Records of the Pale Rider, Death, labelled for some strange reason Darksiders The Second
"Where to begin my tale. Perhaps from the beginning. My brother, War, was falsely accused of doing something that...ok, he did it, but I know it's not his fault because the Council can't be trusted. I shall free my brother's name from the issue. I must question why my other brothers, Famine and Plague, do not aid me on thi...wait, you mean their names are Strife and Fury? Since when? Are you saying I've been calling them the wrong name all this time?
...alas, that is unimportnat. What is important is that the journey here is BLASPHEMOUSLY FREEZING. You'd think a cold hearted warrior who knows nothing but killing wouldn't mind this but you'd be wrong. Thankfully, I have my trusty stead, Despair, with me, so I can move fast...and this annoying Crow who won't leave me alone that I named Dust. Why Dust? Because he's only slightly more useful than that...I wonder why I keep him alive? I guess he finds something on occasion...either way, those two are my only partners.
On my way, I must use my Ninja powers to traverse this frozen landscape, and my scythes to cleave the skulls of various monstrosities. For those questioning why I have NInja powers, all I'll say in return is how many Horsemen of the Apocalypse have you actually met? Yeah, I thought so. Near the end of my journey's in this frozen wasteland to find the prophet...by the way, I'm looking for a prophet who would have the answer...I am attacked by an Ice Giant. It came out of nowhere and I swear it was put there on some sort of contractual obligation to make my life harder...which is irony given my name...
Upon meeting the prophet whose name eludes me... because I forgot it since he ended up inconsequential, he tries to play games with me. Naturally, I threaten him to tell me the truth. His response is hurling War, my brother, at me. Does he think me a moron? It is clearly just a shadow pretending to be in the same form of my brother. I see to it that the imposter falls, and then crush the amulet that he says is a bad thing...you know I can't even remember what that did. Nonetheless, I set off for the Tree of Life, since apparently that can restore humanity, which would lead to clearing War's name!
It is here that I meet the Makers in the Forge Valley. The elder, Eidaar, greets me and tells me about corruption. Thane teaches me a few skills, and I soon learn I am not at full strength. I question how I lost abilities...perhaps I have come down with a cold...not even sure if that is possible for a former Nephilim-now-servant-of-balance-and-order like myself. I also meet Ayla and her partner, who tell me about their current poor state of a forge being a mere replacement of the real thing, and they could up productivity immensely if I repair it. While I care not, I have a sneaking feeling repairing this will be necessary along the awy...and sure enough, my first mission is to repair the cauldron that powers it.
Another one who makes Amulets tasks me with finding 3 rare items, telling me that some knave named Karn can tell me the location of them. I hate that knave already, little do I know that my hatred for him will only increase over time. So I set off for the Cauldron, and find Karn along the way. He is an idiot, there is not much more to it than that, though he does somehow have useful information, but then he tells me he lost a rare item...a dinner plate. With all the problems going on in this forge, he asks me to find him a dinner plate. I'd kill him now, but I'd rather not make enemies out of all the other Makers, they are no slouches.
After throwing a lot of bombs around in the cauldron itself and pushing big balls into large indentations, I am successful in relighting the flames and thus, Ayla has her forge back. In exchange for this, I am handed a Strife's Gun...wait, how did that get here? Are you to tell me Strife is already here, and has failed in the mission? Somehow, there are no answers at all...not even an ominous silence...then again, it is hard for me to care about Strife seeing as I didn't even know his name until I started this log! My next mission is at the Drench Fort, where they tell me while the fire is lit, the water wheel needs turning. At least Thane has helped me reclaim my Reaper powers.
...these Makers are not very good at their job, and worse, that pup Karn won't leave me alone! I meet a Golem, one that is not corrupted...by the way, I am slaughtering lots of corrupt creatures along the way, just thought you'd know. This Golem requests that I feed him rocks...maybe I'll humor the damn thing...maybe...
