E-peen measuring? Okay. My current character relics, from newest to oldest.
Ramza's Platinum Sword: I was expecting to get -anything- but this from the FFT banner. As luck would have it, it's the only relic from it I got. And yeah, the Shout hype is true: it dwarfs all other non-stacking attack buffs, ATK +50% and Hastega from a single source is way too good and alone makes Ramza a must-have Support. Two SSBs and Shout in your party pretty much murder everything once all pieces fall into place in battle.
Gilgamesh's Genji Blade+: Fairly standard AoE 6x mult attack with three hits and Major Regen attached, so it's cool, but not incredible. HOWEVER, Gilgamesh is an amazing PC and having a SSB to work him with is totally great. Also, Enkidu and Gilgy high-five each other in this attack. You just can't go wrong here. Also justifies honing Saint Cross.
Lightning's Peacemaker: Strongest AoE SSB to date and Lightning's a strong slugfester, so it works well. If Thunder-elemental damage is resisted, I can go back to Blaze Rush. Lightning's once again my top Combat PC thanks to it as well. Funnily, this is the second Light SB I get from a Soul Break celebration (I got her Blazefire from September's Soul Breakfast).
Steiner's Ultima Sword+: Workhorse SB for a Knight PC -and- a FF9 sword? Cool, I needed both of those. Banner 5 treated me kindly.
Locke's Wing Edge: What I got for aiming at Lulu's Hairpin on the SSB celebration last month. I guess it's FF6 synergy and the SB has its perks. Also sorta justifies Thief's Revenge Locke.
Quistis' Red Scorpion: Quistis sorta sucks, but the SB is incredible. It works when I want to bring a mage party with Hastega. I'll likely dump all my Record Dive fragments on her once the mechanic comes over to Global.
Edge's Murasame: This is a really fun weapon. FF4 synergy, boosts Water damage, rocks acceptable magic so it's a neat ninja weapon. Edge ain't a great PC, but the AoE stun certainly helped against FF2's Gigas Ultimate.
Irvine's Ulysses: Cool SB, solid gun, miserable PC. The works. Suppose it'll get its time to shine again when Ifrit's Fragment Dungeon is out.
Kimahri's Dusk Lance: -Really-? It's a neat weapon, but I'm certainly not fielding Kimahri just for a Magic Blink effect.
Dark Knight Cecil's Shadowblade: FF4 physical synergy+workhorse MT attack buffing for a character who badly needs utility. Overshadowed later by Ramza's Shout, but what can ya do.
Zidane's Orichalcum+: Go figure, my first SSB is one of those who don't play nicely with Shout meta. Ah well, a SSB is a SSB and Zidane will be great once his MC2 is released. It was also helpful for the few battles I had to go with only that as my main offensive SB. The knife also works as one of my top stat sticks.
Rinoa's Rising Sun: 100-gem draw from Laguna's first banner. Seriously? I guess it solidifies my mage equips on FF8 and I have to admit perfect MT slow has seen a lot of use since I got it.
Mog's Holy Lance++: Getting this to 5++ was my -other- reward from chasing Lulu's Hairpin. The weapon is currently great FF6 synergy and the SB served me well before Shout, but retirement's the breaks with Shout Meta.
Kefka's Lamia's Flute: Kefka's a fun PC and the SB made him even moreso. I love the laugh. Too bad he won't see the light of day for months from now on, but it was entertaining while it lasted.
Amarant's Scissor Fangs: Well, it's my best fist-type equipment. The SB's frankly outdated and Amarant ain't great, but oh well.
Rikku's Guardian Targe+: So many poor design decisions in this SB (non-stacking multiple stat buffs? Check. Last shield with no offensive boosts? Check), but it's kinda neat anyway. Rikku's an awkward PC, but I guess HyperNulAl may tide me over on Cid's Missions later on.
Tellah's Polymorph Rod: Workhorse stat stick, having both Mag and Mind in equal measures is great. Nothing else, though.
Y'shtola's Thyrus: We all know the stories here. Wall is amazing.
Rinoa's Valkyrie: MVP of the Nightmare Ultima Buster fight. Otherwise, just there, picked it from the Beginner's Banner.
Squall's Shear Trigger+: Collateral damage from Thyrus in December's SSB fest. Very adequate stat stick, if nothing else, and I used Squall here and there for the burst damage. It's no SSB, but oh well.
Vanille's Wyrmfang+: Well, the crazy kiwi is my third Medica slinger. Rather functional and I like the Wyrmfang as a stat stick. I bring her to fights now and then.
Yuna's Magistral Rod: You came around four months too late. At least it's a FF10 stat stick.
Reno's Telescopic Baton: Neat FF7 stat stick (I slap it on Gilgamesh for physicals in FF7 events, it's great), but the SB and Reno are both underwhelming. Oh well.
Tidus' Lightning Steel: FF10 stat stick with Lightning boosting. Will likely be fun on FF10 dungeons with Crushing Blow.
Yuna's Lullaby Rod: Hymn of the Fayth was a gamechanger. Still a great SB, even if Relm's about to obsolete it.
Eiko's Golem's Flute++: My first ++ weapon and my first Medica. Great SB too, hard to say no to healing and Hastega in a single move. It also has the added perk of making my Ramza Shout RW kinda monstrous, he'll sport over 300 MND once I'm done levelling him.
Snow's Wild Bear: How often I use Snow's SB: I forgot about this until I went back to my equipment list. Yeah, decent enough armor, but single-hit first-wave SB was a waste of time even when I got this back in Hope's release event, let alone -now-.
Tidus' Brotherhood: Lucky Draw stat stick. Nothing else, really.
Rydia's Ice Whip: Nice stat stick for Rydia, really. Too bad it's so limited for people who can equip it, but them's the breaks.
Sazh's Boon: Good times when I had all Hastega relics in the game. Regardless, Boon was one of the big gamechangers back in the pre-SSB days and remained a top contender until uh Mighty Guard 8. Still nice to have and tided me over in many a fight.
Cyan's Kotetsu: The SB's more or less useless, but this was my only Katana for ages. Nice stat stick.
Lightning's Blazefire Saber: My top sword for fucking -months-, made Lightning my premier offensive physical unit for months in a row. Fond memories for this one.
Golbez' Rune Axe: My very second mage weapon, made Golbez my top mage for a couple months in spite of lower MAG than Vivi. Single-handedly gave me his event in a silver platter.
Wakka's Official Ball+: Got this trying for Yuna's Magistral Rod when it first came around. Can't say I had the worst end of the deal, Status Reels was quite a nice SB back in the days. Obsolete, but I still use the ball as a niche equip in FF10 dungeons.
Red XIII's Diamond Pin+: So yeah, I've had Hastega in the game since it was first made available. Red XIII sadly was an awkward PC for months (bad equipment options, no Memory Crystal for ages), but still made worlds of difference when needed.
Vivi's Oak Staff: My very first 5*. Fond memories, it was the best mage stat stick for ages in a row back in a time where getting -any- 5* magic equip was crazy times and magic was at the top of its damage game. I doubt I'd have started mastering events since Garnet's release if I hadn't picked this up on a cult-of-three. Obsolete, but quite nice while it lasted.