Good Morning, 2014! #firstworldproblems edition

[Fenrir]

Anyway...
I need advice.
Think like this is a Fallout choice.

I'm getting tired of my roomate. He's generally a good and nice guy but we really have nothing in common (we both bore each other really) and he doesn't do his shores to the point where I don't ever feel like inviting anyone home. In fact, I haven't done so in three months.

I see all these great roommating opportunities around me and want to go something else.


Do I:
- Tell the truth and start looking for something else
- Lie about needing a real apartment (the thing we have is not strictly legal. But nobody really cares) and start looking for something else. Maybe less hard feelings.
- Search for a new apartment in secret and only tell him about it when it's 100% locked in stone. Ok, writing this now, this sounds like a total douche move. But it's the easiest!! Maybe there are some good and moral reasons to go for this one. That would be great.
- Not do anything, the grass is always greener, etc.

[Dark Holy Elf]

I'm assuming your "strictly not legal" setup is something you're actually fine with. In that case your second proposed option probably isn't a great idea because if you do that, you won't be able to find any other "strictly not legal" places without him seeing through your lie and being far more hurt. (No idea how common these setups are; this may be an irrelevant concern.)

My inclination here (and I'm aware this is much easier for me to say as the person who doesn't have to bring up the subject with your roommate) is just to be honest. It doesn't make much sense for you to stay somewhere where you're unhappy and it's obviously affecting your social life. And "you don't leave your chores so the place is always a mess, I prefer to live some place clean, it's nothing personal but I think this makes us a bad fit" is something that I don't think he'd be likely to take too badly. (I'd stay away from the part about him being boring though.)

Have you talked at all before about him cleaning up more? (It's not he may not be aware this is a problem.)

[Cotigo]

1. Don't do number 3. This makes you an asshole. Don't be an asshole (to people you see face to face).

2. I don't actually understand what the big deal is. Renters move out, like, all the time. It's not like you're quitting your job, either. You don't actually HAVE to give a reason if you don't want to (but do give notice because seriously don't be a dickhole). If you just said "yeah this isn't working, I need to get out, just a heads up" that could be that. If he wants a reason well then you can talk about the cleanliness issue but seriously it shouldn't be an issue.

3. If you REALLY need to give a reason, and you REALLY don't want to tell the truth, just say you need to move closer to work/closer to school/a better location to find a new job/etc. Hell, if you know someone you want to live with, just say you're gonna move in with X because they need a roommate.

Just take a breath, realize this isn't actually the confrontation you're building it up to be in your mind, and start lookin' for a new place.

PS. Don't be a douchebag.

[superaielman]

Agree with Zenny/Elf. Be honest but nice about it.

[Grefter]

"I just want to try something" is a perfectly valid reason to do anything.  Like following a strange man through a portal into an unknown prison dimension that is designed to keep a godlike being trapped.  Then following them in to literal hell and back just because it sounds interesting.

What I am saying is that you are a succubus.

Jokes aside, be honest or have a soft obfuscation.  Sounds like you just want to try something else.  That is as good a reason as any.

Edit - Fuck I realised you described it as a Fallout choice hours after the fact.   My joke should have been to either plant lit dynamite in his inventory or force feed enough drugs to him that he dies 10 minutes later then no one will know it was you.

[Fenrir]

I'm assuming your "strictly not legal" setup is something you're actually fine with. In that case your second proposed option probably isn't a great idea because if you do that, you won't be able to find any other "strictly not legal" places without him seeing through your lie and being far more hurt. (No idea how common these setups are; this may be an irrelevant concern.)

Nah I do want something fully legal this time.
I'm not on the lease agreement so I don't have to pay a housing tax. But the landlord has to know about this for this to be legal, and he doesn't.
He probably doesn't care, but he could kick me out anytime for this (and I wouldn't care at all)

Have you talked at all before about him cleaning up more? (It's not he may not be aware this is a problem.)

Yes. But he has no willpower. That's his biggest weakness. He's not going to do something for himself, let alone others. His room is The Room Of Death and he still has invited girls there. He might be motivated for like one hour then never again for a month.

The problem is that he has become nicer and nicer BUT I still want out.
Guilt.
Basically he's the only guy I know who doesn't hurt others (much) and that I have still started to judge unfavorably. And I hate everything about this.

My joke should have been to either plant lit dynamite in his inventory or force feed enough drugs to him that he dies 10 minutes later then no one will know it was you.

I don't have any dynamite in my inventory and can't pass the science check

Everything else: Okay. Yes. Makes sense.
I don't really see myself not giving any reason though, we've been living together for 7 months already.

[Idun]

done this before, depends on the personality. if they're vindictive, search for an apt in secret and just leave, it's not like you need him for referrals but do give time to inform him of "i have this great opportunity I'm going to try out."

if the person is cool, you just want something more fulfilling, then yeah, what zenny said. if someone's gonna hate that you want to be self-sufficient or are looking for new experiences, then they're gunna hate. if you're helping him out tons financially, be a good human being and let them know beforehand.

that said, I'm going to bounce from the dl, no not delete the acct. but i'm not playing games right now and i need to focus on my prospectus writing, because, yeah, due september. so I'm on skype as jewjewls, but my extent here will be peepin' and creepin'. good spring/summer, and OMG ill totally creep on dlcon pics. its safe to say that if we dont talk this doesnt matter, but if we do heads up.

