What Games are you playing 2015?

[Grefter]

Yeah I am sure he deserved it for standing within 5 meters of you while you spun around wildly as soon as you clicked throw on your molly.

[Sierra]

Been working on Disgaea 5 some. Got up to chapter four or so and then things started slowing down because I began to have too many people in my army to keep up to scratch (I tend to like keeping a representative of most generic classes around in these games, or at least from the cute classes). I should proooobably be trying to get more mileage out of the send inactive dudes to explore other netherworlds and coincidentally gain levels while you're fighting feature. Haven't used it much yet, don't know how efficient it is, but some experience is presumably better than the no experience they'd get just sitting on the bench.

Plot is basically more Disgaea. It's the sort of nonsense it turns out I was actually in the mood for but I doubt it's going to sell anybody on the series who doesn't already like it. Killia so far seems like a less charismatic reflection of Dis4's protagonist (who was probably the series' best). This is basically fine because he works well as a straight man to Seraphina's whole Etna with cleavage and fufufu thing. Red Magnus was pretty annoying at first but is basically super white noise by this point. Christo is so painfully obviously a demoted angel that I can already sense Snowfire's gag reflex kicking in over N1's whole "Heaven and the netherwold are basically morally equivalent entities, right?" thing.

It looks like you don't actually have to reincarnate generics to get to the next tier class in their line? They just sort of autopromote at some point. I don't actually see the mechanics of this communicated clearly anywhere, but it seems to be based on mana accumulation rather than raw level (it would have to be detached from level since you can now hire generics at something like protag level -3 or whatever). You can still reincarnate dudes if you want to grind stats? But the periodic whelp time to grind up all my flunkies from level 1 again because everyone unlocked a new class tier thing that was familiar to like every other Disgaea is apparently no longer necessary. And there's a zombie maid class now because of course there is. They get to use Item as a free action once per turn. This is more helpful than it sounds because free damage and throwing knives nerf enemy speed.

The random name generator has already given me both Rorona and Meruru. I am probably going to name the next generic hire Totori just to get it over with.

Also: "Netherworld effect active: Mushroom Paradise!" Your N1 mind control ray is working, Dune. You can turn it off now.

~

Also bashed through most of Guacamelee when Super was over a couple weekends back. Still need to go back and do the final dungeon, got hung up on re-exloring the world and clearing out all the secrets first. Amazing game, anyway, plays much better with a controller than it did when I tried it on keyboard a couple years ago. Combat is smooth and incredibly fun, throwing dudes into other dudes so that I enjoyed meeting you Cliff and then you push the guy over the cliff is basically the best thing you can do with enemies in a game.

[Anthony Edward Stark]

What kind of rig are you running Vermintide on, Gref?  I've found the minimum system requirements on games to be grossly overblown lately.  The recommended CPU is a 4.7 gHZ quad-core and that seems super-overblown based on the gameplay videos i'm seeing.

[SnowFire]

Christo is so painfully obviously a demoted angel that I can already sense Snowfire's gag reflex kicking in over N1's whole "Heaven and the netherwold are basically morally equivalent entities, right?" thing.

Funny you mention that.  I still need to mention more DS2 & AOW3 recaps, but...

King's Bounty: Dark Side: More of the recent KB games made by Russians who liked the really old 90/91 NWC PC / Genesis game that would lead to the Heroes of Might & Magic series.  Anyway, this game they decided to mix it up and let you play the bad guys, which I will admit actually makes tons of sense for games of this type.  You don't have to explain why there are voracious monsters & evil armies across the lands trying to kill the player, like you do with "good" heroes; how would merchants or trade get by?  No, the world is fine, and it's the equivalent of the National Guard trying to murder you wherever you walk since you are kind of traveling the world intent on spreading evil & overthrowing governments to install nice Dark-friendly replacements.  So a good excuse to be fighting a lot.

Plot: You are the villains!  Ham it up!  Except.  The game's tone kind of can't pick between "dark and light are just two basically equivalent teams having a foodfight", "You are actually evil, but pragmatic evil, e.g. just trying to put yourself in charge" and "You are cosmic evil."  Notably, the 1st really doesn't play well with the 3rd.  For example, sometimes the characters will explicitly call Light side people "evil" and basically portray them as racist jerks who just want to crush the dark side for being different.  Okay, sure, we can have a world where the Light is sometimes evil and the Dark sometimes good.  Except...  if you look at who they're fighting, it's blatantly obvious that their Dark *really are* threats to the life & liberty of innocents, which changes the game a little.  One island has a dispute between a necromancer & a vampire, where the vampire wanted to farm a farming village for blood while the necromancer just killed everyone and made 'em skeletons, so then they fought each other.  A classic beef vs. dairy farming issue, as described by Our Dark Hero.  And now both are oppressed by the King's forces and a fortress he built to stop them from advancing further.  Okay fine, resolve their dispute and help them conquer the throne, but this is because I'm evil, let's not pretend that this is in any way a "good" thing to do!  There's some similar psuedo-feminist things where oh noes, this Paladin is killing all the succubi and has some spell that makes him immune to their charms...  but...  look, incubi / succubi are magic rapists.  Who do this in the plot!  I'm pretty sure that killing them dead to protect others sounds like a great idea.

