LISA

[Fenrir]

LISA The painful RPG

It is despicable and horrifying and wastes your time and frequently gives the player the middle finger and I think I may have really enjoyed it.

LISA is an 8 hours game with a ton of characters each with a ton of skills. Here is how each one of them fares at the end of the game.




XP
I gave 109000 xp to every character, because a Terry used from the beginning to the end of the game had exactly that much.
Brad gets slightly more because he participates in every fight.
Area 3 characters (Crisp, Buffalo, Sonny, Shocklord) get less because they join late in the game and underleveled.


Stats
HP, ATK, DEF, SATK, SDEF are straightforward stats. I don’t know which attacks are physical and which are magical. Sorry dudes.
I also have no idea what LUCK does guys.

Characters either have SP or TP.
The vast majority of people have SP, which are are magic points that work like MP in every other RPG.
Only 5 characters have TP. TP are like IP in Lufia 2. Each character starts every fight with X TPs, X being a random number between 0 and their level. Any attack received raises TP by a little. Any regular attack done by the character also raises TP by 10, while guarding raises TP by 5. TP is reset after every battle. Max TP is always equal to 100.

There are three elements that I know of: Fire, Water, and animal. Fire deals double damage to oiled enemies, water dissipates Oil and the burning status.


Status
Status effects are a big part of LISA’s gameplay. Negative status can work on every enemy in the game, but some status attacks have a lower chance to work on bosses (Especially the turn wasting status attacks)
For status attacks that rely on SP, status and hit % were tested 10 times minimum per status attack. Only 3 times minimum for attacks that rely on TP, because seriously this stat topic took too long already.

The following status effects go away after roughly 2 rounds:
- Tripped: Turn loss
- Stun: Turn loss

The following status effects go away after roughly 3 rounds:
- Paralysis: Turn loss
- Scared: Turn loss.
- Sleep: Turn loss. Dispelled by taking damage
- Bleed: 2% max HP damage after every round
- Burn: 5% max HP damage after every round. Healed by water attacks.
- Stink: Lower chance to be targeted by enemy attacks. Pointless on an enemy?
- Hangover: Reduced stats

The following status effects go away after roughly 5 rounds:
- Poison: 10% max HP damage after every round
- Deep Poison: 4% max HP damage after every round (The only benefit over regular poison is that they stack)
- Pissed off: Randomly attacks either an enemy or an ally with a physical attack, always does a critical hit.
- Drunk: Reduces attack, among probably other things?
- Crying: Lowers accuracy
- Weird: Reduces defense and attack

Positive status effects also seem to go away after roughly 5 rounds:
- Cool: Regens HP
- Super Cool: Regens HP
- Wary: Increases defense
- Party up! : I think this raises all stats, most crucially accuracy

Brad, Dick, Queen, Buckets, Carp, Clint, Tiger Man are Joy addicts. Sometimes outside of battle they’ll get Joy cravings that will severely reduce their stats. This can be healed by spending turns in battle, resting in an inn or feeding them Joy. I haven’t considered addiction at all for the purpose of this stat topic.


Damage testing
I tested damage and status chance mostly on Garbage Island enemies, and Rando’s army at the end for Failure Brad. In general, there’s not a whole lot of variation in damage between different enemies anyway.
Damage was tested 2 times minimum because of random variance.


Equipment
I gave everybody their best weapons. There’s only one best uzi and one best bat, but there are only three uzi users and three bat users so I felt generous.
Armor, man, whatever. I gave characters the accessories they came with + storebought armor. Weak but I don’t think armor matters much anyway compared to HP.
I also gave characters whatever they come with. Usually this is only a flavor accessory; and this only really matters for Clint (who gets an Oiled Chest and Denim Jeans), Ajeet (Badass Belt Buckle), Shocklord (Denim Jeans), and Crisp (Karate Belt) But whatever these guys need help.


Pictures
Totally stolen from the Steam guides


Brad



Level 30 Nobody

Equipment:
Queen Bands
Deluxe Sunscreen
Hawaiian Poncho
Dead Flower

Stats:
2909 HP
402 SP
121 ATK
114 DEF
70 SATK
75 SDEF
102 AGI
91 LUCK

Abilities:
Brad can combo 4 kinds of regular attacks (left punch, right punch, etc) They all do the same damage. If he enters a right combination, he’ll follow this combo with a special attack.
Armstrong Style: 5x210 damage
Horse Stance: Heals 333 SPs
Machine Gun Fist: 4x210 + 540 damage, 15 SP
Buster Punches: 3x210 + 250 damage, 3 SP
Dropkick: 4x210 + 630 damage, 10 SP
Fire Ball: 3x210 + 340 fire damage, 10 SP
Fire Ball 2: 3x210 + 530 fire damage, 15 SP
Fire Ball 3: 3x210 + 650 fire damage, 20 SP
Fire Ball 4: 4x210 + 860 fire damage, 25 SP
Surprise Attack: 3x210 + 420 damage, 5SP, 30% chance to stun
Cannonball: 3x210 + 700 damage, 15 SP
Tackle: 3x210 + 670 damage, 15 SP, 50% chance to trip
Headbutt: 3x210 + 720 damage, 15 SP, 50% chance to stun
Charging Headbutt: 4x210 + 700 damage, 15 SP, 40% chance to stun
Head Slide: 4x210 + 550MT damage, 20 SP, 50% chance to trip
Homerun Head Slide: 4x210 + 660MT damage, 20 SP, 90% chance to trip



