Author Topic: Tournament of Randomness - Round 1: Pool C (Read 3092 times)

Excal · « **on:** July 27, 2010, 02:45:05 AM »

Winners

Ion outquizzed Gato
Rita left Zidane all washed up.
Team Rinoa blasted off again
Hilda stole the victory from Magikarp
Leo pulled a fast one on Liz and Ard
Lymsleia enjoyed an Easter victory
and Kanji counted his eggs in the basket.

New Matches

Sadly, no huge writeups this time.

#17: Holly (WoO) vs. Ike (FE9/10) - Run for Political Office
#18: Maria (SO3) vs. Edna (XF) - Mini Golf
#19: Dungeon Man (EB) vs. Necron - Mecha Combat
#20: Gilgamesh vs. Duster (Mother3) - Write a Novel
#21: Kefka vs. Mewt - Treasure Hunting
#22: Flay Gunnar vs. Luigi Mario - Swimming Contest
#23: Rafa/Malak "Special Skills" Galthanas vs. Hammer of the Mad Skillz - American Gladiator
#24: Frocobo vs. Joachim - Censoring Vietnamese Cable.

superaielman · « **Reply #1 on:** July 27, 2010, 02:53:06 AM »

#18: Maria (SO3) vs. Edna (XF) - Maria's too sharp to let Edna get away with cheating, and she's ruthless enough to beat the shit out of Edna if she tries.
#21: Kefka vs. Mewt - Treasure Hunting- Havoc Wings Mewt for the hell of it, wins by default.
#22: Flay Gunnar vs. Luigi Mario - Swimming Contest- Frog suit time.
#23: Rafa/Malak "Special Skills" Galthanas vs. Hammer of the Mad Skillz - American Gladiator- Bribes gladiators to throw events. He has Rico training him, while Malak and Rafa are Malak and Rafa.
#24: Frocobo vs. Joachim - Censoring Vietnamese Cable.- Who the fuck is Frocobo?

Random Consonant · « **Reply #2 on:** July 27, 2010, 02:57:55 AM »

#17: Holly (WoO) vs. Ike (FE9/10) - Run for Political Office
He fights for his friends. Makes for an excellent campaign slogan. Alternatively, some of Holly's dirtier fanfics get out and are used as mudslinging material by Soren or something.

#18: Maria (SO3) vs. Edna (XF) - Mini Golf
I'll bite.

#19: Dungeon Man (EB) vs. Necron - Mecha Combat
Well Dungeon Man is basically a giant robot.

#20: Gilgamesh vs. Duster (Mother3) - Write a Novel
Gilgamesh would probably get bored trying to write a novel.

#21: Kefka vs. Mewt - Treasure Hunting
Mewt tries to get a law passed to make it impossible for Kefka to win, finds out the hard way that this isn't FFTA Ivalice.

#22: Flay Gunnar vs. Luigi Mario - Swimming Contest
All those underwater levels come in handy.

#23: Rafa/Malak "Special Skills" Galthanas vs. Hammer of the Mad Skillz - American Gladiator
Edit: sure, being semi-proficient with sticks owns Hammer here.

#24: Frocobo vs. Joachim - Censoring Vietnamese Cable.
Something tells me that this is firmly out of a chocobo's league, regardless of whatever Joachim's level of skill at this would be.

VySaika · « **Reply #3 on:** July 27, 2010, 03:34:54 AM »

#17: Holly (WoO) vs. Ike (FE9/10) - Run for Political Office: Dunno Holly, but I think Ike has a good shot at winning this against nearly anyone. The one big issue being that he doesn't WANT to win it.
#18: Maria (SO3) vs. Edna (XF) - Mini Golf: Yeah, see Super. Definately her match.
#19: Dungeon Man (EB) vs. Necron - Mecha Combat: See Random
#20: Gilgamesh vs. Duster (Mother3) - Write a Novel: Um. Hmm. Really unsure. Gonna vote Gilgamesh on the grounds that his novel would likely be more entertaining to read, if not nessesarily more well written.
#21: Kefka vs. Mewt - Treasure Hunting - Nothing like being able to cut continents in half with the light of judgement to get at burried treasure! And Kefka's exactly the kind of lunatic who'd do just that.
#22: Flay Gunnar vs. Luigi Mario - Swimming Contest: Dude can make fire work underwater. That takes some skills. Not to mention busting out the frog suit. Flay...I'll give him credit for being obviously athletic and probably a good swimmer, but I'd also be surprised if he remembered to waterproof his gear.
#23: Rafa/Malak "Special Skills" Galthanas vs. Hammer of the Mad Skillz - American Gladiator: Names are clearly middle-eastern, thus the network won't allow them to win at "American" anything. *shot*
#24: Frocobo vs. Joachim - Censoring Vietnamese Cable.: Dunno Frocobo.