Anyway, the overarching plot is actually not a bad hook: to build a magical weapon of vengeance, you have to make the 3 happiest women despair, make the 3 most loyal men traitors, and take the 3 purest servants of the Light and make them servants of the Dark.  This is the cosmic evil part: this is some evil shit.  The last 2 are done rather fanatsy-esque which potentially isn't interesting; apparently just drag loyal men to the Demoness (where she seduces them with magic) and pure ones to the Vampire (where he puts the bite on them).  Bang, instant magical betrayal.  Well, it's shocking enough, I guess, even if using magic rather than something more subtle is a little disappointing.  (Some of the ways you can recruit helpers actually ARE pretty neat, like researching a magician's bad luck, undoing the hex on him, and convincing him it was because he was trying to use Light Magic rather than Dark Magic...)  The making the happiest sad part, though...   that's where I quail a bit.  See the solution is to just have the Orc beat the shit out of them.  Every day.  While leading them around with a collar on them.  That's just...  ugh.  I want to be Darth Vader, not a sadistic torturer.  And quite enough women already get beaten for my tastes in the real world, where at least getting turned into a vampire is rarer.  It's even worse in that the Orc justifies it as a "Look, this is really the Light's fault anyway!  They started this!" deal; if he embraced the evil act, then it'd feel like the narrative owned it, at least.  Trying to justify something as horrible as this...  bah.  Kinda turned me off.

Gameplay: I'm playing as the Vampire, the mage class.  (Orc is the Warlord archetype, Demoness is the Anti-Paladin archetype.) The first area, Portland, is actually pretty well balanced.  It might even be too difficult at times; I actually ate a retreat vs. the king in the final battle for the area.  Anyway, in the first area, I think you can get something approaching the intended experience with KB: you're mixing up your army with whatever local options you have available, trying out different approaches, just learning spells and not guaranteed to have the most useful ones, etc.  After this...   it falls off.

Here's the thing.  The game is heavily balanced around you winning most of your battles cleanly, that is, with few-if-any losses.  Gold isn't a big deal (on Normal), but sheer number of recruits and the annoyance of running around to fill up on them is.  In fact, later on, you can credibly clean out entire stocks of troops for sale and not max out on them, which is really lame as far as letting you pick an army comp you like.  Now there IS a non-intuitive way around this to generate infinite stacks (Blood Priestess's Sacrifice ability), which ends up really crucial to use, but the game doesn't call it out, so hope you experimented or checked the Net?  It'd be like if you had to use Vanish-Doom in FF6 to get back MP or something similarly super-crucial.  And it means leaving around crappy enemies is important, so that you can run back to them, stick your valuable Blood Priestess stack in, summon some mooks, sacrifice them and use that to build up the stack you really want.   Lame.

On the summoning note...  winning deathless battles gets progressively harder as the game goes on.  Or it would, if OP summoning didn't exist.  I guess this matters most for the vampire, but engaging in a straight-up brawl is usually a poor idea.  So around near the end of Portland, the strategy becomes "drop a Phoenix in the middle of the enemy lines, laugh when they try to kill it because SURPRIZE it's a Phoenix and it comes back."  Eventually throw in a Black Dragon which is also tanky & fire resistant, and have demons with explosive fire shots rain down on the area, since it's not like the Phoenix / Dragon drawing the aggro are going to take much from it.  Eventually after a single Ancient Phoenix wasn't badass enough, Call of Nature just summons infinite OP doomstacks where you don't care if they take damage because they disappear at the end of the fight anyway.  Your own army barely matters because it's just about summoning hordes to crush your enemies with.  It'd be nice if that spell was max-twice-a-battle or something.

As a side note, you are inexplicably limited in the number of spell scrolls you can carry around, and the number of spells you can transcribe / upgrade is harshly limited.  Not sure this was a great idea, it means you'll be spamming the same 4 spells quite a bit.

Lastly, DOT effects are gruesomely overpowered, especially lategame when stacks get large.  Early on, it's fine, your 1 Black Dragon shrugs off %-based damage.  But that %-based damage gets way nastier with larger stacks, as now your 15 Dragon riders, chipped by some wimpy werewolves into "bleeding", now suffer a casualty.  Noooo.  This encourages you to play EVEN MORE conservatively and ensure that only your piles of summoned stacks do any fighting while everyone else huddles in the backlines.  Meh.

I think I'm done with the game, it's too much of a cakewalk now with the "spam summoning spells" strat but not close enough to being finished.  Alas.  (On Aralan @L50 or so, max level is apparently L80 and there's still 2 demon realms, Bear Butte, & Amazonia to go.)

[Grefter]

Jade Empire - Finished.  The back half of the game is kind of eh.  I did the bind Death's Hand to you and then was frustrated that there was no Open Palm or at least neutral way to really keep him around.

Black Whirlwind and Kang still the two best things about the game.

[Veryslightlymad]

Talisman Digital Edition:

A friend and I occasionally play this, and I play the physical version from time to time. Normally I wouldn't post anything about a board game, but I played against 5 computers last night and some amazing hijinx came up.

Players were Me/Pirate, Prophetess, Druid, Assassin, Ninja, Elf.

Elf gets cursed early on by getting the follower that allows you to move only one space at a time. Elf don't give a shit. Elf slowly trudges to two adjacent spaces that grant random stat-ups and spends many turns just getting beefy as fuck using his guaranteed 1 movement to exploit this area of the board, moving back and forth. Damn, the AI in this game is pretty good.

