An Aesthetic Discussion Spanning 17 Years - Andrew vs Pokemon - DAILY UPDATES!

[Lady Door]

I’m more baffled at rating Empoleon below Prinplup though. Middle child’s just an insufferable prick right there.

Empoleon is stupidly impractical. Prinplup can at least move without having his vision obstructed by a front-fin-chin-spaulders-tie and a trident glued to his face. Plus he has the eyelet-lacey scarf of a Lord High Judge printed on his chest. Inept palm claw things with minor articulation but swallowed whole by a stiff vambrace-sword-arm combination.

Empoleon looks like Howard the Duck and an Emperor Penguin had a nuclear accident with King Triton and the medieval section of the British Museum.

1/5 is too good.

[Random Consonant]

ok I wasn't going to say anything past what I already said because despite the tounge in cheek burn-the-witch commentary, taste is ultimately subjective and Empoleon's royal excess design isn't going to be for everyone and it is okay to dislike it, saying it deserves a sub-1/5 score is the most objectively wrong opinion I've seen expressed in this thread and I would say that even if I hated the design.  It has a clear sense of what the designers were going for, follows a reasonably clear progression with no especially egregious breaks in logic (like, sure I don't get why it suddenly has tiny flipper clawspikes or even necessarily how it's Steel-typed, but that's small potatos in comparison to some of stuff the stuff here, sup Shiftry how do you get tengu from anything there), isn't vaguely racist, weird fetish material, or looks like it belongs in a sex offender registry.  In short the only way I could find it in myself to disagree harder is if we were discussing some serious real-world issue here.

[Lady Door]

I'm glad we've set the bar for "1/5" to isn't vaguely racist, weird fetish material, or looks like it belongs in a sex offender registry. That's about where it ought to be.

And Empoleon still falls below it.

But fair, it at least follows a progression and looks like it's in the right neighborhood with Piplup and Prinplup, even if that neighborhood is due for eradication. (Also I blame you for me now casting these characters in a gritty procedural where Empoleon is the kingpin, Prinplup is the pimp, and Piplup is the... exploited... for lack of a more fitting term.)

[Dark Holy Elf]

Now I wonder if this was Andy's plot to get everyone interested in this thread again.

I don't have much to add personally that hasn't already been said by Mr. Consonant.

[Random Consonant]

And Empoleon still falls below it.

[citation needed]

(Also I blame you for me now casting these characters in a gritty procedural where Empoleon is the kingpin, Prinplup is the pimp, and Piplup is the... exploited... for lack of a more fitting term.)

 

[AndrewRogue]

In honor of my quantum anniversary, here's another stupid bird I'm reviewing while sick.

Starly: It's a birb. 2/5.

...kidding, kidding. I'll leave the starter with the shitty review and give the stupid earlygame bird a real one instead. It gets the little chubby city bird look down but honestly I just find the details lame. The little lion collar. The black beak tip. The cowlick. The clubs patter on its face. It's beady, soulless eyes. The colors are generally nice and complimentary and the body does work okay, but eh. 2/5

Staravia: Why did you make the cowlick stupider? Bird body is decent and the color patterning up on its face and chest are pretty near with divisions that look less asinine than Starly's collar. The pattern going flat over its eyes makes it look... I dunno. Nerdy? Like it has a bowl cut. I don't like that. And I seriously don't like the little black on its beak. It is immensely distracting for reasons I do not understand. Kinda borderline annoying me with that cowlick enough, but I'll let it skate by. Sick Andrew is filled with Mercy. 2/5

Staraptor: You're a decent hawk bo- oh you're head feathers you poor thing. I guess the AXE CUT is less stupid than Staravia's deathlick, and the little color dash is a nice change up. The chest feather floof is nice looking and that's a great pattern. I like the own "ears" thing too. But then you have that stupid beak still. Even dumber for the PREDATOR POKEMON to have that doofy ass beak. Also, I'm not going to count it against the design, but what is with the way the wings are bending up at the end? It looks like its flexing feather fingers but none of the other designs seem to do anything of the sort. It's weird. 2/5, I guess going the positive way this time? Andrew giveth mercy and Andrew giveth none.