Level 30 Failure

Equipment:
Queen Bands
Deluxe Sunscreen
Bare Chest
Dead Flower

Stats:
3663 HP
643 SP
108 ATK
123 DEF
51 SATK
49 SDEF
88 AGI
90 LUCK

Abilities:
Bite: 400
Dropkick: 630, 10 SP
Fire Blast: 860, fire, 20 SP
Charging Headbutt: 690, 15 SP, 60% chance to stun
Burning Head Slide: 830, MT, 25 SP, 84% chance to trip
Cry: Restores all SP and inflicts crying on Brad
Scream: 79% chance to scare, MT

 
Terry

 

Level 28 Hint Lord

Equipment:
Queen Bands
Fur Coat
Diary Entries

Stats:
1002 HP
204 SP
117 ATK
78 DEF
36 SATK
72 SDEF
75 AGI
43 LUCK

Abilities:
Attack: 190
Sailing Knuckle: 440, 15 SP
Soaring Knuckle: 570, 25 SP
Knuckle Voyage: 690, 40 SP
Knuckle Drop: 430, 3 SP
Big Knuckle Drop: 610, 6 SP
Big Bad Knuckle Drop 670, 9 SP

Cheer: Heals 260 HPs, 20 SP
Inform: Heals 3 SPs, 10 SP (lol)
Cool Pose: 70% chance to become cool (+30 HPs/round), 15 SP
The Last Cheer! : Fully heals, inflicts crying, 80 SP
Verbal Bash: 60% chance to inflict crying, 10% chance to piss off, 10 SP
Hot Dance: 730 fire damage, 30 SP
The Hottest Dance: 2440 fire damage, 40 SP 
Super Cool Pose: 80% chance to become super cool (+60 HPs and +10SP / round), 30 SP. Stacks with cool pose (OP as fuck)
Hype up! : Increases crit % chance. Terry has a 50% chance to do a critical hit with physical attacks afterwards, resulting in a 2200 damage knuckle voyage. 15 SP
Weather Alert: 90% chance to trip, 10 SP
Little cheer: Heals 42 HPs, 40 SP


Nern



Level 28 Orator

Equipment:
Snubby
Wood Shield
Deluxe Sunscreen
Plastic Tarp

Stats:
1770 HP
436 SP
83 ATK
77 DEF
66 SATK
78 SDEF
94 AGI
105 LUCK

Abilities:
Shoot: 320
Finger Beam: 410, 15 SP
Finger Beam 2: 450, 20 SP
Finger Beam 3: 510, 25 SP
Finger Beam 4: 560, 30 SP
Finger Beam 5: 630, 35 SP
Finger Beam 6: 710, 40 SP

Discuss Techniques: Heals 30 TP, 10 SP
Discuss Powers: Heals 30% max SP, 15 SP
Discuss Health: Heals 40% max HP, 20 SP
Insult: 10 SP, 80% chance to piss off
Bore: 30 SP, 70 % chance to put to sleep
Really Bore: 50 SP, 70 % chance to put to sleep
Ghost Story: 22 SP, 40% chance to scare
True Ghost Story: 38 SP, 60% chance to scare
Dirty Insult: 12 SP, 100% chance to piss off
 

Olan



Level 28 Bowsman

Equipment:
Martlo Bow
Dandy Hat
Plastic Tarp

Stats:
2125 HP
329 TP
114 ATK
106 DEF
42 SATK
93 SDEF
120 AGI
137 LUCK

Abilities:
Loose: 420
Big Shot: 520, 5 TP
Bomb Arrow: 450, fire, 12 TP
Big Bomb Arrow: 563, fire, 20 TP
Poison Arrow: 420, 50% chance to poison, 8 TP
Deep Poison Arrow: 440, 80% chance to deep poison, 18 TP
Mega Big Shot: 940, 15 TP
Rapid Arrow: 3x320 damage, 8 TP
Mega Rapid Arrow: 6x500 damage, 16 TP
Vantage Point: Increases evade, 5 TP
 

Rage



Level 28 Luchador

Equipment:
Queen Bands
Sparkly Mask
Plastic Tarp

Stats:
1710 HP
379 SP
99 ATK
80 DEF
39 SATK
81 SDEF
143 AGI
148 LUCK

Abilities:
Rage has combos like Brad.
Lucha: 170x5 damage
Missile Headbutt: 4x170 + 380 damage 5 SP
Running Splash: 4x170 + 430 damage 7 SP
Running Geyser: 4x170 + 560 fire damage, 9 SP
Head Rush: 3x170 + 370 damage, 3 SP
Massive Head Rush: 3x170 + 560 damage, 11 SP
Final Head Rush: 4x170 + 780 damage, 16 SP
Tackle Rush: 4x170 + 450 damage, 80% chance to trip, 11 SP
Meteor Elbow Drop: 5x170 + 670 damage, 14 SP
Astro Elbow Drop: 5x170 + 960 damage, 20 SP

 
Fardy



Level 28 Truck Driver

Equipment:
The Homer
Wood Shield
Bare Chest

Stats:
2192 HP
311 SP
94 ATK
42 DEF
41 SATK
51 SDEF
25 AGI
127 LUCK
Depressed (lower stats)

Abilities:
All of Fardy’s attacks have a 65% chance to trip, if they connect.
Strike: 250
Truck Slam: 1210, MT, 45% accuracy, 20 SP
Truck Slam 2: 1460, MT, 45% accuracy, 25 SP
Truck Slam 3: 1730, MT, 45% accuracy,  30 SP
Truck Slam 4: 2550, MT, 45% accuracy,  40 SP
Weep: Restores 100 SPs, inflicts crying on Fardy
 

Beastborn



Level 28 Wildman

Equipment:
Adventure Whip
Wood Shield
Dandy Hat
Turquoise Pads
Stench

Stats:
2727 HP
360 TP
68 ATK
103 DEF
50 SATK
97 SDEF
27 AGI
100 LUCK
Stink (Lower chance to get attacked)