Ninja has 4 items, and decides to cross the river. He builds a raft. Oops. Now he has five items. Ninja spends a long time looking at his items and then discards the raft. .... he proceeds to do this five more times before getting it right. ......never mind what I said earlier about the AI.

OH JESUS Assassin got ripped and proceeds to go to the inner area and just passes every test with ease because his stats are so good. He starts spending a long time trying to murder everyone.

Everyone largely doesn't give a shit. We spend many many turns healing and/or Assassin doesn't successfully damage us. I try to get through the portal but fail. Prophetess DOES get through the portal, gets to the werewolf, fails 4 fights in a row against the wolf and dies.

I finally get through the portal. I have 1 life. I slowly trudge up the inner circle one turn at a time, while Assassin fails all his rolls, but only takes about HALF of his rolls because Ninja and Druid continually cast Counterspell or immobilize and just ruin his day.

I arrive at the center. At this point I have less strength than Assassin and 1 HP to his 5. BUT, he can't assassinate me and I can use MY combat ability and I have fate and he doesn't. I successfully beat him once. Instead of damaging him, I steal his armor. On his turn, I beat him again and steal another item. I steal his final strength-based item on my turn and suddenly I have a big advantage on him in strength, I have 2 fate for rerolls, and I have both his armor to mitigate damage as well as a spell to mitigate damage.

I end up needing neither. I defeat Assassin 8 times in a row before he can defeat me once. (There are some ties in here.) I kill him and start using the crown.

Elf tries pulling a ME and starts coming at me slowly but surely with like, 4 fate and better stats than I had, but I'm luckier than Assassin and manage to rattle off 3 successes pretty quick and ruin his day. Ninja does nothing. Druid is a fucking prick and just.... spends an unbelievable amount of time staving of the inevitable without actually trying to get into the center. I damage him TWENTY TIMES before he finally runs out of bullshit heals and dies. I win.

[Sierra]

Burned through the bulk of Bloodborne to get a NG file ready for DLC later this month. (Sirs not appearing in this film: Ebrietas, Logarius, anything chalice, all of which can go do in a fire). Went with arcane + Ludwig's sword, which really is a ridiculous combination. Also A Call Beyond absolutely warrants both the level investment and chewing through your HP for extra bullets. The other offensive arcane items are pretty scrubby, but 1,500 damage a shot vs. MWN is nothing to sneeze at.

I'm still wondering: why is it that the defunct doll in the old workshop is constantly surrounded by the bloodstains of players killing themselves with the chikage?

[Fudozukushi]

To fuck with people.

[SnowFire]

Celestian Tales: Old North: Pretty good!  I liked it.  It is very, very short, though, with lots of "this map continues over here in the future but we're not there yet so you can't go here yet."  I guess they didn't want to call it "Episode 1" or something since that might set expectations of people buying a season pass or the like.  Still...  whatever.  Good writing, mostly good characters, good music, good art, good gameplay.

I am shocked, simply *shocked*, that all of Elf/Gate/myself picked Cammile as an initial main character.  Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerds.  I also did the same thing as Gate, LLG'd the game and sold my crafting stuff, then got wrecked by Tortured Ender who both OHKO'd anybody he wanted or MT OHKO'd the world.  In Bravely Default Hard you can get away with that because stocking up Stamina / BP lets you use extremely broken revival, but not so much here with wounds and going to 0 Stamina on revive.  Was able to LLG past the boss of the next area, then had to grind up for the final fights after getting wrecked by the final at L20 or so.  I suspect the final is hypothetically doable at L23 with some good luck on his healing move, but L24 makes it way, way more sane.

Anyway, not a lot to say.  I mostly liked the writing, with a few exceptions where the author is making their point a tad too blatant (e.g. the nobles being told about cleaning up manure, etc.).  There's a lot of *good* influences from A Game of Thrones & its knock-offs here too: that there exists a rulership structure beyond the old king, the young princess, and his evil chief advisor.  People have extended families, loyalties are weird, all nice feudalism elements showing up.  And I like that as the advertising indicates, the authors are willing to show that dramatic stuff happens that isn't securing the great magic artifact from a monster-infested dungeon; guarding supplies or burning evidence is plenty interesting too.

The only character that was a big miss was Ylianne, the half-elf.  They're trying to go for the "alien outsider who notices the obvious flaws in human society and asks seemingly strange questions, as she hasn't internalized this as common yet" trope, which is indeed a mighty classic.  Star Trek Spock for one obvious case.  But...  it's way too saccharine, and comes across as more childlike than alien.  You know, the 3rd grader who writes a letter to the President asking why he doesn't just declare peace and feed the hungry people.  Doesn't help that her personal backstory seemingly has nothing to do with anything, but maybe that'd change in playing her path, or in future developments if we ever got to actually visit the elven city.

Of course with all the loose ends, this is like judging Suikoden V based on everything up to the Godwin coup, so it's possible things take a turn for the worse later on!  We'll see.  I hope.  They damn well better make their sequels to this...

...speaking of story-heavy games with good settings...

Trails in the Sky SC
I still have my save backed up to the PC even despite my Vita getting stolen (RIP TOPSP Neutral save, though.).  Who woulda thought SC would be on PSP as well as Steam?  Thanks for the labor of love, XSEED.  Now Trails FC is a fantastic game, but with 1 quibble: Hard difficulty was inexplicably locked behind finishing the (fairly long!) game, and Normal was a tad too easy.

Trails SC fixes this.  You can select any difficulty right away!  Like, say, Hard.  Or Nightmare.