Also why did he lose his one white tailfeather?

[Random Consonant]

I think Starly is cute but "it's a birb" pretty much adequately sums it up and its evos are pretty on the meh side.

[AndrewRogue]

Bidoof: He's fine. His little tail bulbs are kind of weird. Otherwise he looks like a slightly stupid beaver. Boring but not actively offensive is fine for a 3/5 with my ears hurting the way they are right now.

Bibarel: I kinda forget you exist. But hey, there is the tail. All around the different proportions on the face (and the little "mask" of fur) end up making it look a bit stupid and honestly less interesting (marginally) than Bidoof. So, since that was already borderline... 2/5

[Ranmilia]

Bidoof at least 2 points too low.  If you're gonna do "just a real animal, ish"...

[AndrewRogue]

Kreicketot: It is... slightly less stupid than Volbeat and Illumise? The colors are more complimentary and the design is a lot more cohesive. It's a little less ridiculously fat. The little cape on its back is almost clever as wings/wing covers. I don't really like it, but I feel bad scoring it at the same tier as the other two humanoid suit bugs, so... 2/5

Kricketune: There's... an idea here. The string instrument patterning isn't horrifically offensive. The not-quite-scyther arms are cute. The drop down of the head thing to be a mustache is a choice. The little... ear danglies exist? Those are some good bug eyes! Yeah, I got nothing. he's kind of a stupid mess. 1/5

[Ranmilia]

https://castlevania.fandom.com/wiki/Abaddon

[AndrewRogue]

Sickness makes this hard to do daily. Please end sickness. Two lines tonight to make up for it.

Shinx: Honestly I think I just hate electric types. I should go back and see if this is true at this point. This is just kind of... too much. Half and half color scheme with three different random tufts and weird ear crosses and multi-ring eyes and little ankle bands and a tail topper thing. It's just a lot and none of of it is really cohesive. The yellow speaks electric, but why... pretty much anything I listed previously. This design is just pulling in a ton of different directions. It isn't the ugliest but it is pretty much a hot mess. 1/5

Luxio: A shame the design is such a hot mess considering this is one of the better jobs GameFreaks does of just nice progressive grown on an evolution. Pretty much all the same elements, just... more. Also its mane beard makes me think of the amish. 1/5

Luxray: And suddenly red eye. Probably should have introduced that element a bit earlier. This is probably the best looking Shinx gets, and that's mostly because the growing in black serves to add a lot more coherency to the design by actually blending its elements. The sweep of all the tufts is also guided now instead of going just like... every direction. The receeding black on the back actually looks better here because, again, there is like, actual design being done in the way it hugs the legs. Ehhh. Its enough of an improvement over the other two I'll let it scrape by at 2/5.

Oh, and I guess since I remembered at the last second, this line does read a bit weirdly to be pure electric.

Budew: Is part poison. I honestly didn't know that. Or that Budew -> Roselia -> Roserade was an evolutionary line. The fuck. Uh. Budew exists. It is a very boring plant thing but not actively offensive? 2/5

Roserade: I honestly thought this was independent of Roselia and there were just two rose pokemon for some stupid reason. Uh. What did I say about Roselia? One sec, please...

...

...

Uh. I 'unno. I guess I like it better than Roselia, with the rose head being better than the spike head. The "mask" appearance on its face is kinda weird, but the body being more bud -like is cute? And I guess I like a cape more than a poncho? Cold medicine is kicking in hard, so let's just settle at 3/5 and say it is an improvement on its predecessor.

[Random Consonant]

I'd probably give the Luxray line a 2/5 throughout but yeaaaaaaah electric types are pretty bad design-wise on average.