Abilities:
Whip: 460
Paralyzing Whip: 570, 33% chance to paralyze, 7 TP
Whip Flurry: 890x3 damage, 40% accuracy, 20 TP
Bite: 860, 66% chance to poison , 17 TP
Big Bite: 930, 0% chance to poison, 40 TP

All the abilities below are animal elemental
Critter Bite: 520, 100% chance to weird out, 5 TP
Stampede: 600, 15 TP
Critter Clamp: 780, decreases enemy stats for 3 turns, cannot use animal attacks for 3 turns, 23 TP
Big Stampede: 980, MT, 20 TP
Deer Toss: 930, 30 TP
Deer Bomb: 1130, 66% chance to burn, 30 TP 
Deer Driver: 800, 66% chance to stun, 20 TP
Big Deer Driver: 1110, 66% chance to stun, 30 TP
Final Deer Driver: 1310, 50% chance to stun, 40 TP

 
Mad Dog



Level 28 Barbarian

Equipment:
The Homer
Wood Shield
Dandy Hat
Turquoise Pads

Stats
2537 HP
311 TP
103 ATK
140 DEF
60 SATK
120 SDEF
58 AGI
130 LUCK

Abilities:
Club: 510, 70% chance to trip
Fireball: 460, fire, 100% chance to burn, 10 TP
Big Fireball: 1130, fire, 100% chance to burn, 20 TP   
Hellball: 1400, fire, 100% chance to burn, 40 TP
Nail Comb: 1050, 100% chance to inflict bleed, 20 TP
Nail Rake: 1780, 100% chance to inflict bleed, 30 TP
Taunt: Taunts every enemy (higher chance to be targeted), gets 25 TP per enemy, 5 TP

 
Rooster



Level 28 Chanticleer

Equipment:
Queen Bands
Hawaiian Poncho

Stats:
2397 HP
503 SP
109 ATK
56 DEF
50 SATK
62 SDEF
143 AGI
152 LUCK

Abilities:
Slap: 350
Cock Blast: 280, 4 SP
Cock Blast 2: 330, 8 SP
Cock Blast 3: 370, 12 SP
Cock Blast 4: 440, 20 SP
Rolling Gale: 440, 10 SP, 20% chance to stun   
Rolling Hail: 630, 20 SP, 40% chance to stun
Rolling Hurricane: 680, 60 SP, 40% chance to stun
Rooster Storm: 960, MT, 60 SP
Rooster Apocalypse: 1430, MT, 80 SP
Rustle Dropkick: 380, 10 SP
Hustle Dropkick: 550, 10 SP
Bustle Dropkick: 790, 10 SP

 
Percy



Level 31 Pushover

Equipment:
Decent Boomerang
Deluxe Sunscreen
Plastic Tarp
Old Sock

Stats
2222 HP
445 SP
66 ATK
88 DEF
40 SATK
116 SDEF
135 AGI
78 LUCK
Stink (Lower chance to get attacked)

Abilities:
Boomerang: 240
Fire Ball: 580, fire, 20 SP, 100% chance to burn
Body Splash: 360, 10 SP
Big Body Splash: 500, 10 SP
Encourage: Heals 550 HP, 20 SP
Big Fire Ball: 1010, fire, 20 SP, 100% chance to burn
Encourage Greatly: Heals 1030 HP, 40 SP

 
Geese



Level 29 Avioon

Equipment:
Queen Bands
Bird Mask
Plastic Tarp
Lucky Feather

Stats:
1687 HP
580 SP
92 ATK
73 DEF
85 ATK
103 SDEF
148 AGI
158 LUCK
All his abilites do animal damage.

Abilities:
Peck: 690
Super Peck: 710, 11 SP
Ultra Peck: 750, 22 SP
Hyper Peck: 950, 17 SP
Magnificent Peck: 890, 33 SP
Poison Peck: 80% chance to poison, 33 SP
Deep Poison Peck: 70% chance to deep poison, 44 SP
Paralyzing Peck: 90% chance to paralyze, 44 SP
Flightless Bird: 1410, 55 SP
 

Buckets



Level 28 Pistoleer

Equipment:
Snubby
Snubby
Paint Can
Hawaiian Poncho

Stats:
1446 HP
303 TP
131 ATK
79 DEF
53 SATK
82 SDEF
181 AGI
148 LUCK

Abilities:
Shoot: 1170
Coin Flick: 1000, 50% chance to scare
Bullet Tap: 780x3 damage, 15 TP
Clip Dump: 1210, 15 TP
Bullet Shuffle: 1410, 20 TP
Bullet Dance: 1670, 30 TP
Bullet Ballet: 1720, 40 TP
Bullet Tornado: 1470, 35 TP
Head or Tails: 1800, 80% accuracy, 30 TP

 
Garth



Level 28 Artist

Equipment:
Pencil
Sparkly Mask
Bare Chest
Cape

Stats:
1800 HP
519 SP
38 ATK
70 DEF
61 SATK
82 SDEF
112 AGI
100 LUCK

Abilities:
Dirty Stab: 120, 70% chance to poison
Risky Drawing: Raises attack (100 more damage, hurray), 10 TP
Uncomfortable Drawing: Raises defense, 10 TP
Perplexing Drawing: 80% chance to confuse, 20 TP   
Questionable Drawing: 90% chance to piss off, 15 TP
Unspeakable Drawing: 40% chance to stun, 15 TP   
Agreeable Drawing: 15 TP. Removes blind/confusion/depression/paralysis/scared/weird on an enemy. How nice.
Artistic Discussion: 50% chance to put to sleep, 20 TP   
Creepy Drawing: 40% chance to scare, 20 TP