Yeah.  Nightmare.  We doing this.  Bring it on, Ourborous.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3K4rjTvkGc

[Dark Holy Elf]

Regarding the final boss (gameplay spoilers for Celestian Tales):

The healing move can be avoided either by applying silence with Aria or depleting the boss' SP with Lucienne. A mix of both works perfectly, since during silence enemies will naturally build up a lot of SP, so you can be ready to kill it at the end. I think the lowest-level I beat that fight was 20, but I'd that was on one of my more recent runs when I knew the game well. I actually found the first stage of the final battle sequence the bigger problem, but I can see either way of course. The final battle sequence and the Tortured Ender are the two points you need to be ready for in terms of equipment/party loadout, for sure.

I actually quite liked Ylianne, unlike your third-grader example I found a lot of her questions to be pretty darn reasonable, because medieval society and warrior culture both kind of suck. (Also, she is a child; if you do her path it becomes very clear that CTON goes for the "elves mature much more slowly than humans" angle, instead of just physically aging more slowly.) That said I don't really recommend doing her path (unless you do them all!), because although it sheds some light on her and a very small amount on the elven land, it doesn't really shed much light on anything else.

[Scar]

El cid, what's your....uhm I'm assuming ps4 handle?

I need a d5 buddy to send and receive items from.

[Sierra]

On PSN? Lerxstmobile. I'm moving pretty slowly through the game though since I'm also working on a couple of others lately.

[SnowFire]

Elf: Amusingly enough I kept forgetting to slot in the stamina-to-0 spell for Lucienne, I did think of that.  When I was fighting him at L22, I actually did keep him under a Silence, Stun, Silence lock for awhile...  and when it fell off with him at 8 Stamina, Omnislash, wipe Luci (no guard!), Omnislash, wipe Cammile, RIP.  Makes sense that if you can both deny the heal and deny Omnislash then it's winnable, though.

I do agree that "optimal" play at lower levels almost surely involves both Luci & Aria to survive, since you just aren't going to blitz if you're underlevel even with some kind of YOLO team set up for it.  Knowing your comment on avoiding the heals, I'd agree that surviving the penultimate fight is probably harder (although I managed it!) - seems to require carefully juggling aggro while you wear out Aria's initial shields, blitz down 1 soldier, then recover and set up a Luci aggro & defense spam backed by Aria Ritual Blade healz lock.

Re Ylianne, makes sense that they're pulling the "she's actually a kid in diguise" trope for all that this still doesn't really work for me if the goal is to make serious points.  And I agree that medieval society sucks in many ways (although CTON at least makes its medieval society way more gender egalitarian, if in a few weird & forced ways...  Turkish sultans with 20 wives can have lots of kids, but duchesses with 5 husbands aren't going to pump out kids any faster...), but I just don't like the "from the mouth of babes" approach to philosophizing.  It's too easy to make any stance sound heartless if you do that.
Communist author: "Why can't the rich just share, like we learned growing up?  Why do we need prices?"
Religious author: "Why doesn't everybody just worship the true god?  Don't people want to be saved and be rewarded with eternal bliss?"
Ayn Rand: "Why do you let the government take the fruits of your labor?  Don't people complain when their hard work isn't rewarded?"
etc.

Reed/Isaac can do the job of railing on society better anyway....  although I just played his prologue, and sheesh, he's a lot worse than I'd assumed (maybe Just As Planned when he's a side character that you *don't* know this and treat him normally!).  Didn't realize he was a psychotic murderer.  Oh well, act casual!  Nice job on doing a rather Sanderson-esque explaining why healing crystals haven't radically revolutionized peasant life & health care, though.  Setting consistency & all.

[Dark Holy Elf]

Isaac is definitely a bit of a sociopath. It's fun to compare his unique scenes/thoughts (make sure to read his diary!) with what you see of him on other routes.

Regarding Ylianne, well, agree to disagree and all that. I think it's fair to consider her role a bit forced, and I agree it could be used to make baseless criticisms... but I certainly felt that most of her criticisms were valid myself. Like yes, it is fucked up that Reynard enjoys killing, or that society defines greatness by being good at warfare, and an outsider/child perspective provides a good in-game vehicle to draw attention to this.


Rayman Legends - I got to the end credits, so I guess I beat the maingame? Anyway, this was a lot of fun. I think Murfy was a bit overused and not always too fun (a bit trial-and-errory and reliant on occasionally annoying AI, though it's usually fine) although I do quite like the Murfy's dungeon challenges. Bosses are better than Origins, which admittedly wasn't a high bar, and the musical stages were certainly a lot more fun/flavourful than their Origins equivalents. I enjoy the daily/weekly challenges quite a bit as well! Some ups and downs compared to Origins but overall an excellent game, one of the best I've played this year.

Bayonetta - Replaying this, up to chapter 5. I can get gold ranks now! Helps a lot that I'm actually doing the Alfheims. A lot of those are quite fun! It's strange that game seems to not want you to do them, a lot of them are only available as "backtrack to this random location in a short window between Verse N and Verse N+1" which is kind of dumb. I guess they were kind of dumb in DMC too so this is just a genre tradition. I generally don't remember them being as bad in DMC though, probably because that game doesn't wall off backtracks nearly as often as Bayonetta does. Ultimately not a big deal though. Game is still very good!

Legend of Legacy - Saga Fonrtierish... but a bit of a slow starter so far. We'll see how this goes.

