Results
81. Sun Wukong v Chris Lightfellow - Stalking IIIII I/
82. Dycedarg Beoulve v Iron Tager - Pillaging IIIII II/
83. Wile E Coyote v The Dude - Sell Full Set of the Encyclopedia Britannica IIT/II
84. Yuri Hyuga v Brave, Brave Sir Robin - Musical Chairs IIIII II/I
85. Boy, SoE v Dahlia Hawthorne - Mountain Climbing IIII/I
86. Terra Branford v Clive Winchester - Dungeons and Dragons /IIIII II
87. Bob, Guardian v Gary Coleman - Journeying to the Centre of the Planet IIIII I/
88. GLaDOS v Kefka Palazzo - Artillery Duel /IIIII II
Pool GH
Match 89
I'm sure you've all seen the epic scene from Ben Hur, the one which has been repeated countless times. Namely, the chariot race. There's nothing quite like the thrill of the horse teams striving, the racers urging their team to run faster while they also try and take out their competition.
The Six Dutchies is more of a British type of fantasy kingdom instead of a Greco/Roman one, which means that while they've got horses and soldiers, they're more into cavalry than chariots. Of course, Burrich, being awesome at raising and training horses, and being a former soldier as well as a bit of a brutal man himself, will prove to be a more than formidable opponent regardless. After all, he may not have seen a chariot or raced one before, but he's done enough similar stuff that he should be able to transfer the skills easily enough.
His opponent is stuck in a bit of a bind. After all, R2-D2 may have managed to win a spelling bee with no words, but can he win a chariot race with no hands? On the up side, he's made for piloting, and he's at least from a galaxy where Pod Racing exists, which is pretty much chariot racing in all but name and genre. Of course, the astromech's only real way of controlling horses is likely by remote electroprobe, which should make for a decent cattle prod.
Match 90
Sometimes, in order to win in the Tournament of Randomness, dignity has to take one for the team. This time, dignity is going to have to fight a losing battle against the most ridiculous outfits that can be found or made.
Our first contestant you may think has had no experience with silly costumes, as it is the noble Chocobo. However, that would be forgetting the Chocobo's Mystery Dungeon series, where the famed bird has a job system of its own. And I'm sure at least one of them comes complete with the silly costumes all those human job classers have to put up with.
Of course, against this is Belcoot who, while being a boring sort of guy who would never naturally wear anything silly, also hangs out with Lymsleia and Miakis. And those two would be more than willing to not only make him wear something silly, but also are unlikely to take no for an answer.
Match 91
Right up there with watching paint dry, and growing grass we've got the staring contest. This match will involve two people staring at each other until one of them blinks. Granted, so long as they don't do anything to provoke a flinch response, they can talk to each other and play other mind games.
Jack Frost may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but he is a mythical being. I mean, who knows if those even have to blink? Of course, Antenora is highly trained, and is also a suicidal obsessive. And you'd be surprised at the sort of crazy stuff you can pull off if you a) care about stuff way more than is healthy, and b) don't include your health and well being in the list of stuff you care about.
Match 92
No one had paid it much attention at first. But soon enough a rogue disease, or a viral curse, has spread across the land, causing the dead to rise and swarm, and for those bitten by them to die, only for their own tormented bodies to rise again, to join in the endless hunger. And in the centre of this, two figures, each trying to get out alive. And this time, they're both kind of douches, which doesn't speak well of the odds.
We start with the ultimate magnificent bastard, Jareth, King of all Goblins. With his charming ways, and magic dance, he'll be suave enough to manage to sneak his way past a lot of obsticles. And his hideout is a castle straight out of MC Esher's fever dreams, I mean, Zombies will never be able to figure that sucker out. Of course, they also don't have enough brains to be driven to gibbering madnes by it either, and if there's one thing zombies are good at, it's plugging away at something with trial and error until something works. And also, having a large army of goblins? Kinda a negative in this case.