 
Carp



Level 27 Cutthroat

Equipment:
Combat Knife
Fish Head
Bare Chest

Stats:
1659 HP
485 TP
122 ATK
56 DEF
40 SATK
45 SDEF
177 AGI
152 LUCK

Abilities:
Slash: 710
Fever River: 250 x 3 damage, 40% accuracy, 25 SP
Raging Sprinkle: 590, 30 SP
Poison Mist: 50% chance to poison, 30 SP
Deep Poison Mist: 70% chance to deep poison, 45 SP
Wrist Slash: 800, lowers ATK and SATK, 20 SP   
Ankle Slash: 800, lowers AGI and LUCK, 20 SP
Hectic Water: 810, 40 SP
Fever River 2: 250 x 5 damage, 90% accuracy, 30 SP
Fever River 3: 250 x 7 damage, 90% accuracy, 40 SP

 
Bo



Level 28 Bard

Equipment:
Guitar
Odd Helmet
Plastic Tarp

Stats:
1900 HP
360 SP
50 ATK
84 DEF
50 SATK
77 SDEF
92 AGI
100 LUCK

Abilities:
Siren’s Call: Cures status ailments, 5 SP
Muscle Call: Inflicts Ironbody (raises defense by a lot), MT, 5 SP
Dullard’s Call: 20% chance to put to sleep, MT, 30 SP
Hell’s Call: 60% chance to scare, MT, 30 SP
God’s Call: Heals 400 HP, MT, 15 SP
Unhearable Call: 100 % chance to weird out, MT, 5 SP   
Screeching Call: 110, MT, 80 % chance to inflict bleed, 5 SP

 
Harvey



Level 28 Lawyer

Equipment:
Dandy Boy
Wood Shield
Dandy Hat
Bare Chest

Stats:
2708 HP
490 SP
109 ATK
73 DEF
66 SATK
78 SDEF
93 AGI
105 LUCK

Abilities:
Shoot: 690
Water Gun: 630, water, 30 SP
Water Gun 2: 920, water, 40 SP   
Water Gun 3: 1210, water, 50 SP
Soak: Heals burning/confusion/hangover/scared/weird, 10 SP
Legal Jargin: 100 % chance to inflict bleed, 70% chance to put to sleep, 30 SP 
Wrongful Accusation: 100 % chance to inflict bleed, 60% chance to confuse, 30 SP
Slander: 100 % chance to inflict bleed, 100% chance to inflict crying, 60% chance to piss off, 20% chance to scare, 30 SP
Restraining Order: 100 % chance to inflict bleed, 40% chance to paralyze, 30 SP

 
Queen



Level 29 Queen Bee

Equipment
The Homer
Dandy Hat
Turquoise Pads

Stats:
2256 HP
262 SP
78 ATK
95 DEF
65 SATK
94 SDEF
84 AGI
98 LUCK

Abilities:
All of Queen’s attacks have low accuracy (Around 70% against garbage island enemies) and a 30% chance to trip an enemy.
Bash: 160
Homerun KO: 1120, 70% chance to stun (in addition to the 30% chance to trip), 15 SP
Beatdown: 3 x 710, damage, 20 SP
Big Beatdown: 3 x 710 damage, 50 SP. Doesn’t appear to be better than Beatdown in any way.
Final Beatdown: 5 x710 damage, 80 SP
Threaten: 100% chance to extort (against regular enemies), 20 SP. This doubles the magazines gotten after a fight.

 
RT



Level 28 Wildcard

Equipment:
Duffel Bag
Dandy Hat
Hawaiian Poncho
Stench

Stats :
2258 HP
490 TP
90 ATK
105 DEF
51 SATK
127 SDEF
86 AGI
104 LUCK
Stink (Lower chance to get attacked)

Abilities:
Bag Swat: 580
Bag Fire: 820, fire, 80% chance to burn, 10 SP
Bag Flames: 1040, fire, 100% chance to burn, 20 SP
Bag Inferno: 1290, fire, 100% chance to burn, 30 SP
Bag Flash: 90% chance to blind, 10 SP
Bag of What?: 90% chance to weird out, 5 SP
Bag of Yuck: 80% chance to deep poison, 5 SP   
Savage Elbow: 950, 10 SP
Savage Elbow 2: 1140, 15 SP
Savage Elbow 3: 1330, 20 SP
Sleeper Hold: 850, 40% chance to put to sleep, 25 SP
Nightmare Hold: 850, 50% chance to put to sleep, 45 SP

 
Clint



Level 28 Casanova

Equipment:
Oiled Chest
Denim Jeans

Stats:
1377 HP
503 SP
64 ATK
62 DEF
44 SATK
36 SDEF
143 AGI
88 LUCK
Oiled Up (Takes double damage from fire)

Abilities:
Beauty: 50 x 5 damage
Desperado Kick: 3 x 50 + 480 MT damage, 60% chance to trip, 20 SP
Great Desperado Kick: 3 x 50 + 560 MT damage, 60% chance to trip, 30 SP   
Final Desperado Kick: 3 x 50 + 620 MT damage, 60% chance to trip, 40 SP
Thigh Cracker: 3 x 50 + 440 damage, 0 % chance to paralyze, 15 SP
Thigh Crusher: 3 x 50 + 620 damage, 30 % chance to paralyze, 25 SP
Thigh Crippler: 3 x 50 + 710 damage, 30 % chance to paralyze, 35 SP
Magnificent Pose: 4 x 50 + 100% chance to blind, MT, 20 SP
Ravishing Point: 4 x 50 + 730 damage 30 SP   
Ravishing Knife: 4 x 50 + 1200 damage 40 SP   
Burning Eagle: 5 x 50 + 1150 fire damage, 80 % chance to burn 40 SP
Needle Shower: 3 x 50 + 710 damage 15 SP
Needle Typhon: 3 x 50 + 850 damage 25 SP
Needle Tsunami: 3 x 50 + 980 damage 35 SP