[Scar]

Has anyone tried the indivisible demo on the psnow store?

It's a cute sprite looking game that plays very much like valkyrie  profile. Side scrolling, maybe metroidvania-esque.

The demo is short and possibly bare bones, but it seems it's a kick starter and if it doesn't reach its goal in less than 2 weeks, the games getting scrapped.

If you like VP, I'd suggest checking it out.

[Captain K]

My problem with it was that it was too much like VP, lacking sorely in originality.

[Dark Holy Elf]

Not gonna lie, at this point, 15 years later, I'd happily take another game "too much like VP". It's a system with loads of potential and it's almost impossible not to put some sort of spin on it which will keep it fresh enough.

[Grefter]

Been 7 years since Covenant of the Plume even.  Yeah I am okay with this.

What do you get when you take an existing franchise and make a super super corporate design by committee game and then polish it and polish it?  Wrong its not Assassin's Creed 4.  That was just that description set in the offices of a video game subsidiary of a giant corporation.  Think bigger more evil corporate than Ubisoft.  That's right I am talking about

Lord of the Rings: Shadows of Moredoors - Holy crap this is a straight rip off of Ubisoft's formula done slightly worse with a bit more polish  (and a lot more game breaking clipping issues).  The Nemesis system would be significantly more interesting if you didn't unlock the final pieces literally just before the final mission and the whole dealio with it was essentially the lead up to unlocking the final mission.

I don't think there is much more to say, it is a shorter more DLC filled Assassin's Creed in a shittier setting that is way more up its own arse, and that is saying something.

The final actual boss fight was pretty good.  They ripped off the final boss of AC1, but instead of LOLOLOLOL THERE IS 9 DUDES AND ONES A CLONE HOPE YOU LIKE SWORD FIGHTING SOME MORE, they instead make the dude split into a bunch of copies that you need to hide from and get sneak kills.  This is actually a neat way to do a high fantasy stealth game boss fight.  Of course that guy was some pointless villain who meant nothing (though making dead bodies heads follow Tallion around as he walked was a pretty effective bit of cinematography).  After that you go in to a sword fight corridor and then find "the Black Hand of Sauron" who is an emogoth dude setup to obviously be the "dark version of the main".  He the proceeds to slit his own throat so that he absorbs the ghost man that lives inside Tallion.  Then Dark Ranger turns into Sauron or something?  Then like Ghost Man (who was dude that made the rings and spoiler warning totally fought Sauron with the one ring for a bit!!!) wills Sauron to be frozen in place and you do press buttons to not die and then stab Sauron in the belly.  Of course press button not to die happens right after 300000 hours of cutscene and this is the first time you have had them in a plot sequence (other times it is just mid fight button prompts).

It was an alright game that had fun ideas I am glad to have finally seen first hand.  I am also very glad I waited for discount.  Holy shit that was short for something in that genre.

I might see if I want to do some of the DLC stories tomorrow.  If I start playing StarCraft 2 replays instead I will just uninstall.

[AndrewRogue]

My problem with it was that it was too much like VP, lacking sorely in originality.

I dunno. I'm a bit rusty on my VP, but the game felt reasonably different despite using the same core mechanic?

That said, I'm actually on the fence because I think the combat might be too tight for me? Like, having a lot of trouble with comboing attacks because it is muuuuuch stricter than I recall VP being. I think I'll stick back it because I love the art and potential, but I'm not sure how much it'll matter. Game needs a pretty serious surge at the end.

[Meeplelard]

I gotta play AC4 at some point, on that note; have it but haven't touched it!

Tales of Encount:

NOTE: I couldn't remember the exact characters who were in the first half, so I fudged it, not that it makes a difference, because in the end, Elle is still there and really, you can't get worse than that!

Narrator: So when we last left our...*checks both sides* ok good.  When we last left our Mostly Silent Hero and crew he...
*gun shot*
Narrator: Ouch, hey what where did that come from?
Ludger: Here.
Narrator: Fine, just start the scene, see what I care.
Ludger: Ok.

*phone call*
Vera: Agent Kresnik, Erston wishes to see you, he won't stop asking for your prescense.  Also, he's constantly picking fights with our guards, beating them up, them offering to take them out for a drink.  We are not pleased by the complete humiliation that our guards receive in terms of both skills and class by him, it would be appreciated if you met with him.
Elle: Why do we have to go? It's not related to Canaan after all! This is stupid!
Ludger: Quiet.
Rowen: Well, shall we go meet with him then?
Elize: I'll help too!
Ludger: ...where? How? Why?
Elle: Hey! You just said 3 words!
Ludger: Shut it.
Elle: Meanie!

