Author Topic: Good Morning 2011: Wherein the emo comes to roost (Read 96975 times)

Idun · « **Reply #1100 on:** October 07, 2011, 03:22:54 AM »

OK, scratch that. I just want to be adopted.

Cotigo · « **Reply #1101 on:** October 07, 2011, 06:01:12 AM »

Don't worry. As much as Jim talks about other people's mothers, well... I mean, that had to come from somewhere. I'm sure she'd invite you to bed. Or at least on a date.

NotMiki · « **Reply #1102 on:** October 07, 2011, 06:09:26 AM »

You guys know my mother sometimes visits the boards, right?

Anthony Edward Stark · « **Reply #1103 on:** October 07, 2011, 06:59:19 AM »

So she already knows I have an extremely dexterous tongue?

Cmdr_King · « **Reply #1104 on:** October 07, 2011, 07:08:33 AM »

I'd be disappointed if she didn't.

Anthony Edward Stark · « **Reply #1105 on:** October 07, 2011, 07:16:30 AM »

You're not the only one. I've sunk a lot of dollars into a promotional firm to circulate that fact.

Cotigo · « **Reply #1106 on:** October 07, 2011, 07:17:03 AM »

Quote from: NotMiki on October 07, 2011, 06:09:26 AM

You guys know my mother sometimes visits the boards, right?

You realize I'd say that anyway right.

metroid composite · « **Reply #1107 on:** October 07, 2011, 03:05:23 PM »

Quote from: NotMiki on October 07, 2011, 06:09:26 AM

You guys know my mother sometimes visits the boards, right?

Man, you're so lucky. I haven't been able to talk my mother into visiting these boards, even though she knows and likes a good six people in the DL.

Idun · « **Reply #1108 on:** October 07, 2011, 03:34:36 PM »

Well this is a plea to Jim's Mother:

Adopt me. ;_;

PS, Do you play DDR?

Lady Door · « **Reply #1109 on:** October 07, 2011, 08:03:01 PM »

I need a haircut. I am also getting frustrated waiting to hear about the actual changes to my job/salary. If you're just joining us at home, I'm chronically underpaid and I'm about to get a big promotion and a commiserate salary adjustment. Whatever that means.

So let's play!

If my raise is...

<10%, I'll cut it at home. (And maybe my wrists.)
10%-15%, I'll just cut it however the stylist suggests/trim. (I may also cry and subscribe to Craigslist:Jobs.)
15-25%, I'll cut it however the stylist suggests and dye it a dark, ruddy brown. (Just this side of black. I'll make it up in eyeliner.)
25-50%, I'll do a layered cut and dye the under layers a bright color (teal or red). (Reality with just a little spice.)
50-60%, I'll cut my hair shorter than normal, and do bits of two bright colors. (Shit's about to get crazy, y'all.)
60%+, I'll cut my hair short and feathery and dye my whole head a bright color. (I will also treat whoever shows up at DLC Florida and is interested to a round of drinks.

)

Quote from: Grefter on October 07, 2011, 11:05:26 PM

Also I am disappointed that 70% isn't a mohawk.

70%, I'm rocking a mohawk.

I'll post a picture after I get the haircut.

Idun · « **Reply #1110 on:** October 07, 2011, 08:43:49 PM »

Oooh, I want you to get a 50-60% raise.

Grefter · « **Reply #1111 on:** October 07, 2011, 11:05:26 PM »

You people all fail at making the right jokes at the right time. Rob's were of course spot on with timing, but the posts straight after being about Niu are completely and totally ruining the flow here. This is how it should have gone.

Quote from: Idun on October 07, 2011, 02:48:51 AM

I can't stop thinking about Jim's mom.

Oh man, neither can I.

THAT FUCKING SIMPLE.

Also I am disappointed that 70% isn't a mohawk.

metroid composite · « **Reply #1112 on:** October 08, 2011, 01:24:41 AM »

There's a part of me that wants one of the options to be "I will get my hair cut exactly like Justin Beiber". But Mohawks are just cooler than Justin Beiber....

(I've never actually known a raise to be more than 10%, but on the other hand I've never actually changed titles or done things dramatically above and beyond my job description. Silly extracurricular activities like writing a weekly design column unprompted, yeah, I've done that, but not actual responsibility).

Jo'ou Ranbu · « **Reply #1113 on:** October 08, 2011, 02:29:17 AM »

Quote from: metroid composite on October 08, 2011, 01:24:41 AM

There's a part of me that wants one of the options to be "I will get my hair cut exactly like Justin Beiber". But Mohawks are just cooler than Justin Beiber....

(I've never actually known a raise to be more than 10%, but on the other hand I've never actually changed titles or done things dramatically above and beyond my job description. Silly extracurricular activities like writing a weekly design column unprompted, yeah, I've done that, but not actual responsibility).