 
Ajeet



Level 28 Playboy

Equipment:
Queen Bands
Dandy Hat
Fur Coat
Badass Belt Buckle

Stats:
1800 HP
360 SP
101 ATK
161 DEF
75 SATK
85 SDEF
124 AGI
100 LUCK

Abilities:
Gouge: 70 % chance to blind   
Needle: 100% chance to weird out
Sear: 90 % chance to burn      
Hush: 90% chance to inflict wary (Isn’t that good?)
Rocket Piercer: 520, 10 SP
Rocket Skewer: 800, 30 SP
Rocket Impaler: 1050, 60 SP
Falling Tree: 1810, 100 SP
Space Hammer: 800, 35 SP
Universe Hammer: 1170, 45 SP
Abyssal Hammer: 1410, 40% accuracy, 90 SP
Finger Beam: 710, 20 SP
Finger Beam 2: 1050, 40 SP
Finger Beam 3: 1160, 50 SP

 
Birdie



Level 28 Drunkard

Equipment:
Queen Bands
Dandy Hat
Hawaiian Poncho
Old Sock

Stats
2193 HP
128 ATK
127 DEF
41 SATK
96 SDEF
105 AGI
148 LUCK
Stink (Lower chance to get attacked)

Abilities:
Swig: Inflicts drunk, gives 10 TP, and raises attack, targets self only. Actually lowers Drunkard Tumble damage from 810 to 600.
Drinks on me! : Inflicts drunk, 5 TP. Bad idea man.
Gasoline Spit: 100% chance to inflict oil, 80% chance to inflict blind, 10 TP
Lil’ Diddy: Cures crying / confusion / scared / weird / pissed off / wary, 15 TP
Pass Out: Fully heal, inflicts sleep and hangover on Birdie, 5 TP
Drunkard Tumble: 810, 5 TP
Drunkard Tumble 2: 1060, 10 TP
Drunkard Tumble 3: 1160, 15 TP
Drunkard Tumble 4: 1460, 20 TP
Secret Stash: Heals 560 HP, MT, 15 TP
 

Yazan



Level 28 Cat Shepard

Equipment:
Eastern Blade
Dandy Hat
Hawaiian Poncho
Cat Paw

Stats:
1281 HP
470 SP
66 ATK
87 DEF
41 SATK
113 SDEF
148 AGI
101 LUCK

Abilities:
Slash: 460
Three Wishes: 480 x 3 damage, 60% accuracy 30 SP   
Judgement: 900, 40 SP
Curse Slash: 560, 40% chance to scare, 30 SP
Wrath of the Wind: 630, lowers AGI, 30 SP
Blood-Stained Blade: Heals 280 SP

All the abilities below are animal elemental
Lioness’s Fury: 480, 90% chance to inflict bleed, 5 SP
Fluffy Wuffy: 50% chance to paralyze, 15 SP
Purrfect: Raises AGI, MT, 20 SP
Cat Lick: Heals 510 HP, 15 SP
Bad Mews: 15 SP, lowers enemy stats for 3 turns, Yazan can’t use cat attacks for 3 turns

 
Jack



Level 27 Magician

Equipment:
Playing Cards
Dandy Hat
Fur Coat

Stats:
1750 HP
492 SP
37 ATK
91 DEF
63 SATK
74 SDEF
132 AGI
71 LUCK

Abilities:
Card Toss: 170, 60% chance to inflict bleed
Trick Card: 530, 80% chance to burn, 10 SP
Juggle: 460, MT, 70% chance to burn, 40 SP
Levitate: 40% chance to scare, 20 SP
Mystic Juggle: 750, MT, 70% chance to burn, 20 SP
Wizardry Juggle: 900, MT, 80% chance to burn, 30 SP
Magic Hat: Unpredictable results. 50% chance to inflict Stink on Jack, 50% chance to inflict one of the attacks below. (higher chance for scare) 15 SP
Magic Hat 2: Unpredictable results. 40% chance to inflict Stink on Jack, 60% chance to inflict one of the attacks below. 20 SP
Magic Hat 3: Unpredictable results. 20% chance to inflict Stink on Jack, 80% chance to inflict one of the attacks below. 25 SP
Magic Hat 4: Unpredictable results. 20% chance to inflict Stink on Jack, 80% chance to inflict one of the attacks below. 15 SP
 
Possible Magic hat effects:
- Shoot for 370 damage    (with Magic Hat 1)
- 60% chance to inflict Wary (with Magic Hat 1/2/3)
- 40% chance to scare   (with Magic Hat 1/2/3/4)
- 100% chance to confuse (with Magic Hat 2)
- 50% chance to do 560 Damage and inflict depression (with Magic Hat 2/3/4)
- 100% chance to blind   (with Magic Hat 2/4)
- 30% chance to put to sleep   (with Magic Hat 2/4)
- Shoot for 1039 damage (with Magic Hat 3)
- 60% chance to inflict poison (with Magic Hat 3/4)
- 100% chance to do 640 damage and paralyze   (with Magic Hat 4   )

TL;DR: I tested Magic Hats for 1 and a half hour and still don’t know how they really work but I can confirm that they are all awful.

