Tales of Xillia 2: ...you know, I'm overdue for one of these and this game feels appropriate for it so...
MORE MEEPLE RPG ABRIDGED!!! And yes, you may get whatever items necessary to murder me on the spot.
Narrator: When we last left our hero...
Jude: Uh...last left? We never even started!
Narrator: Ok, FINE! Context. Ludger is some kid whose brother is this awesome soldier guy named Julius. He failed an exam, is now a chef, got on a train to his first job that happened to get him stuck with this girl and the main character of the previous game...
Jude: ...I have a name...
Narrator: Ok, geez, Jude. Said train had stuff happen, people died, Ludger got into a huge medical debt of 20 million...no seriously...and now he's a wanted man with the only way to clear his name is to find his brother. There, HAPPY!?
Elle: Can you repeat that?
Ludger: No.
Jude: So we can go to Helioborg or...
Ludger: Helioborg.
Jude: Wait, you didn't even listen to the second option, don't you think it's best we weigh our options?
Ludger: No.
Jude: Well, I guess since you're the main character, I have to follow you, right?
Ludger: Yes.
Elle: But how can we get there!?
Ludger: Train.
Elle: But you have to pay off your debt to get to that spot later!
Jude: Well, in my last adventure, we did actually hike literally from Trigleph, which is where we are now, to Helioborg, so we could just do that. It's not that long and probably take less time than it takes to pay off the next benchma-...
Ludger: Train.
Jude: ...ok, fine, we'll take the train.
*Ludger gets 7000 Gald*
Nova: Hiyo! Just here as your friendly neighborhood PAY UP NOW OR WE WILL HUNT YOU DOWN ^_^.
Ludger: *sigh, pays up*
Nova: That's some awesome BMs you got there! BM by the way stands for Bank Maximum...because you know...it's totally an in thing we say...even though I made it up...GOOD LUCK WITH PAYING OFF YOUR IMPOSSIBLY LARGE DEBT ^_^!
Ludger: Grrr...
Elle: Being a loneshark is mean, why would people do that!?
Jude: Because...you see...there's thing called money and...
Ludger: No.
Jude: Huh?
Ludger: No.
Jude: Ok, saves me an explanation.
Elle: But I want to know now
Ludger: Hate.
*one Helioborg trip later*
Ludger: Here.
Jude: So what's going on here?
Red Headed Guy: YOU CAN'T COME HERE! AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY! THAT MEANS ONLY DOCTORS AND SUCH!
Jude: ...but I am a Doctor...I WORK here even sometimes...heck, I'm the lead researcher on the stuff that goes here!
Red Headed Guy: Bah, that's Jude Matthis' job and you're totally not him! I mean, sure you look exactly like him and have his voice and are claim-...oh...
Jude: Yes, now, can you explain to me what's going on?
RHG: Yeah, see, Exodus happened, people from Rieze Maxia who were here on a good will trip being shown around by Balan were stuck in there...and so is he...
Jude: And great, we have business with Balan!
TOTALLY NOT A BLATANTLY FAMILIAR VOICE: I'll take it from here!
Jude: Alvin! What are you doing here?
Alvin: ...good question, and since I don't have a good answer...my cousin works here so family business?
Jude: ...whose paying you?
Alvin: Sharp as ever I see!
Elle: Is he your friend, Jude?
Alvin: Tough to say; I use to work for Exodus, do you really think you can trust me!?
Ludger: Yes.
Alvin: ...yeah, you're totally Jude's friend.
Jude: And much as you won't admit it, you're mine.
Elle: He's a bad ugly man!
Ludger: Ignore her.
Alvin: Way ahead of you!
*Alvin joins the team!*
Will the team of 3 dudes and annoying brat get to the bottom of this!? Will Ludger pay off his debt to an annoying Not!Mafia? Will Jude ever notice he's wearing a plushie of himself on his shoulder? Will Elle ever say anything meaningful? And will Ludger's cat ever get acknowledged in this parody!? TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR...
TALES OF ENCOUNT!!!!