*at Spirius*
Gaius: Now listen here, you stop doing that and I won't be forced to embarrass you.
Random Guy: Yeah, or else what?!Q
Gaius: Or else I'll offer to take you out for a drink, you won't refuse and then I'll make you pay the bill!
Random Guy: ...you monster! I concede!
Gaius: Ah, there you are.
Elize: Hi your hi-...er...generic nobody! Yes! That's it!
Gaius: I am NOT a nobody!
Elize: But you said you didn't want...
Gaius: I am Erston, playboy billionaire aristocrat noble! You got that?
Rowen: Yes, he seems to demand that even his alias must be of a high rank, but in any event, what do you want?
Gaius: Take me to a Fractured Dimension! I must see if you are WORTHY of destroying realities!
Leia: Wait, why do you care about this?
Ludger: But...what...I...huh?
Milla: Yes, why do you destroy worlds so casually?
Ludger: I give up.
Gaius: Ignoring how these two spontaneously appeared, let me help you until you find another fract-...
*phone call*
Vera: We've detected another Fractured Dimension at...well...basically your exact location, GO THERE NOW!
Gaius: ...how convenient.
Milla: Take me with you, I want to see you destroy another world.
Elle: Wait, what if Ludger isn't good enough to destroy a world?
Gaius: Death!
Leia: And if he's good enough?
Gaius: I'll become a PC.
Leia: Do we have a choice?
Gaius: Do you want to continue the plot?
Rowen: It's settled then! Off to destroy another reality!

*Fractured Dimension, in Kanbalar*
Gaius: This is just like the Kanbalar where I come from...wonder what's different about it?
Leia: Let's talk to the guards? You are king, they should let us in!
Guards: YOU'RE HERE TO KILL THE KING! GET HIM!
Gaius: ...do you guys REALLY want to do this? I mean, I'm a former final boss, we all know this is...
*Guard cuts Gaius' new fancy suit very slightly*
Gaius: ...excuse me, this scene is not suitable for most eyes.
*Pan Camera to Ludger and the rest, sounds of vicious death, murder, and other things occur*
Gaius: Well, our path is now clear.
Leia: ...Gaius, can I ask you a question?
Gaius: Yes?
Leia: How did you so casually murder 7 guards in such a gruesome way and NOT get a single bloodstain on you?
Gaius: I'm just that good...and my custom made suits are that important to me.
Leia: Uh...huh...
Milla: Anyone not acknowledging that he completely slaughtered those people?
Gaius: Well, if Ludger succeeds, they're going to stop existing anyway.
Milla: Oh, so now you're just going to destroy this reality like it's nothing?
Gaius: Isn't that why we're here?  I mean, isn't that the exact reason you came too?
Ludger: Let's go.

*in the palace*
Gaius: So the king here is a recluse...well, it's not me because I'm totally not like that...
Elle: Because you have friends right?
Gaius: Not...really...
Leia: What about the Chimeriad?
Gaius: What about them?
Leia: I mean, they were kind of your friends or something right?
Milla: Sounds like minions to me.
Gaius: Well, that's because that's what they were!  Have you ever heard of a man like me with friends!?  Anyway, let's go meet the king.

*Wingul sitting on throne*
Wingul: Life is pain, hate, suffering I AM NOT FIT TO BE KING!
Gaius: Hi Wingul.
Wingul: What!? Erston, you return!? WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME TO THIS FATE!?
Gaius: Because...uhh...what reason did I give you again?
Wingul: Your sister was sick so went to attend her, and left me on the throne because I suggested it! THIS IS YOUR FAULT!
Milla: Wait that doesn't...
Gaius: (Shhh! Trying to do this civilly!)  Yes, it's totally my fault, I am a coward who can't sit on the throne and deal with my problems.  Now excuse me, I need to go behind that pillar and vomit out the fact that I actually said that.
Jude: Wait, so the Gaius here went to help his sister and left Wingul on the throne and he's not fit to rule? I can see how that's a problem.
Milla: You were definitely NOT standing there 5 minutes ago.  How did you do that?
Jude: Uhh...would you believe me if I said I was a Ninja Doctor?
Milla: No.
Jude: ...then I got nothing.
Gaius: Listen, Wingul, we can do this together, we just...
Wingul: YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS! *Goes white bishie mode* Nande Tsumakasu Nincato Ivan Eht Nioj!*
*This is not meant to actually resemble a real language; the language sounds almost Japanese but isn't quite it.  If you played ToX1, you know what I'm talking about.
Jude: I think he's the catalyst...
Gaius: ...so...is this going to be my first boss fight as a PC?
Ludger: Yes.
*one boss fight later*
Wingul: Your highness, I'm sorry! Please take the throne and protect the country again! I am not worthy!
Gaius: I understand...Ludger, your thing.
*Ludger kills Wingul, gets the Waymarker*
Milla: You so casually had your own friend killed like that?
Gaius: Trust me, I didn't like doing it, but I knew it had to be done.  Part of being a King is having to make decisions that go beyond your own personal life and are for the best of your subjects.  I fully understand what the me of that reality was going through and many a time I considered doing the same thing.
Milla: But you sat on the throne and muscled through it all in the end, rather than addressing your own personal needs.
Gaius: Yes.  It's hard to have a personal life when you're royalty, but well, you know...anyway, Ludger, you are clearly worthy, so I don't have to kill me.  Call me if you need help destroying another world...or you just want a drink.
Elle: Aww, he's a nice guy!
Gaius: We'll split the tab, of course.
Elle: ...jerk
*Gaius' phone rings*
Gaius: ...this damn thing won't stop, how do you handle it!?
Rowen: I've told you multiple times, you press the button and talk into it.
Gaius: I don't understand how you can figure out these "phone" things.  I'll just ask you to show it to me later!
Elize: ...not very good with technology, is he?
Teepo: He's a complete klutz!!!