 
Tiger Man



Level 28 Dojo Buster

Equipment:
Mighty Spear
Tiger Head
Hawaiian Poncho

Stats:
1361 HP
283 SP
73 ATK
59 DEF
53 SATK
76 SDEF
140 AGI
101 LUCK

Abilities:
Spear Work: 50 x 5 damage
Double Swipe: 50 x 3 damage + 580 damage, 70% chance to inflict bleed, 20 SP
Pinwheel Slash: 50 x 3 damage + 730 damage, 70% chance to inflict bleed, 30 SP
Wood Pecker Pokes: 50 x 4 damage + 760 damage, 100% chance to inflict bleed, 35 SP
Fly Swatter: 50 x 3 damage + 1030 damage, 70% chance to inflict bleed, 40 SP   
Paintbrush: 50 x 5 damage + 1300 damage, 90% chance to inflict bleed, 50 SP
Red Tide: 50 x 5 damage + 1550 damage, 100% chance to inflict bleed, 70 SP

 
Fly



Level 28 Cart Master

Equipment:
Dandy Boy
Wood Shield
Sparkly Mask
Fur Coat
Stench

Stats:
1800 HP
338 SP
125 ATK
86 DEF
50 SATK
73 SDEF
161 AGI
69 LUCK
Stink (Lower chance to get attacked)

Abilities:
Drive-by: 600, MT
Puke: 100% chance to blind, 80% chance to enrage, 80% chance to inflict stink, 70% chance to poison, 20% chance to scare, 10% chance to paralyze, 15 SP   
Cart Slam: 860, 90% accuracy, 80% chance to trip, 20 SP
Cart Slam 2: 1210, 70% accuracy, 60% chance to trip, 30 SP
Cart Slam 3: 1550, 80% accuracy, 70% chance to trip, 40 SP
Cart Slam 4: 1710, 70% accuracy, 30% chance to trip, 50 SP
Super Puke: 80% chance to blind, 80% chance to enrage, 100% chance to inflict stink, 20% chance to poison, 30% chance to scare, 10% chance to paralyze, 30 SP. Yeah there’s nothing really super about it.

Note: Fly got hit by the nerf stick, that might explain why Cart Slam 4 and Super Puke feel like inferior options. 


Ollie



Level 28 Greaser

Equipment:
Dandy Boy
Dandy Hat
Fur Coat

Stats:
1695 HP
109 SP
85 ATK
88 DEF
50 SATK
85 SDEF
57 AGI
39 LUCK
Depressed (lower stats)

Abilities:
Triple Tap: 310
Dancing Serpent: 940, MT, 20% chance to scare, 40% chance to trip, 10 SP
Bullet Saw: 1070, 90% chance to inflict bleed, 10 SP   
Dancing Dragon: 810, MT, 40% chance to scare, 40% chance to trip, 30 SP
Bullet Guillotine: 1330, 90% chance to inflict bleed, 30 SP
Dancing Devil: 1140, MT, 70% chance to scare, 60% chance to trip, 40 SP
Weird Power: 100% chance to weird out, 20 SP   
Flash Powder: 80% chance to blind, 30 SP   
Sleep Powder: 40% chance to put to sleep, 40 SP   
Sister’s Kiss: 2010, 100% chance to inflict crying, 100% chance to inflict depression, 30% chance to scare, 50 SP

 
Dick



Level 28 Party Boy

Equipment:
Decent Boomerang
Sparkly Mask
Plastic Tarp

Stats
1800 HP
360 SP
57 ATK
93 DEF
50 SATK
93 SDEF
151 AGI
100 LUCK

Abilities:
Boomerang: 300
Party Foul: 500, 50% chance to stun, 5 TP   
Machine Gun Thrust: 3 x 230 damage, 80% accuracy, 10 TP
Big Machine Gun Thrust: 5 x 430 damage, 90% accuracy, 20 TP
Gainer: 690, 15 TP
Party Time: Inflict Party Mode, MT, 25 TP
Party Pose: Heals 25 TP
Rager Pose: Heals 40 TP
Headspin: 420, MT, 40% chance to trip, 15 TP
Perfect Headspin: 560, MT, 60 % chance to trip, 20 TP
Final Party Time!: Inflicts Party Mode, MT, 10 TP

 
Shocklord



Level 26 Pro Wrestler

Equipment:
Sparkly Mask
Turquoise Pads
Denim Jeans

Stats
2622 HP
292 SP
73 ATK
89 DEF
45 SATK
83 SDEF
44 AGI
21 LUCK

Abilities:
Big Shock: 1200, MT, 70% accuracy, 20 SP

 
Sonny



Level 25 Schizo-Wrestler

Equipment:
Harvey
Bare Chest

Stats:
2492 HP
340 TP
61 ATK
64 DEF
45 SATK
56 SDEF
77 AGI
102 LUCK

Abilities:
Clothesline: 430
Flail: 810, 5 TP
Lights Out: 850, 40% chance to stun, 7 TP
Frogsplash: 1100, 10 TP
Lights Out Forever: 1860, 30% chance to stun, 40 TP
Bear Hug: 670, 50% chance to stun, 10 TP
Senton Bomb: 1150, 25 TP
Scary Clothesline: 960, 20% chance to scare / 80% chance to inflict crying, 15 TP
Terrifying Clothesline: 1020, 40% chance to scare / 80% chance to inflict crying, 20 TP
Hideous Clothesline: 1230, 60% chance to scare / 90% chance to inflict crying, 30 TP

 
Buffalo



Level 25 Sportsman

Equipment:
Queen Bands
Eye Patch
Turquoise Pads

Stats:
1650 HP
330 TP
96 ATK
105 DEF
73 SATK
61 SDEF
112 AGI
92 LUCK

Abilities:
Tackle: 630, 40% chance to trip
American Tornado: 1040, 5 TP
Savage Rush: 920, 10 TP
Boulder Screw: 1220, 10 TP
Barbaric Rush: 1080, 15 TP
Rubble Screw: 1440, 15 TP
Satan Rush: 1330, 20 TP
Mountain Screw: 1550, 20 TP   
Lumberjack Tackle: 1120, 100% chance to trip, 30 TP
Patriot Exploder: 1430, 100% chance to burn, 40 TP