[Hunter Sopko]

Also its mane beard makes me think of the amish. 1/5

Tis a fine barn, but tis no evolution, English.



Anyway, agreed mostly on Shinx. The first stage is just kinda dumb. But I do think it gets better. Luxio scrapes 2/5 and Luxray borders on 3/5.

[AndrewRogue]

Daily updates are a little spotty until I stop being sick.

[AndrewRogue]

Apparently I will never feel well again, so I guess here we go again.

Cranidos: I wish I had something more exciting to say, but I really don't. It's okay. The colors are nice and complimentary, the body shape is okay, it looks a lot like its source so isn't too exciting. It is a cute little headbutting dinosaur. Its art crushes both the sprites and model? Like, a lot. 4/5

Rampardos: And now it looks kinda stupid. The more cone look to the head is way less clean looking than the dome. The horns look.. utterly useless based on the dome. The whole hunchback thing is clunky looking (and the raised spine look that sinks down to the neck is weird). I mean, I get what they are going for, but I feel like there must have been a better way to do it that didn't look quite so janky. Oh, and the knee spikes. What even are those? 2/5

[AndrewRogue]

Shieldon: I look this goofy little cutie. Once again, nicely complimentary colors and a cute little dino body. Also that face. LOOK AT THOSE EYES. The grey bars are a little weird, but I do like the solid frill quite a bit. The single grey nail on each foot is a bit weird, though, as is the little single piece grey piece on the back. I want to keep it a little lower because of those details, but those eyes are too pure to let me go below 4/5. They see my soul and cleanse my sins.

Bastiodon: You are less cute. And your eyes are less pure. The castle frill is right on the border of being too obvious, but I think they play it down just enough that it works. And I have to admit, that is a face that looks like it can take a goddamn hit. The additional growth on the legs and back are pretty good, though the way the coverage drops down on a single rectangle to the tail is weird? But I do like how rough it all looks. Honestly, I think the eyebrow nosebone is the worst part? I think it is just one step too far and really makes the space around its eyes look too busy when combined with the tractor teeth. 3/5

[DjinnAndTonic]

Cranidos at 4/5, but the entire Shinx line at 1/5 or 2/5?

I think I know why you are feeling unwell. This is karma telling you to change your heathen ways.

(For serious, though, I hope you feel better soon. I imagine having a small child is probably contributing to your general unwell-ness... they are cute, but they are germ-factories...)

[AndrewRogue]

It takes 7 days to form a habit. In the meanwhile, you forget that you're supposed to do thing. Let's catch up with... oh. Oh no. No...

Burmy (Plant Cloak): What's the deal with the swirly bit on its head? The overall design is okay, but that thing kinda bothers me, partly because it just looks gross. But I like the way the leaf cloak looks. It conveys the bug covering itself in plant life well. Unsure what the deal with the little brown sticks are though. I dunno. Its fine. I find it okay. 3/5

Burmy (Sand Cloak): The sand covering is way less exciting and... honestly a bit less sensible than the leaf one too. I kinda feel more rocks would have been good here, as the sand cover is just sort of dull. What makes the leaves more interesting is that there is just more going on there. The three rocks are just meh. 2/5

Burmy (Trash Cloak): Did... did it roll in insulation? I just don't get what they are going for here. At all. Like, I don't get why insulation is the design choice here. And it is as boring as the sand one. 1/5

Wormadam (Plant Cloak): Not awful, but I really liked the more haphazard feel of Burmy more. This is just a bit too neat and comfortable. Which I guess is a direction you can take, but eh. For it being covering, I kind of want it to be more irregular. No perfect balanced flowers and leaves and all that. The "beak" is also a bit goofy looking and oddly bird like. And I really dislike the coloring at the end. It basically distracts from the core design without adding anything. 2/5

