Captain's Log
Stardate 1226.56
I have just recently arrived at the council of Big Damn Heros, but have been unable to get myself to care, as it appears to be about someone who is not me. There also seems to be murder afoot, but that just distracts from the real issue. How few women there are. There's that freaky blond chick, a little thin but looks like she'd know a trick or two. And that other one looks like she knows how to handle a sword. And that's not even looking at the sidekicks. That blue fruit especially's got some fine ladies. I mean, Goddess' are always divine, and that blond one reminds me of Chekov with a tight ass and short shorts. Of course... I'm not sure about that Heart one... Looks like a dude, but my guts says it has to be the team bitch.
Of course, to get their attention I'll have to do something manly and decisive. And there's a tribble ripe for the booting before it can make so many we're swarmed.
Wait... that blue fruit just said what?
End Captain's Log.
All right you green haired pansy! I got a few things to say. First! What's it you do? Save the Earth from fat guys who drown puppies in oil for fun? Hah! I've traveled through time to save the whales in order to prevent aliens from wiping out the planet! Where were you when that happened? Stopping someone from tipping over a trash can in Johannesburg I'm betting.
Second! You got it all wrong, it's supposed to be green skin, blue hair, and a space babe! Not some freaky looking earth dude!
And third? Never, ever, bring up that smug, sanctimonious tool Picard!
##Manly Pawnch to the Face: Captain Planet
So, now that that's done, to business. So, hey there blondie. Want to see my wessel, it's the biggest in the fleet.
##Vote: Captain Planet