Excal · « **Reply #4 on:** July 27, 2010, 03:36:27 AM »

Frocobo is a chibi chocobo that lives in the afro of the black guy in FF13.

So far as I know, that is the entirity of its character

Taishyr · « **Reply #5 on:** July 27, 2010, 03:49:02 AM »

#17: Holly (WoO) vs. Ike (FE9/10) - Run for Political Office - Gutcheck, willing to take arguments on this since I barely know Holly. Ike tries to lose because he doesn't want to win, gets elected anyway by a bunch of confused Americans herded into the polls by Soren.
#18: Maria (SO3) vs. Edna (XF) - Mini Golf - Blows up Edna's golf ball. Then Edna.
#19: Dungeon Man (EB) vs. Necron - Mecha Combat - ...gutcheck again. Someone put forth a defense the other way, I'll listen - but Golem-Mecha vs. Space Flea seems an interesting fight regardless. <_<
#20: Gilgamesh vs. Duster (Mother3) - Write a Novel - Steals Gilgamesh's book once it's done, publishes it himself. Then gets turned into a toad! ...and proceeds to write another novel based on that that sells better than the original stolen book.
#21: Kefka vs. Mewt - Treasure Hunting - Mewt doesn't have Move-Find Item.
#22: Flay Gunnar vs. Luigi Mario - Swimming Contest - Both hold their breath forever, Flay via item fiddlery. Flay's in better shape. Match to him.
#23: Rafa/Malak "Special Skills" Galthanas vs. Hammer of the Mad Skillz - American Gladiator - Have the talent with using sticks to pull this off.
#24: Frocobo vs. Joachim - Censoring Vietnamese Cable. - Wanders into the censorship offense, the awestruck citizens there use him to censor everything. While Joachim may be more directly effective, Frocobo's widespread use covering private body parts and curse words gives him the sideways firepower to win.

Luther Lansfeld · « **Reply #6 on:** July 27, 2010, 04:26:39 AM »

#17: Holly (WoO) vs. Ike (FE9/10) - Run for Political Office- IkexSoren gay smut found on the Internet, flawless victoly.
#18: Maria (SO3) vs. Edna (XF) - Mini Golf- Shoot that bitch!
#19: Dungeon Man (EB) vs. Necron - Mecha Combat- um
#20: Gilgamesh vs. Duster (Mother3) - Write a Novel
#21: Kefka vs. Mewt - Treasure Hunting- Mewt is an incompetent shit. Kefka could threaten people to do it or something, yo.
#22: Flay Gunnar vs. Luigi Mario - Swimming Contest- Voting on SMG form of Luigi!
#23: Rafa/Malak "Special Skills" Galthanas vs. Hammer of the Mad Skillz - American Gladiator
#24: Frocobo vs. Joachim - Censoring Vietnamese Cable.- Censoring cable via smashing it with a giant tower full of people seems pretty effective

Dark Holy Elf · « **Reply #7 on:** July 27, 2010, 04:29:59 AM »