Wormadam (Sand Cloak): This is not what I meant when I asked for more rocks. I don't even know what is going on here. The leaves made sense up there, but these rocks are uh... This is just dumb. Should have been rock, not ground, focused. 1/5

Wormadam (Trash Cloak): I forgot to mention. This is steel type as its baby form. NOTHING about the design communicates that. At all. I'm done here. 1/5

Mothim: I don't really like the color blend here, but the wings are actually pretty neat looking structually with their little tassles. The face makes sense coming out of Burmy. I dunno. This one is weird. The entire design more or less reads a bit bland but okay, but I can't help but end up disliking this and I don't know why. Like, none of the pieces really bug me, but the whole assembly does. Eh. 2/5

[Random Consonant]

I can get the discarded insulation bit but yeah why the heck is that form steel?

Also I forgot Burmy and its ilk even existed.

[Hunter Sopko]

For Burmy, I always got the sense that it's supposed to be another one of those Cocoon types and the swirly part is the bit connecting it to a tree or something

[AndrewRogue]

I am the fucking worst at remembering to do things.

Combee: It freaks me out that only one of the faces has a torso to go with it. Are the other two real? I mean, at one level, this thing is utterly impractical and impossible to imagine. At the other, it is kind of a neat take on the bee thing (and I like the anime image of them forming a WALL OF COMBEE). The little female differentiator is cute given this is a gendered evolution. But it is really hard to get over how awkward it looks with its three-headed honeycomb with one bee body. 3/5 But it's so happy.

Vespiquen: That's really not spelled with two e's? It really isn't. Uh... let's see. Always a positive for an evolution when it keeps elements of previous designs  (the whole honeycomb thing). The vision is there and exists. Those wings are super tiny though. I dunno. I feel like I should have more to say about this design but I really don't. It's oddly generic all things considered. Regal queen bee thing. 3/5.

And since I am one behind on account of being too stupid yesterday...

Pachirisu: This gen's electric rodent. It's one of the better looking ones I think? There isn't a lot to it, but the blue and white is nice, as is the slightly spikey design to the blue on the head/ears as well as the tail spikes. The yellow cheeks are the worst part of its design I think, not only not blending well with the rest of it, but also way too strongly calling it out as this gen's Pikachu wannabe. I also think maybe doing more with the tail spikes would have been better? But I find myself just feeling fine about this. 3/5

[Captain K]

If I remember correctly, VespiquEEn is actually too long to fit in the number of spaces alotted.

EDIT: Nevermind I just looked. Gen 1-5 was limited to 10 characters, which is enough to accomodate Vespiqueen. So it's just stupid.

Currently the only pokemon with a name more than 10 letters is Fletchinder.

[Lady Door]

Pachirisu has cheek pouches to store its electric juice. It's not its fault that Pokemon nature is uninspired and couldn't think of a better way for rats to store electric power until they got to Hawaii or whatever.

[AndrewRogue]

Togedemaru has cheek pouches too, love. YOU WERE THERE. YOU WATCHED SUN AND MOON WITH ME.

I seem to remember every other day I should be doing this. No double tonight because I am tired.

Buizel: Exists. Honestly, it is a decent looking otter, the split tail is a nice little addition, the arm fins work better than I'd expect for composition and color. The face is really cute with the color toning and the sorta whiskers. Eyebrows are kinda eh though. Hairlick is okay and actually gives its head a bit of fish shape. The floatation ring is the iffiest part of the design. I get what they are doing with it, but I just think it looks a bit awkward. Maybe a little low, but 3/5

Floatzel: I don't like the direction this goes in for the most part. The face patterning is a bit less interesting with how much more even the white is, the little black lines less attractive positioned over where they are, and the dot on the forehead is weird. The bigger, sharper armfins also look worse and the flotation device ends up about the same. The little waterdrop mark on its belly (and the white twin on its back) are kind of cute. And really, for some reason, I do find the floatation less bad here then the choker. Meh. I like it less, but not that much less. 3/5