And some of us were sleeping! Also, Captain Gordon, the Federation would like to send you this commendation for your heroism, truly you are the defender of Earth! And no, before you ask, we're not hiring any starship captains right now.
Regardless, I hear there's Klingon activity in the neutral zone, so I can't hang around. But if you even need me, just beam off a transmission and I'll be there.
Scotty, beam me up!
Captain's Log - Stardate 31415
The Conference at the planet Heroclix IV has ended successfully. With the inspiration of my presence and manly, manly punch, they have managed to solve their issues and peace reigns once more. In more personal matters, Starfleet will be dissapointed by Captain Gordon's regrettable attachment to the EDF, but it's how things had to be. Not only can he be competition to my position as the sexiest and most heroic officer in Starfleet, but he also has his priorities out of whack too. And may not be so understanding when he finds out that I spent the last three days with his sidekick Jennifer, helping her... understand why her captain is always so focused on work. All in all, the day saved, the girl most thoroughly won, a successful mission in every sense of the word. Now to head off to the Neutral Zone to beat up some klingons.
Sulu, second star to the right and straight on til morning, Warp 4.