#17: Holly (WoO) vs. Ike (FE9/10) - Run for Political Office: Well, Ike can't give speeches to save his life, is very vulnerable to rumours that he and Soren are more than just friends (inspired partially by Holly's fanfiction on the matter, no doubt), and perhaps most important, doesn't want to win. On the other hand, Soren as a campaign manager might be evil enough to pull it off anyway. Eh, voting for the closer matchup, for now.
#18: Maria (SO3) vs. Edna (XF) - Mini Golf: Maria is athletic, not to mention obviously has good aim. Edna's only hope is to cheat, and shall we all remember how well her last confrontation with a strong-headed young woman went? Yeah, I thought so.
#19: Dungeon Man (EB) vs. Necron - Mecha Combat: um
#20: Gilgamesh vs. Duster (Mother3) - Write a Novel: Wrights an epic starring himself and all his zany adventures. Confused shoppers pick it up thinking it's a different Epic of Gilgamesh.
#21: Kefka vs. Mewt - Treasure Hunting: Kefka unearths hidden mineral reserves by nuking mountains with the light of judgement. Mewt doesn't sound like he's equipped to win much of anything.
#22: Flay Gunnar vs. Luigi Mario - Swimming Contest: I'm sorry, but Frog Suit aside (which is way too hard to get), have you guys not tried to swim in Mario games? It's pretty much the most unpleasant thing ever. Especially in more recent games. Flay... uh, well MK2 has an underwater dungeon. Not to mention Flay would probably just command a bunch of sea monsters to eat Luigi.
#23: Rafa/Malak "Special Skills" Galthanas vs. Hammer of the Mad Skillz - American Gladiator: Easy. Rafa and Malak charge at Hammer from opposite sides, he ducks and they hit each other. It's the only way Rafa and Malak and anything to do with battle can end.
#24: Frocobo vs. Joachim - Censoring Vietnamese Cable: I had no fucking clue who to vote for here, but Tai made me picture cute little frocobos covering up anything objectionable and cute little chocobo tweets blocking out censored language, and that is too adorable to vote against.

SnowFire · « **Reply #8 on:** July 27, 2010, 05:06:05 AM »

Quote from: Random Consonant on July 27, 2010, 02:57:55 AM

What is American Gladiator.

You missed this bit of cultural Americana? This is American Gladiators, or at least the most famous part.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3UPP40EOJDg
This is a short and disturbing leg-jiggle clip from the remake rather than the 80s version though. The fights are supposed to go longer than this.

#17: Holly (WoO) vs. Ike (FE9/10) - Run for Political Office
Oz has very messed up politics, and Ike is a natural leader when he wants to be.
#18: Maria (SO3) vs. Edna (XF) - Mini Golf
Edna's purpose in life is to fail in situations such as these.
#22: Flay Gunnar vs. Luigi Mario - Swimming Contest
That's one thing the Mario family has on Sonic, they don't drown ever.
#23: Rafa/Malak "Special Skills" Galthanas vs. Hammer of the Mad Skillz - American Gladiator
Epic. Guys, this is HAMMER. He fails at least as much as the wonder twins and isn't technically a combat character. Plus Rafa & Malak do use sticks, which is pretty close to those poofy staff thingies you use to fight, while Hammer only uses a gun which is totally illegal here.
#24: Frocobo vs. Joachim - Censoring Vietnamese Cable.
Joachim would *rewrite* Vietnamese Cable to be more heroic, which is not what the bosses exactly want. Frocobo can do some cute censoring so sure.

Pyro · « **Reply #9 on:** July 27, 2010, 05:10:10 AM »

#17: Holly (WoO) vs. Ike (FE9/10) - Run for Political Office: Is homosexual and shows no ability to deceive people. Soren or not that is just insurmountable. Holly is shown to be capable of deceiving people with gusto and in general is competent.
#18: Maria (SO3) vs. Edna (XF) - Mini Golf: Has skill and technique. Also a gun.
#19: Dungeon Man (EB) vs. Necron - Mecha Combat: Dungeon Man IS a mecha. Presumably Necron would need to fight in one, but he can't find any that he fits in so he loses.
#20: Gilgamesh vs. Duster (Mother3) - Write a Novel
#21: Kefka vs. Mewt - Treasure Hunting: Mineral deposits with the Light of Judgement works.
#22: Flay Gunnar vs. Luigi Mario - Swimming Contest: Luigi may be capable of swimming (horrendously) in some water but he can't swim in a current. Flay is incredibly athletic and commands the minions of the sea, not to mention an entire evil cabal network that can be used to sabotage Luigi in all kinds of nefarious ways. Also an Alchemist with alchemist minions so he's sure to have many different ways of getting an insurmountable advantage that way. Alternatively he just drills his way through the water like a real man.
#23: Rafa/Malak "Special Skills" Galthanas vs. Hammer of the Mad Skillz - American Gladiator: While Hammer is amusing, he is a pansy bitch unless he has a gun. Rafa and Malak at least display minimal combat competence. Also, THEY FIGHT ON FREAKING PLATFORMS SO TRUTH/UNTRUTH ARE GODLIKE. Sure, that works.
#24: Frocobo vs. Joachim - Censoring Vietnamese Cable.: Cute little Chocobo chick covering up any unwanted images. Cute little chocobo chick chirps covering for unwanted words.