*one debt payment later*
Nova: COME HERE! I NEED YOU BECAUSE...uh...JUST DO IT OK I'M SCARED!
Ludger: Pain...
*at the next town*
Nova: These guys, we froze their accounts and then they GAVE ME A DEATH STARE
Ludger: Who cares.
Nova: Damn it, show some compassion!
Elle: I think I've been here! There's a lake and such here right?
Leia: Uh, there haven't been that many lakes like that on Elympios in a while.
Nova: Well, there was that one lake near here...that went dry decades ago...there were ruins found there...
Alvin: What the heck does that have to do with anything?
Nova: Well, it means Elle clearly can't be thinking about this place because there's no water!
Jude: Hmm...I feel like something convenient is about to happen right about...
*Phone call*
Jude: ...now...
Vera: Fractured Dimension, Waymarker, GO THERE NOW!
Nova: Wait, Vera? IS THAT YOU SIS!?
Vera: Nova? What are you doing here?
Nova: I should ask you the same thing.
Vera: I'm not here, I'm the freaking phone calling one of my employees WHO YOU KNOW IS EMPLOYED UNDER SPIRIUS.  What about me calling him doesn't make sense?
Nova: THIS IS WHY YOU NEVER HAD A STABLE RELATIONSHIP!!!!
Jude: ...where did that come from?
Elize: So...Nova...I guess we'll be seeing you.
Teepo: Yeah, good luck with those death stares!
Nova: BUT I'M SCARED ;_;
Elize: But we have to deal with the Fractured Dimension!
Alvin: That's ok, you B-team guys can handle that!
Elize: B...team!? I'm just the B-team!?
Teepo: You're a jerk!
Alvin: Yes, yes I am.
Milla: I'll go with Ludger, I have to guilt trip him more about destroying worlds.
Ludger: Why me...
Jude: Good, Leia, you're with him too, Rowen, help and me and Alvin out.
Leia: Wait, Jude, I'M on the B-Team too!?
Jude: Uh...I guess you are?
Leia: ...fine, see what I care! Let's go destroy another reality already!  That will be a far more interesting story to write about than that.
Rowen: Say, where are Gaius and Muzet in all of this? Aren't they part of our team?
Ludger: Drinking and shopping.
Rowen: Ah, I see, fair enough.

*Fractured Dimension*
Leia: So which way do we go?
Milla: Not sure, we need leads.
Elize: We could just wander around aimlessly and go to wherever is dangerous until we stumble on the right area.
Teepo: Yeah, but that won't get anything done and I frankly just want to take a nap in Milla's chest.
Elize: Teepo!!!
Ludger: Ruins.
Milla: What?
Ludger: It's there.
*at the lake ruins*
Elle: YAY! We're closer to Canaan! Then I can see daddy and...
*Thunder*
Elle: EEEEEEEH WAAAAAAAAHH!!! ;_;
Milla: Awwww, is the little girl afraid of a little thunder? *evil grin*
Elle: NO! I'M NOT AF-*thunder* EEEEH!
Milla: Oh, I'm going to have fun with this this >=)
NOTE: She actually does this.  Milla actually mocks Elle outright and trollls her and it's glorious.  5 points for Alternate Milla!
Elle: I'm not afraid, fear makes you unable to focus and that's bad and...
Elize: It's ok to be scared of something.
Elle: SHUT UP!
Leia: Yeah, it's nothing to worry about.
*Thunder strikes, Leia and Elize jump down*
Leia: ...that Thunder IS really loud though, hurts my ears.
Elize: And it'll probably start raining soon, we should get inside.
Ludger: Let's go.

*inside*
Voice: WHO DARES ENTER THE HALLS OF THE MIGHTY ONE THAT IS ODIN, LORD OF THESE MIGHTY PALACE WALLS!
Milla: ...seriously, Odin?  This place looks like something out of a late game Star Ocean dungeon.
Voice: QUIET! YOU WILL LEARN TO RESPECT THAT WHO RULES OVER THOR LORD OF TRANSVERSING TIME!
Leia: Hey, voice, shut up! We're trying to figure out where we are out?
Voice: SUCH INSUBORDINATION WILL NOT BE MET PLAINLY! LEAVE NOW DESTROYER OF WORLDS OR...
Ludger: No.
Voice: I DID NOT FINISH MY THREAT! HOW DARE YOU INTERRUPT MY MIGHT BOOMING VOICE AND...
Ludger: Hush.
Voice: I WILL NOT LISTEN TO...
Ludger: Shove it.
Voice: FINE! BUT DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU FOUL MORTAL!  YOU WILL SUFFER THE WRATH OF...
Elize: Can he just shut up already?
Teepo: Hey, idiot, we're already starting to move in so shut up so we can just continue onward already.
Voice: YOU WILL PAY FOR SUCH ACTIONS FOUL CREATURE! WHAT IS YOUR NAME?!
Teepo: I'm Teepo!
Voice: THEN, ONE CALLED TEEPO, YOU HAVE MADE YOURSELF A POWERFUL ENEMY RIVAL THIS DAY! I WILL NOT REST UNTIL I OVERCOME YOU, FOR YOU ARE CLEARLY THE MIGHTIEST OF THOSE IN YOUR GROUP!
Leia: Did he just...
Milla: declare Teepo his...
Ludger: Archrival!?
Narrator:  Yes, yes he did.  And now we are ending this chapter.

[Veryslightlymad]

FFXII:

I gave up on hunts and optionals for a while and resumed the story. I defeated Doctor Cid in a weird fight.