Against this is Odin, who's head of the Gods and representative of the Power-Hungry Douche brigade. He's got a ton of power, and doesn't mind using it. And, he tends to go for fewer, but more elite soldiers. Also, those soldiers, either gods, or already dead. And most of those consider zombie killing to be pretty dang fun too. So, they may be immune. Of course, if they're not. Well... Jareth only has normal zombies to deal with. Odin will have God Zombies looking to snack on his divine brains.
Match 93
The translation process is a tricky thing. After all, there's a lot of nuance in language, and it's hard to keep the meaning of something alive when the terminology is ever so rarely the same. There's a reason that anime companies spend a decent amount to get people who've spent years learning the other language, and grew up in the other, or better yet, grew up in both, and those people then spend a decent amount of time doing the translation. This event is not about their results. This event is about the people who've taken a couple of courses and think that's told them all they need to know. And who think they know the culture because they read the Wikipedia article on Otaku and think they've found their spiritual home. We're looking for who will best translate in that fine old Zero Wing tradition of awesomeness through sheer mind warping horror at what's been done to the poor languages.
Darth Vader is known for his deadly efficiency, and doing what must be done to get the job done. But when he's up against genki girl, Excellen Browning, can even the Force save him? After all, her questionable sense of humour is pretty spot on to what most of these basement translators are packing, even if it is better quality.
Match 94
One man can only do so much. To change a nation, you need an army. And to get an army, sometimes you need to raise one yourself.
Sadly, Kornell, while being the kind of guy your average foot soldier would love, is also a grunt. And has a grunt's mindset. And Sahz, well he's clearly officer material given that whole free thought and able to back talk folks, but he also seems to fall short in the whole actually getting people to listen to him. Especially with that whole passive aggressive snarking thing he has going on.
Match 95
Sometimes, you can do everything you can, and it simply won't be enough. Sometimes, you can make every reasonable effort, and even push a little beyond that, and still you'll only lose. And no one will fault you for it. After all, what can a single man do, when the universe itself aligns against him. But heros and villains alike, those who are known as being more than a mere man, they find something deep inside. And where failure should be the only option, they find a way to win.
Guan Ping is going to have his work cut out for him. After all, his father, the esteemed Guan Yu, excelled at just this type of thing, his exploits still being remembered as legend. Of course, Guan Ping comes from the end of the Three Kingdoms age, where mythical warriors give way to merely mortal ones. Can he grab onto the legacy of his fathers, and find it within himself to defy the odds long enough to grab this win?
Heck, looking at his competition, it's obvious that winning this competition would be enough to qualify in and of itself. After all, he's up against Ike of the Greil Mercenaries. The man whose coming of age involved him rallying an empire and leading three nations to war against an unjust aggressor, snatching victory from the jaws of defeat. And all of that was simply a prelude for his surviving the end of the world, just to backtalk one goddess before becoming her champion in order to defeat the chosen of Ashera as a warmup before beating up Ashera herself using nothing more than sheer bloody minded determination.
Match 96
The tug of war is a traditional sport where folks get a team together and pull on a rope until one side or the other falls into a mud pit in the centre. The interesting thing, as always, is the teams involved.
Taloon Toreneko may not be much himself, but like any merchant, he's got connections to spare. Being able to call upon the Zenithian heros to aid him and create quite the team will be a fair bit of a boon here. Especially since there's a decent number of them, and most of them have more muscle than he does.
Against this is M Bison, who is individually very strong, and well, he doesn't really hang out with any weaklings. The trouble is, being your generic villainous sort, there's only so many people willing to team up with him. So he'll likely have worse numbers, but if there's one thing any card carrying villain is willing to do, it's to show that quality is far greater than quantity.
Quick Vote Form
89. Burrich, Farseer Trilogy v R2-D2 - Chariot Racing
90. Chocobo v Belcoot - Wearing Ridiculous Outfits
91. Jack Frost v Antenora - Staring Contest
92. Jareth, King of the Goblins v Odin - Survive a Zombie Apocalypse
93. Darth Vader v Excellen Browning - Fansubbing Anime (For Awesomeness)
94. Sazh v Kornell - Raising an Army
95. Ike v Guan Ping - Doing the Impossible
96. Taloon v M Bison - Tug of War