Cmdr_King · « **Reply #10 on:** July 27, 2010, 06:55:51 AM »

#17: Run for Political Office

All elections are won on the votes of old people. Old, bitter, senile people. Ike, of course, is even a general. Old people will vote for General Ike. They may or may not think it's 1950 at the time. Meanwhile, no women will win the vote while the greatest generation still lives.
Holly (WoO) vs. Ike (FE9/10)

#18: Mini Golf

Minigolf is really all about zen. You'd think this means Edna loses, but see, her real talent is making people angry with rage. She'll do bad, but by the second stroke Maria will be doing worse.
Maria (SO3) vs. Edna (XF)

#19: Mecha Combat

Man, no mecha would fit Necron in there right.
Dungeon Man (EB) vs. Necron

#20: Write a Novel

I'd certainly read the Epic of Gilgamesh
Gilgamesh vs. Duster (Mother3)

#21: Treasure Hunting

Sure, light of judgement hype.
Kefka vs. Mewt

#22: Swimming Contest

Flay just cheats here. I'm not sure HOW, he just does.
Flay Gunnar vs. Luigi Mario

#23: American Gladiator

Since Rafa and Malak get to work on th esame team, they're obviously the gladiators here. However, Hammer's really good at running away; he'll easily take the Eliminator and win the game, no matter how he fares on the other events.
Rafa/Malak "Special Skills" Galthanas vs. Hammer, the Suppllier

#24: Censoring Vietnamese Cable-

Just smashing cable boxes doesn't really work; afterall, that also means government approved propaganda doesn't get out. No, you have to cover up what's in the programming, and Joachim himself is entirely too objectionable to do it. Using the adorable frocobo to cover things up, meanwhile...
Frocobo vs. Joachim

Dhyerwolf · « **Reply #11 on:** July 27, 2010, 06:59:27 AM »

#22: Flay Gunnar vs. Luigi Mario - Swimming Contest
#24: Frocobo vs. Joachim - Censoring Vietnamese Cable. The logistical flaw is that Frocobo doesn't have any knowledge at all that would allow to know when to censor.

Nitori · « **Reply #12 on:** July 27, 2010, 09:12:24 AM »

#17: Holly (WoO) vs. Ike (FE9/10) - Run for Political Office - Literally no character vs. literally military
#18: Maria (SO3) vs. Edna (XF) - Mini Golf
#19: Dungeon Man (EB) vs. Necron - Mecha Combat
#20: Gilgamesh vs. Duster (Mother3) - Write a Novel - Duster is literally described as completely ordinary
#21: Kefka vs. Mewt - Treasure Hunting
#22: Flay Gunnar vs. Luigi Mario - Swimming Contest - lrn2mario
#24: Frocobo vs. Joachim - Censoring Vietnamese Cable. - I would literally trust the censoring judgment of a baby chocobo

Yoshiken · « **Reply #13 on:** July 27, 2010, 03:00:35 PM »

