Results
25. Luke Skywalker v Minsc - Swimsuit Contest III/IIIII
26. Prince of all Cosmos v Miles Edgeworth - Direct a Movie I/IIIII II
27. Bill and Ted v Austin Powers - Sax and Violins III/IIII
28. Dennis Nedry v Heavy, TF2 - Taunting/Gloating I/IIIII III
29. Angel Islington v Suezo, Monster Rancher - Evade the Illuminati and Discover the Truth I/
30. Char Anzabel v Hagrid - Elvis Impersonation IIIII/I
31. Jogurt v Garland, FF1 - Trick Shooting III/IIIII I
32. Oscar the Grouch v Mat Cauthon - WWF Wrestling II/IIII
Pool E
Match 33
The crime: Murder. The defendant: wacky, but probably innocent. Their only hope, a barely qualified judge, and a lawyer who may, or may not, know the law. Their opponent: a possibly competant murderer, and a competant prosecutor.
Our attournies? Our first attourney has only two things known about him. First, that he's highly skilled at doing the absurdly impossible. Second, that he wants to be the Guy. The Kid continues with his gauntlet of videogame inspired deathtraps by taking to the court, and he may find that this is refreshingly easy, and boobytrapped witnesses like Moe are rare, and only a few contradictions are instant death if he presents the wrong piece of evidence. Of course, without the constant threat of death looming over his shoulder, will his guard drop too much?
Especially against his opponent, the legendary trickster Sun Wukong, also known as Sun Goku, or the Monkey King, who hails from the Chinese epic of the Journey West. This primate is both like and unlike his foe in that they're both known for being cunning, with Sun Wukong being a master of mischief, but unlike the Kid, Sun Wukong is immortal, having grabbed food from the table of the Gods themselves.
And so, which one of these tenacious types will prove better in their legal battle?
Match 34
Nascar, the tense sport of getting in a car exactly like everyone elses, and then spending the next hour or so making a left turn.
The descriptions will also be short, as I don't know Flynn Scifo outside of him being a Tales of Vesperia guy, which I suspect doesn't lend him well to racing.
His opponent, Chris Lightfellow, is better known as an Ice Maiden, which will oddly help her given that it says she's cool under pressure. Also, she has a racing minigame so she probably has some practise.
Match 35
Last time, in treasure hunting, we had people who went out and did the treasure hunting themselves. This time, we have people who might have, at some previous point in their lives done such things, but have now moved on to the point where they're far more likely to simply employ treasure hunters to do it for them.
Our first contender has access to the finest of adventurers, giving him first rate treasure hunting grunts. And as Elminster lives in the Forgotten Realms, you just know there's plenty of loot just waiting to be found by the adventurers he's got access to. Of course, being an epic level wizard in that setting means mobilizing these adventurers is bound to grab someone's attention, and they're bound to interfere on the general principle of 'Fuck Elminster'.
On the other hand, Dycedarg Beoulve will have a completely different problem. He's also got a position of authority in a world with plenty of loot kicking around. However, his lackies are mostly army grunts, which are about the last people to be good at this kind of thing. That said, his half-brother Ramza, is not only adept at personally getting top-notch loot in the form of mystic artifacts and surviving the Deep Dungeon, but he's also good at sending out his lackies to get yet more treasure. The tricky bit will be getting the kid to share with him. Of course, taking advantage of a naive kid like Ramza shouldn't be impossible for a crafty operator like Dycedarg, right?
Match 36
This time on the Fighting Game Tournament we have actual fitting contestants. Well, fine, they're both fighters if not both gamers. They're also both folks I know squat about aside from the fact that they should hit DL sensibilities.
So, we've got the Iron Tager from Blazblue, and Toph Bei Wong, an elemental bender from Avatar.
Match 37
There's few things more depressing than being Charlie Brown. I mean, the only time anything goes right for the guy is when life's setting him up to have an even more embarrassing fall. Of course, Charlie Brown isn't in this match, as the goal is to try and be Charlie Brown, living his life as he would.
Which should come very naturally to Wile E Coyote. Despite that fact that Charlie Brown isn't a genius, you just know that if the Roadrunner had ever held a football to be kicked just at the edge of a canyon, Wile E Coyote'd be there to try and kick the thing without fail, and with equally predictable results.
On the other hand, Balthier's only qualification for being Charlie Brown is that he is the leading man. Of course, despite being the opposite of Charlie Brown in every way, he does have one thing that his opponent lacks. A knack for succeeding. Of course, will talent be enough to beat Charlie Brown in a fur coat?
Match 38
Welcome to Iron Chef, where we all know the score. One hour, one theme ingredient, whoever does the best job wins.
And again, two contestants who I don't really know. One of whom is The Dude, of the Big Lebowski. And the other is taking down your DLz, and laughin at your pain. Give it up for... Smug Bitch!
Match 39
This fight will just be pathetic. Not really because the contestants are bad at the task in hand, but more because it's hard not to be pathetic while having a slapfight. The loser is the person who is first to either lose consciousness, or lose all of their dignity.
We start with someone I don't know, and after the last time, I'm not even going to try and figure out what a Team Fortress guy is capable of. But, we've got the Spy on deck.
Against him is someone who might actually pull off a slapfight without looking pathetic, Yuri Voltes Hyuga, of Shadow Hearts fame. I could say some more stuff about him, but you all know the guy, and I'll save the cool stuff for when he's in a catagory that merits it.
Match 40
What higher aspiration can there be than writing a novel? Well... if guys like these can do it, then the answer has to be plenty. Unfortunately, the name of this game is which one of these guys can not only write a novel, but also do so with the least disgracing of the English language.
It's an eternal question about to be answered. Can pokemon write in a language besides the one they speak. If not, then this battle may be a gimme. Or... it may still be close, but honestly, how many people can fail to beat a book filled with nothing but variations of Magikarp?
They say that history is written by the victors, but that's only because the losers have a nasty tendancy of dying. But Brave, Brave Sir Robin has the solution to that. After all, you can't die if you run away first. The trick is learning to write while you run. The other trick is that he'll have to do it himself, as his minstrel was recently eaten, to much rejoicing.
Quick Vote Form
33. The Kid, Wants to be The Guy v Sun Wukong - Defend a Phoenix Wright Defendant
34. Flynn Scifo, ToV v Chris Lightfellow - Nascar Racing
35. Dycedarg Beoulve v Elminster Aumar - Treasure Hunting
36. Iron Tager, Blazblue v Toph Bei Wong - Fighting Game Tournament
37. Wile E Coyote v Balthier - Being Charlie Brown
38. The Dude v Smug Bitch - Iron Chef
39. Team Fortress 2 Spy v Yuri Voltes Hyuga - Slapfight
40. Magikarp v Brave, Brave Sir Robin - Write a Novel