Vaan: Successfully DIDN'T use names this time when told not to use names. Was called Balthier's apprentice which made Balthier look visibly shaken. Actually did stuff with his unrealized girlfriend instead of seemingly encouraging others to steal her away. All in all, Vaan had a good showing this time around. In combat, Vaan is just disgusting. No new weapons, but he's still putting out about twice as much damage (per strike. More total since axes are fast AND combo.) as the next best in my party. I have attempted to Berserk him through some hunts/bosses with mixed success.

Balthier: Damn, son. You are shockingly well-adjusted for a dude with a dad like yours. On my list of guys that succeeded despite really, really crummy dads, I place Balthier just below my Brother-in-law, but just above The Vision. In combat, continues to be sort of my jack-of-all trades. I've reached a level where guns are really good options despite Balthier having crummy stats across the board. I think he's the one character that I don't bother to equip him with stats beside defense and resistance, because I know he'll be fine.

Fran: Also had some light plot. Emphasis on light. Otherwise, is there. Gave her a Katana, but shockingly, she still deals the same amount of damage. At least now she can combo a little? Ugh. I have no idea what to do with her. I could give her dedicated mage weaponry, but.... the mage weapons are SO BAD. She doesn't have the vitality for Axes, I don't WANT a third swordsman, and I haven't seen a good spear for a while. Poles on her would be dumb, because anything where she wants to target Mdef, she wants to just cast spells anyhow. Nonetheless, she's still a really good mage in my file and is often in my party for boss fights. I just wish I could handle trash a bit better with her. On the plus side, I found this hat I don't think I'm supposed to have yet, and I've seen her take 16 damage from a spell cast by a mob that was higher level than her. So... that's there.

Basch: Got to show his kung-fu off against what I'm gonna try to get my friend to Cosplay with me if we ever go to a convention. Has identical weaponry to Ashe and that makes me feel bored of both of them, so someone's getting something else, eventually. Not sure what or when. SO STRONK. He has like, 15 more strength than anyone else. Still only guy with more than one quickening.

Ashe: "I want to destroy the nethecite" "I need the nethicite's power".... wait, is she conflicted? I thought her stance was pretty clear, but now, less so? I'm confused. I feel like this is another instance of the FFXII writing staff Aiming for "Subtle" and landing on "completely unshown transformation". At any rate, she's my tank, still. Lots of HP, hilariously about 1000 more than her summon if she pulls it out. ALSO worth noting is that I managed to summon Mateus in a fight AND have it be a good, helpful strategy. So Mateus enters the early lead for espers, which are probably as bad as summons have ever been.

Penelo: Has a crossbow now, and probably will keep a crossbow forever, unless I shrug on what to give Fran and stick it on her, or decide "Well, fuck it. Crossbows run purely off of strength" and give it to Basch. Why? Because I have Stone Bolts. Holy christ, are those good. On hit disable, and it fires a LOT. This thing is a lifesaver. It's what I never knew I wanted or needed for this game. Penelo otherwise is my secondary mage. Kind of fits that weird "Statusy" niche that you gotta have on your team if you have a 6 man team.

[SnowFire]

Trails SC - Ow ow ow ow OW.  Okay Nightmare was a bad plan.  This isn't a game where you can grind your way out of a scrape, either, XP growth goes to crap really fast if you're overlevel.

Human Resource Machine: Since by law you have to post your screenshots.



Bubble sort still works, yup.  Probably need to be an n log n sort to hit the speed challenge, I suspect.



Yes.

EDIT: Oh by the way, the humor was sort of okay and not too in your face throughout most of the game, but sheesh, the ending was a miss.  You're not allowed to explain the joke!  That kills it!  Additionally, not sure what they were thinking with having Carol all in a cast & plummeting from the building.  Like...  that's fine for Wile E. Coyote, but it's weird and disconnected with anything here.  Haha, an employee tried to commit suicide?  Or something??  On the bright side this totally doesn't matter, so oh well.

[Grefter]

I don't think it was actually meant to be much of a joke?  I think it is literally meant to just be "Here is computers!  Computers are great! Yay for automation!".

Which probably makes it not a great game as message?  Because the audience for it generally are going to know the schtick and pick up on it early

Also I assume that you only posted the final level that means you sat down and did the whole game in an hour and it really just shows how dumb I am.  Don't correct me on this.

Edit - Oh yeah I mean to comment on the Carol thing as well.  I don't really get why they implied that the robots threw her off a building.  I was going to ?!?!?!? at why they killed her, but then like well she isn't DEAD I suppose, but it is just a joke with setup and a punch line, but doesn't make sense.

[Luther Lansfeld]

Child of Light – I finished this game a couple of days ago, and it remains a pretty solid-if-breezy game. I think the later game bosses are weaker than the earlier game ones for whatever reason – ran out of ideas? Nox and the sea serpent are particularly crappy. I like that all of the PCs have some use, and I ended up switching people in quite a lot. My general feeling is that the usefulness is Finn > Oengus > Rubella > Aurora > Robert ~ Gen > Tristis, but everyone is at least situationally good except for Tristis who largely seems to barely have a niche. (Although his long lasting Protect + Taunt against the final boss was a reasonably good strategy. The game’s music was so good!! I like pretty much all of the tracks.

Yoshi’s Woolly World – I’m working on World 3 right now. Still a fun game and very much a successor to the SNES game.

[Scar]

So I supposedly sent El Cid an item in d5.

Used the bill, "send item to friend."

Then it didn't let me pick an item, and now the bill is gone....so who knows!