#17: Holly (WoO) vs. Ike (FE9/10) - Run for Political Office - FE9 shows that he does better when he doesn't want to win. Go go General Ike.
#18: Maria (SO3) vs. Edna (XF) - Mini Golf - Abstain.
#19: Dungeon Man (EB) vs. Necron - Mecha Combat - Uses plot powers, creates the ultimate mecha out of a tree and mist. Go go living incarnation of a tree.
#20: Gilgamesh vs. Duster (Mother3) - Write a Novel - Duster would struggle to write anything, while Gilgamesh is Gilgamesh. Go go funniest novel about crossdressing ever?
#21: Kefka vs. Mewt - Treasure Hunting - Oh holy crap. Going against Kefka in anything that requires moving is just asking for hell. Go go destruction~
#22: Flay Gunnar vs. Luigi Mario - Swimming Contest - Flay always just... appears. Where you least expect him. Luigi would ace this, get to the end of the pool and... find Flay finished a few minutes before him and is already talking to the crowd. Go go FLAAAAAAAY~
#23: Rafa/Malak "Special Skills" Galthanas vs. Hammer of the Mad Skillz - American Gladiator - Abstain.
#24: Frocobo vs. Joachim - Censoring Vietnamese Cable. - Can actually do stuff. Go go opposable thumbs?

Ultradude · « **Reply #14 on:** July 27, 2010, 03:12:12 PM »

#17: Holly (WoO) vs. Ike (FE9/10) - Run for Political Office - WE LIKE IKE
#19: Dungeon Man (EB) vs. Necron - Mecha Combat - Docks with Dark Brain or something.
#21: Kefka vs. Mewt - Treasure Hunting - The word 'boom' works here.
#24: Frocobo vs. Joachim - Censoring Vietnamese Cable. - Kweh-censor wins the day.

Talaysen · « **Reply #15 on:** July 28, 2010, 12:03:48 AM »

#17: Holly (WoO) vs. Ike (FE9/10) - Run for Political Office
#18: Maria (SO3) vs. Edna (XF) - Mini Golf
#19: Dungeon Man (EB) vs. Necron - Mecha Combat
#20: Gilgamesh vs. Duster (Mother3) - Write a Novel
#21: Kefka vs. Mewt - Treasure Hunting
#22: Flay Gunnar vs. Luigi Mario - Swimming Contest
#23: Rafa/Malak "Special Skills" Galthanas vs. Hammer of the Mad Skillz - American Gladiator
#24: Frocobo vs. Joachim - Censoring Vietnamese Cable.

dude789 · « **Reply #16 on:** July 28, 2010, 12:11:04 AM »

#17: Holly (WoO) vs. Ike (FE9/10) - Run for Political Office
#18: Maria (SO3) vs. Edna (XF) - Mini Golf
#19: Dungeon Man (EB) vs. Necron - Mecha Combat
#20: Gilgamesh vs. Duster (Mother3) - Write a Novel
#21: Kefka vs. Mewt - Treasure Hunting
#22: Flay Gunnar vs. Luigi Mario - Swimming Contest
#23: Rafa/Malak "Special Skills" Galthanas vs. Hammer of the Mad Skillz - American Gladiator
#24: Frocobo vs. Joachim - Censoring Vietnamese Cable.

DjinnAndTonic · « **Reply #17 on:** July 28, 2010, 03:37:16 AM »

#17: Holly (WoO) vs. Ike (FE9/10) - Run for Political Office - Gotta go with the We Like Ike hype here.
#18: Maria (SO3) vs. Edna (XF) - Mini Golf - Edna seems like she would have had the time to learn how to play idle games like this. Maria's busy flying spaceships and converting matter into other kinds of matter.
#19: Dungeon Man (EB) vs. Necron - Mecha Combat - thought really neither of them seem really suited to driving mecha...
#20: Gilgamesh vs. Duster (Mother3) - Write a Novel - Gilgamesh has 4 freakin' arms! He'll finish like 4 novels while Duster's still trying to figure out how to hold the pencil. Sure, one of those will be epic Twilight-level fail, but he's got enough quantity to beat out Duster.
#21: Kefka vs. Mewt - Treasure Hunting - Mewt might find treasure, but his deadbeat dad would beat him up and use the money to buy booze.
#22: Flay Gunnar vs. Luigi Mario - Swimming Contest - Though there are some levels where Luigi would just instantly drown.
#23: Rafa/Malak "Special Skills" Galthanas vs. Hammer of the Mad Skillz - American Gladiator - Just simple math really. There's two of them and Hammer is roughly the fail of either one of them.
#24: Frocobo vs. Joachim - Censoring Vietnamese Cable - Dammit Tai.