Hey, I just had a 20%-ish raise! But yeah different strokes.

Also, please don't cut yourself Ashley. =(

Quote from: Grefter on October 07, 2011, 11:05:26 PM

You people all fail at making the right jokes at the right time. Rob's were of course spot on with timing, but the posts straight after being about Niu are completely and totally ruining the flow here. This is how it should have gone.

Quote from: Idun on October 07, 2011, 02:48:51 AM
I can't stop thinking about Jim's mom.

Oh man, neither can I.

THAT FUCKING SIMPLE.

Wait there was a joke?

Cotigo · « **Reply #1114 on:** October 08, 2011, 04:00:06 AM »

If you get a 100 percent raise will you please do a Sinaid O'Conner? I don't mean shave your head, I want you to rip up a picture of the pope on TV.

Lady Door · « **Reply #1115 on:** October 08, 2011, 05:04:32 AM »

It's not a "raise" so much as a reassigned salary. My salary sucks for the job I'm doing now because it was a lateral move on paper, but NOT a lateral move in duties. This was mildly readjusted with a cumulative ~15% raise from my starting salary, but I'm still about 20% away from even reaching a normal salary for my job title as it is. This new job should be a HUGE promotion, and it really wouldn't be out of place for me to get what is effectively a 60% raise. I suppose this may be why it's called a "salary adjustment" as opposed to a raise.

Quote from: Makkotah on October 08, 2011, 04:00:06 AM

If you get a 100 percent raise will you please do a Sinaid O'Conner? I don't mean shave your head, I want you to rip up a picture of the pope on TV.

If I get a 100% raise, I'll fly to over and do it on a Japanese gameshow.

Jo'ou Ranbu · « **Reply #1116 on:** October 08, 2011, 08:17:15 PM »

In all fairness, Ashley probably wouldn't get much flak for ripping a picture of our current pope on TV, let alone -Japanese- TV. -However-, she should totally pull a Sinead O' Connor haircut and paint her remaining hairbulbs blonde if she gets a 100% raise.

Also, news on your cashy cashy when, LD?

Lady Door · « **Reply #1117 on:** October 09, 2011, 01:06:14 AM »

I don't think I can pull off a mohawk, much less being nearly bald. At least the mohawk grows back faster.

Should know something Tuesday, or at least that's when we're supposed agree on the job description and announce my promotion to the company so I'd better know something about the pay.

Cotigo · « **Reply #1118 on:** October 10, 2011, 01:29:57 PM »

tl;dw: What a crazy fucking weekend.

Lady Door · « **Reply #1119 on:** October 11, 2011, 07:50:52 PM »

Well, I totally set myself up for that fall.

Looks like the company is happy to pay me in kind words (CEO's parting comments shared that everyone I've worked with thinks I'm doing great) and ignore things like "market rate."

They do consider this a "raise" and not an "adjustment," meaning it's limited to a maximum percentage of my current rate.

i.e., Imma go cut my wrists now.

(Concession: I get a review for an almost guaranteed identical raise in February, and I'm put in the pool for a share if we make a successful exit. Translation: I'm going to do everything in my power to get this company sold, because that's the only way I'm getting any money out of staying here.)

Luther Lansfeld · « **Reply #1120 on:** October 11, 2011, 08:29:13 PM »

So do you actually get more money?

Lady Door · « **Reply #1121 on:** October 11, 2011, 10:00:07 PM »

I do, but it's 10%. If it wasn't limited to the raise ceilings (caps out at 10%), it would have been 22%.

Market rate at the bottom quartile for the job tasks I'm being promoted to is somewhere around 40% above my current rate. (Job tasks, mind you. I'm being very specific about my particular qualifications, not just going by "job title" ranges.) So. Yeah. Disappointing is one word for it.

But, hey, at least I get a few extra bucks.

Idun · « **Reply #1122 on:** October 12, 2011, 12:26:41 AM »

I climbed in my back window after convincing a person that I really do live on the third floor. I can't take Roland out since I can't get in my room, and have left war marks near the doorknob.

I really thought today was going to be streamlined.

Shale · « **Reply #1123 on:** October 12, 2011, 12:34:31 AM »

That interview I went to last week paid off. Job offered and accepted. Starting Monday, I will be covering federal environmental policy - specifically everything having to do with water quality. This is....I can barely process it. When I got into journalism, my goal was policy reporting at the national level. And I that's what I'm going to do starting in six days. With a TEN FUCKING THOUSAND DOLLAR raise over my last job to boot.

This day is awesome.

Idun · « **Reply #1124 on:** October 12, 2011, 12:38:27 AM »

First to officially say YAY

News:

Author Topic: Good Morning 2011: Wherein the emo comes to roost (Read 96975 times)

Idun

Idun

Idun

Idun

Idun