 
Crisp



Level 25 Swordsman

Equipment:
Sword Bundle
Plastic Tarp
Karate Belt

Stats:
1402 HP
242 SP
68 ATK
72 DEF
56 SATK
70 SDEF
137 AGI
63 LUCK

Abilities:
Slash: 760, 30% chance to inflict bleed, 10 SP    
Million Cutter: 4 x 670 damage, 50% accuracy, 40% chance to inflict bleed per each connecting hit, 40 SP
Hot Cutter: 670, fire, 100% chance to burn, 70% chance to inflict bleed, 30 SP
Wet Cutter: 770, water, 50% chance to inflict bleed, 30 SP
 


Average HP: 1977
Brad: 3663
Beastborn: 2727
Harvey: 2708
Shocklord: 2622
Mad Dog: 2537
Sonny: 2492
Rooster: 2397
RT: 2258
Queen: 2256
Percy: 2222
Birdie: 2193
Fardy: 2192
Olan: 2125
Bo: 1900
Garth: 1800
Ajeet: 1800
Dick: 1800
Fly: 1800
Nern: 1770
Jack: 1750
Rage: 1710
Ollie: 1695
Geese: 1687
Carp: 1659
Buffalo: 1650
Buckets: 1446
Crisp: 1402
Clint: 1377
Tiger Man: 1361
Yazan: 1281
Terry: 1002


Assuming TP haracters starting at 15 TP and get 20 TP per round (30 if they use a regular physical attack), which might be generous:
3 rounds Average damage: 1354
Buckets: 2540 (Bullet Tap x3)
Queen: 2485 (Final Beatdown x3)
Terry: 2440 (The Hottest Dance x3)
Olan: 2310 (Mega Big Shot + Mega Rapid Arrow x2)
Dick: 1935 (Big Machine Gun Thrust x3)
Rage: 1820 (Astro Elbow Drop x3)
Ajeet: 1810 (Falling Tree x3)
Tiger Man: 1800 (Red Tide x3)
Carp: 1580 (Fever River 3 x3)
Buffalo: 1510 (Rubble Screw x2 + Mountain Screw)
Birdie: 1460 (Drunkard Tumble 4 x3)
Ollie: 1440 (Triple Tap + Sister's Kiss x2)
Rooster: 1430 (Rooster Apocalypse x3)
Geese: 1410 (Flightless Bird x3)
Clint: 1400 Ravishing Knife x3)
Mad Dog: 1360 (Club+Nail Rake x2)
RT: 1330 (Savage Elbow 3 x3)
Fly: 1240 (Cart Slam 3 x3)
Harvey: 1210 (Water Gun 3 x3)
Fardy: 1150 (Truck Slam 4x3)
Sonny: 1140 (Frogsplash x2 + Hideous Clothesline)
Percy: 1010 (Big Fire Ball)
Beastborn: 950 (Whip + Final Deer Driver + Whip Flurry)
Yazan: 900 (Judgement x3)
Jack: 900 (Wizardry Juggle x3)
Brad: 860 (Fire Blast x3)
Shocklord: 840 (Big Shock x3)
Crisp: 770 (Wet Cutter x3)
Nern: 710 (Finger Beam 6 x3)
Garth: 120 (Dirty Stab x3)
Bo: 110 (Screeching Call x3)


Average agility: 109
Buckets: 181
Carp: 177
Fly: 161
Dick: 151
Geese: 148
Yazan: 148
Rage: 143
Rooster: 143
Clint: 143
Tiger Man: 140
Crisp: 137
Percy: 135
Jack: 132
Ajeet: 124
Olan: 120
Garh: 112
Buffalo: 112
Birdie: 105
Nern: 94
Harvey: 93
Bo: 92
Brad: 88
RT: 86
Queen: 84
Sonny: 77
Terry: 75
Mad Dog: 58
Ollie: 57
Shocklord: 44
Beastborn: 27
Fardy: 25

I don't care about other stats
 

[Fenrir]

Character analysis:

- Brad: Standard powerhouse, a bit slow, and joy addiction holds him back. Accurate multitarget stun is a godsend later in the game.
- Terry: Joke character with a ton of terrible attacks, who gain one awesome one super late. Even if he hadn't super low HPs, he still wouldn't be worth using anyway.
- Nern: SP healing is enough to make him one of the best characters, as you don't have to rely on scary campfires so much for healing. He "enables" a ton of characters, like the TP using ones, and Ollie.
- Olan: Pretty buff for a TP character, poison is a nice status.
- Rage: Stays in Brad's shadow for the whole game. And I don't want to have to remember two combos!
- Fardy: Give him Joy and you have your boss destroyer early on. Otherwise, not good at all.
- Beastborn: Sucks
- Mad Dog: Decent guy, Taunt helps him deal damage for free but he takes a while to get going.
- Rooster: Allright once he gets the SP skills, I guess, but reliant on Nern.
- Percy: Unfortunately not that bad, still not terribly impressive either.
- Geese: Did you know that he's a serial killer? Not even joking. Geese has fast speedy physicals, and can hold his own for boss fights too thanks to poison. Durability could be a bit better.
- Buckets: Glass cannon. Would be the best random slasher, but alas, he's an addict too...
- Garth: Piss off is a good status. I like Garth, but I'd rather have someone with status -and- damage.
- Carp: Another high attack/speed joy addict like Buckets, feed this guy some Joy for fun. Poison is pretty good if no one else in your team has it. He's well rounded.
- Bo: Cheap MT healing, I guess that's something. Just not that useful in the end.
- Harvey: Pretty powerful. The only problem is that water attacks might get in the way of your oil/burning strategy
- Queen: Queen's badass. Joy addiction holds her back a bit.
- RT: Average, that's not a bad thing at all here.
- Clint: Hahahah you paid 500 mags for this
- Ajeet: Pretty cool status. Eats SP like no tommorow, needs a Nern buddy
- Birdie: Another character that needs Nern pretty much. He has the best MT healing, and he synergizes well with Brad by spitting oil on enemies
- Yazan: His cat is the cutest but he's fucking terrible. That's what you get for looking for new katanas in Olathe, Kansas
- Jack: Cool cheap MT damage I guess. Kinda bad against bosses. Burn and bleed aren't really impressive status effects.
- Tiger Man: Biggest downgrade from boss status since Magus. AND he's a joy addict. Wow.
- Fly: He was already badass before being nerfed, he's still one of the best now. Puke wrecks stuff, and he has strong MT damage on top of it.
- Ollie: He's not as bad as he looks, but he only gets his super attack at level 25, and he's the guy who needs Nern the most.
- Dick: Synergizes well with low accuracy characters like Queen. Like every TP character he takes a bit too much time to get going in battle, and he's a joy addict. Still pretty allright
- Shocklord: lol
- Sonny: Nothing he has stands out, and he's a TP character on top of that.
- Buffalo: Really fails to impress too
- Crisp: Wow I was sure this guy was a badass, but he's bottom of the barrel