[Luther Lansfeld]

Good luck, Idun!

[Grefter]

Good luck and send me music you find that is interesting.  I haven't been doing enough investigative listening lately (even with follow metroid's topic).

[Shale]

Good luck!

[Lady Door]

Did you know Monday -- Easter -- is a national holiday in Germany?

Apparently my office didn't. Also apparently my office didn't see the need to coordinate the 40 hours I'm going to spend there with the team I'm supposed to spend it with.

This'll be a fun trip.

[Clear Tranquil]

Oh my god a man asked me if I had a boyfriend today and told me I was beautiful. The Big Issue seller.

I am an idiot. As you can imagine I was quite flustered at the time, he said he stayed in *insert place name* here and I said said that's where my mum stayed in small talk, then he asked if I had a boyfriend and I said no not at the moment, then he said I was beautiful and I said thank you politely and sort of stumbled my way around this conversation by saying I'd had a few relationships but was just relaxing, taking a break, seeing how life went. I probably didn't make any sense.

This is a guy I am familiar with at least face wise and in a be CT nice and polite/etc to way. I buy the Big Issue off him, am a regular customer in that sense (I'm usually with another person). I just ... want to be nice to/help people. Stuff happens.

That said it is always a rush to be called beautiful (even if not true, my hair hadn't been washed today) >_> <_< >_> <_<

This was also my second encounter with the guy today since earlier he crossed the road to sell me his last Big Issue. Then later is when I saw him at the bus stop and the conversation happened.

[Fenrir]

Oh I didn't notice your post Idun!
Anyway I told him and it went along well, no need to justifiy it, etc. He seemed sad for a while though.
I felt like i was breaking up.

[metroid composite]

That said it is always a rush to be called beautiful

I know what you mean.  At GDC, someone couldn't remember my name, and referred to me as "the tall pretty one" and I was like "huh? what? me?  Someone actually thinks I'm pretty?"

[Lady Door]

Business trip went pretty well. Vacation also went pretty well. Returning to work has not been quite as sunny.

At least I'm looking forward to going to E3 on the company dime in a few weeks. That'll be a nice "break" from the 10-15 hour days and frequent Saturday/Sunday hours. Except for the part where I'll have to schedule all my meetings around needing to check in with the office every hour or two.

Please, universe, send me a really good hire so I can look at other jobs? Pretty please?

[DjinnAndTonic]

Walking around today, there are too many game stores readily available to me, I could easily spend a lot of money on games I have already played...

In particular are the PSP releases if the N1 games. La pucelle and Makai Kingdom never got released in English so it'd be neat to try those out. There's also a few random JRPGs that looked cool. Garnet Chronicle and Errant Knight Story. A new Digimon RPG that doesn't look like crap sounds fun after all the Pokemon games I finished lately. The big I want is the PSP Suikoden game though. All PSP games though and I never use that thing so I didn't bring it with me.

The 3DS doesn't offer as much temptation. Most of its RPGs are available in English. Youkai Watch looks awesome though. Seriously digging how much Level 5 is embracing its Pokemon theft. Ace Attorney 5 also exists but like hell am I gonna play a text adventure in Japanese...

But since I am a boring adult, I bought a couch instead.

[Luther Lansfeld]

The long, endlessly frustrating Masters degree is finally over. I defended my thesis today and passed. 1 hour and 40 minutes of being grilled~

[Lady Door]

Congratulations! That's amazing news.

What's left before you're free?

[Grefter]

World domination.

[Cmdr_King]

The previous post does not have a "Baby!" in it.  I am disappoint.  So disappoint.

[superaielman]

Congratulations! That's amazing news.

What's left before you're free?

[Luther Lansfeld]

I have to make minor revisions to the thesis, make sure it is by the guidelines in terms of page margins and all that, and I need to apply to graduate. Hopefully will get my letter of completion in the next month so I can apply for a Canadian work visa.

Defense itself was pretty good. Had some trouble with the analytical chemistry part of the defense because there was a bit of a communication disconnect, but the oceanography went well. There was even a part where he asked me a question, I answered, and he was about to follow up with a criticism of something in my work and I guessed what the criticism was. :p I actually ended up getting an A on the defense, whatever that even means. Apparently some job apps differentiate between 'pass' and what your score was, so woot.

In the interim I am going to mostly sit on my ass and do things I enjoy. Can't reasonably work right now since my student visa runs out in a couple months and I don't have a work visa.

[Clear Tranquil]

Congratulations Ciatos~

[NotMiki]

Congrats!

[Clear Tranquil]

Got nominated for an award thingy, going to be a ceremony thingy~