Ohhh man. Okay. Emo moment. Emomo ment. Emomomomomomomomomoment. Emomo mint.
First things first, I am no longer gonna be online after this. For quiiiite a while. Long story short, I was borrowing internet from my landlord, and that's run out.
However. I'd be happy to pay my share for the internet, except I can't because the landlord's crazy ex is still trying to get me kicked out of this place. Sigh. Her name's still on the mortgage, so he has to take her opinions into account, but he's been going through legal battles for a while to try and get sole ownership of the house.
Did I mention we don't have a phone for the same reason? This means I have no internet, no landline, and I don't have the money to waste on credit for a mobile, meaning I have literally no way of contacting people outside of pre-arranged meetings and heading out and hoping they're at home - if I know where they live to begin with!
(I know I said about paying for internet, yet not paying for credit - that's because internet is monthly and I get more out of it, while I resent paying stupid amounts for credit when I could get the same and more for less money through internet/landline.)
I'm currently looking for work, which is made a lot more difficult when you have no way of contacting anyone. I'm most likely dropping out of my college course now in order to get a job so that I can keep on living in the place I'm living in, which I'm not sure I can carry on living in! Argh!
So I'm looking for work, except I can't get a job because I've never had a job before and every job wants previous experience, which I can't get because I need previous experience. Dammit. :/
Sleep pattern is fucked as ever - the fact that I'm posting this at 5.17am probably proves that! That really doesn't help when I'm meant to be looking for work and I'm sleeping during the times that the damn places are even open. >.<
Recently, I've had this strange thing where I want to kill things. I'll be honest, it's nothing 100% new, but it's become really weird lately. I had one moment last week where I was listening to music and somehow managed to imagine people burning. It was only for a couple of seconds, but I swear I saw people on fire, and lots of them. Considering my depression's come back again lately, I really wanted to go to the doctor's about the whole thing. Oh, but y'know what? That requires a fucking phone. Sigh. Fuck you, world. Fuck. You.
tl;dr - Living situation sucks, but at least it exists. Job situation sucks. Sleep situation sucks. General life? Kinda sucks.
[/emo]