Lance · « **Reply #18 on:** July 29, 2010, 12:52:37 AM »

Votes now. Comments later.

#17: Holly (WoO) vs. Ike (FE9/10) - Run for Political Office
#18: Maria (SO3) vs. Edna (XF) - Mini Golf
#19: Dungeon Man (EB) vs. Necron - Mecha Combat
#20: Gilgamesh vs. Duster (Mother3) - Write a Novel
#21: Kefka vs. Mewt - Treasure Hunting
#22: Flay Gunnar vs. Luigi Mario - Swimming Contest
#23: Rafa/Malak "Special Skills" Galthanas vs. Hammer of the Mad Skillz - American Gladiator
#24: Frocobo vs. Joachim - Censoring Vietnamese Cable

OblivionKnight · « **Reply #19 on:** July 29, 2010, 03:24:03 AM »

#17: Holly (WoO) vs. Ike (FE9/10) - Run for Political Office - Hey, look at how popular witches were in Wicked!
#18: Maria (SO3) vs. Edna (XF) - Mini Golf
#19: Dungeon Man (EB) vs. Necron - Mecha Combat
#20: Gilgamesh vs. Duster (Mother3) - Write a Novel - Pretty easy - writes a novel on the adventures of Gilgamesh in Babylon...for kids!
#21: Kefka vs. Mewt - Treasure Hunting - Would hunt instead of blow things up and spout off horrible English lines!
#22: Flay Gunnar vs. Luigi Mario - Swimming Contest
#23: Rafa/Malak "Special Skills" Galthanas vs. Hammer of the Mad Skillz - American Gladiator
#24: Frocobo vs. Joachim - Censoring Vietnamese Cable. - Censors it with his penis...because he realizes that you CAN NEVER censor it. Frocobo...wouldn't realize that!

Dhyerwolf · « **Reply #20 on:** July 29, 2010, 05:59:11 AM »

Quote from: Taitoro on July 27, 2010, 03:49:02 AM

#22: Flay Gunnar vs. Luigi Mario - Swimming Contest - Yeah, Luigi can hold his breath forever. No proof Flay can. So I'll kneejerk for the bro.

Why does Flay naturally need to? We have proof that he knows how to synth items that allow for breathing underwater?

Luther Lansfeld · « **Reply #21 on:** July 29, 2010, 06:49:20 AM »

I'm not sure how swimming contest and breathing underwater infinitely are even related... being able to breathe underwater infinitely does not mean you would be good at swimming (and the Marios uh aren't).

Dark Holy Elf · « **Reply #22 on:** July 29, 2010, 07:27:06 AM »

Not to mention I'm not sure where this "holds breath forever" thing comes from, since it doesn't apply to any of the Mario games I've played. SMB1/3/W/N have stage timers (which are like 3 minutes long), SMB2 lacks water, and the 3D games, Mario and Luigi -do- drown.

Twilkitri · « **Reply #23 on:** July 29, 2010, 01:17:05 PM »

#17: Holly (WoO) vs. Ike (FE9/10) - Run for Political Office - Pass
#18: Maria (SO3) vs. Edna (XF) - Mini Golf - Pass
#19: Dungeon Man (EB) vs. Necron - Mecha Combat
#20: Gilgamesh vs. Duster (Mother3) - Write a Novel - Pass
#21: Kefka vs. Mewt - Treasure Hunting - Pass
#22: Flay Gunnar vs. Luigi Mario - Swimming Contest - Pass
#23: Rafa/Malak "Special Skills" Galthanas vs. Hammer of the Mad Skillz - American Gladiator
#24: Frocobo vs. Joachim - Censoring Vietnamese Cable. - Pass

Taishyr · « **Reply #24 on:** July 29, 2010, 03:42:37 PM »

In general it's when swimmers need to come up for air that they slow down. This being said, I wasn't aware we had proof of breathing underwater items... which does pretty much give Flay the match, as he's in better shape. Vote swap.

(To NEB, I'm pretty sure it's longer than 3 minutes, and the timer's on -all- the stages so that's obviously not a breath limit. >_>)

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Author Topic: Tournament of Randomness - Round 1: Pool C (Read 3092 times)

Taishyr

Taishyr