My tiers would be something like this:

Highest Tier
Fly
Nern
Harvey

High Tier
Brad
Olan
Queen
RT
Ajeet
Geese
Birdie

Middle Tier
Mad Dog
Buckets
Carp
Dick
Ollie
Rooster
Rage
Garth
Percy
Jack

Low Tier
Bo
Buffalo
Fardy
Beastborn
Sonny

Lowest Tier
Shocklord
Tiger Man
Clint
Yazan
Crisp
Terry

[Cotigo]

Should be noted that in game Oil makes everything trivial. I used Birdie to oil things, then Jack and Brad destroyed things with fire. As long as you have Birdie oiling things you can get by easily with a pretty middling tier party it turns out. Party was mostly Brad, Jack, Birdie, and Rage until Buffalo came along and I swapped Rage out.

I am curious though about how gimped Brad gets if you let his arms get cut off.

[Fenrir]

Oil is pretty nice but the game isn't that tough, you can play it with a terrible team and be fine.
There are a lot of fun and effective offensive strategies like stacking every status on bosses or using Joy on Queen or Buckets.

Armless Brad is very similar to his "advanced" class (Failure), which is the same no matter how many arms he has. He still can throw fireballs and stun everybody. His stats don't suffer too much, the major drawback is the crippling Joy addiction, it seems like he's suffering from withdrawal half the time (can't blame the guy)
Also climbing ropes is slower.

[Cotigo]

Also climbing ropes is slower.

God fuck this game

[Fenrir]

Dude try climbing ropes with no hands

[Cotigo]

btw does using Joy on not-Brad lock you out of the Joyless ending?

[Fenrir]

From what I heard yes (unfortunately), but it doesn't matter in PAIN MODE

[Fenrir]

For reference here is what every character says at the end of the game if they're in your final party.
I don't want this to be lost in the Internets because it's pretty great (Oh man: Terry, Shocklord, Rage, Fardy)

Mega spoilers


Nern Guan:  For the first time in my life I'm speechless. Brad my boy.... This is history... And it's for the best.

Ollie Nickles:  Nobdy cares about ol' Ollie. Quiet frankly I never anyone a reason to... My wife... My Kids... That's all going to change today.

Terry Hintz:  Brad... I've been a loser my whole life. Hanging around you have made me feel strong for once. Like a man... The first day we met was the best day of my life. ... Even before the world changed... Maybe you don't feel the same way... But you're my best friend dude. It's just this... Brad this is our future your messing with... I'm sorry. We can't let you do this.

Fly Minetti: I never liked you... Brad. Give her up.

Buckets:  ...

Crisp Ladaddy: You're a sick man Brad... You deserve this.

Mad Dog: ... Good night dear friend.

Yazan Barghouti: If we all die, who will take care of the animals? We need the girl!

Sonny Backluwitz: Harvey... I know... But we have to do this... Sorry tough guy.

RT: You can't run from us... ... The girl is ours... ... I never liked you anyway...

Shocklord: I don't like this... Guys this ain't right. Brad I don't want to hurt you! Stand down! Please...

Tiger Man: ...

Olan Hoyt: ... Sorry... But you can't do this. She is our future. ... I'm going to miss drinking  with you...

Queen Roger: God damnit... I hope we're not making a mistake...

Jack: I grew up in this world... I've never seen a girl... I have to see what it's like.

Rage Ironhead: I've wanted her since the beginning. What did you expect from us Brad?

Fardy Hernandez: You killed my brother... After everything my family has done for you... It's because of me you got this far... And it's because of me you won't get any further. It's time to die Brad.

Rooster Coleman: I'll give it to you straight, fella. That girl don't belong to you. She belongs to the world now. Just let it go.

Birdie Hall: Aaah Hell... I guess this is it eh? One last drink for the workin' man.

Geese Thompson: Fly away, fly away. Fight another day... Fight another day...

Ajeet Mandeep: We have to protect our futures. And after this our children's futures... It should never be about one man. His people come first. This is the lesson you need to be taught.

Garth: Sorry bud... Gotta stay in business somehow. Give her up.

Buffalo : I barely know you... And maybe this isn't my place to speak... But... This is humanity's last hope, brother. We gotta do what we gotta do... Sorry friend...

Harvey Alibastor: It was nice working with you pal. But Justice needs to be served.

Carp: ... ...

Bo Wyatt:  ... Your death won't be for nothing... I'll miss you.

Percy Monsoon: This is my chance to do something with my life. I need this. The world needs this.

Clint Olypmic: Don't make this worse than it already is. Walk away old man, the girl is ours.

Dick: What did you think was going to happen? You're being selfish, man... It's not working for us... This is it. This is the end...

Beastborn: Goodbye human.