fact that I was now rich enough to use Revive Fruits made this doable at least.

2-4
ARGH, the "storm the gate" mission, my vote for most frustrating so far.  This one definitely required Fire Emblemish precision since, say, letting someone accidentally wander one space into range of the enemy Elementalists = death = restart.  Not sure why they recommended Berserkers here, it's clearly all about Grapplers to make the fight doable with the ludicrousness of picking up and throwing heavily armored Sentinels out of the way for massive damage.  (Okay, also picking up and throwing Elementalists, too.)  Took me five tries, I think.

2-9
The screwiness of counting all turns really aggravated here, despite it being ultimately an easy mission.  My normal team had noooooooooo way of beating the limit, their MOV scores just weren't high enough.  I guess you're supposed to use 6 Berserkers?  But I didn't pre-buy 6 sets of Berserker equipment.  No, while incredibly silly, I just went with Berserker Labby solo as she ran / warped her way through.  Because if it's just one person of course time moves slower!  Or something.  (At least I can kind of explain why enemy turns matter, I'll pretend that fewer enemies reduces the urgency on the escape maybe.).  Also I have no idea how important classes are to growths but I hope I get Labby back sooner rather than later so that she doesn't waste her level-ups in useless Berserker Strength boosts.

Also.  MASSIVE PLOT FAIL at the end of it.  Again, I can respect the need to not do a "And they live happily ever after" ending TOO soon.  But this is ridiculous!
A) The Council was doing super-evil things in what had to be EXTREME PUBLIC VIEW.  All those houses around?  The fact that Grauswein was being summoned in a "plaza," i.e. where people normally congregate?  All the people who came to see King Hrathnir, or saw Charlton insulting / threatening him?  And the mass summoning of undead, again in a PLAZA?!  I'm sorry, this is the end of any kind of public support for the Council, and I will be extremely annoyed if they try and seriously spin this as "Chevalet Blanc assassinated the king!"  Like Rupert tried with Levin's dad.
B) Heck, the entire streets should have been a panicked riot with masses of evacuees at the gates!  The whole government-is-trying-to-summon-a-superweapon-please-evacuate thing which presumably Chevalet Blanc spread, and even if they didn't, how could that secret possibly be kept when they're shouting about it with the soldiers?  At a PLAZA?  And presumably Rupert wasn't guarding the Grauswein suicidally, so there was some kind of getaway plan, meaning people had to know there needed to be a getaway.
C) And the worst part of all, why on earth did nobody bring up the EXTREME EVIL the Martial Guard had just been doing, very verifiably, to Levin's dad?  And say that King Hrathnir had nobly sacrificed himself to stop an insane scheme to blow up half the capital to get at Chevalet Blanc, and had acknowledged Clarissa as an (adopted) daughter?  If Levin's dad had refused to believe them or something, meh, but at least they tried.  Though from the setup they've made, "I may not be the princess but please investigate this attempted MASS MURDER and you'll see who the treasonous ones are" should have solved the problem right there, especially backed with Levin's support.
D) This is really a shadow of C, as Clarissa IS established as a bad liar, so I'm kinda fine with her just sulking in response to the "fake princess" accusation.  BUT.  Why act so shocked?  Of course Rupert knows!  She should have been preparing for this for a long time!  ...sigh.  I'd have been way happier if Clarissa had acted liberated and acknowledged that she was a fake (yay!  I don't have to lie anymore!) and then immediately went back to peppy, furious do-gooder and accused of Rupert of badness / indirectly causing Hrathnir to die.

So.  Meh.  I was expecting that the Grauswein would go off, which actually would have given the bad guys a solid excuse to keep after Chevalet Blanc and accuse them of being at fault - in that kind of chaos, it'd be hard to tell who did what with lots of rumors swirling about.  This way of keeping the plot going?  Laaaaaaaaaame.

Also, in non-villain / non-PC character thoughts, all I can say is that Katrina better have an "it's magic" backstory to explain her problems, i.e. she really does have a "hollow soul."  If she's supposed to be "today's made-up mental illness," then fail.  (Also hmm, on closer inspection, that sure looks like her in the logo with the sword.  Uh oh.)

[Ultradude]

Dragon Quarter has very little, if any, actual Backtracking, so generally, if you're re-exploring an area, then that's a bad sign.

Due note that there are two "Lift" areas; the one early in the game with Bosch, and the one you come in with Lin/Nina joined up; this is the only time the game really reuses a dungeon design, though its mostly for stylistic and plot consistency reasons (You're going consistently up, after all, the logic is same levels look the same, even if you're at a different point.)

Regarding your D-counter...7.8% sounds pretty standard for where you are; it sounds bad that running = the D-counter raises, but note that its 0.01% every like 20 steps; the amount you gain by merely running is so negligible, its honestly unimportant.  The real way you get your D-counter up is either using D-Dash too much (like...a lot too much.  Don't feel afraid to use it if you just want to get around Random Encounters, or get a quick speed boost), or more importantly, using D-Dive, which REALLY raises the counter.

Right. I'll be saving D-Dive for bosses as close to exclusively as possible. Hoping to get through without having to go with a retry, but the game seems so built for it that it almost feels like a shame that I'm trying not to.