After a series of annoying shooting explosive rocks, swimming (an activity I despise), ninja antics on walls, and fighting a large monster that keeps spawning children that i need to use as a weapon against the mother...oh come on, my name is Death, morality never entered into why I do things. Why am I trying to help War? Because he's my brother, that's all there is too it! I respect a man who can jump into a battlefield and kill various angels, demons, and other monstrosities!
Karn has also lost yet another object, this time some form of armor. To credit him for once, it is an object I can see placing value in for these times, but then, I question how one loses a helmet so easily? Perhaps I should not put any thought into Karn's actions in the future.
Ayla, thankful of my task, offers me a gift: A key to work other golems. I learn now of Wardens, large Golems that are autonomous and capable of aiding. Apparently there is but one left that is not corrupted, and he knows of the Guardian, which is the largest and most powerful of the Wardens, capable of destroying the Corruption that leads to the Tree of Life. Why do I not just go to the Guardian first? Because we need the Warden to reach the Foundry, alas I must travel to the Lost Temple, on the opposite side of the Valley, to finally get it. Karn, yet again, stands near me as useless as ever, and yet again, has lost an object in the temple...this time a compass. I use everything in my will power to restrain killing him on the spot.
Piloting lesser golems whom are not well designed, running across chains, and killing corrupted golems, I finally reach the Warden. He brings me back to the Forge, where the FOundry is, and rebuilds the bridge, but not after warning me it's dangerous for Flesh and Stone! Good thing I am neither...yet despite this, the imbecile himself has arrived anyway. He has not lost anything this time, but is now actively trying to help me in the Foundry itself. Words cannot express my anger...no really, they cannot, since I am not even sure I am capable of feeling that emotion.
The Foundry itself would be far less annoying if I did not need to rely on Karn so much. In fact, there are times I have called his name to do a task I need of him, like holding a door open, or tossing me up to a ledge, but he's busy staring at a butterfly. Even something as easy as holding a Heart Stone of which to power the Guardian we found here cannot be done. Still, somehow, we manage though the last Heart Stone was corrupted and involved me killing one of the Golems I had to pilot. I convince him to place the corrupted Heart Stone into the Guardian, thinking the other two pure stones would heal it.
...I am wrong. No one ever said we riders were perfect, after all. I am forced to go aid Eidaar in the fight with the Guardian, and with the help of my trust Despair, we take down the Guardian. Size is indeed not everything. Eidaar then brings the Guardian back to life, now free of corruption, at the cost of his own life. I should care not, but I do mourn his death for some reason. The Guardian does his task in taking down the corruption that blocks the path to the tree of life, and so I head down that way.
Upon reaching the tree, I am pulled it...when did this tree become sentient!? Within it, I meet a familiar figure...a former Nephilim named Absolam, who wishes me dead for betraying the other Nephilim when me and my brothers became the Riders. He understands not that Eden was the realm for Humans, and the Nephilim, being spawns of Demons and Angels, have no right for such a place. He tells me he is the corruption, and now I can see who my true enemy is...
...but not before I enter the realm of the dead. Strange that I've never been here given...I'm not even going into details on this, those reading this know very well what I mean! I meet an old Goatman Merchant here, named Ostagoh I believe? He tells me that the Tree of Life merely sent me here and I must fulfill a task in order to save War. you know what? I'm done, this log is over for now, and I'm going off to take a nap. The Apocalypse can wait to be resolved!
-Signed
Death, the Pale Rider.
Perhaps I should mention that Vulgrim, the demon Merchant, is following me around and handing me objects based on what I pay him. I suppose I can let him live in that instance..."
For those who actually read this entire thing:
Yeah, doing Darksider 2 updates in this style. Later updates will be shorter (and probably more depth than general like this), because I covered an entire 4th of the game or so here, and this is not a short game. Wanted to do typical Abridged style, but Death's off on his own too much for this to work (contrast to, say, War, who has the Watcher with him at all times.)