Bayonetta: The game that answers questions like "How are you alive in a vacuum?" with "Motorcycle."
Finished. This was the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen. Normally the over-the-top approach doesn't really reach me, but I can't help but admire the effort these guys put into being absurd. Seriously, I'm still laughing about some of the crazy shit that went down near the end of this game. I mean, there are plenty of games that culminate in the player killing a god. This is the only one I can think of where you punt God into the sun. And have to steer her around planets en route.
Jeanne fights I think were the highlight, even though the last one was infuriating. "Hi, I have four health bars and can hit you from anywhere on the map with missiles that have a narrow counter window you have to make four times and barely damage me even if you succeed. Also here have an instant death quick-time event. Or two." Jeanne why is your crotch glowing purple. You might want to ask a doctor about that.
Miscellaneous stuff:
-QTEs continue to be lame. I mean, for once I kind of understand why they're there--the developer wants to do something cinematic that wouldn't work in regular gameplay, but they don't want you just sitting there watching, right? I can tell that's how these guys were operating just because, well, see above spoiler text, Set the Controls for the Heart of the Sun, etc. But in practice they're usually just an annoyance that throws me off.
-The novelty stages didn't really work. I appreciate that they want to break things up, but man, And Then Bayonetta was a Shmup isn't really the solution. Wouldn't have been such a bother if enemy projectiles weren't so easily obscured by enemy death explosions.
-Wasn't a regular occurrence, but the camera could be monstrously uncooperative at times. I died pretty quickly first attempt against the final boss just because I couldn't tell what the fuck was happening.
-I don't even know what to say about the fanserviceness of it all. It'd be easy to handwave it all as part of the general absurdity of the production, but when there are so many ass shots that even the Cid can only roll his eyes, well.
-I continue to fail miserably at this kind of gameplay. I mean, it's fun and all, but wow, I only got something other than the worst ranking on two chapters. Bronze on the giant sea rhino thing, gold on the penultimate boss--which was probably the only chapter where I had no deaths.
-Related to that latter note, apparently getting hit by a building doesn't hurt very much.
-Enemy design was pretty great. The gold and white angel theme is just a rather striking and unique look for videogame enemies. Then again, not may other games are built around deliberate angel genocide.
So yeah. There were some problems, but nothing more than the sort I encounter in damn near every 3D action game. It was fun, anyway.
